What the hell is wrong with me? (Everything?)

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dazzzilla

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#1 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

Hey everyone.

I've been having some serious issues since January, I've posted another thread regarding something similar but its been along time and I never asked this specifically.

Anyways since about Janauary I have been feeling I don't know extremely depressed, I have lost the will to do anything and at the same time I am miserable about sitting at home doing nothing looking for a job.

The issue is though I have no idea what I am suffering from, I originally thought it was just depression, but then when I looked into it I thought it was a anxiety isssue, because every time I had work or uni (When I went for a month) I got really nervous before hand. Then I thought I had social anxiety because I am not a very outgoing person, for example I am shy around people I don't know but once I get to know the people I am very talkative around them. But today I've been researching more and I've started to think its Bipolar disorder or something, I am not sure though. Firstly I am not here for a 100% diagnosis :P because I know its a games forum, but I know there are people here who are smart enough to explain this and sort of get the idea of what I mean.

Why did I think I had bipolar?

Well the last 2 years I've been very mood swingy by that I mean I am depressed then I am overly happy inside me. It's so difficult to explain correctly even writing it but I'll try get it a little bit more in depth. Say I get up in the morning I am usually down like hell, I think about starting uni again, I think about starting work again and I just don't feel like it because I am so depressed, however randomly during the day I can start to feel happy again but then I start to have doubts about things again and I feel depressed again. Over the last few years I've also gotten more 'angry' I guess, maybe its frustrations of life maybe something else, but when I'm playing a game I am more likely to break the controller than I was 4 or 5 years ago, it is also the same with anything else I tend to get to my snapping point alot earlier than a couple of years ago, and lately I have been extremely nostalgic.

I personally dont understand what is meant by 'Manic' when talking about bipolar, I have never been so happy that I start jumping around and smashing stuff ? I do however remember one time maybe in early february where I could not fall asleep of because how happy I was about buying something the next day (The something wasn't anything big or that I like, I know stupid) while being depressed only a few moments before, since then I've never had such an outrageous happiness.

Any help would be appreciated thanks heaps.

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UbiquitousAeon

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#2 UbiquitousAeon
Member since 2010 • 2099 Posts

Man, that's a whole lot of reading. You should probably go see a psychiatrist or something if you think you're bi-polar. I doubt anyone here can give you a clear answer what's wrong.

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markop2003

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#3 markop2003
Member since 2005 • 29917 Posts
1. Bipolar disorder does not always result in manic episodes sometimes it can result in hypomania instead. 2. Don't go round saying you have a psychiactric disorder until you've been fully diagnosed by a proffesional. Self diagnoses espescially by someone untrained diagnosing psychiactric conditions is pointless, you're more likley to be right by just saying you don't have the disorder no matter what the evidence is.
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cjek

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#4 cjek
Member since 2003 • 14327 Posts
I have the same problem, and I don't think it's bipolar, which tends to be quite extreme. What happens for me is that I have a generally quite low overall happiness level, and sometimes it perks up for a little while, and then drops again when I realise nothing has changed. It's certainly not bipolar disorder, it's just you reverting back to your 'normal' state. As for the solution? I'm working on that one :P
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rawsavon

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#5 rawsavon
Member since 2004 • 40001 Posts
I know enough about the field of psychology to tell you that you need to go see a professional. There is no one, and I mean NO ONE, here that could give any sort of helpful diagnosis after reading a half page description and not knowing anything else about you. Also, MOST people are not able to self diagnose correctly b/c they are too close to the situation (obviously), have biases (from the little they think they have learned about psychology), and from a general lack of knowledge. I realize that this is not what you wanted to hear. But you sound like you are suffering a great deal. I would try and find a good psychologist in your area to help diagnose and treat your issues. -it may take some time to find a good one and one that is a good match (personality and treatment $tyle). I wish you the best of luck though
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dazzzilla

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#6 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

I am not a fan for medication though, seriously I've read bipolar can't be cured just helped by drugging up, I have seen first hand someone 100% normal who was depressed start using medication about 15 years ago the last 2 years they have been in and out of the mental institute 2 times only because using the medication for a prolonged period has affected more than helped.

