What do I do with this girl and what can I do about myself?

I really like this girl. We've known each other for a very long time. Since 5th grade (now in college). She's best friends with my sister and that's how I got to know her.

Recently she started to cuddle with me in bed. Whenever she stays over at our house, she would sleep with me. I really felt someting and I started to have stronger feelings toward her. I talked to her in person about my feelings and she said she likes me too, but she doesn't want to be with me because she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. 

I can tell she really cares about me. After she said she didn't want to be with me I felt happy for some reason. Like, I was expecting this response. Whenever she cuddles with me I feel the pain afterwards. I tried to get over her, but the feelings keep coming back.

And even after I explaned myself, she still cuddles with me at night. The day after, I am so sad and in pain because I know she doesn't want to be with me.

I can't stop thinking about her. I just want to take care of her and just do things like, take her out to dinner, maybe drive to the beach, just the two of us. She is on my mind 24/7. I've liked her for a long time and she's had boyfriends while I was crushing on her. 

Then one night we were hanging with friends playing Truth or Dare and she said that she 'likes me more than anyone and she has always liked me.'

But she doesn't want to be with me. I've never had a girlfriend. The pain she is causing me is so great. 

wow, what a shameless cock-tease.

Next time she starts putting the moves on you, just go for it.  Don't start talking about your 'feelings'.  She will either respond or if she's genuinely not interested, she can push you away.  It sounds like she's playing games.

I don' t get why some girls want to play these kinds of mind games. Things are simple. If you like each other then pursue a romantic relationship without letting worries about ruining your friendship get in the way as in the end you can end up with sth really great and that' s worth the risk IMO.

If she still doesn' t want to seriously get involved with you, then just move on. Stop the cuddling and stuff. She' s having her fun and but it' s painful for you.

Surprised to see that the first two replies were actually quite sound advice. So what they said.

Take  and apply to head of girl with significant force.

Actually don't, you might get into trouble and ruin your chances.

Move on.  If she's making you feel like crap and pulling that stuff off in front of you, it's not someone you should want to be with.

Time will heal this easily. You have a whole life a head of you and a hugh world to be experienced. In time you probably won't even remember her. Never chase after love it will find you when it's ready.

I really like this girl. We've known each other for a very long time. Since 5th grade (now in college). She's best friends with my sister and that's how I got to know her.

Recently she started to cuddle with me in bed. Whenever she stays over at our house, she would sleep with me. I really felt someting and I started to have stronger feelings toward her. I talked to her in person about my feelings and she said she likes me too, but she doesn't want to be with me because she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. 

I can tell she really cares about me. After she said she didn't want to be with me I felt happy for some reason. Like, I was expecting this response. Whenever she cuddles with me I feel the pain afterwards. I tried to get over her, but the feelings keep coming back.

And even after I explaned myself, she still cuddles with me at night. The day after, I am so sad and in pain because I know she doesn't want to be with me.

I can't stop thinking about her. I just want to take care of her and just do things like, take her out to dinner, maybe drive to the beach, just the two of us. She is on my mind 24/7. I've liked her for a long time and she's had boyfriends while I was crushing on her. There were times when she was holding hands or kissing another guy right in front of me. And I know she's had sex before. The thought of her having sex with other men is so disgusting to me. It makes me sick inside. I want to rip my skin off. And this is probably stupid, but when she comments on how hot celebrities are and how she wants to be with them, kiss them and have sex with them makes me upset too. She does it right in front of me.

Then one night we were hanging with friends playing Truth or Dare and she said that she 'likes me more than anyone and she has always liked me.'

But she doesn't want to be with me. I've never had a girlfriend. The pain she is causing me is so great. 

PinkiePirate

  Oh sh*t Im dying,ol simp homotional drake listening ass n****  

 :(

[QUOTE="PinkiePirate"]

I really like this girl. We've known each other for a very long time. Since 5th grade (now in college). She's best friends with my sister and that's how I got to know her.

Recently she started to cuddle with me in bed. Whenever she stays over at our house, she would sleep with me. I really felt someting and I started to have stronger feelings toward her. I talked to her in person about my feelings and she said she likes me too, but she doesn't want to be with me because she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. 

