Does resorting to physical discipline on your kids make you a bad parent?

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Second_Hokage

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#1 Second_Hokage
Member since 2011 • 1104 Posts

After they just wont listen to you, step all over you, hit you, throw things at you, and curse at you? How far is too far?

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Nibroc420

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#2 Nibroc420
Member since 2007 • 13571 Posts

After they just wont listen to you, step all over you, hit you, throw things at you, and curse at you? How far is too far?

Second_Hokage
Too far would be locking them in the basement/attic 24/7 and feeding them food scraps. However it does work.
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muller39

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#3 muller39
Member since 2008 • 14953 Posts

I don't think it is necessary.

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DarkGamer007

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#4 DarkGamer007
Member since 2008 • 6033 Posts

Personally I would never hit my child, I am not a fan of physical punishment.

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chathuranga

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#5 chathuranga
Member since 2003 • 3549 Posts
nope
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mindstorm

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#6 mindstorm
Member since 2003 • 15255 Posts
Positive reinforcement will always be the major way I wish to teach my children. However, reward for good is not always enough. There must be consequences for doing wrong but I will always be certain the punishment will be fitting for the wrong. Does that mean there might be physical punishment? That is for the child to decide.
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Philokalia

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#7 Philokalia
Member since 2012 • 2910 Posts

So long as you are not angry while doing it.

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FlippyMittens

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#8 FlippyMittens
Member since 2012 • 305 Posts

I don't think it is necessary.

muller39

Dis, it doz not necassarily make 1 a bad parent persay imo bot it is bad in most cases.

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chrisrooR

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#9 chrisrooR
Member since 2007 • 9027 Posts
I don't believe it's necessary. During early developmental stages, the brain is extremely sensitive. A tiny amount of force is enough to kill many brain cells. There are also plenty of other ways to punish a child.
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mr_blobby213

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#10 mr_blobby213
Member since 2010 • 727 Posts
No, they need to be taught. I wish my parents would just whack my little sister, she does everything you described in the OP and more. They've tried every punishment bar physical discipline (on a few times though she has stepped over the line and they've lashed out) but she just doesn't learn. She hasn't even past School for the past 2 years. She's 14, in case anyone was wondering.
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Phoenix534

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#11 Phoenix534
Member since 2008 • 17774 Posts

In my opinion, yes. Every situation, especially when dealing with children, can be solved with words. You just have to know what to say.

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Nibroc420

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#12 Nibroc420
Member since 2007 • 13571 Posts

In my opinion, yes. Every situation, especially when dealing with children, can be solved with words. You just have to know what to say.

Phoenix534
Every situation can be dealt using force as well, force also sticks longer.
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Legendaryscmt

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#13 Legendaryscmt
Member since 2005 • 12532 Posts

Sometimes kids get too out of hand. So long as it doesn't come down to flat out abuse, I don't see anything wrong with it.

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Legendaryscmt

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#14 Legendaryscmt
Member since 2005 • 12532 Posts

In my opinion, yes. Every situation, especially when dealing with children, can be solved with words. You just have to know what to say.

Phoenix534

You've never met my fiance's little sister then. :cry:

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DarkGamer007

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#15 DarkGamer007
Member since 2008 • 6033 Posts

[QUOTE="Phoenix534"]

In my opinion, yes. Every situation, especially when dealing with children, can be solved with words. You just have to know what to say.

Nibroc420

Every situation can be dealt using force as well, force also sticks longer.

Force also creates disrespect, mistrust, and lack of understanding why something was wrong.

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Nibroc420

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#16 Nibroc420
Member since 2007 • 13571 Posts

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"][QUOTE="Phoenix534"]

In my opinion, yes. Every situation, especially when dealing with children, can be solved with words. You just have to know what to say.

DarkGamer007

Every situation can be dealt using force as well, force also sticks longer.

Force also creates disrespect, mistrust, and lack of understanding why something was wrong.

