Most unlikely F1 Newspaper headlines!!!!!!

Hamilton not Crying after a Defeat

Bernie realises he made a mistake purchasing QPR along with Flav, so he brings the team into Formula 1 to replace prodrive!

Tests for who should get the seats are cancelled not long after beginning after players waiting their turn to race throw footballs at their colleagues going for the seat. Eventually Bernie has enough, and sets up a super team consisting of Yuji Ide and Sakon Yamamoto.

Anthony Davidson secures pole for the Australian Grand Prix!

ANT: "and you thought we just had issues with no testing, well we were just SANDBAGGING the whole practice!"

James Allen gives a faultless commentary, without biasing Lewis Hamilton.

That'll be the day...

Barbershop Quartets all highly praise BMW's new winglets on their nosecones:

Murray Walker steps down from the offer of commentator for BBC when they gain televising rights back in 2009. Instead, the replacement is Roy Walker with Martin Brundle staying on in the transfer:

BRUNDLE: So you know what to do when commentating?
WALKER: Yes I know. I'll just say what I see!

[poor, poor joke :lol:]

Come on people, it's getting boring me just coming up with the ideas! :P

KRAVITZ: And finally...what do you think of Lewis Hamilton? Will he win the championship?

BRITISH EX-F1 DRIVER: Well...he's got talent, but I don't think he's quite got enough to take the title. He's good, but not as good as Raikkonen, Alonso or Kovalainen...not in the top bracket of drivers, I think.

Very different from the usual 'we love Hamilton' quotes from Moss, Hill, Stewart et al.

Massa finishes a race!!!!:P

What am I doing I support that guy!:?

With talks of the Top Gear team possibly being in the BBC team next year, it was onlt inevitable the pit lane reporter would be the Stig.

Ron Dennis was available for a test run interview for the job for the Stig, and this is how it went:

STIG: ...
RON: "So... you going to ask me anything?"
STIG: ...

EMPLOYER: "Meh, better than Louise Goodman"

Bernie realises he made a mistake purchasing QPR along with Flav, so he brings the team into Formula 1 to replace prodrive!

Tests for who should get the seats are cancelled not long after beginning after players waiting their turn to race throw footballs at their colleagues going for the seat. Eventually Bernie has enough, and sets up a super team consisting of Yuji Ide and Sakon Yamamoto.

Redders1989

Eventually after gaining financial backing, Ecclestone's Super Team joins the paddock. With Bernie's vast amounts of money, the car is by far the best of all, however Ide still crawls around the track 20 seconds a lap slower than everyone else and Yamamoto flies off hitting the barriers. With Massa's recent form, rumours are he may join the team.

Alonso comes clean: "It's my fault for what happened in the incident", and thus apologised to Lewis Hamilton.

Hamilton, on the other hand, having mentioned how "(he) let the team down", is found in his room after growing his hair over one eye and listening to My Chemical Romance.

NEWSFLASH: Super Aguri F1 owner, Aguri Suzuki purchases the BMW Sauber Team. The team will now be called Super Mario F1. BMW team boss Mario Theissan was not available for comment.BlaZe_irl

Reverse the purchase and I think Mr. Suzuki would be up for that...

Michael Schumcher races Hungarian GP in reverse and beats Fernando Alonso by 30.834 secondskipi19

I know this is really old (Kip said this the day before the Hungarian GP 2006) but anyone notice how what he said is THREE THOUSANDS OFF the exact time Button was to have won by from de la Rosa? (30.837 seconds) How freaky is that!?!

...and instantly puts a restraining order on any newspaper reporters etc. from coming within 2 miles of me. Oh, and no stories are allowed to be published of me, new criminal offense courtesy of Mr. Brown.

(For once, Gordon does something right!)

Honda's first sponsor of 2008 - YouTube!

Feeling they have nothing left to prove in Formula 1, Ferrari leave to join GP2. Raikkonen was said to have been seen verbally abusing the decision in an incoherent voice, along with Massa who couldn't stop saying "Fo' sho'".

This decision thus leaves a shocked Robert Kubica World Champion of 2008 in the end.

With the Turkish GP moved to May, drivers are struggling for grip due to the cooler temperatures. Come race day, a surprised Sebastian Vettel takes pole position. The only problem is through turn one he accidently collects 2nd place Felipe Massa, and a following constantine effect leaves every car crashing into them as well, thus leaving all twenty cars eliminated. Seizing the opportunity, Takuma Sato & Anthony Davidson take up mopeds and race for 58 laps, leading to Super Aguri's first 1-2 of the season despite withdrawing from the World Championship a few days prior to the weekend. The FIA decide to let Super Aguri in the Championship with their 1-2, thus giving them financial profits to see them compete in at least the first four races of 2009. After that, they're out the door again.Redders1989

Best one so far!! :D

Raikkonen is grateful for the introduction of the Ferrari-repellant magnets in Rascasse, but asks for one to now be introduced in the back of Adrian Sutil's car.

Also, in unrelated news, Briatore admits he pushed Kovalainen under a ladder when he left Renault.

Mclaren decide to only hire monks and nuns in order to guarantee a vow of silence

Stewards invent new game: "How many times can we move Massa's car backwards and forwards until it is safe?"

Massa himself disapproved of the game once they hit the car against the barrier.

Its Ferrari who now have Anti-McLaren Magnets installed on the diffusers of their cars.

This is to help prevent silver arrows going up Ferrari's backside :lol:

Heidfeld was spotted to have dyed his hair black and having it over one eye at the French GP after visiting the MCR concert.

After crashing out of the lead of the last lap of the German GP, Bernie sacks Yamamoto for dangerous driving. Bernie widely advertises the position, but no one is interested as they won't get any back-up from Ide. Eventually, Bernie is close to tying up a deal with Michael Schumacher for the other place, however, Michael pulls out after he learns that his team-mate next year will be Juan Pablo Montoya. Meanwhile, Ralf Schumacher throws his hat into the ring, saying 'Everyone would like to drive for Bernie's team and their super car' and Bernie, being desperate, makes a last-ditch attempt to buy Lewis Hamilton out of his McLaren contract. Unfortunately, there is a national outcry in the UK, with James Allen, in a shock signing for the BBC. stating that 'it would be a disaster if Hamilton went to Bernie F1'. Bernie is eventually beaten down, and settles for a 'super team' of Ralf and Ide. In the Australian GP of the next season, though, Ide pootles around in the slow lane, much to Bernie's disgust, while Ralf turns out of his pit box and promptly crashes into the pit wall.yuxwallin

Bernie's disappointment in Ralf's pit box actions thus leaves the F1 supremo no option but to fire the younger Schumacher. In his place, he buys Fernando Alonso out of his contract, but come qualifying for the Hungarian GP, he discovers Alonso too has pit box issues...