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deactivated-5d6bb9cb2ee20

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#1 deactivated-5d6bb9cb2ee20
Member since 2006 • 82724 Posts

Do you write? At all, anything? Non fiction? Fiction? Poetry, prose? Short stories, novellas, novels? If you write in any capacity whatsoever, let this be a place for you to share some of your stuff with the fine people here at PUSH. Feel free to share what you have written, and to get some feedback here! Don't feel shy or ashamed of whatever you've written at all, we're pretty sure no matter what it is, it's going to be great!

I'll start off with a simple poem I cooked up at a moment's notice for one of my classes :P If this takes off, I'll begin sharing some of my longer stuff here:

BROKEN BODY

Broken body,
Shattered frame,
Aging bones,
Dying again
As every part of me screams
For release, cries out in pain

Arms are heavy,
Legs are shaking,
Eyes don't focus,
Ears are ringing
Heavy Breathing,
Never sleeping,
Trouble Eating

The blood is rushing
Gushing through the veins
The heart is pounding,
Beating against its cage
As the body falls apart,
And all else fails,
Inside the head,
A still vital brain remains

Broken body,
Shattered frame
Housing a still vital brain
Trying to outlive its vessel in vain
Screaming in shuddering gasps of pain,
Let me out of my prison, my bane
So that I may live once more, again

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DarthJohnova

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#2 DarthJohnova
Member since 2010 • 4599 Posts

Nice one Chaz, a writer's lounge is something I've wanted but been reluctant to make. Hopefully, we can keep this thread strictly on-topic and writing related.

I find it hard to give feedback on poems to be honest, they're generally pretty personal and it's hard to comment on them. I did enjoy readings yours however, it's certainly traumatic, and in a weird way claustrophobic; the idea of your brain still working and still being stuck inside a vessel of a body that has essentially shutdown.

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turtlethetaffer

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#3 turtlethetaffer
Member since 2009 • 18973 Posts

That was a really cool poem Charizard. Maybe you should share more!

Anyways, here is a short horror story I wrote a few months ago. The Dollmaker

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freedomfreak

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#4 freedomfreak
Member since 2004 • 52232 Posts
Is it okay to post my feedback on your novel in here?
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Minishdriveby

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#5 Minishdriveby
Member since 2006 • 10519 Posts

My girlfriend is doing an honors in the major project with her focus being poetry. She has to write a book of about 50 poems, and then present it to a committee. She's only let me read one of her poems, but it was pretty awesome. I'm not sure if I can get her permission to share her poem though. She doesn't like to show people her work.

I'm not a big writer. I wrote a creative piece for English at university and it got nominated to be in an end of the year magazine for the college though. Looking back on it, what I wrote was crap, but here it is if you would like to read it.

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B5LxaM_GreInN1FTNXBkNjBXMUk

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psymon100

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#6 psymon100
Member since 2012 • 6835 Posts

Your blood is rushing through your veins?

I'd see a doctor. It doesn't normally do that. It normally rushes most at the aorta, and it rushes it's way through the arterial tree, then slooowly passively makes its way back through the venous system to the vena cava. 

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DarthJohnova

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#7 DarthJohnova
Member since 2010 • 4599 Posts

Here's a poem I wrote a few years ago; I've amended it slightly. A little bit of poetic license with 'me and you' instead of 'you and I', but hey :P

I'll read and write feedback on other pieces after Monday; at the moment I'm cramming a load of creative writing in for Monday as it's assessed. Some feedback from you folks would be useful actually, in light of this.


The Showdown

The moment is now,
it's just me and you.
The ultimate face off,
With so much to lose

You stare me down,
if looks could kill.
I coldly stare back,
It's part of the thrill.

You reach for your holster,
Perspiration forms on the lips,
But I am much quicker,
Your defiance suddenly dips,

My bullet leaves the chamber,
spinning, spiralling,
extending my insult
to you.

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mitu123

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#8 mitu123
Member since 2006 • 155290 Posts

About time this thread gets made here!