Those can also be fixed with force.
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Fightingfan

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#17 Fightingfan
Member since 2010 • 38011 Posts
Just ask your kid. Want me to beat your ass, or take away your TV?
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tocool340

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#18 tocool340
Member since 2004 • 21652 Posts
Nope....
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theone86

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#19 theone86
Member since 2003 • 22669 Posts

After they just wont listen to you, step all over you, hit you, throw things at you, and curse at you? How far is too far?

Second_Hokage

It sounds like you're doing it in a reactionary manner, in which case yes, yes it does.

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theone86

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#20 theone86
Member since 2003 • 22669 Posts

[QUOTE="DarkGamer007"]

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"] Every situation can be dealt using force as well, force also sticks longer.Nibroc420

Force also creates disrespect, mistrust, and lack of understanding why something was wrong.

Those can also be fixed with force.

No they can't. Force can create total subservience due to a paralyzing fear of retribution, but that's not the same as respect and trust.

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theone86

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#22 theone86
Member since 2003 • 22669 Posts

It depends on the situation. But, generally no. Thongs like spanking and grounding can do good sometimes.thegerg

LOL, Freudian slip?

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Nibroc420

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#23 Nibroc420
Member since 2007 • 13571 Posts

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"][QUOTE="DarkGamer007"]

Force also creates disrespect, mistrust, and lack of understanding why something was wrong.

theone86

Those can also be fixed with force.

No they can't. Force can create total subservience due to a paralyzing fear of retribution, but that's not the same as respect and trust.

That can be fixed with force. You just need the right sort of force ;) it's like an art really.
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fueled-system

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#24 fueled-system
Member since 2008 • 6529 Posts

If I feel like I have to resort to hitting my child I feel like I have failed...

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theone86

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#26 theone86
Member since 2003 • 22669 Posts

[QUOTE="theone86"]

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"] Those can also be fixed with force.Nibroc420

No they can't. Force can create total subservience due to a paralyzing fear of retribution, but that's not the same as respect and trust.

That can be fixed with force. You just need the right sort of force ;) it's like an art really.

Force is force. Punishment has been objectively shown to be an inferior mode of discipline as opposed to positive and negative reinforcement. If it's used a a primary mode of discipline rather than a supplement to reinforcement then the results are going to be less than ideal.

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FlippyMittens

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#27 FlippyMittens
Member since 2012 • 305 Posts

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"][QUOTE="theone86"]

No they can't. Force can create total subservience due to a paralyzing fear of retribution, but that's not the same as respect and trust.

theone86

That can be fixed with force. You just need the right sort of force ;) it's like an art really.

Force is force. Punishment has been objectively shown to be an inferior mode of discipline as opposed to positive and negative reinforcement. If it's used a a primary mode of discipline rather than a supplement to reinforcement then the results are going to be less than ideal.

Well I have been punished wit force n I feel I did not turn out that grayte but mayb da two are mutually exclusive yup yup? seriously though I was punished physically but I deserved it 99% of time.

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Hubadubalubahu

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#28 Hubadubalubahu
Member since 2005 • 1081 Posts

[QUOTE="theone86"]

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"] Those can also be fixed with force.Nibroc420

No they can't. Force can create total subservience due to a paralyzing fear of retribution, but that's not the same as respect and trust.

That can be fixed with force. You just need the right sort of force ;) it's like an art really.

So bottom line is. Dont hit your children. They will grow up to use MLP avatars.

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BPoole96

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#29 BPoole96
Member since 2008 • 22818 Posts

Anything more than spanking is unnecessary. If a child gets to the point where you need to resort to anything more than that its only because the parenting has not been good enough for a prolonged period and has enabled the child to get out of control

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Nibroc420

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#30 Nibroc420
Member since 2007 • 13571 Posts

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"][QUOTE="theone86"]

No they can't. Force can create total subservience due to a paralyzing fear of retribution, but that's not the same as respect and trust.

theone86

That can be fixed with force. You just need the right sort of force ;) it's like an art really.

