Is there anything worse than this?

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#51 Edited by strategyfn (417 posts) -

^ You go on in your Infamous walk through about being, I can't even spell the word, Mesantropist, that you don't like the human species. Which seemed mildly odd. But I still enjoyed it as it gave you personality and you weren't just some random boring guy with their typical comment. There may have been another time, but I forget.

I really enjoyed your Infamous Second Son 1st part walkthrough, that was the most enjoyable video of yours to watch for me and I sat through the whole thing. Not far behind I liked your Battlefield multiplayer video. Also watched some of your Batman Origin walkthrough.

I don't have that much time to watch since I'm doing my own gaming, but I enjoyed those first 2, Infamous was awesome. Origins was also good.

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#52 Edited by indzman (27377 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef said:

Is there anything worse than loneliness? Is there anything worse than never being loved? Is there anything worse than there being no one who'd miss you if you were gone?

Ehhh , learn to live alone and without love.I'm lonely too and never got love and i don't give a fvck. Don't be a whiny BRHD , man up, life not gonna end being lonely. Trust me many people are lonely and they do just fine.

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#53 Posted by BluRayHiDef (10839 posts) -

@strategyfn said:

^ You go on in your Infamous walk through about being, I can't even spell the word, Mesantropist, that you don't like the human species. Which seemed mildly odd. But I still enjoyed it as it gave you personality and you weren't just some random boring guy with their typical comment. There may have been another time, but I forget.

I really enjoyed your Infamous Second Son 1st part walkthrough, that was the most enjoyable video of yours to watch for me and I sat through the whole thing. Not far behind I liked your Battlefield multiplayer video. Also watched some of your Batman Origin walkthrough.

I don't have that much time to watch since I'm doing my own gaming, but I enjoyed those first 2, Infamous was awesome. Origins was also good.

I'm glad someone enjoyed my inFamous video. I was thinking of not bothering with it because no one left any comments, but I'll make another one tomorrow.

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#54 Edited by BluRayHiDef (10839 posts) -

@indzman said:

@BluRayHiDef said:

Is there anything worse than loneliness? Is there anything worse than never being loved? Is there anything worse than there being no one who'd miss you if you were gone?

Ehhh , learn to live alone and without love.I'm lonely too and never got love and i don't give a fvck. Don't be a whiny BRHD , man up, life not gonna end being lonely. Trust me many people are lonely and they do just fine.

How lonely are you? You literally have no friends/ girlfriend?

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#55 Edited by strategyfn (417 posts) -

I was going to leave a comment, but I decided not to bother. I gave a thumbs up though. I'll probably drop a comment tomorrow. Yeah, Infamous was great stuff.

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#56 Edited by indzman (27377 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef said:

@indzman said:

@BluRayHiDef said:

Is there anything worse than loneliness? Is there anything worse than never being loved? Is there anything worse than there being no one who'd miss you if you were gone?

Ehhh , learn to live alone and without love.I'm lonely too and never got love and i don't give a fvck. Don't be a whiny BRHD , man up, life not gonna end being lonely. Trust me many people are lonely and they do just fine.

How lonely are you? You literally have no friends/ girlfriend?

Got few freinds but no g.f. I go to movies alone most of the time , don't talk to anyone much at work or at gym , but in good relation with everyone. I keep to myself mostly , some say i'm lonely but i've got video games, need nothing else TBH :)

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#57 Posted by the_bi99man (11242 posts) -

Do you have ebola? Then no, it could be worse.

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#58 Edited by 4myAmuzumament (1791 posts) -
@BluRayHiDef said:

@4myAmuzumament said:

nope, that's rock bottom.

What is a person to do when they can't ascend from such a state?

If you can't push yourself out of there on your own, you're not ready to leave it and probably need to learn and experience more things in your loneliness. You gotta take time to find yourself and what you want and then go and get it. Being alone for a while isn't the absolute worst thing if you can make the best of it. Read an inspiring book or something. You're 25 and probably haven't hit your prime yet. If you can look at yourself and confidently say that your best days are not behind you, but ahead, that's already a step up from the bottom.

