Lockedge's forum posts
people are often quick to forget about trans men. In pretty much any anti-trans* argument, you guys are just silenced and erased for the sake of their arguments. It's really upsetting, tbh, because you guys deal with a lot of crap too and outside of trans*-friendly LGBT groups, there's not a hell of a lot of publicity and support going round for that. I figure it just makes people too uncomfortable to consider there are even more potential people that they wouldn't flag as trans* if they saw them walking down the street, or into the washroom. :PI wonder if all the guys saying that bathrooms should be separated by the sex you were born as would be okay with me, a trans man that's been on testosterone for months, using the women's restroom. Probably not.
PeaceChild90
You and foxhound did well here. It's not often I see these threads have more than ghoklebutter, toast_burner and the odd other person consistently supporting this kind of thing. it was pretty cool, considering this is gamespot. I think a lot of people fail to understand that the decision on washrooms mutates significantly when you're trans*, at least as I understand it from my own experiences, experiences of trans* friends of mine, and the dozen or two studies I've read that were done on this sort of thing. it changes from: "I need to pee, is there a lineup? Yes?, maybe i choose the free washroom anyways if I need to go that badly. No? I choose the one befitting my assigned sex, and off we go" to "Which one of these will lessen my risk of being assaulted or harassed?" Early in transition, I never really let myself worry about washrooms. I just forced myself to think of them as rooms people pee in, and occasionally do #2s in, and for a while, since I looked like a dude, I didn't really care about using the "men's" washroom. But when I started presenting more like i wanted to, it suddenly became a big issue. An incident where I, not caring about how femme I looked, went into the "men's" room (as many would have wanted me to, considering my current set of reproductive organs to relieve myself. It only took a few moments for some rather easily disgrntled individuals to deduce that I was a trans woman, and I spent the next thirty minutes trapped in a washroom stall being taunted and threatened by some people outside until my dad decided to come find me and get me out of there. That was in new york state, of all places. And then that autumn when i go to school, I'm presenting androgynous, leaning femme, and usually i used the women's washroom, worried that if I went and used the men's, I'd get harassed again. For the most part, the girls didn't notice or care I was there. But there were four days wher i just wasn't feeling too confident in my appearance, and despite presenting pretty femme in an attempt t make up for it, I went into the men's washroom, and half of those times I got the same welcoming I had at the rest stop that summer, expect I didn't have a stall to hide in either time, or someone to come and help me out. And yeah, I only walked away with some bruising, a sore midsection, and a wounded ego but it's not an uncommon occurrence for trans people to go through. I tend to just avoid public washrooms, which is hard seeing that I tend to spend much of my weekdays on campus, and there's like, three gender neutral washrooms I can have access to, and they're all in one building, and it's not all that easy to get to them. I'm talking a ten, fifteen minute walk at times. Passing by all the gender segregated ones that could bring me trouble, because wanting to pee in peace can get me hurt. The majority of people don't have to deal with that. The majority of people might get a little confused, or feel a little awkward, or maybe, depending on their upbringing and the social norms they follow, might get a little suspicious. And if people would stop thinking "Men can't go into women's washrooms without raping them", which is a major flawed idea that segregated washrooms has birthed, maybe it would be easier for trans women to go into washrooms without worrying about backlash. Luckily, Coy probably doesn't have to worry too much about that kind of thing right now, at her age. She just wants acceptance, to fit in, to be allowed to be comfortable. That's generally what most trans* folk want. And if i were to use a women's public washroom right now, I doubt anyone would bat an eyelash, and that makes me smile. But I know that if I declared I was trans in there, there would be a chance something bad would happen, and that's wrong. All because of a tidbit of information that doesn't literally change anything, that shouldn't cause immediate character assassination. But because the majority of people are, to some degree, transphobic...well, it just means there's a lot of work to be done. People deserve to be able to pee in peace.The sad thing is, even though this was an exercise of unification, it will only bring friction. I'm just gonna go smoke some pot with my 72 year old father.Â
Peace.
InEMplease
Yet that's what's happening by default to most trans* kids, being forced into following through with a puberty that can quite often be painful and emotionally taxing to endure. There's a reason why nearly half of trans* teenagers, 42% (a surprisingly conservative estimate), attempt suicide. So allowing a child to explore their gender identity and expression would be a great help, and yes...there is a chance that a child might feel pressured to go through with one, but there are therapists and doctors there to check for all that as gatekeepers of sorts. Their track records are pretty awesome across the board in terms of the % of trans people satisfied with transition. Could one or two slip through? it's possible, I guess. Better to trust therapists and doctors to do their jobs and have that happen than to keep trans* kids from getting the help they need and having tens of thousands of people getting their bodies permanently changed, and having them (quite commonly) emotionally scarred. One's sense of identity is developed at a young age, as I've stated earlier in this thread. It goes hand in hand with why kids, up to a certain age, are so self-centred. Kids can know at really young ages. I knew at a young age, four and a half iirc, but my parents worked to convince me I was wrong for thinking how i did. And because of that, I went through a horrible puberty and while I love my parents, and they didn't mean to hurt me, that social pressure to conform to their expectations really messed me up something serious. A lot of trans* people have gone through similar experiences and come out of their teens as broken messes of people, just because we weren't given what we needed, including the support and compassion of those who are supposed to take care of us. Coy's parents are doing a good job here, it's not irreversible, and yes, there could be bullying, but either way, there would be bullying. Either kids bullying Coy, or her parents bullying her. it's not easy being trans*. Coy being able to use the washroom she deserves to use is a good thing. Because she identifies as a girl, she knows she's a girl, and that's all that matters.I still find this whole thing stupid.