Force is force. Punishment has been objectively shown to be an inferior mode of discipline as opposed to positive and negative reinforcement. If it's used a a primary mode of discipline rather than a supplement to reinforcement then the results are going to be less than ideal.

Force is force. Perhaps the issue is you're not being consistent?
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Hubadubalubahu

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#31 Hubadubalubahu
Member since 2005 • 1081 Posts

consistent child abuse > child abuse

Wouldn't wanna send mixed signals now.

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theone86

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#32 theone86
Member since 2003 • 22669 Posts

[QUOTE="theone86"]

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"] That can be fixed with force. You just need the right sort of force ;) it's like an art really.FlippyMittens

Force is force. Punishment has been objectively shown to be an inferior mode of discipline as opposed to positive and negative reinforcement. If it's used a a primary mode of discipline rather than a supplement to reinforcement then the results are going to be less than ideal.

Well I have been punished wit force n I feel I did not turn out that grayte but mayb da two are mutually exclusive yup yup? seriously though I was punished physically but I deserved it 99% of time.

There can be varying consequences. Perhaps the force you experienced wasn't ideal, but that doesn't mean you're going to be Jeffery Dahmer. But what I'm saying is that punishment as the primary form of discipline isn't good. Psychiatrists differ on how much, if any, punishment should be used, but they all agree that reinforcement needs to be the primary factor in discipline. So no, they're not mutually exclusive, but I never said they were.

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chad_daddy

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#33 chad_daddy
Member since 2008 • 500 Posts

If the parent loses control they are bad, if a child does something bad hes gettin a big slap , learn not to disobey

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Nibroc420

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#34 Nibroc420
Member since 2007 • 13571 Posts

[QUOTE="FlippyMittens"]

[QUOTE="theone86"]

Force is force. Punishment has been objectively shown to be an inferior mode of discipline as opposed to positive and negative reinforcement. If it's used a a primary mode of discipline rather than a supplement to reinforcement then the results are going to be less than ideal.

theone86

Well I have been punished wit force n I feel I did not turn out that grayte but mayb da two are mutually exclusive yup yup? seriously though I was punished physically but I deserved it 99% of time.

There can be varying consequences. Perhaps the force you experienced wasn't ideal, but that doesn't mean you're going to be Jeffery Dahmer. But what I'm saying is that punishment as the primary form of discipline isn't good. Psychiatrists differ on how much, if any, punishment should be used, but they all agree that reinforcement needs to be the primary factor in discipline. So no, they're not mutually exclusive, but I never said they were.

You simply need to beat them into subordination, and then teach them :D
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edinsftw

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#35 edinsftw
Member since 2009 • 4243 Posts

No, in many cases it makes you a good parent. Sometimes a kid needs a belting, it establishes that you are the one who is control in the relationship.

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Nibroc420

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#36 Nibroc420
Member since 2007 • 13571 Posts

No, in many cases it makes you a good parent. Sometimes a kid needs a belting, it establishes that you are the one who is control in the relationship.

edinsftw
I told my girlfriend the same thing a week ago :D
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theone86

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#37 theone86
Member since 2003 • 22669 Posts

[QUOTE="theone86"]

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"] That can be fixed with force. You just need the right sort of force ;) it's like an art really.Nibroc420

Force is force. Punishment has been objectively shown to be an inferior mode of discipline as opposed to positive and negative reinforcement. If it's used a a primary mode of discipline rather than a supplement to reinforcement then the results are going to be less than ideal.

Force is force. Perhaps the issue is you're not being consistent?

No I'm not. If you create a paralyzing fear of retribution you can't erase that fear with another degree of force. You might be able to avoid creating that fear at all through use of the right amount of force, though it is a very inexact "science," but you can't erase that fear with force or inspire respect and trust with force.