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#59 Posted by AutoPilotOn (8655 posts) -

Your only alone because you choose to be. Most people are friendly and if u at least make a attempt at friendship you will have it.

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#60 Posted by BluRayHiDef (10839 posts) -

@AutoPilotOn said:

Your only alone because you choose to be.

I'm sorry, but this is a completely false. You don't know the nonsense I have to deal with from strangers.

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#61 Edited by AutoPilotOn (8655 posts) -

No I don't believe it's false at all. I have anxiety around strangers so sometimes I choose not to go out. But when I am forced to I end up having a good time. Just have to get past that initial part. It takes work avoiding people is the easy way out.

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#62 Posted by Shmiity (6089 posts) -

Don't think about it so much man! I watched your video. You did fine. Don't dig yourself into these holes of depression. Making posts about it and people feeling bad for you/critiquing your character won't really help you. Why can't you just walk out your door and be confident? Be the coolest motherfucker on the block and own that shit.

And sidenote: You really want advice on your character from people on a gaming forum?

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#63 Edited by indzman (27377 posts) -

BRHD is a nice guy , his depression comes from not getting pvssy. Once he gets a steady g.f everything will be great in BRHD's life. Give it time BRHD :)

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#64 Edited by elkoldo (1775 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef:

I don't like to talk about it, but I, too, suffer from social anxiety / depression.And it all started when the girl whom I'd give an arm for, misjudged and hated me for....I don't what.Ever since that day weepings, nightmares sometimes, sleeplessness other times, exhaustion and a lot,lot more troubles have hunted me.I thought about throwing myself over the railway once.Never had the balls though.So, I'm more or less like you.

This line fron Joel is good relief,if you remember it once in a while : " And you, no matter what, keep finding something to fight for "

And this line from Ethan, is so true, so goddamn true, I believe in it as much as I believe in the sun revolving around the earth : "A moment,a breath, a blink of an eye, is enough to change the course of life." So let's just see if that moment finally shows up.

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#65 Posted by thereal25 (1363 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef said:

@GazaAli said:

@BluRayHiDef said:

@GazaAli said:

If you survive long enough and maintain a mode of existence that is characterized by self-reflection and awareness of one's struggle, things could really change. And if they didn't you will end up better off either way so its worth a try.

Intangible results mean nothing.

It certainly beats whining about it in an online forum.

I think the whole situation you find yourself in has to do with who you are as a person and your relation to the outside world too. If you succeed in working those two things out you may have a chance of a fulfilling life, no matter what that will turn out to be. Don't desire what others have or what they deem desirable and advantageous. Not only you're apparently unable to possess it but you may also be cut out for something else; something that may be superior to the ghosts you're chasing right now.

This has nothing to do with me as a person, because the shunning I am subjected to occurs before anyone even gets to know me; I'm not even afforded a chance. What does a girl mean-mugging me when I smile at her have to do with me as a person? Nothing. What does someone staring at me while I'm out in public and not doing anything out of the ordinary have to do with me as a person? Nothing. You've seen me in my videos. What exactly is wrong with me that this keeps happening to me?

You come across as an intelligent and thoughtful person. You're probably also quite sensitive and spiritual - in your own way.

But GazaAli may have a point. How do you KNOW that what others appear to have is what you truly want/need?

Also, I read those quotes you posted in your profile. You must understand, people do the best they know how to do.

Forgiveness is a very important spiritual concept.

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#66 Posted by indzman (27377 posts) -

@elkoldo said:

@BluRayHiDef:

I don't like to talk about it, but I, too, suffer from social anxiety / depression.And it all started when the girl whom I'd give an arm for, misjudged and hated me for....I don't what.Ever since that day weepings, nightmares sometimes, sleeplessness other times, exhaustion and a lot,lot more troubles have hunted me.I thought about throwing myself over the railway once.Never had the balls though.So, I'm more or less like you.

This line fron Joel is good relief,if you remember it once in a while : " And you, no matter what, keep finding something to fight for "

And this line from Ethan, is so true, so goddamn true, I believe in it as much as I believe in the sun revolving around the earth : "A moment,a breath, a blink of an eye, is enough to change the course of life." So let's just see if that moment finally shows up.

