What do I do with this girl and what can I do about myself?

She just talked with  me.

 

She told me that sje noticed that I was sad after we cuddled and she felt that was kinda ruining our friendship. She told me that she wasn't playing games with me and she said she will stop doing it now

PinkiePirate

Is that a win TC?Canuck3000

She just talked with  me.

 

She told me that sje noticed that I was sad after we cuddled and she felt that was kinda ruining our friendship. She told me that she wasn't playing games with me and she said she will stop doing it now

PinkiePirate

i know you don't want to hear this but you need to let her go and find someone else. you need to stop hanging around her so much. i know it's going to be hard cause i just lost someone i love to and i can't stop thinking aobut her but man you will just ruin yourself if you keep clinging on to this girl who doesn't want you.

Did you tell her that?Canuck3000

[QUOTE="Canuck3000"]Did you tell her that?PinkiePirate

Install her as a urinal in the restroom of an S&M club. Remember to post a sign saying that the other urinals are out of order. 

wow, what a shameless cock-tease.

 

Next time she starts putting the moves on you, just go for it.  Don't start talking about your 'feelings'.  She will either respond or if she's genuinely not interested, she can push you away.  It sounds like she's playing games.

Audacitron

[QUOTE="Canuck3000"]Is that a win TC?PinkiePirate

Pvssy-whipped you are.Zeviander

OP got friend zoned even deeper. :( Explosive_Bagel

She likes the attention you give her. Forget about her, sounds like shes just using you to feel good about herself

I don't want to push her away, but I guess I need some space right now.

I don't want to push her away, but I guess I need some space right now.

PinkiePirate

Lol I guess you could call this "friend zone with benefits."

Lol I guess you could call this "friend zone with benefits."

PinkiePirate

That friend zone doesnt seem too bad to me.

Your biggest mistake is telling her that you like her outright.  Women like men of mystery, they like challenges, and they like to be chased.  Being told straight out that you like her takes all the mystery and challenge out of it.  NEVER tell a woman that you like her straight out or be overly obvious about it (at least early on).

What to do?  She's playing you so play her back.  Don't avoid her but avoid situations where she can cuddle or be affectionate with you.  Still be polite and nice and say hello but introduce an element of distance, i.e., end conversations quicker than normal, don't keep steady eye contact, don't talk about her to anyone, avoid situations where she will be present, don't return texts and emails right away, but again, be nice and polite but not as available.

This next part is most important so pay attention: talk to other girls.  Don't do it in a way to make her jealous (because using one girl to make another girl jealous is dooshy) but just like the natural progression of life, you will meet and talk to a wide range of other people including girls.

A bit of distance and unavailability as well as talking to other girls serves two purposes: not only will she be back into the "does he like me or not" mode (thus reintroducing a bit of doubt and mystery in her mind which is exciting) but talking with other girls shows that you are a prize that isn't just coveted by her.  Trust me, one big thing women like in their men is knowing that he is a potential object of affection for tons of other girls out there and that you have options and didn't put all your chips on her number.

GalvatronType_R

This guy gives serious advice.

fvcking respect.

[QUOTE="GalvatronType_R"]

Your biggest mistake is telling her that you like her outright.  Women like men of mystery, they like challenges, and they like to be chased.  Being told straight out that you like her takes all the mystery and challenge out of it.  NEVER tell a woman that you like her straight out or be overly obvious about it (at least early on).

What to do?  She's playing you so play her back.  Don't avoid her but avoid situations where she can cuddle or be affectionate with you.  Still be polite and nice and say hello but introduce an element of distance, i.e., end conversations quicker than normal, don't keep steady eye contact, don't talk about her to anyone, avoid situations where she will be present, don't return texts and emails right away, but again, be nice and polite but not as available.

This next part is most important so pay attention: talk to other girls.  Don't do it in a way to make her jealous (because using one girl to make another girl jealous is dooshy) but just like the natural progression of life, you will meet and talk to a wide range of other people including girls.

A bit of distance and unavailability as well as talking to other girls serves two purposes: not only will she be back into the "does he like me or not" mode (thus reintroducing a bit of doubt and mystery in her mind which is exciting) but talking with other girls shows that you are a prize that isn't just coveted by her.  Trust me, one big thing women like in their men is knowing that he is a potential object of affection for tons of other girls out there and that you have options and didn't put all your chips on her number.

TehFuneral

This guy gives serious advice.

fvcking respect.

Agreed.  And so the relationship advice seeking on OT continues.

wow, what a shameless cock-tease.

 

Next time she starts putting the moves on you, just go for it.  Don't start talking about your 'feelings'.  She will either respond or if she's genuinely not interested, she can push you away.  It sounds like she's playing games.

Audacitron

[QUOTE="PinkiePirate"]

I really like this girl. We've known each other for a very long time. Since 5th grade (now in college). She's best friends with my sister and that's how I got to know her.

Recently she started to cuddle with me in bed. Whenever she stays over at our house, she would sleep with me. I really felt someting and I started to have stronger feelings toward her. I talked to her in person about my feelings and she said she likes me too, but she doesn't want to be with me because she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. 

I can tell she really cares about me. After she said she didn't want to be with me I felt happy for some reason. Like, I was expecting this response. Whenever she cuddles with me I feel the pain afterwards. I tried to get over her, but the feelings keep coming back.