I can tell she really cares about me. After she said she didn't want to be with me I felt happy for some reason. Like, I was expecting this response. Whenever she cuddles with me I feel the pain afterwards. I tried to get over her, but the feelings keep coming back.

And even after I explaned myself, she still cuddles with me at night. The day after, I am so sad and in pain because I know she doesn't want to be with me.

I can't stop thinking about her. I just want to take care of her and just do things like, take her out to dinner, maybe drive to the beach, just the two of us. She is on my mind 24/7. I've liked her for a long time and she's had boyfriends while I was crushing on her. There were times when she was holding hands or kissing another guy right in front of me. And I know she's had sex before. The thought of her having sex with other men is so disgusting to me. It makes me sick inside. I want to rip my skin off. And this is probably stupid, but when she comments on how hot celebrities are and how she wants to be with them, kiss them and have sex with them makes me upset too. She does it right in front of me.

Then one night we were hanging with friends playing Truth or Dare and she said that she 'likes me more than anyone and she has always liked me.'

But she doesn't want to be with me. I've never had a girlfriend. The pain she is causing me is so great. 

Bucked20

  Oh sh*t Im dying,ol simp homotional drake listening ass *****  

Seriously, just go for it next time you're cuddling. If she pushes you away, then you'll know if she's serious about the whole friendship thing.

Didn't you make a thread a while back asking us advice for the same story?chrisrooR

I feel tremendous amounts of pain every time I like someone.

She's playing games. Saying she likes you and cuddling you in bed yet wouldn't date you is much worse than saying "I'm not interested," because you still have that hope that she will date you. And to be honest, it sounds like she is just enjoying the attention you give her. It isn't fair on you. 

yea id jsut ask her to stop n get away if she isnt prepared to pretend she has a set and be an adult about what she's doing and what she wants.

tell her very plainly that this is messing with your emotions, you dont like it and either she can stop trying to get close or start trying to unbuckle ur pants.

its one or the other in this case and if she refuses to do either toss her out, she isnt worth the trouble.

fun fact TC my sister is the same way you dont want to hang around a girl like this unless she is prepared to have radical life reform, she wont be worht the investment of time and effort.

I really like this girl. We've known each other for a very long time. Since 5th grade (now in college). She's best friends with my sister and that's how I got to know her.

Recently she started to cuddle with me in bed. Whenever she stays over at our house, she would sleep with me. I really felt someting and I started to have stronger feelings toward her. I talked to her in person about my feelings and she said she likes me too, but she doesn't want to be with me because she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. 

I can tell she really cares about me. After she said she didn't want to be with me I felt happy for some reason. Like, I was expecting this response. Whenever she cuddles with me I feel the pain afterwards. I tried to get over her, but the feelings keep coming back.

And even after I explaned myself, she still cuddles with me at night. The day after, I am so sad and in pain because I know she doesn't want to be with me.

I can't stop thinking about her. I just want to take care of her and just do things like, take her out to dinner, maybe drive to the beach, just the two of us. She is on my mind 24/7. I've liked her for a long time and she's had boyfriends while I was crushing on her. There were times when she was holding hands or kissing another guy right in front of me. And I know she's had sex before. The thought of her having sex with other men is so disgusting to me. It makes me sick inside. I want to rip my skin off. And this is probably stupid, but when she comments on how hot celebrities are and how she wants to be with them, kiss them and have sex with them makes me upset too. She does it right in front of me.

Then one night we were hanging with friends playing Truth or Dare and she said that she 'likes me more than anyone and she has always liked me.'

But she doesn't want to be with me. I've never had a girlfriend. The pain she is causing me is so great. 

PinkiePirate

That right there, my friend, is where she showed her hand. The fact that she is doing stuff with you but then saying these kind of things means she has not considered how dangerous this is. She is either stupid or not worth your time if this is continuing.

You sound like you are being friendzoned into a black hole. I have been there before. I cut these people off, not exceptions. There is a point where a friendship cannot be salvaged and I think it is nigh.

Give er the old Licky Licky one two Sticky.

But seriously she sounds like shes toying with you and you sound obsessive next time your cuddling take her from behind then drop her like a sack of potatoes.... Bet you she'll come running back Women want what they can't have.

Move on. She's a waste of time if she only wants to play games. 