Off topic : Have you seen new Ellie screen from most probably Last of Us II ? Is it fake ???

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#68 Posted by elkoldo (1775 posts) -

@indzman: Both the artist and Druckmann have referred to it merely as fanart, so we can hope that it doesn't indicate Last of Us 2 !

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#69 Edited by Detroit222 (5371 posts) -

Start by treating yourself kindly and learning to love yourself. You must learn to be your own best friend. Peace follows. Took me a long time to learn that but I'm comfortable with me now.

Seeing a shrink might help. It did me.

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#70 Posted by jasean79 (2593 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef:

I don't know enough about you as a person (we all know our online personalities vary from our real life ones), mostly because I haven't been on this forum to get to that point, but I will try to offer my best advice.

I'm someone that's always been alone; mind you, that doesn't mean I've always been lonely. All through life I've always had a hard time making friends and keeping them. In the beginning it used to bother me, but I got used to actually being by myself. It's become so much a part of me that I don't even know how to make [close] friends with anyone outside my family. I have constant feelings of inadequacy, like I'm not into the same things as others my age - I don't drink, I don't go to bars/clubs, I pretty much hate sports, etc. I often think of myself as being a bore, but to whose standards?

What I've come to realize is that although I may only have one close friend (my wife), I'm okay with that. I stick to the things I enjoy and that are worthy of my time. I workout at the gym regularly, I play guitar daily, I game when I have the time. I feel that if people are meant to be and stay in your life, they will. No amount of extra effort is going to make them hang around; you are who you are, but be content with that. 'Know thyself'.

You seem like an intelligent guy from what I've seen of you post on this forum. I doubt you have any weird mental or physical abnormalities that would prevent you from meeting new people. It most likely is tied to your depression and how you perceive yourself overall. You said that people give you weird looks on the street, but maybe that's your perception and not actually the truth. When you're down, you tend to look at the world differently than those that are not. I don't know how severe you have it, but at least you are aware of it and you can take whatever necessary steps to improve it. I am with you on the whole taking drugs to get better bit. I believe that it can be obtained through other methods. Maybe talking to someone professionally will help? I've gone that route already and while they are expensive, yes, they do offer a different perspective on things. Especially since they have experience working with people in similar situations. You have options. You just have to choose the ones that work best for you.

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#71 Edited by AmazonTreeBoa (16745 posts) -

I don't know. I am not alone and I am missed when I am gone, so I can't relate. I am even less lonely now that I am a grandpa.

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#72 Posted by thegerg (18279 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef said:

@GazaAli said:

@BluRayHiDef said:

@GazaAli said:

If you survive long enough and maintain a mode of existence that is characterized by self-reflection and awareness of one's struggle, things could really change. And if they didn't you will end up better off either way so its worth a try.

Intangible results mean nothing.

It certainly beats whining about it in an online forum.

I think the whole situation you find yourself in has to do with who you are as a person and your relation to the outside world too. If you succeed in working those two things out you may have a chance of a fulfilling life, no matter what that will turn out to be. Don't desire what others have or what they deem desirable and advantageous. Not only you're apparently unable to possess it but you may also be cut out for something else; something that may be superior to the ghosts you're chasing right now.

This has nothing to do with me as a person, because the shunning I am subjected to occurs before anyone even gets to know me; I'm not even afforded a chance. What does a girl mean-mugging me when I smile at her have to do with me as a person? Nothing. What does someone staring at me while I'm out in public and not doing anything out of the ordinary have to do with me as a person? Nothing. You've seen me in my videos. What exactly is wrong with me that this keeps happening to me?

If this is an ongoing thing, maybe it is you as a person. Don't you think that is more likely than the rest of the world getting together and deciding to **** with you?

I'm just saying that you need to look at the common denominator in all of these encounters.

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#73 Posted by GazaAli (25216 posts) -

@thegerg said:

@BluRayHiDef said:

@GazaAli said:

@BluRayHiDef said:

@GazaAli said:

If you survive long enough and maintain a mode of existence that is characterized by self-reflection and awareness of one's struggle, things could really change. And if they didn't you will end up better off either way so its worth a try.