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markop2003

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#7 markop2003
Member since 2005 • 29917 Posts
If the first response of a psychiatrist is to give you medication then you've gone to a bad one. CBT and such theropies should always be given first.
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dazzzilla

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#8 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

Can a GP help me at all? say if I talked to him would he be able to tell me anything other than go to a shrink.

Really really really want to avoid shrinks at all costs.

On a side thing, Ive noticed that when I listen to music I get I don't know really hyped up is this normal :P?

And my mood is generally really crap in the morning but at night say 11pm-2am I am happy and well ok for the most part.

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rawsavon

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#9 rawsavon
Member since 2004 • 40001 Posts

I am not a fan for medication though, seriously I've read bipolar can't be cured just helped by drugging up, I have seen first hand someone 100% normal who was depressed start using medication about 15 years ago the last 2 years they have been in and out of the mental institute 2 times only because using the medication for a prolonged period has affected more than helped.

dazzzilla
There are several disorders that are only treatable through medication at this time -understandable with Psychology being as a young a field as it is It is your choice to take any prescribed medication or not Would it not be better to see what your life is like on medication vs off -you can always choose to stop taking it if you feel life is not better on it -this is all taking into account that you actually have a disorder...many people are convinced that they do, when, in all actuality, they do not...part of the personal biases I was talking about
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dazzzilla

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#10 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

That is the thing though, the way I see it a person on medication will not know how they are acting in the view of others, I am sure that the person I know of who has been medicated for so long they have no idea how irrational some of their decisions and doings are, they think its right to do such stupid things, but in the view of others its extremely worrying and dangerous in cases.

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rawsavon

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#11 rawsavon
Member since 2004 • 40001 Posts

That is the thing though, the way I see it a person on medication will not know how they are acting in the view of others, I am sure that the person I know of who has been medicated for so long they have no idea how irrational some of their decisions and doings are, they think its right to do such stupid things, but in the view of others its extremely worrying and dangerous in cases.

dazzzilla
How great is your life right now? -my guess is that it is pretty crappy (hence the thread) At this point, you need to focus on you. In your current state, you probably make everyone around you miserable as it is (just being honest). Who wants to hag around 'Debbie Downer'?...no one -so you need to focus on getting yourself right and feeling well
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dazzzilla

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#12 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

I just can't see that happening, I personally have nothing to look forward to in life.

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wolverine4262

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#13 wolverine4262
Member since 2004 • 20832 Posts
I was diagnosed with depression at an early age and have social anxiety issues. I took medications for 3 years, but I decided I didnt want to be dependent on it. . The best tip I can give you is to at least speak with you doctor about it. He can give you advice and recommend a specialist. I doubt you are bi-polar. That is a very serious disorder, but I am not a professional...
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weezyfb

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#14 weezyfb
Member since 2009 • 14703 Posts
Doctor. Visit One.
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rawsavon

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#15 rawsavon
Member since 2004 • 40001 Posts

I just can't see that happening, I personally have nothing to look forward to in life.

dazzzilla
If that is your attitude, then why go on... If your life sucks and you are not willing to at least TRY and do something about it, then why go on. Seems pointless to me. I have no sympathy for people that fail to try. (if you can't already tell, I am a big fan of confrontational therapy)
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UnknownElement4

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#16 UnknownElement4
Member since 2008 • 2603 Posts

Go see a specialist, see what they say. Thats honestly all i can recommend.

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poptart

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#17 poptart
Member since 2003 • 7284 Posts

Go see the doctor first – he'll probably send you off for a couple of blood tests to start with (check your thyroid gland for example) pre-referring you to a psychiatrist if deemed necessary. I was diagnosed with bi-polar. Its manageable with medication, although I tried a couple of types before settling on one that worked.

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dazzzilla

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#18 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

[QUOTE="dazzzilla"]

I just can't see that happening, I personally have nothing to look forward to in life.

rawsavon

If that is your attitude, then why go on... If your life sucks and you are not willing to at least TRY and do something about it, then why go on. Seems pointless to me. I have no sympathy for people that fail to try. (if you can't already tell, I am a big fan of confrontational therapy)

Clearly it doesn't work because I've tried to do it to my self and it hasn't helped.

How fast does a mood swing if you have bipolar? is it a thing that happends alone? or is it things that trigger it?

I've always felt a bit down, I just sort of felt better during high school because there were always people I could talk to, now I just don't feel like going out or anything.

