Is there anything worse than this?

Is there anything worse than loneliness? Is there anything worse than never being loved? Is there anything worse than there being no one who'd miss you if you were gone?

Taylor Swift should hire you.

Depression hurts, Cymbalta can help.

nope, that's rock bottom.

I've been prescribed Cymbalta in the past, but won't take it because of its possible side effects, one of which is temporary blindness. Prescription psychological medications are dangerous.

What is a person to do when they can't ascend from such a state?

If you survive long enough and maintain a mode of existence that is characterized by self-reflection and awareness of one's struggle, things could really change. And if they didn't you will end up better off either way so its worth a try.

Intangible results mean nothing.

My life is full of empty promises and broken dreams......

Feeling cluster phobic outside

It certainly beats whining about it in an online forum.

I think the whole situation you find yourself in has to do with who you are as a person and your relation to the outside world too. If you succeed in working those two things out you may have a chance of a fulfilling life, no matter what that will turn out to be. Don't desire what others have or what they deem desirable and advantageous. Not only you're apparently unable to possess it but you may also be cut out for something else; something that may be superior to the ghosts you're chasing right now.

This has nothing to do with me as a person, because the shunning I am subjected to occurs before anyone even gets to know me; I'm not even afforded a chance. What does a girl mean-mugging me when I smile at her have to do with me as a person? Nothing. What does someone staring at me while I'm out in public and not doing anything out of the ordinary have to do with me as a person? Nothing. You've seen me in my videos. What exactly is wrong with me that this keeps happening to me?

At this point the only thing worse is being dead. So go out there and live a little and you will inevitably meet people and then you will not be alone.

You come off as weird. And that is entirely of your own doing. Don't worry, BRHD, GameSpot still loves you.

What makes you say that? How do you KNOW I come off as weird? Have you ever seen me in person? Do I come off as weird here?

In your videos, which I'm ashamed to say I've watched, you come off weird. Even on the forums you come off as weird.

You asked the question, Brosef Stalin. Don't get snippy with me for answering.

How exactly do I come off weird in the videos? Please be specific.

1) Stop using the word adjective. It's annoying. You've said it damn near 10 times and I can't help but want to smack you. You're talking like you're reading. No one wants to feel like they're listening to a prepared speech.

2) If you're not reading from something prepared then maybe you need to take a cue from many, many popular Youtubers and TAKE YOURSELF OUT OF THE VIDEOS. You keep squinting at me as if you're looking for some way to kill me. Your voice isn't terribly annoying but your demeanor is.

3) What's with the live retcon of BLOATED? If it doesn't describe how you feel about the movie, take it the **** out. No one wants to listen to you correct something you've already listed. That's like...15 seconds you just wasted right there.

You mention a couple of names throughout the video which for some reason I couldn't hear clearly. The only thing that drives me crazy about videos is when somebody isn't clear. Whenever you say a complex name you should spell it out in the video so people can visualize it.

And finally, The Blue Rambler is a horrible name. If you want people to hear you out, you don't want them to think you're rambling.

I wanted attention once. So I squatted in the middle of a busy intersection, pulled my pants down, and let the sweet brown release onto the pavement. I wasn't lonely anymore. The boys in blue kept me company for many hours. And the guys in the ward were really nice to me.

Some of these criticisms are in regard to technical aspects of my presentation and not in regard to my sociability (e.g. using the word "adjective," seeming as if I'm reading from a teleprompter, etc); these criticisms I don't care for. However, what do you mean my demeanor is annoying? My facial expressions? Also, what do you mean my voice isn't "terribly annoying?" Are you implying that it's annoying to a lesser extent?

I'm giving you constructive criticism, BRHD. I'm a fairly avid watcher of Youtube channels. I'm TELLING YOU what the issues are with your video i.e. what makes me NOT want to watch you anymore. You'd do well to listen.

Your demeanor is influenced by the words you use and how you present them. So if using the word adjective sounds annoying to me, what do you think I'm going to think of you? If your reading is stiff and prepared, what is that going to do to my opinion of you?

If you want to read from a script, take yourself out of the videos. That way no one has to see you reading. Then you can also edit it and add music, videos, etc.

There's a reason we have radio hosts and TV hosts. Very rarely can someone do both. You seem to fall into the former category.

1. I do prepare a script, but I don't read from it as I'm recording; I recite it (non-verbatim) from memory.

2. Just come out and say it. You think I'm ugly and subsequently don't want to SEE me in the videos.

3. Screw you and your opinion. Accept me for who I am or don't. Why don't you try making a YouTube video? Let's see how well you do.

1) Then maybe you'd actually benefit from doing it in such a way that you can read something sort of prepared but also have the capability to edit it out if it sounds too stuffy.

2) If I thought you were ugly I'd say so.

3) So how do you intend to get better if you don't accept the opinions of others? That's entirely the wrong attitude to have. You should be trying to win me over, not make me not want to watch you. I know where my strengths lie and they're not in reciting words. I do, however, know what I like to watch and listen to and what I don't. Your videos aren't something I would subscribe to.

