The novelty of playing something that’s essentially interactive marketing wears thin quickly.
Sneak King, one of the three games available, puts you in the shoes of the creepy Burger King as he, well, sneaks up on people and delivers them sandwiches. Yeah. If you think that’s completely crazy, you’re certainly not alone. This ridiculous premise is made even more laughable when you see things like the names of menu options from the restaurant appear bolded, with trademark symbols next to them.
Actually playing Sneak King takes one-note gameplay to dizzying new heights. The first step is to sneak up behind unsuspecting civilians with a burger in a thought bubble above their head (a sign of hunger). Given that their field of vision is narrowed strictly in front of them and only extends about three feet ahead of their feet, this is a task rather easily accomplished. Hopefully it’s not all the Burger King food these people have been eating that’s causing these severe ocular ailments.
Once you’re up close, you’ll be prompted to hit the ‘A’ button, which will start a moving meter not unlike those found in your average golf game. You’ll need to tap ‘A’ again to stop the meter at different levels. This will determine the amount of ‘flourish’ that goes into your surprise delivery. The key to delivering food with a high ranking is to make the largest grandstand possible, accomplished by stopping the meter at its crux. This will cause the King to perform a ridiculous, half-hearted dance before pulling a Burger King menu item out of thin air. The problem is that the meter – the sole mechanic of its gameplay – is impossible to lose. Even if you don’t stop the meter at all, you’ll still get a ‘regular delivery.’ Although it won’t get you the points you need for high scores, this is by no means a penalty.
However, the main problem with Sneak King is that you’re walking up to people and pressing ‘A’ from the first second until the last. There are eighty different ‘missions’ in the game, but every single one of them has you sneaking and delivering food. There are some special circumstances – like having to perform a certain amount of flourish or completing deliveries in a certain amount of time. But since you’ll master the surprise meter almost immediately, and since the time limits are so generous, they make no difference. Needless to say, this immensely shallow gameplay gets old fast.
The bland presentation doesn’t help things much, either. For an Xbox 360 game, Sneak King has an extremely plain appearance. The environments – ranging from a saw mill to a dead-end street – are sparsely decorated and sport repetitive textures. Animations also appear rough around the edges, and the character models for the civilians are pretty ugly. The King’s cape also frequently clips through his body. Some little touches save the visuals from complete ignobility, though. It’s got a diverse enough color palette to remain at least vaguely interesting, and when played in 720p or progressive scan, it gains a much-appreciated boost in clarity. The audio that’s present is decent enough, but the extremely rampant rate at which it repeats hurts the overall presentation of it, and overall the game just feels too quiet.
All told, Sneak King could probably be completed in an hour or two. But considering you could likely master the gameplay in about two minutes, it’s probably not going to even last you that long. There’s some achievement points to be earned here, but aside from the 40 or so you can earn in a couple minutes, they’re not worth the effort. As a gag gift or channeled guffaw at poor marketing, Sneak King can make sense. Just don’t expect much of a game.