[QUOTE="clicketyclick"]
Actually, it's proper writing. I just finished a philosophy major and this is how they encourage you to write. In the very first paragraph, state exactly what you're trying to argue. Right in the first paragraph. And this is how not just university students are told to write, but is also how professional philosophers write. Wow that sounds funny.
GabuEx
It's proper writing if you're writing an editorial. It's not proper writing if you're writing a review on a game.
Here are all the things wrong with it:
"Super Mario Galaxy 2 is a very cute Mario game that I would strongly suggest for my nephew, Kyle. It's quite good. On the other hand, I'm going to devote a lot of this review to criticizing the one super dumb thing in it that's annoying me to no end."
Right off the bat, the reviewer basically acknowledges that this isn't going to be a review. Spending a considerable time in a review criticizing one single thing makes for an objectively bad review. The purpose of a review is to give a broad overview of a game and to evaluate it as a whole such that those reading will be able to better make a decision regarding whether or not to purchase it. Leave your pet peeves at the door. Mention them in passing if you must, but for God's sake don't declare right in the opening paragraph that you're going to devote much of the review to them.
"OK, that's great. For kids. And for casual gamers. And for parents. But what is it with all the adult reviewers in America giving this game their best ratings of the year? With all due respect to other reviewers, this is kids' stuff. Are you really enjoying this game so much? Really? Really?"
As if the first paragraph wasn't enough, now we find out one of the dumb things in it that's annoying him to no end, and it's... not even something in the game. He devotes three whole sentences right at the beginning to saying absolutely nothing about the game, and instead looks like he's trying to desperately draw out applause from the crowd as if he's Jerry Seinfeld ("I mean, seriously guys, what's up with those adult reviewers liking this game? Am I right?").
"The big, good thing: There are more than 40 stages to travel through. The universe looks creative and colorful. The planets are lovely. It's fairly easy to maneuver Mario (but not smooth enough, I'd say). The annoying thing: As usual with the Wii, you hold one hand controller in your left hand, and another hand controller in your right hand. That's fine. But for this game, more than most games, you must point the right-handed wand at the screen for what seems like an eternity, to control a cursor that A) rolls over floating stars (to collect them), B) grabs onto things to eat, and C) grabs onto things to zipline up to."
OK, you hate using the Wii pointer, even though that's an integral part of the controller. Fine.
"Am I the only critic who thinks pointing-at-collectible-stars-all-the-time is off-putting and makes my right hand go numb after a few hours? I think I might be."
And now we're back to talking about those weird ol' other adult critics again.
"I don't want to sound like a Mario hater. I'm not. Me and Mario go way back. But this never-ceasing Wand-pointing business makes me want to play a different game in my spare time. I want to stress that complaint to game-makers for future 'Galaxy' sequels. Thank you. That said, let's get back to perspective: This is a very good, huge game, with months of replay value for your nephew, your casual gamer, your parents, your Nintendo fanboys. Also, your adult critics, one of whom called this the best Wii game yet made."
And that's it. That's the whole review. He spends two-fifths of the time complaining about one single design choice that he didn't like, two-fifths of the time awkwardly questioning the tastes of, uh, basically every reviewer in the world, and one-fifth of the game talking about how despite these facts the game is great. I can summarize why this is a terrible review in one sentence: If I were a prospective buyer, and if I had read the review, I would have walked away with absolutely no extra knowledge whatsoever that would have helped me in my decision on whether or not to buy the game. This review would have gotten a poor grade in high school. It's rambling, aimless, and totally unhelpful on every level. The guy has basically abused his position as a reviewer to instead just write a poorly written rant. And that is why this is an objectively bad review.
that pretty much sums it up, great job gabuex. and i am amazed, i posted here yesterday when their were a few posts, i came back the next day to see that their are 6 pages loaded with posts, seriously, is this review bothering you people so much? it was a horrible review like mentioned above, and it shouldnt bother anyone, if you are enjoying the game and almost all the critics who rated this game gave it their best scores then consider the game amazing, dont be bothered by 1 stupid review. i personally dont care for reviews about this game, i use reviews when i needed advice about buying a game, but i already knew this game was going to be amazing so i didnt care, let the mario or causal game haters say bad things, they wont enjoy the game but you will. anyway im gonna leave this thread, no need to waste more time here.
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