[QUOTE="Shottayouth13-"]Protip: a woman's action speak far louder than her words. Even though she might say she doesn't want to be with you, continue to persist. Kiss her when you're cuddling or something. Women like to be chased. She only told you that because she didn't want it to be too easy. She wants you to pursue her; it's all a game to them. Persistence is key. The signs are there, go for it.PinkiePirate

interesting. next time take it further go in for the kiss.

sounds like you're her fall back guy. she has you whipped and just goes to you for attention when she doesn't have another guy around.

you could:

1. accept your fate and go to sleep every night with blue balls and tears in your eyes. (I doub't you'll be able to keep this up for very long. eventually, the friendship will be ruined and you'll resent her for what she put you through.)
2. man up and kiss her. (best case scenario: yall start dating. worst case scenario: see #3. can't really go wrong with this option.)
3. get her out of your life. (the easiest solution to your problem; with some time away from her (no contact, calls, texts, facebook, etc.), she and the pain will fade away, and you'll move on with your life. and yet... you'll always wonder.. what could have been.. if you had only picked... #2..)

I'd pick #3, since she doesn't seem worth the trouble to me. but since you like her and all that, go for #2.

TC, stop being a pvssy and next time you're so-called "cuddling" try to put the moves on her (which she has prolly been waiting for since the first time she "cuddled" with you).  She probably prefers guys who aren't afraid to bone her and that's why she's friend zoning your a$s.  

When I was a teenager I passed up so much poon and felt a lot of heartache by doing exactly what your doing.  I never had the balls to make a move.  I literally was in the same position as you, cuddling with some chick, and I did NOTHING!  It would never happen now because I'm the man but dammit if I could go back in time I would have done something instead of being depressed about it like a little b!tch.

So I present you with a little tough love and again tell you to stop being a pvssy, and make your move.

Kiss her gently, if she resists then simply sleep with your back to her for the rest of the night, and don't sleep in the same bed again. Girls like that get off at teasing their friend's brothers, and her reaction to the kiss will tell whether she's a cocktease, or just playing hard-to-get.

Do not sleep with her, losing your virginity shouldn't be to someone you resent.

WTF did I just read if she not dtf why she getting in you bed and who talks during that time :lol:

She wants you to just fvck her. Just fvck her. No talking. Just be a man and fvck her. That's how women thinks

Your biggest mistake is telling her that you like her outright.  Women like men of mystery, they like challenges, and they like to be chased.  Being told straight out that you like her takes all the mystery and challenge out of it.  NEVER tell a woman that you like her straight out or be overly obvious about it (at least early on).

What to do?  She's playing you so play her back.  Don't avoid her but avoid situations where she can cuddle or be affectionate with you.  Still be polite and nice and say hello but introduce an element of distance, i.e., end conversations quicker than normal, don't keep steady eye contact, don't talk about her to anyone, avoid situations where she will be present, don't return texts and emails right away, but again, be nice and polite but not as available.

This next part is most important so pay attention: talk to other girls.  Don't do it in a way to make her jealous (because using one girl to make another girl jealous is dooshy) but just like the natural progression of life, you will meet and talk to a wide range of other people including girls.

A bit of distance and unavailability as well as talking to other girls serves two purposes: not only will she be back into the "does he like me or not" mode (thus reintroducing a bit of doubt and mystery in her mind which is exciting) but talking with other girls shows that you are a prize that isn't just coveted by her.  Trust me, one big thing women like in their men is knowing that he is a potential object of affection for tons of other girls out there and that you have options and didn't put all your chips on her number.

Honestly TC. You just sound scared to get rejected. Kiss her, if it doesn't go well, then whatever. At least you tried. You're clearly miserable over this in it's current state

[QUOTE="Shottayouth13-"]Protip: a woman's action speak far louder than her words. Even though she might say she doesn't want to be with you, continue to persist. Kiss her when you're cuddling or something. Women like to be chased. She only told you that because she didn't want it to be too easy. She wants you to pursue her; it's all a game to them. Persistence is key. The signs are there, go for it.PinkiePirate

When a girl gives you her hand like that there's lots of fun stuff you can do with it.  :twisted:

She just talked with  me.

She told me that sje noticed that I was sad after we cuddled and she felt that was kinda ruining our friendship. She told me that she wasn't playing games with me and she said she will stop doing it now