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Addict187

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#38 Addict187
Member since 2008 • 1128 Posts
My kid if I had one? Lipped me off I would do the same thing my mother did to me. Smack them right in the face, so they know who is in charge. Just talking to somthing that can not be reasond with requires force to show they did wrong. I would not beat him but a good smack is warranted, then it has to be dun
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UnknownSniper65

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#39 UnknownSniper65
Member since 2004 • 9238 Posts

No, buts there is obiviously a line that shouldn't be crossed when it comes to physical discipline.

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Novotine

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#40 Novotine
Member since 2009 • 1199 Posts
Can teach your kid a lesson without hitting them.
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Nibroc420

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#41 Nibroc420
Member since 2007 • 13571 Posts

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"][QUOTE="theone86"]

Force is force. Punishment has been objectively shown to be an inferior mode of discipline as opposed to positive and negative reinforcement. If it's used a a primary mode of discipline rather than a supplement to reinforcement then the results are going to be less than ideal.

theone86

Force is force. Perhaps the issue is you're not being consistent?

No I'm not. If you create a paralyzing fear of retribution you can't erase that fear with another degree of force. You might be able to avoid creating that fear at all through use of the right amount of force, though it is a very inexact "science," but you can't erase that fear with force or inspire respect and trust with force.

OH, you can erase fear with force. It's been done ;)
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theone86

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#42 theone86
Member since 2003 • 22669 Posts

[QUOTE="theone86"]

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"] Force is force. Perhaps the issue is you're not being consistent?Nibroc420

No I'm not. If you create a paralyzing fear of retribution you can't erase that fear with another degree of force. You might be able to avoid creating that fear at all through use of the right amount of force, though it is a very inexact "science," but you can't erase that fear with force or inspire respect and trust with force.

OH, you can erase fear with force. It's been done ;)

No it hasn't.

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RAGEofSTUNTS

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#43 RAGEofSTUNTS
Member since 2010 • 733 Posts
I think it makes you a bad parent if you are doing it out of anger of what the child did, but otherwise no.
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Nibroc420

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#44 Nibroc420
Member since 2007 • 13571 Posts

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"][QUOTE="theone86"]

No I'm not. If you create a paralyzing fear of retribution you can't erase that fear with another degree of force. You might be able to avoid creating that fear at all through use of the right amount of force, though it is a very inexact "science," but you can't erase that fear with force or inspire respect and trust with force.

theone86

OH, you can erase fear with force. It's been done ;)

No it hasn't.

go away troll. You've clearly got no experience with force.
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theone86

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#45 theone86
Member since 2003 • 22669 Posts

My kid if I had one? Lipped me off I would do the same thing my mother did to me. Smack them right in the face, so they know who is in charge. Just talking to somthing that can not be reasond with requires force to show they did wrong. I would not beat him but a good smack is warranted, then it has to be dunAddict187

So, let me get this straight, your argument is that not only do children not know that you are in charge, but can only be reminded of it through the use of violence? Riiiiiigght...

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CHOASXIII

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#46 CHOASXIII
Member since 2009 • 14716 Posts

As long as physical discipline doesn't go too far it's alright with me and by too far I mean beating not just a simple swat on the rear or such.

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TacticalDesire

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#47 TacticalDesire
Member since 2010 • 10713 Posts

Probably does yeah. If you notice they're alot of good parents who never resort to physical discipline with their kids, and their kids are often some of the best behaved, so cleary it isn't necessary.

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TacticalDesire

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#48 TacticalDesire
Member since 2010 • 10713 Posts

[QUOTE="theone86"]

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"] OH, you can erase fear with force. It's been done ;)Nibroc420

No it hasn't.

go away troll. You've clearly got no experience with force.

Force doesn't have to be physical you know.

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Serraph105

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#49 Serraph105
Member since 2007 • 36041 Posts
I don't see a problem with spanking, but most things beyond that go too far.
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Colin1192

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#50 Colin1192
Member since 2008 • 6221 Posts
no, it establishes fear and domination things a parent should strive for