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wolverine4262

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#19 wolverine4262
Member since 2004 • 20832 Posts
I must say, it always helps to find a hobby, preferably, something healthy. When I was younger, I built model kits and that seemed to help a lot. It helps to have something you can look forward to.
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rawsavon

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#20 rawsavon
Member since 2004 • 40001 Posts

[QUOTE="rawsavon"][QUOTE="dazzzilla"]

I just can't see that happening, I personally have nothing to look forward to in life.

dazzzilla

If that is your attitude, then why go on... If your life sucks and you are not willing to at least TRY and do something about it, then why go on. Seems pointless to me. I have no sympathy for people that fail to try. (if you can't already tell, I am a big fan of confrontational therapy)

Clearly it doesn't work because I've tried to do it to my self and it hasn't helped.

That is why I said you need to find the right psychologist/psychiatrist for you (personality and therapy $yle)...does not happen over night...takes a while (usually)

How fast does a mood swing if you have bipolar? is it a thing that happends alone? or is it things that trigger it?

Every person is different.

I've always felt a bit down, I just sort of felt better during high school because there were always people I could talk to, now I just don't feel like going out or anything.

I am not going to try and diagnose you over the Internet...that would shortchange both you and I
-but you just have to decide if this is what you want for your life.
-either keep going on like this, be miserable...or quit being a baby and get some help and TRY to feel better (though I do not know if a confrontational $tyle therapy would be right for you)

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dazzzilla

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#21 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

I have never had a violent outburst of happiness 0_o? as google defines Mania.

I guess I do need help, I just don't know how to approach it, I have to say things have got pretty **** for me in the last few years, so it hasn't just been me that has got depressed randomly.

I do remember that I maybe wasn't much different when I was younger? I remember back in 2001 when I was 9.5 years old, I would constantly have bad thoughts at certain times of the day and just feel down and like crying even back then.

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dazzzilla

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#22 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

I forgot to mention I did visit my Uni's conusellor before I left and she was next to useless with a basic issue, asked her wheter or not I should consider leaving a course, all she kept saying ' Oh you know its your choice' clearly, but I came to get pointed into the right direction because I didn't feel like the course was for me, yet I think I quit because I have lost all the will to do anything.

I also did visit my doctor earlier in the year regarding anxiety, as I wa shaving it alot before shifts at work and his repsonse was I don't like medicine for this stuff, just find a hobby and relax.

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Dariency

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#23 Dariency
Member since 2003 • 9431 Posts

You might have an anxity disorder or depression, which usually accompany one another. I have anxiety disorder and am on medication for it. They do help sometimes, but they don't really make your life "better". Only you can get out there and enjoy it.

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dazzzilla

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#24 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

I'll talk to the parents for the 100th time about this and tell them I should see a doctor, seriously its so difficult, I have no clue where this is going and I doubt that it will end well, but oh well not everyone can have a great life.

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dazzzilla

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#25 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

Well I've let my mum know that I want to see a doctor, I've also told her how much its annoying me, I however think the doctor will do nothing because they are well not very caring when it comes to depression etc.

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UbiquitousAeon

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#26 UbiquitousAeon
Member since 2010 • 2099 Posts

Well I've let my mum know that I want to see a doctor, I've also told her how much its annoying me, I however think the doctor will do nothing because they are well not very caring when it comes to depression etc.

dazzzilla
When I'm depressed, I drink myself happy, but you're probably too young for that.
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dazzzilla

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#27 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

Nah not really I turned 18 a fortnight ago.

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-Iconoclast-

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#28 -Iconoclast-
Member since 2005 • 6506 Posts

Most gamespot posters here don't have clinical psychology degree.

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jeremiah06

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#29 jeremiah06
Member since 2004 • 7217 Posts

Most gamespot posters here don't have clinical psychology degree.

-Iconoclast-
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dazzzilla

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#30 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

Most gamespot posters here don't have clinical psychology degree.

-Iconoclast-

Which is exactly why I stated it in my original message, I came here for some guidance not to be diagnosed.

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kuraimen

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#31 kuraimen
Member since 2010 • 28078 Posts
Seek professional help. Professionals are there to help people and on this day and age there are multiple solutions for a lot of problems. You'll probably get more confused reading the responses on the internet, cut that all out and go straight to fixing your problem.
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dazzzilla

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#32 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

GP Appointment is on Wednesday I guess ill take it from there, im hoping so much that Ill feel great soon again :(.

