What was that, a letter of your leave of absence?iloveflash

You mean, me saying done? That meant I was done doing what foolz told me to do. Also, the picture is not me walking away, it is just a less than clever pun.

By the way, chapter 7 is up.  

EDIT: And now chapter 8 and 9 is too. 

Done. Original post has been copied to the new board.

Chapter 6 is up.

Alrighty, then, time for a new release schedule. From now on, new chapters every tuesday, thursday and saturday. Basically every day with t in the name. 

First of all, chapter 5 is out.

Secondly, we need to talk. See, I just finished translating the last of the six timelines. In other words, there are thirty-some updates that could be posted whenever I feel like it. Here is my current strategy:

By building up a solid lead, I can keep releasing 2k word chapters every week indefinitely (probably two chapters some weeks considering the rate I'm currently writing/translating at. In the seven or eight months it will take me to post what is already translated I will be able to finish writing several other timelines and go straight to translating those. My question to you is whether or not that's what you want.

The alternative is that I can release one chapter every day for a bit over a month, giving you those six timelines very quickly and then go silent for some months before I'm ready to translate other timelines. Please voice your oponions on which schedule you prefer. 

Am I late?

Chapter 51 and 52:

I don't know man. I liked chapter 51, but I found myself zoning out while reading chapter 52. I couldn't tell you what happened or how it related to anything else. I just kept losing interest, because I had the same feeling I often get from too complex poems. My mind just starts readin the words without even trying to interpret the meaning. 

Chapter 50:

Read it. Not much to say, I'm eager to see how this ends. 

Chapter 49:

It really takes a lot of dicipline to stick to my schedule when all the chapters end like this. 

Someone should raise the point that Sivia's main contribution is not in strength but in terror. What would soldiers think if their enemy's army had a warrior who could take on a dozen, or a hunderd men and win easily? In real life battles are about breaking the morale of the enemy and causing them to run away from the field.

Barbariser

Added one mention in chapter 4. Also, it does come into play farther down the line. 

 

I am also wondering why they called all of the city's soldiers to the plaza when they would only need the cream of the crop to show up to test her. Given the city's apparent vulnerability to infiltration, removing the garrisons from their posts sounds like an invitation for an attack. I suppose they want to show the soldiers just how badass their new ally is (to raise their spirits), but they could just rely on word of mouth from a smaller crowd of spectators.

Barbariser

Because Horn likes a good show - and as you discover when the Council continues (in chapter 4, which is now up), he failed to consider the whole infiltration thing.

Actually, I forgot to consider that too, to be completely honest. 

[QUOTE="waZelda"] military council in the Assembly Hall immediately. I repeat: Military Council. ImmediatelyBarbariser

Both phrases should either have capitalized or uncapitalized first letters, it is odd to have one capitalized and one uncapitalized especially when they are literally a few words apart. Unless the second time he's saying it, he's doing it for emphasis, in which case I recommend capitalizing all the letters. 

I easily forget to capitalize it because there in Norwegian we use capitals a lot less. For instance, America is capitalized, but not American and in a book title, The first word and the names are the only words that start with capital letters. 

[QUOTE="waZelda"]Wait, is the Generals name Vehaka as well? Sivia wondered.Barbariser

She ought to have wondered that earlier, when Horn referred to him in the same way.

Not really. Since the training camp is named Vehaka (I might not have made that clear enough), "Vehaka's forces" could be interpreted differently. 

Chapter 47:

Much as I appreciate the exposition in this chapter and all the secrets suddenly being brought into daylight, I am a bit disappointed. I knew from the start that the agents' memories having been purged and then their crystals were stolen was a winning formula as far as reveals down the line goes. However, I had some expectations:

A) That the reveals would be spaced out. Like different pieces of a puzzle. You get one memory from a character's past, which only opens for speculation, but as you get more and more, their past character becomes clear. Some agents might have more trouble handling this insecurity than others.

B) That the agents would have different backgrounds. Some joined the agency willingly, others were captives from the liberation front that the agency decided to turn into agents after wiping their memory. There could even be two agents in the party that used to be mortal enemies before what happened - leading to epic inner conflict. The conflict would be even greater if the two had become friends after the memory wipe. It would be like that Star Trek TOS episode when Kirk and the Romulan captain have epic mind games and seem to understand each other and the Romulan says "in a different reality I might have called you a friend".

Damn, I really want to use that in a story of my own, now. 

So as you can imagine, this chapter made me go "I guess that's good too" rather than "omg, what a twist!"

Chapter 48:

That is one brutal execusion of Niccoli. 

Wow, I wrote a comment yesterday and then forgot to post it before I closed the browser :facepalm:

Chapter 44 

"He swung the Great Zircon, the very weapon he had stolen from Goddens tomb, and then...

    Dragon wasnt strong enough to survive him. "

Has it been established that the narrator is talking to someone? This seems inconsistent with the narrators role previously in the story.

"A walking...breathing...metal...shadow."

**** just got realer.

Chapter 45:

I think my main problem with the story so far, is that I'm at a point where I'm really not sure how the different characters in the story feels about each other. If you asked me how Elf Squad feels about Van or vice versa, how Van feels about Noa or how Elf Squad feels about Noa, I'd have a really hard time answering. Things are happening and all I can think is "yep, things sure are happening". 

Chapter 46:

I like seeing Van tired.

Damn cliffhanger.