Only write fiction, short stories, novellas, novels and write and read the following:

Comedy

Action

Adventure

Sci-fi

Fantasy

Crime

Thriller

Drama

Horror

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DarthJohnova

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#9 DarthJohnova
Member since 2010 • 4599 Posts

About time this thread gets made here!

Only write fiction, short stories, novellas, novels and write and read the following:

Comedy

Action

Adventure

Sci-fi

Fantasy

Crime

Thriller

Drama

Horror

mitu123
Get sharing, yo'. It'd be nice to see what you've written :)
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funsohng

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#10 funsohng
Member since 2005 • 29976 Posts
Hi guyz I need help with this novel I'm thinking of writing. Help.
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mitu123

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#11 mitu123
Member since 2006 • 155290 Posts

[QUOTE="mitu123"]

About time this thread gets made here!

Only write fiction, short stories, novellas, novels and write and read the following:

Comedy

Action

Adventure

Sci-fi

Fantasy

Crime

Thriller

Drama

Horror

DarthJohnova

Get sharing, yo'. It'd be nice to see what you've written :)

I have the 1st Chapter of Conflicted available right now.

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Badosh

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#12 Badosh
Member since 2011 • 12774 Posts
I would post of my poetry, but meh.
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funsohng

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#13 funsohng
Member since 2005 • 29976 Posts

[QUOTE="DarthJohnova"][QUOTE="mitu123"]

About time this thread gets made here!

Only write fiction, short stories, novellas, novels and write and read the following:

Comedy

Action

Adventure

Sci-fi

Fantasy

Crime

Thriller

Drama

Horror

mitu123

Get sharing, yo'. It'd be nice to see what you've written :)

I have the 1st Chapter of Conflicted available right now.

Link doesn't work
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DarkLink77

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#14 DarkLink77
Member since 2004 • 32731 Posts

The only things I have done are pretty long. :P

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mitu123

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#15 mitu123
Member since 2006 • 155290 Posts

[QUOTE="mitu123"]

[QUOTE="DarthJohnova"] Get sharing, yo'. It'd be nice to see what you've written :)funsohng

I have the 1st Chapter of Conflicted available right now.

Link doesn't work

After several edits I need to find another way to upload besides the usual separate pic per page.

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Minishdriveby

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#16 Minishdriveby
Member since 2006 • 10519 Posts

[QUOTE="funsohng"][QUOTE="mitu123"] I have the 1st Chapter of Conflicted available right now.

mitu123

Link doesn't work

Weird, try this link.

You have to just copy and paste the url. Trying to make a link screws it up for some reason. I had the same problem.
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mitu123

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#17 mitu123
Member since 2006 • 155290 Posts

[QUOTE="mitu123"]

[QUOTE="funsohng"] Link doesn't workMinishdriveby

Weird, try this link.

You have to just copy and paste the url. Trying to make a link screws it up for some reason. I had the same problem.

Like this?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1d0EEK3dblacXOhB7ykYgBklQ7GP_qRqN48cxmBaeHgk/edit

Oh snap it works now, anyone can click it now!

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AznbkdX

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#18 AznbkdX
Member since 2012 • 4284 Posts

Its been such a long time since I wrote any poems or stories :/. The only things I ever write nowadays are research papers.

Still though, would love to read or critique any if you want!

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ArisShadows

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#19 ArisShadows
Member since 2004 • 22784 Posts
I did poetry back in the day. I like writing in general. I did alot of text based roleplays, so I think I quite good in the writing department, simply from that alone. I plan to do a book one of these day.
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Eponique

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#20 Eponique
Member since 2007 • 17918 Posts
[QUOTE="funsohng"]Hi guyz I need help with this novel I'm thinking of writing. Help.

No.
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funsohng

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#21 funsohng
Member since 2005 • 29976 Posts
[QUOTE="Eponique"][QUOTE="funsohng"]Hi guyz I need help with this novel I'm thinking of writing. Help.

No.

You make me sad Korean.
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Eponique

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#22 Eponique
Member since 2007 • 17918 Posts

[QUOTE="Eponique"][QUOTE="funsohng"]Hi guyz I need help with this novel I'm thinking of writing. Help.funsohng
No.

You make me sad Korean.

.

