Is 19 years old too young to get engaged?

Hey guys, so I'm in a relationship with a girl that I've been together with about 2 and a half years now. More and more lately it's been going through my mind of proposing to her. We've got a great relationship and I want to make it official to spend my life with her.

The only problem is my friends aren't exactly the most supportive. They always tell me you're too young, don't go it. dont rush things etc etc. They always mock me and say that I'm just tying myself down. But see I don't care about that, I don't care about crap like 1 night stands and banging some chick I only just met. I like the emotion part of a relationship- the connection. In the end I don't care what they think.

I love her alot and somehow the thought of proposing feels so right. Back in Serbia its common to wait till you're around 30 to get married but thats wayy too long for me to wait. And I'm not sure how US marital customs go.

My friends say I disrespect the culture but I am in US now, so sometimes don't we have to forget about following culture so strictly and do what makes us happy? thats what i always thought anyways. My parents seem pretty supportive and they said that as long as I still continue pursuing my education they'd be supportive all the way. Which I am doing and will continue to do as I'm going for a degree in Law

Anyways a little advice? is 19 too young?

TheNewEraIcon

It depends on how many wives you plan to have in the future.

19 is a little young to get engaged, but you might not be making a mistake if you've thought through all the consequences that will result, and if you've prepared for it.

If you could pay for everything, who cares!?

Maybe, depends on the person really. These days people graitate towards nuptials in later life, but that's not to say it can't work. The social norm not so long ago was to be wed at a far younger age (but whose to say they were happy eh? Well I guess the wife was sticking a couple of valium up her arse every morning - even the hoovering had a pleasent, slightly smacked out groove to it). But times-a-changed - pressures on the young uns are different these days, on top of which social expectancy has shifted so getting wed early will be swimming against the tide of the social norms around you - prematurely shifting into a new life phase can be isolating in itself. Tough, I would say.

Regardless - why bother anyway? Marriage is just so passe these days. Who needs a ring to convey a betrothment.

PS - I was with a girl for a couple of years at 19 and wanted to marry her. Let's just say thank fuk I didn't.

I would say it definitely is.

At the very least wait until sround mid 20's I'd say, and that's if you have a well-paying job by then as well.

"is 19 years old too young to get engaged?"

what the phuck do you think??? i dont even need to read the post the title alone tells me this is a bad idea

Hey guys, so I'm in a relationship with a girl that I've been together with about 2 and a half years now. More and more lately it's been going through my mind of proposing to her. We've got a great relationship and I want to make it official to spend my life with her.

The only problem is my friends aren't exactly the most supportive. They always tell me you're too young, don't go it. dont rush things etc etc. They always mock me and say that I'm just tying myself down. But see I don't care about that, I don't care about crap like 1 night stands and banging some chick I only just met. I like the emotion part of a relationship- the connection. In the end I don't care what they think.

I love her alot and somehow the thought of proposing feels so right. Back in Serbia its common to wait till you're around 30 to get married but thats wayy too long for me to wait. And I'm not sure how US marital customs go.

My friends say I disrespect the culture but I am in US now, so sometimes don't we have to forget about following culture so strictly and do what makes us happy? thats what i always thought anyways. My parents seem pretty supportive and they said that as long as I still continue pursuing my education they'd be supportive all the way. Which I am doing and will continue to do as I'm going for a degree in Law

Anyways a little advice? is 19 too young?

TheNewEraIcon

This is probably one of the most thoughtful and inspiring posts I've read on here in a long time. I feel as though personally, I'm not ready to get married yet, but that's just me. If you met someone who you truly feel like you could spend the rest of your life with, then go for it. I wish you the best.

As for culture and all that stuff, I'm not saying to ignore it, but maybe just realize that the words of advice are just that. They don't mean the same thing to everybody and for different reasons. Some people SHOULD wait till they're older to get married, but this isn't the ideal situation or circumstance for every person or couple.

Short Answer: Yes.

Long answer: You're too naive and don't have enough experience living with a woman. Loving a woman and living with one are two separate things. Unless you plan on having children real soon, there is absolutely no reason for you to marry someone.

Nope im 17 and my bf is 20 i we're engaged. As long as you're sure about it go for it :)AussieePet

It totally depends on how mature the two of you are, but I don't think 19 is too young. Get engaged and wait until you're 20 to get married - that's certainly not too young. I got married when I was 24 and was fairly immature for my age, and we've had a great marriage for 23 years.

[QUOTE="AussieePet"]Nope im 17 and my bf is 20 i we're engaged. As long as you're sure about it go for it :)FMAB_GTO

[QUOTE="AussieePet"]Nope im 17 and my bf is 20 i we're engaged. As long as you're sure about it go for it :)FMAB_GTO

19 is a little young, especially if you're in your fist year of college. Give it another year or two.

If you'be been with them that long and want to sepnd the rest of your life with her, go for it. Have you thought about moving in togethor before marriage because if you get a house/apartment you can tell what goes up and what goes down with two couple living togethor.

Maybe.

If it doesn't work out you could just get a divorce later down the road, but that could effect you financially

Maybe.

If it doesn't work out you could just get a divorce later down the road, but that could effect you financially

toast_burner

[QUOTE="toast_burner"]

Maybe.