Intangible results mean nothing.

It certainly beats whining about it in an online forum.

I think the whole situation you find yourself in has to do with who you are as a person and your relation to the outside world too. If you succeed in working those two things out you may have a chance of a fulfilling life, no matter what that will turn out to be. Don't desire what others have or what they deem desirable and advantageous. Not only you're apparently unable to possess it but you may also be cut out for something else; something that may be superior to the ghosts you're chasing right now.

This has nothing to do with me as a person, because the shunning I am subjected to occurs before anyone even gets to know me; I'm not even afforded a chance. What does a girl mean-mugging me when I smile at her have to do with me as a person? Nothing. What does someone staring at me while I'm out in public and not doing anything out of the ordinary have to do with me as a person? Nothing. You've seen me in my videos. What exactly is wrong with me that this keeps happening to me?

If this is an ongoing thing, maybe it is you as a person. Don't you think that is more likely than the rest of the world getting together and deciding to **** with you?

I'm just saying that you need to look at the common denominator in all of these encounters.

Look everyone I'm agreeing with thegerg, its time to stone me in public.

I highly but not entirely agree with thegerg. It would be absurd to believe that the world is out to get you and that everybody is conspiring to alienate and marginalize you. However, it would also be unfair to you to assume that its all in your head and that nothing of what you're saying bears any truth to it. Its all in the eye of the beholder so its a matter of different perceptions of the same thing. As I told you earlier, you need to embark on a journey to acquire full self-consciousness and truly understand who and what you are, what is and is not compatible with your mode of existence. My own explanation of all of this is that your mode of existence is incompatible with the status quo and prevalent conceptions of what is right and wrong, what is virtuous and what is not, what is desirable and advantageous and what is not. Stop trying to force-fitting yourself to make it compatible with what most people normally desire and have, it didn't work and there's nothing suggesting that its going to change any time at all.

If you don't have the will to pursue this and the tenacity to stick to it and struggle against the tyranny of the majority and the stale status quo, then you have condemned yourself already to self-abolition and eternal immiseration.

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#74 Edited by jasean79 (2593 posts) -

@GazaAli said:

@thegerg said:

If you don't have the will to pursue this and the tenacity to stick to it and struggle against the tyranny of the majority and the stale status quo, then you have condemned yourself already to self-abolition and eternal immiseration.

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#75 Edited by GazaAli (25216 posts) -

@jasean79 said:

@GazaAli said:

If you don't have the will to pursue this and the tenacity to stick to it and struggle against the tyranny of the majority and the stale status quo, then you have condemned yourself already to self-abolition and eternal immiseration.

rofl

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#76 Posted by indzman (27377 posts) -

@elkoldo said:

@indzman: Both the artist and Druckmann have referred to it merely as fanart, so we can hope that it doesn't indicate Last of Us 2 !

Ahhh !

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#77 Posted by bowchicka07 (1104 posts) -

What you call lonely some people call independent. You look healthy, you're not fat or ugly and you sound somewhat intelligent so wtf is your problem?

You'll meet someone for you. I'm sure of it and the odds are in your favor.

“The sun shines not on us but in us.”

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#78 Edited by AFBrat77 (26275 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef said:

Is there anything worse than loneliness? Is there anything worse than never being loved? Is there anything worse than there being no one who'd miss you if you were gone?

Loneliness is never a problem if you learn to like or love yourself, treat yourself well and don't require anyone else to do whatever it is you want to do. Suprisingly, if you do that, other people will flock to you. So if its sex with someone else you want, don't even look for it. Just concentrate on yourself, the girls will then want your attention, and I do mean the hotties and girls who like you as you are. The kinds you want. Fact.

If people grasped this concept they would improve their lives tremendously. Take it from me, I'm 52 years old and I've gained quite a bit of wisdom.

You don't need drugs and you don't need to spend money on a shrink.....you need to grasp this concept and run with it.

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#79 Edited by AFBrat77 (26275 posts) -

@bowchicka07 said:

What you call lonely some people call independent. You look healthy, you're not fat or ugly and you sound somewhat intelligent so wtf is your problem?

You'll meet someone for you. I'm sure of it and the odds are in your favor.