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funsohng

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#23 funsohng
Member since 2005 • 29976 Posts

[QUOTE="funsohng"][QUOTE="Eponique"] No.Eponique

You make me sad Korean.

.

We call him fvck pig in South Korea.
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DarkLink77

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#24 DarkLink77
Member since 2004 • 32731 Posts
[QUOTE="funsohng"]Hi guyz I need help with this novel I'm thinking of writing. Help.

Shoot.
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funsohng

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#25 funsohng
Member since 2005 • 29976 Posts
[QUOTE="DarkLink77"][QUOTE="funsohng"]Hi guyz I need help with this novel I'm thinking of writing. Help.

Shoot.

Eff you amurikan
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Minishdriveby

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#26 Minishdriveby
Member since 2006 • 10519 Posts
[QUOTE="funsohng"][QUOTE="DarkLink77"][QUOTE="funsohng"]Hi guyz I need help with this novel I'm thinking of writing. Help.

Shoot.

Eff you amurikan

Good title. What's it about?
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Eponique

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#27 Eponique
Member since 2007 • 17918 Posts

We call him fvck pig in South Korea.funsohng
We call him Dear Leader in Canada. How's South Korea treating ya by the way? I heard there's an election going on there. Maybe this is your chance to oust your dictator Kim Jong Un. :p

[QUOTE="funsohng"]Eff you amurikanMinishdriveby

Good title. What's it about?

I would help write this book

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mmmwksil

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#28 mmmwksil
Member since 2003 • 16423 Posts

I write. Plenty.

There's nothing in the world that brings me more joy.

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DarthJohnova

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#29 DarthJohnova
Member since 2010 • 4599 Posts

I write. Plenty.

There's nothing in the world that brings me more joy.

mmmwksil
Do you fancy sharing some material? Btw those who have submitted stuff thus far, I will read and comment on them in the next week or so; I'm doing an an assignment at the moment.
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mitu123

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#30 mitu123
Member since 2006 • 155290 Posts

[QUOTE="mmmwksil"]

I write. Plenty.

There's nothing in the world that brings me more joy.

DarthJohnova

Do you fancy sharing some material? Btw those who have submitted stuff thus far, I will read and comment on them in the next week or so; I'm doing an an assignment at the moment.

Do mine 1st after the assignment, it's just one chapter!

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DarthJohnova

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#31 DarthJohnova
Member since 2010 • 4599 Posts

[QUOTE="DarthJohnova"][QUOTE="mmmwksil"]

I write. Plenty.

There's nothing in the world that brings me more joy.

mitu123

Do you fancy sharing some material? Btw those who have submitted stuff thus far, I will read and comment on them in the next week or so; I'm doing an an assignment at the moment.

Do mine 1st after the assignment, it's just one chapter!

Will do :)
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funsohng

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#32 funsohng
Member since 2005 • 29976 Posts

[QUOTE="funsohng"] We call him fvck pig in South Korea.Eponique

We call him Dear Leader in Canada. How's South Korea treating ya by the way? I heard there's an election going on there. Maybe this is your chance to oust your dictator Kim Jong Un. :p

Actually, we have our own dictator running for presidency. She's the daughter of the worst dictator in South Korea, and right now, the election heat is crazy. A lot of people actually are voting for her (it's 50/50 split right now) and a lot of people loathe her at the same time. The divide is monumental. Korean politics have been more dramatic than any movie or TV show in recent memory. Think of it like this: there has been a Watergate-calibre scandal in every single week for last few months. Those that are voting for the right wing thinks they are holy warriors against Communism. Those that are voting for the left think they are freedom fighters against dictatorial oppressors.
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funsohng

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#33 funsohng
Member since 2005 • 29976 Posts

[QUOTE="Minishdriveby"][QUOTE="funsohng"]Eff you amurikanEponique

Good title. What's it about?

I would help write this book

Oh wait, I thought DarkLink told me to get lost with his "shoot" comment -_-
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mmmwksil

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#34 mmmwksil
Member since 2003 • 16423 Posts

[QUOTE="mmmwksil"]

I write. Plenty.

There's nothing in the world that brings me more joy.