You can do whatever you want, BRHD. You sound like a little girl throwing a temper tantrum. If you actually want to improve you should grow up and listen. Accept the fact that EVERYONE creates things that aren't so good and eventually, if they have the patience for it, get better at it.

@airshocker:

I'm shocked that you would blow such hot air, AirShocker.

You're trying to be clever but it's not working. Have fun with your Youtube channel. When you actually want to get better you can always PM me.

I hope thegerg doesn't see this thread

Such an amazing BluRayHiDef thread.

Being lonely is great. You get to watch all the porn you want.

I want to talk about another topic, in addition to this one, but don't want to make another thread. Anyhow, does anyone remember their first sex partner? If so, do you remember them fondly? Are you still in touch with them?

So, did you went back to the doctor for a different prescription or did you just decided to not take medication against your doctor's recommendation?

I don't remember my first sex partner because I never had one.

And you're lazy. Make another thread.

Why ask him for his opinion if you're going to completely disregard it and insult him for it? He was trying to help you, the least you could do is thank him and consider his points.

You clearly have issues that you need to get through one way or another. If an anti anxiety/depression medication can help you, I'd say at least try it.

If temporary blindness is the worst side-effect, then you really don't have anything to lose by trying it. Chances are that you won't experience any of the side effects anyway.

I don't trust these medications. Also, I believe that psychological illnesses are best treated through therapy and self-improvement methods, as Gaza suggested - not by altering the chemistry of the brain, the most intimate part of a person.

Yes, I remember her.

No, not fondly.

No, not in touch with her.

Self pity.

AIDS? Pancreatic Cancer? Rape? Murder?

I remember mine, with mixed feelings. I wish I could stop thinking about her, but I can't. Even though I've been with one other woman since I last saw her, I can't help but think about her. Heck, I barely think about the other woman. Also, this song is amazing.

Who gives a shit if no one will miss me? I'll be DEAD. It certainly wont matter to me.

Craawwwwlliiiinnnggg innnnn myyyy skiiinnnnn..........

You seem like a nice enough guy BluRay and tbh I find your threads to be some of the more interesting ones on here. You don't come across as lonely or weird to me in your vids. Being alone sucks (when its all the time), but the only way to get around that is to get out there and meet people and plan things and go do things. The biggest solution is to get a woman in your life, or man although you don't come across as gay. The only criticism I have is that you do seem like you could lighten up a lil bit, crack some joke sin your vids, and posts~

You're not gunna meet a a lot of new people or women making movie reviews in your apartment.

Your avatar makes a lot of sense now~

I appreciate your post; thanks for your insight. On another note, are you a lurker? I've never seen you before.

Yeah its a lil weird that I only have like 400 posts considering I joined a DECADE ago. lol I didn't join for the forums though, and just started to actually use them when GT's forums got changed and went to hell.

It's gotta be pretty weird to feel as lonely as you do living where you live. Anyways, like I said, you are clearly a smart and decent looking guy, get out there and meet people. If you have even one friend that you can drag out with you to meet new people that would help a lot. It's tough sometimes to meet new people but there are places that you can do it without it being weird. Join a local amateur baseball team, Get a plot at a community garden and start talking with the people there. Shit like that.

I didn't think you came off as weird in the video, although I watched the Hercules one and not the Spiderman one. You actually seem like a decently nice guy. Sorry for the surprise, I'm not entirely sure why I thought you wouldn't be.

I genuinely hope your loneliness situation works out for you, I was there for a long time. No, it's not worse than the Holocaust, but it's awful all the same.

How did you end your loneliness and what was its cause?

Losing a limb is worse. I would rather spend my whole life alone and relish in that than lose a limb.

I'd go for a walk if I were you to get out of my depression. Hang out long enough in a park, beach etc. and maybe you'll meet somebody who wants to be your friend or wants a conversation. You'll also get some fresh air, maybe not in NY, and sunlight at least. A later step, maybe volunteer at some place, if hanging out outside isn't doing it for you.

Gaming wise, you are pretty much the only thing I feel compelled to watch on youtube--so I feel you do a good job. I like your occasional eccentricities (shocker's weirdness) I find it gives you personality.

I think Airshocker expects too much from you if he thinks you should be perfect since you are still early on, and with more experience I assume you will continue to improve. I have seen a lot worse presenters than you. Airshocker may have a point you don't have Angry Joe numbers. But maybe if luck is on your side you can still grow.

There are probably a bunch of ways for you to improve, including taking a couple of journalism classes, or a what's it called, Multi Media diploma or something.

O God, I so should've stayed outta this thread . . .

Can't say.......never had that problem.

You watch my gaming videos? Which ones? Also, please provide an example of my occasional eccentricities.

I think the biggest cause for me was that I was bullied by my 'best friend' for several years. By the time that stopped, I guess I had trust issues or something, and felt like I couldn't talk to others about personal matters. I still can't, to an extent. High school wasn't the best either, most people seemed to enjoy talking to me in class but wouldn't acknowledge me outside of school. I never really made new friends and felt like a disappointment to my parents, so I just kept it all bottled up.

My solution was that I went to university and somehow made friends with incredibly social people that made me leave my room, not to mention I found people that had the same interests as me. Quite honestly, I got really lucky.