You can choose to interact or not to interact with players online. When I get messages that I don't like I delete them, block the player, and respond with a ruder comment of my own.
Don't blame your slow IP connection on the PS3. I have a 15Mbps and it's plenty fast enough with PSN. You probably have 5Mbps or less which is slow ISP. You have to pay to have a fast connection of usually $50+ per month.
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