If it doesn't work out you could just get a divorce later down the road, but that could effect you financially

GazaAli

[QUOTE="GazaAli"][QUOTE="toast_burner"]

Maybe.

If it doesn't work out you could just get a divorce later down the road, but that could effect you financially

toast_burner

[QUOTE="toast_burner"]

[QUOTE="GazaAli"] prenup?GazaAli

Well yeah, financially you're probably wayyyy too young and whether or not if you love her... You gotta first understand the concept of forever.

I'd suggest to wait a few more years, you're both still in a developing phase of your life. You're probably still studying or just starting your carreer right now.
I would wait a couple of years until you are settled down a bit more to make the right decision. If you think the same at 25 then go for it :-)

I had a class with a girl who I assume was my age or a little older (you really couldn't tell by looks) and she was married. A friend of mine is already talking marriage in a few years, and the dude seems to have his life together financially and all. I have to say that I admire people like that. If you've got a plan that'll work, go for it.

Otherwise, it'll turn into Blue Valentine. If any of you have watched that movie, that's pretty much a cautionary tale. Great film, but depressing as sh!t.

I suppose it depends on the people involved.

When we were married, I was 19 and my wife was 18. 16+ years later doing well. So, it worked for us but again, may not be for everyone.

Yes, yes it is.

Yes, well at least for me. I need to whore around a little bit more.

Edit- LOL @ you 'falling in love' in only two years.

Fightingfan

I'm 20 and I still feel like a kid. So, yes.CoolSkAGuy

Yes, I know from experience. I'm 21 and at this time last year I had just gotten engaged. I spent $1200 on a ring and then broke up with her 4 months later because I decided she wasn't the right girl for me. Just make sure it's what you want to do before you do it.

It's a little young, but if you are certain, go for it. Most people like to wait until they at least have some financial security or a plan, but that's not the end of the world if you dont.

Yes, I know from experience. I'm 21 and at this time last year I had just gotten engaged. I spent $1200 on a ring and then broke up with her 4 months later because I decided she wasn't the right girl for me. Just make sure it's what you want to do before you do it.

Hellfireknight

...I would have dumped your ass too. F*ckin' cheapa$$.

[QUOTE="Hellfireknight"]

Yes, I know from experience. I'm 21 and at this time last year I had just gotten engaged. I spent $1200 on a ring and then broke up with her 4 months later because I decided she wasn't the right girl for me. Just make sure it's what you want to do before you do it.

...I would have dumped your ass too. F*ckin' cheapa$$.

[QUOTE="Hellfireknight"]

Yes, I know from experience. I'm 21 and at this time last year I had just gotten engaged. I spent $1200 on a ring and then broke up with her 4 months later because I decided she wasn't the right girl for me. Just make sure it's what you want to do before you do it.

...I would have dumped your ass too. F*ckin' cheapa$$.

Nope im 17 and my bf is 20 i we're engaged. As long as you're sure about it go for it :)AussieePet

Laughed very hard.

[QUOTE="Hellfireknight"][QUOTE="rawsavon"]

...I would have dumped your ass too. F*ckin' cheapa$$.

rawsavon

Na, I let her keep it, it's the right thing to do when you break up with them. She was a nice girl, just not the right one for me.

Hellfireknight

Hope you learned your lesson. That was an expensive mistake.

[QUOTE="rawsavon"][QUOTE="Hellfireknight"] Haha, not everyone has endless money to spend on women, plus I broke up with her.Hellfireknight

1) If you haven't lived together, you need to do that before proposing.

2) Many people change once they're married and have that commitment. Don't be surprised if she suddenly doesn't want any part in those hobbies you enjoy, but aren't necessarily something women usually enjoy (e.g. fishing was a big one for my dad. My dad and his first wife would always go fishing together when they were dating. After marriage, he couldn't get her to go fishing for the life of him). For me, my wife never complained about my video games while we were dating. After marriage, it was a completely different story. She started complaining about them constantly, saying I spent all my time on them. Clearly, 4-6 hours a week was all my time.

3) Discuss a plan for money before marriage. Will it all go into one big pot? Will you both have personal accounts for things you enjoy and a joint account for rent, groceries, and other bills? Money is important, and you will need a plan for it. My experience here: the big pot works well if only one person is working. It tends to encourage thrifty behavior on the part of both people. If both partners are working, though, the big pot can create some serious problems. Once my wife found a job (she had to search 6 months with this recession), she suddenly started differentiating between HER money and OUR money. Guess who had to pay for all the bills and put the remainder into savings. She'd have a conniption if I spent $20 every couple weeks going out with friends or buying a game.

4) Faith... if you're not the same faith, it can cause friction. Religion also does funny things to otherwise normal people. I've known people who loved and were devoted to each other split up over this. Hell, they were perfect for each other, but he was an atheist and she was a devout Christian. When he wouldn't believe the same things she did, she broke up. They've regretted it ever since, but she won't budge on her stance.

I'd also like to reiterate what has already been said. You're 19. From 19-25, expect some very major changes in who you are.

[QUOTE="Hellfireknight"]

[QUOTE="rawsavon"] at least you did not care about getting it back thenrawsavon

[QUOTE="rawsavon"][QUOTE="Hellfireknight"] Na, I let her keep it, it's the right thing to do when you break up with them. She was a nice girl, just not the right one for me.

Hellfireknight