Will try to drop in whenever possible. Working 12+ hours a day gives time for little else. After a long time, started a little writing.

You don't need to add spaces between paragraphs, but you really do need to add indents. You can do it on google docs pretty easily. Just select all and add an indent or two to your taste so that it's a bit more easy to read.

Foolz3h

Actually spaces between paras makes it an easier read rather than only indents. 

First of let me welcome myself to the union. Yes, thank you. Now to business:

Honestly, I'm not a big of the way you structured the review. I used to write this way but found that it broke the flow of the review. I can't comment on the content of the review but I can at least comment on the quality of the writing. The revew is neat and upto the point, so I like it. It delivers the point it's trying to make effectively. Though a coiple of examples or comparisons might have given the review a more personalized touch instead of looking very generic.

Anyways, good job, I say. 

[QUOTE="iloveflash"]

Okay chapter. I agree with Barb, though, you'd think an important specimen would have an army of bounty hunters from all over the land being sent at it, not just one, however good or even bad as he is. I also agree with the ink issue, now that it's been brought up. Obviously that's a plot device, but the logic behind it is tough to ignore once you spot it.

waZelda

Though one highly skilled team would be more stealthy, so I'd say it would depend on the specimen.

Hmm... Honestly speaking a skilled team would have indeed been a good idea and I overlooked it... But... *spoiler* 

Anyway, my only real iff here is the dialogue, which so far has been underwhelming compared to the vocabulary-rich, smoothly flowing narration. The characters just don't have any personality--no distinguishable traits, no standout quirks, nothng but the bare minimum of generic features. Even Death's Saviour's side characters had more personality, and that's saying something!

iloveflash

You're right. The dialogue is bland... Damn! I knew I had become too obsessive in preventing my characters from going over the top but now that you mention it, it is pretty horrible. 

With no sense of self-satisfaction. Barbariser

Hmm... That's something we have in common :P