DarthJohnova

Do you fancy sharing some material?

Any and everything I write I post here. Feel free to browse at your convenience.

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Eponique

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#35 Eponique
Member since 2007 • 17918 Posts

[QUOTE="Eponique"]

[QUOTE="funsohng"] We call him fvck pig in South Korea.funsohng

We call him Dear Leader in Canada. How's South Korea treating ya by the way? I heard there's an election going on there. Maybe this is your chance to oust your dictator Kim Jong Un. :p

Actually, we have our own dictator running for presidency. She's the daughter of the worst dictator in South Korea, and right now, the election heat is crazy. A lot of people actually are voting for her (it's 50/50 split right now) and a lot of people loathe her at the same time. The divide is monumental. Korean politics have been more dramatic than any movie or TV show in recent memory. Think of it like this: there has been a Watergate-calibre scandal in every single week for last few months. Those that are voting for the right wing thinks they are holy warriors against Communism. Those that are voting for the left think they are freedom fighters against dictatorial oppressors.

I looked it up a bit. I don't know much but I don't think it's fair to judge people by their parents, especially if they've apologized for their actions (I'm not sure if it was sincere though). But I'm not Korean so I don't know. >.>

Moon Jae-In has a good platform, especially with raising taxes on the rich (because from what I heard, companies like Samsung have almost negative tax rates) but I read that chief of staff of a previous president that committed suicide after people caught wind of his corruption. Sounds like you guys are in a pickle.

Canada isn't much better though since Harper, Mulcair, Rae, Trudeau and Garneau are all terrible. I'm actually thinking of voting May lol. McGuinty ruined Ontario and Hudak and his anti-union, anti-worker's rights and pro-privitization mantra are gaining traction. I thought Canada would be above "teh socialism" scare mongering of the US, but clearly we aren't since Horwarth can't seem to get enough votes, despite having a good platform and being an excellent leader. Politics suck all over the world :( At least Rob Ford got kicked out though. Every cloud has a silver lining.

/politics thread

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DarkLink77

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#36 DarkLink77
Member since 2004 • 32731 Posts
[QUOTE="Eponique"]

[QUOTE="Minishdriveby"]

Good title. What's it about?funsohng

I would help write this book

Oh wait, I thought DarkLink told me to get lost with his "shoot" comment -_-

No. You basically said, "I need help." "Shoot" means ask me questions.
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turtlethetaffer

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#37 turtlethetaffer
Member since 2009 • 18973 Posts
[QUOTE="mmmwksil"]

I write. Plenty.

There's nothing in the world that brings me more joy.

DarthJohnova

Do you fancy sharing some material? Btw those who have submitted stuff thus far, I will read and comment on them in the next week or so; I'm doing an an assignment at the moment.

Just so you know mine is like a ten page short story so if you need a quick read it's like the third psot in the thread.

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AznbkdX

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#38 AznbkdX
Member since 2012 • 4284 Posts

Been pretty busy lately.

Sry chaz, only read like a few pages of your story. Will get on it soon though!

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funsohng

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#39 funsohng
Member since 2005 • 29976 Posts
[QUOTE="funsohng"][QUOTE="Eponique"] I would help write this bookDarkLink77
Oh wait, I thought DarkLink told me to get lost with his "shoot" comment -_-

No. You basically said, "I need help." "Shoot" means ask me questions.

Yes I do know that For some reason I thought you were saying it like "shoot, go away" =P
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funsohng

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#40 funsohng
Member since 2005 • 29976 Posts

[QUOTE="funsohng"][QUOTE="Eponique"] We call him Dear Leader in Canada. How's South Korea treating ya by the way? I heard there's an election going on there. Maybe this is your chance to oust your dictator Kim Jong Un. :p

Eponique

Actually, we have our own dictator running for presidency. She's the daughter of the worst dictator in South Korea, and right now, the election heat is crazy. A lot of people actually are voting for her (it's 50/50 split right now) and a lot of people loathe her at the same time. The divide is monumental. Korean politics have been more dramatic than any movie or TV show in recent memory. Think of it like this: there has been a Watergate-calibre scandal in every single week for last few months. Those that are voting for the right wing thinks they are holy warriors against Communism. Those that are voting for the left think they are freedom fighters against dictatorial oppressors.