6 years old is still too young to declare yourself the wronge gener. Hell, puperty I would say would be the minimum time for such decisions.
When most 6 year olds can't decide if Santa is real or not, I don't think its healthy to encourage one to think they know their gender.
This could create a scenario where the child does lose interest in changing sex, but feels pressured by others' agendas to stay the course. That is cruel.
dercoo
No surgery quite yet (or hormones). That happens much, much, much later. This is just a young girl who wants to use the right washroom, and wants to be treated like all the other young girls in her school.I think you should at least be an adult before you have transgender surgery.
MakeMeaSammitch
I'd hardly say it's considered normal (even if such compassion should be), but it's certainly not wrong or tantamount to child abuse. Child abuse would be to have a child experiencing gender dysphoria, and refusing to help them with it no matter how your child is struggling or suffering.[QUOTE="Lockedge"][QUOTE="Flubbbs"]
parents havent been charged with child abuse yet? what a sick world we live in where this kind of behavior is considered 'normal'
Flubbbs
6 year olds dont experience gender dysphoria.. the parents are sick people and should have there kids took away to prevent further damage
I'm about 100% sure children that young can experience gender dysphoria. There are plenty of studies showing this is possible. As for Coy, it doesn't appear that her parents are damaging her. They made the questionable decision in outing their daughter to the nation and everything, which isn't something I found to be all that acceptable, but I can only hope that they say down with her and talked to her about getting her consent aand what issues being out could cause her in the future. But that's about all I can see in terms of "damage", and at least what her parents did had the best of intentions behind it.I'd hardly say it's considered normal (even if such compassion should be), but it's certainly not wrong or tantamount to child abuse. Child abuse would be to have a child experiencing gender dysphoria, and refusing to help them with it no matter how your child is struggling or suffering.parents havent been charged with child abuse yet? what a sick world we live in where this kind of behavior is considered 'normal'
Flubbbs
[QUOTE="Ace6301"][QUOTE="BMD004"]Something IS wrong if a boy feels like a girl. It's not their fault, but it isn't normal.BMD004How does not normal = wrong? Or are we back in the times when we forced lefties to write right handed?People with transgender issues have a mental problem. That's all I'm saying. If you have a problem, you try to get it fixed. And at Coy's age, the proper treatment is allowing social transition. And if Coy feels the same when she's nearing puberty, the proper treatment would be puberty blockers, to delay puberty until she either stops wanting to take them, or reaches adulthood, when she can make her own medical decisions, like Hormone Replacement Therapy and everything. And no, it's not as simple as "a mental problem". Not that it should matter, but there's a growing mountain of evidence supporting it being physiological, and developing in utero. Which is why going in for cognitive therapy, psychoanalysis (whether dynamic or otherwise), or other forms of psychotherapy just doesn't work. it never has. The only known effective treatment involves transition, with variances in how it's implemented depending on the needs of the individual both socially and physically. There's forty years of science backing this up. The science around the treatment of trans* folk is much more thorough and established than the science around homosexuality, and people (in general) rightfully understand being gay isn't a mental problem. For some inexplicable reason, that same respect hasn't been given to the research around trans* folk, despite it having earned it many times over. The dysphoria is the issue, not being trans* itself.
People don't magically gain the ability to understand themselves upon getting to the legal age of majority or whatever. Our bodies and minds develop as we age, and the part of your brain that develops your sense of identity forms really quickly. It's partially why children are so self-centred, because they develop that part of themselves before they start being able to understand reality from other perspectives, empathize, etc. So six, as surprising as it may seem to many people in this thread, is not too young for this sort of realization. Many trans* people discover this about themselves at young ages, and can't get access to the help they need to operate comfortably in society. Coy here just wants to be able to use the girl's washroom like all the other girls. Washrooms have stalls, and privacy, and her being allowed to go to the washroom she deserves to go to will help curb bullying, where forcing her into the boy's washroom would set a precedent that Coy is different, wrong, and would open her up for more bullying.he's SIX - it's too young to make a decision like that, surely? (because i'm not sure, and don't really understand much about transgender people). It'd be different if an adult man thinks he should've been born a girl and wears dresses and makeup, going into the girls toilets wouldn't it?
firefluff3
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