“The sun shines not on us but in us.”

Lonely people are not independent. They are very dependent, that is the problem. Loners are independent, and they are happy that way. Loner is not a bad term.

See my post above.

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#80 Posted by Brain_Duster (473 posts) -

Your personality.

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#81 Posted by bowchicka07 (1104 posts) -

@AFBrat77 said:

@bowchicka07 said:

What you call lonely some people call independent. You look healthy, you're not fat or ugly and you sound somewhat intelligent so wtf is your problem?

You'll meet someone for you. I'm sure of it and the odds are in your favor.

“The sun shines not on us but in us.”

Lonely people are not independent. They are very dependent, that is the problem. Loners are independent, and they are happy that way. Loner is not a bad term.

See my post above.

I was under the impression that loners are lonely people. But yeah it makes sense. I guess if they were independent they wouldn't be lonely. Should have phrased that differently. Loners prefer to be alone while lonely people long to be not alone?

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#82 Posted by Mikey132 (5114 posts) -

Listen to the song "Change" by Blind Melon. It will cheer you up after it makes you feel down.

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#83 Edited by deactivated-583e460ca986b (7240 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef How old are you?

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#84 Posted by AFBrat77 (26275 posts) -

@bowchicka07 said:

@AFBrat77 said:

@bowchicka07 said:

What you call lonely some people call independent. You look healthy, you're not fat or ugly and you sound somewhat intelligent so wtf is your problem?

You'll meet someone for you. I'm sure of it and the odds are in your favor.

“The sun shines not on us but in us.”

Lonely people are not independent. They are very dependent, that is the problem. Loners are independent, and they are happy that way. Loner is not a bad term.

See my post above.

I was under the impression that loners are lonely people. But yeah it makes sense. I guess if they were independent they wouldn't be lonely. Should have phrased that differently. Loners prefer to be alone while lonely people long to be not alone?

exactly.

I should have said something else too, I'm not sure being a loner is always healthy, but they like themselves and enjoy there own company more than the company of others.

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#85 Posted by always_explicit (3379 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef said:

@strategyfn said:

Losing a limb is worse. I would rather spend my whole life alone and relish in that than lose a limb.

I'd go for a walk if I were you to get out of my depression. Hang out long enough in a park, beach etc. and maybe you'll meet somebody who wants to be your friend or wants a conversation. You'll also get some fresh air, maybe not in NY, and sunlight at least. A later step, maybe volunteer at some place, if hanging out outside isn't doing it for you.

Gaming wise, you are pretty much the only thing I feel compelled to watch on youtube--so I feel you do a good job. I like your occasional eccentricities (shocker's weirdness) I find it gives you personality.

I think Airshocker expects too much from you if he thinks you should be perfect since you are still early on, and with more experience I assume you will continue to improve. There are a lot worse presentors than you. Airshocker may have a point you don't have Angry Joe numbers. But maybe if luck is on your side you can still grow.

There are probably a bunch of ways for you to improve, including taking a couple of journalism classes, or a what's it called, Multi Media diploma or something.

O God, I so should've stayed outta this thread . . .

You watch my gaming videos? Which ones? Also, please provide an example of my occasional eccentricities.

Hey dude, I am gonna chime in on this one, as someone who likes you, likes your topics and likes you video's. My ONLY criticism of your personality and character is this overwhelming desire to analyse your own character. You seem very keen to almost "gather feedback, not just about your video's but your personality and attributes.

I often find one of the most likable characteristics about someone is their comfort with themselves. If I am with someone who is happy and content with themselves It makes me feel happy and content in their presence. I cant help but wonder if you carry the burden of these insecurities with you in real life as well as on these forums.

I used to go drinking alone quite frequently. I have been called sad for doing so but also found it extremely liberating. Its also surprising how many men and women I met by doing so. I am really into music so I just used to find a bar with live music and prop it up all night. Quite often a girl would notice me alone and ask me what I was doing, more often than not I went from being the weird guy alone at the bar. To the eccentric individual who didnt care what people thought.