And even after I explaned myself, she still cuddles with me at night. The day after, I am so sad and in pain because I know she doesn't want to be with me.

I can't stop thinking about her. I just want to take care of her and just do things like, take her out to dinner, maybe drive to the beach, just the two of us. She is on my mind 24/7. I've liked her for a long time and she's had boyfriends while I was crushing on her. There were times when she was holding hands or kissing another guy right in front of me. And I know she's had sex before. The thought of her having sex with other men is so disgusting to me. It makes me sick inside. I want to rip my skin off. And this is probably stupid, but when she comments on how hot celebrities are and how she wants to be with them, kiss them and have sex with them makes me upset too. She does it right in front of me.

Then one night we were hanging with friends playing Truth or Dare and she said that she 'likes me more than anyone and she has always liked me.'

But she doesn't want to be with me. I've never had a girlfriend. The pain she is causing me is so great. 

IronBeaver

That right there, my friend, is where she showed her hand. The fact that she is doing stuff with you but then saying these kind of things means she has not considered how dangerous this is. She is either stupid or not worth your time if this is continuing.

You sound like you are being friendzoned into a black hole. I have been there before. I cut these people off, not exceptions. There is a point where a friendship cannot be salvaged and I think it is nigh.

AHAHAAHA into a black hole. i dunno why man oh god this has me LMFAO hard bro lol

[QUOTE="IronBeaver"]

[QUOTE="PinkiePirate"]

I really like this girl. We've known each other for a very long time. Since 5th grade (now in college). She's best friends with my sister and that's how I got to know her.

Recently she started to cuddle with me in bed. Whenever she stays over at our house, she would sleep with me. I really felt someting and I started to have stronger feelings toward her. I talked to her in person about my feelings and she said she likes me too, but she doesn't want to be with me because she doesn't want to ruin our friendship. 

I can tell she really cares about me. After she said she didn't want to be with me I felt happy for some reason. Like, I was expecting this response. Whenever she cuddles with me I feel the pain afterwards. I tried to get over her, but the feelings keep coming back.

And even after I explaned myself, she still cuddles with me at night. The day after, I am so sad and in pain because I know she doesn't want to be with me.

I can't stop thinking about her. I just want to take care of her and just do things like, take her out to dinner, maybe drive to the beach, just the two of us. She is on my mind 24/7. I've liked her for a long time and she's had boyfriends while I was crushing on her. There were times when she was holding hands or kissing another guy right in front of me. And I know she's had sex before. The thought of her having sex with other men is so disgusting to me. It makes me sick inside. I want to rip my skin off. And this is probably stupid, but when she comments on how hot celebrities are and how she wants to be with them, kiss them and have sex with them makes me upset too. She does it right in front of me.

Then one night we were hanging with friends playing Truth or Dare and she said that she 'likes me more than anyone and she has always liked me.'

But she doesn't want to be with me. I've never had a girlfriend. The pain she is causing me is so great. 

idunnodude

That right there, my friend, is where she showed her hand. The fact that she is doing stuff with you but then saying these kind of things means she has not considered how dangerous this is. She is either stupid or not worth your time if this is continuing.

You sound like you are being friendzoned into a black hole. I have been there before. I cut these people off, not exceptions. There is a point where a friendship cannot be salvaged and I think it is nigh.

AHAHAAHA into a black hole. i dunno why man oh god this has me LMFAO hard bro lol

Lay down an Ultimatum. You are either together, or no more of that cuddling s***. Seriously, she is eaither stupid or manupulative. A normal person wouldn't display those levels of affection then act like they don't want to be anything more than friends. If she is not interested, then move on.

:(

FuggaJ

haha classic!

Wow, I've read what's happened since I posted and all I can do is shake my head.

OP, you may be young and inexperienced but you have made so many errors and let yourself be so shamelessly used by this girl that you deserve all the "friend-zoning" and heartbreak that you are getting.

I could go through line by line what mistakes you've made but I don't feel like posting anything useful because you obviously won't follow it and will continue to fumble around.  But let me leave you with this: with the next woman, do the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you did with this woman (unless you enjoy being used and having women laugh behind your back because you're not an alpha and let her trample all over you).

Wow, I've read what's happened since I posted and all I can do is shake my head.

OP, you may be young and inexperienced but you have made so many errors and let yourself be so shamelessly used by this girl that you deserve all the "friend-zoning" and heartbreak that you are getting.

I could go through line by line what mistakes you've made but I don't feel like posting anything useful because you obviously won't follow it and will continue to fumble around.  But let me leave you with this: with the next woman, do the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you did with this woman (unless you enjoy being used and having women laugh behind your back because you're not an alpha and let her trample all over you).

GalvatronType_R

Wow, I've read what's happened since I posted and all I can do is shake my head.

OP, you may be young and inexperienced but you have made so many errors and let yourself be so shamelessly used by this girl that you deserve all the "friend-zoning" and heartbreak that you are getting.

I could go through line by line what mistakes you've made but I don't feel like posting anything useful because you obviously won't follow it and will continue to fumble around.  But let me leave you with this: with the next woman, do the EXACT OPPOSITE of what you did with this woman (unless you enjoy being used and having women laugh behind your back because you're not an alpha and let her trample all over you).

GalvatronType_R