I looked it up a bit. I don't know much but I don't think it's fair to judge people by their parents, especially if they've apologized for their actions (I'm not sure if it was sincere though). But I'm not Korean so I don't know. >.>

Moon Jae-In has a good platform, especially with raising taxes on the rich (because from what I heard, companies like Samsung have almost negative tax rates) but I read that chief of staff of a previous president that committed suicide after people caught wind of his corruption. Sounds like you guys are in a pickle.

Canada isn't much better though since Harper, Mulcair, Rae, Trudeau and Garneau are all terrible. I'm actually thinking of voting May lol. McGuinty ruined Ontario and Hudak and his anti-union, anti-worker's rights and pro-privitization mantra are gaining traction. I thought Canada would be above "teh socialism" scare mongering of the US, but clearly we aren't since Horwarth can't seem to get enough votes, despite having a good platform and being an excellent leader. Politics suck all over the world :( At least Rob Ford got kicked out though. Every cloud has a silver lining.

/politics thread

Actually the corruption charges were so forced upon. Also, it wasn't him, but more with his close advisers. And no corruption for Moon Jae-In whatsoever. And the apologies for our newly elected president (yes she just won)..... let's just say she hasn't done anything beyond words to remedy what has been done (no money returned, done any legislation to remember those who were killed by her father, etc), and what has been done is just massive. Moreover, her support comes from the people who sees her father in her. Whether or not she is truly sincere of her apology (which she isn't), the bigger problem is Korea just wants someone who is from that dictatorial regime. It just bad. BUT, no more political talks. I have lost hope in East Asia. The more I think of it, the more I go mad. /politics thread for real
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AznbkdX

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#41 AznbkdX
Member since 2012 • 4284 Posts
[QUOTE="Eponique"]

[QUOTE="funsohng"][QUOTE="Eponique"] We call him Dear Leader in Canada. How's South Korea treating ya by the way? I heard there's an election going on there. Maybe this is your chance to oust your dictator Kim Jong Un. :p

funsohng

Actually, we have our own dictator running for presidency. She's the daughter of the worst dictator in South Korea, and right now, the election heat is crazy. A lot of people actually are voting for her (it's 50/50 split right now) and a lot of people loathe her at the same time. The divide is monumental. Korean politics have been more dramatic than any movie or TV show in recent memory. Think of it like this: there has been a Watergate-calibre scandal in every single week for last few months. Those that are voting for the right wing thinks they are holy warriors against Communism. Those that are voting for the left think they are freedom fighters against dictatorial oppressors.

I looked it up a bit. I don't know much but I don't think it's fair to judge people by their parents, especially if they've apologized for their actions (I'm not sure if it was sincere though). But I'm not Korean so I don't know. >.>

Moon Jae-In has a good platform, especially with raising taxes on the rich (because from what I heard, companies like Samsung have almost negative tax rates) but I read that chief of staff of a previous president that committed suicide after people caught wind of his corruption. Sounds like you guys are in a pickle.

Canada isn't much better though since Harper, Mulcair, Rae, Trudeau and Garneau are all terrible. I'm actually thinking of voting May lol. McGuinty ruined Ontario and Hudak and his anti-union, anti-worker's rights and pro-privitization mantra are gaining traction. I thought Canada would be above "teh socialism" scare mongering of the US, but clearly we aren't since Horwarth can't seem to get enough votes, despite having a good platform and being an excellent leader. Politics suck all over the world :( At least Rob Ford got kicked out though. Every cloud has a silver lining.

/politics thread

Actually the corruption charges were so forced upon. Also, it wasn't him, but more with his close advisers. And no corruption for Moon Jae-In whatsoever. And the apologies for our newly elected president (yes she just won)..... let's just say she hasn't done anything beyond words to remedy what has been done (no money returned, done any legislation to remember those who were killed by her father, etc), and what has been done is just massive. Moreover, her support comes from the people who sees her father in her. Whether or not she is truly sincere of her apology (which she isn't), the bigger problem is Korea just wants someone who is from that dictatorial regime. It just bad. BUT, no more political talks. I have lost hope in East Asia. The more I think of it, the more I go mad. /politics thread for real

Tbh in all my time there I rarely followed any of the politics. I knew there was issues but the whole living there fully endorsed aside from our water bill made things a whole lot easier to forget haha. 

