@lamprey263: Yes, they matched. I'm going to re-check now though (thanks OCD!).

It came back looking worse than it left. Not like it got dragged behind a truck, but subtle stuff like the sticker, and the corners were dented. The container was fine when I got it back, so it happened either as an outgoing package, or at the Microsoft facility. Microsoft provided nothing to ship it in, but they did provide a detailed "how to ship" document, which I followed exactly. Shame on me for not taking "before" pictures. Live and learn.

Update: Contacted my state's Attorney General's office, and they said I should file a complaint with the Department of Justice, no question. This will take up to 35 days to resolve once they receive it. Here we go folks...

After having spoken with Microsoft, and been advised to take the matter up with FedEx, FedEx has told me I cannot make a damage claim on the shipment. It must come from Microsoft. The runaround continues...

Awesome idea, didn't think of checking the printed serials against actual serial.

@davie81:

Is it the CD drive possibly? They can make that "brrp" noise sometimes.

@ShoTTyMcNaDeS:

Yea, you're right. Letting it sit on a hard surface, with nothing else around it, never moving it, and lifting it just a bit to promote airflow is being quite abusive. Thanks for the tip!

I would probably take a crack at it myself if I just end up being stuck with it.

Update: Turns out Microsoft says the fact that the sticker got mangled is why they rejected it for warranty repair. Since it left my possession intact, I've filed a claim with FedEx. They have about a week to get back to me.

@xhawk27: It worked for 111 days, so just over 3 months. It's not the brick, at least not according to Xbox support. I don't have another one to try, sadly.

I should know more about the situation tonight, I'm calling back to follow-up.

I called the local Walmart. It failed, manager wouldn't even get on the phone. An in-person trip is next. I called corporate. They did tell me I had an extended warranty, only to find out they won't honor it if Microsoft doesn't. I'm still waiting to hear back from Microsoft as I sent them pictures of the damage that was done while they had it for repair, but I'm not holding my breath.

I have a PS3 and a 360 (which red-ringed twice, when will I ever learn). This Xbox One is a family system, but it's not moving around, and certainly nobody has been taking it apart. My best guess is that I was sold a refurbished product marketed as new, but I have absolutely no basis for that thought. It's the only logical thing I can think of. Maybe that's my biggest mistake, trying to apply logic to this situation.