Not suggesting you turn to booze, but find something you love an pursue it in a "social" environment. As someone who loves books games and movies, Its easy for me to pursue my hobbies and interests without ever leaving the comfort of my home, I imagine its perfectly possible for you to do the same. Just get out there dude. Dont be disheartened by the weird looks...I used to get them too at that jazz bar. Be less critical of yourself. Enjoy the fact that you are alive rather than why. If you came to the UK we would be friends.

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#86 Posted by Evil_Saluki (5217 posts) -

I'm not sure, isn't there that new film about some woman who just wants to be alone so she goes and wonders off into the desert.

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#87 Posted by turtlethetaffer (18583 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef: I remember the first person I ever nailed. she recently broke up with me for stupid reasons so no I am not in touch with her.

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#88 Posted by BluRayHiDef (10839 posts) -

@turtlethetaffer said:

@BluRayHiDef: I remember the first person I ever nailed. she recently broke up with me for stupid reasons so no I am not in touch with her.

Are you heartbroken over the break-up? How long were you guys dating?

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#89 Posted by Makhaidos (2162 posts) -

I'm pretty sure coughing Pepsi up into your nose is worse.

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#90 Posted by turtlethetaffer (18583 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef: Two and a half years. Not heartbroken so much as massively pissed because she gave me really shitty reasons. It's insulting.

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#91 Posted by CyberLips (1826 posts) -

I wasn't depressed enough already....

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#92 Posted by BluRayHiDef (10839 posts) -

@turtlethetaffer said:

@BluRayHiDef: Two and a half years. Not heartbroken so much as massively pissed because she gave me really shitty reasons. It's insulting.

I've heard that when petty/ stupid reasons are listed as the cause for ending a relationship, they are merely a cover for the true reason, which is usually a loss of interest in the person being broken-up with as a result of being with them for so long. She may have simply gotten tired of you and wanted to move on.

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#93 Posted by turtlethetaffer (18583 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef: Yeah. Trust me. I'm pretty sure I have it figured out.

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#94 Edited by playmynutz (7876 posts) -

@blurayhidef whats ya psn

Mine: MMLoco

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#95 Edited by BluRayHiDef (10839 posts) -

@turtlethetaffer said:

@BluRayHiDef: Yeah. Trust me. I'm pretty sure I have it figured out.

Not to be intrusive, but how long were you guys dating and were there any signs prior to the break-up that she was losing interest in you? I'll understand if you don't want to answer.

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#96 Posted by turtlethetaffer (18583 posts) -

@BluRayHiDef: I said two and a half years and yes there were some signs that she wasn't going to tell me about until I asked her. Her explanation pissed me off, and the conclusion I came to pissed me off even more.

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#97 Edited by BluRayHiDef (10839 posts) -

@playmynutz said:

@blurayhidef whats ya psn

Mine: MMLoco

I believe it's "stfortag." I'm not sure because I have my real name displayed on my profile and not my username. Tell me if you find me or not; I have a Killzone avatar.

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#98 Edited by Perfect_Blue (29940 posts) -

www.livejournal.com

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#100 Posted by Mikey132 (5114 posts) -

I'll make this short but I could write you a novel on this. If you want to be happy it's up to you. 3 years ago my best friend that I had known for 28 years was killed in a car accident 5 days before Christmas. I had known him since I was 2. If you don't think that's bad enough, two weeks later my girlfriend started accusing me of wanting to be with his wife. I left her right then and there. There was no truth to it and I was not about to try to defend myself, I did not have the energy for that crap. All I took was what I could fit in my car.

So in a 2 week period my best friend died, I lost my girlfriend, my house (which I was only renting, but it was what I called home) and my two cats, all over the Christmas holidays. I felt like I died too. We were so close that without him I felt like I was starting a second life on this planet. And it was a really shitty start to it. These days not much has happened for me yet. I spend almost all my free time alone. I do what I can to get out because it's the only way I can find something other than just loneliness.

I keep trucking along, never give up hope. The way my life turned so bad in just the blink of an eye can work the other way too. Tomorrow I might find something that will return me to a comfortable life again. If you just sit around feeling sorry for yourself it's all you'll ever do!

You could also be a starving kid in Africa, And I'm betting that's way worse than your life!