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personeyperson

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#42 personeyperson
Member since 2009 • 4362 Posts
I got bored one day and decided to write a book. After a couple months I'm only 108 pages into in on Microsoft Word, which is like 180 something pages in regular novel form. :P
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AznbkdX

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#43 AznbkdX
Member since 2012 • 4284 Posts

I got bored one day and decided to write a book. After a couple months I'm only 108 pages into in on Microsoft Word, which is like 180 something pages in regular novel form. :Ppersoneyperson

You should share an excerpt man. :)

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DarthJohnova

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#44 DarthJohnova
Member since 2010 • 4599 Posts

Well seeing as nobody else has bothered to take up the mantle, and I've finally finished my coursework, I'll start reading through people's stories and respond accordingly.

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DarthJohnova

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#45 DarthJohnova
Member since 2010 • 4599 Posts

That was a really cool poem Charizard. Maybe you should share more!

Anyways, here is a short horror story I wrote a few months ago. The Dollmaker

turtlethetaffer

Wow, I didn't expect that. I'm not good with graphic violence, so I was flinching a lot at that, haha. Interesting how at the beginning of the story, James is humanised; he is just a lonely guy doing his own thing, but by the end you realise he's a complete nutcase. I was rooting for James, hoping he wasn't going to get caught by the 'murderer', until that revelation :P

Nice story man; all the way through, I was wondering why he was trying to kill James, so it was good that that came full-circle by the end. Good job!

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DarthJohnova

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#46 DarthJohnova
Member since 2010 • 4599 Posts
I'm not a big writer. I wrote a creative piece for English at university and it got nominated to be in an end of the year magazine for the college though. Looking back on it, what I wrote was crap, but here it is if you would like to read it.

https://docs.google.com/open?id=0B5LxaM_GreInN1FTNXBkNjBXMUk

Minishdriveby
I'm interested; was this piece remotely autobiographical? It seems so specific with details and events that are being recounted. If not, where did it come from? :P It would be cool if you added to it and made the chapter breaks further away, because I was getting involved with the reading and was enjoying it, but the chapter breaks were a little disruptive. Perhaps less of them, or more content to fill each chapter would be great. Like I said, I'd like to hear how you came to writing it :)
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mitu123

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#47 mitu123
Member since 2006 • 155290 Posts

Well seeing as nobody else has bothered to take up the mantle, and I've finally finished my coursework, I'll start reading through people's stories and respond accordingly.

DarthJohnova

Woot!

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DarthJohnova

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#48 DarthJohnova
Member since 2010 • 4599 Posts

[QUOTE="DarthJohnova"]

Well seeing as nobody else has bothered to take up the mantle, and I've finally finished my coursework, I'll start reading through people's stories and respond accordingly.

mitu123

Woot!

Your link didn't appear to work Mitu, well the page wouldn't load :P
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mitu123

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#49 mitu123
Member since 2006 • 155290 Posts

[QUOTE="mitu123"]

[QUOTE="DarthJohnova"]

Well seeing as nobody else has bothered to take up the mantle, and I've finally finished my coursework, I'll start reading through people's stories and respond accordingly.

DarthJohnova

Woot!

Your link didn't appear to work Mitu, well the page wouldn't load :P

Weird, did you try this one?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1d0EEK3dblacXOhB7ykYgBklQ7GP_qRqN48cxmBaeHgk/edit

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DarthJohnova

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#50 DarthJohnova
Member since 2010 • 4599 Posts

[QUOTE="DarthJohnova"][QUOTE="mitu123"] Woot!

mitu123

Your link didn't appear to work Mitu, well the page wouldn't load :P

Weird, did you try this one?

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1d0EEK3dblacXOhB7ykYgBklQ7GP_qRqN48cxmBaeHgk/edit

I'll take a look now :)