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felixlynch777

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#33 felixlynch777
Member since 2008 • 1787 Posts
I have the same problem, and I don't think it's bipolar, which tends to be quite extreme. What happens for me is that I have a generally quite low overall happiness level, and sometimes it perks up for a little while, and then drops again when I realise nothing has changed. It's certainly not bipolar disorder, it's just you reverting back to your 'normal' state. As for the solution? I'm working on that one :Pcjek
LSD. You'll never be bored again.
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pete_merlin

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#34 pete_merlin
Member since 2007 • 6098 Posts

Hey everyone.

I've been having some serious issues since January, I've posted another thread regarding something similar but its been along time and I never asked this specifically.

Anyways since about Janauary I have been feeling I don't know extremely depressed, I have lost the will to do anything and at the same time I am miserable about sitting at home doing nothing looking for a job.

The issue is though I have no idea what I am suffering from, I originally thought it was just depression, but then when I looked into it I thought it was a anxiety isssue, because every time I had work or uni (When I went for a month) I got really nervous before hand. Then I thought I had social anxiety because I am not a very outgoing person, for example I am shy around people I don't know but once I get to know the people I am very talkative around them. But today I've been researching more and I've started to think its Bipolar disorder or something, I am not sure though. Firstly I am not here for a 100% diagnosis :P because I know its a games forum, but I know there are people here who are smart enough to explain this and sort of get the idea of what I mean.

Why did I think I had bipolar?

Well the last 2 years I've been very mood swingy by that I mean I am depressed then I am overly happy inside me. It's so difficult to explain correctly even writing it but I'll try get it a little bit more in depth. Say I get up in the morning I am usually down like hell, I think about starting uni again, I think about starting work again and I just don't feel like it because I am so depressed, however randomly during the day I can start to feel happy again but then I start to have doubts about things again and I feel depressed again. Over the last few years I've also gotten more 'angry' I guess, maybe its frustrations of life maybe something else, but when I'm playing a game I am more likely to break the controller than I was 4 or 5 years ago, it is also the same with anything else I tend to get to my snapping point alot earlier than a couple of years ago, and lately I have been extremely nostalgic.

I personally dont understand what is meant by 'Manic' when talking about bipolar, I have never been so happy that I start jumping around and smashing stuff ? I do however remember one time maybe in early february where I could not fall asleep of because how happy I was about buying something the next day (The something wasn't anything big or that I like, I know stupid) while being depressed only a few moments before, since then I've never had such an outrageous happiness.

Any help would be appreciated thanks heaps.

dazzzilla
I dont see the point in me reading all of this. If you feel depressed then you should see a doctor as they can help, gamespot on the other hand will not help, unless you see a pretty darn good YLYL that is.
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rawsavon

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#35 rawsavon
Member since 2004 • 40001 Posts

Most gamespot posters here don't have clinical psychology degree.

-Iconoclast-
and those of us that do are smart enough to know that no diagnosis can be formed from a half-page post and that he needs to get legitimate professional help from a licensed professional to obtain a proper diagnosis and treatment plan
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dazzzilla

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#36 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

Just wondering because the last half a year I have been suffering with severe nostalgia, like I mean to the point where I nearly cry over moments that I miss from my child hood, is this caused by depression? or does depression cause this?

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dazzzilla

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#37 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

Anyone who can give me some insight into the last question?

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Dariency

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#38 Dariency
Member since 2003 • 9431 Posts

I miss my childhood, but don't cry over it, because what's in the past is in the past. What you can do though is try to make your future as much like your childhood as possible. Make it fun, easy, and enjoyable. Do that, and you may be able to enjoy your adulthood more than your childhood. It may not be easy, and it won't happen in a day, but you can do it.

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airshocker

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#39 airshocker
Member since 2006 • 31700 Posts

I don't think anyone in OT has degrees in psychology.

Maybe you need to go see one instead of asking for advice here.

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WheresKinggiAt

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#40 WheresKinggiAt
Member since 2004 • 7407 Posts

I don't think anyone in OT has degrees in psychology.

Maybe you need to go see one instead of asking for advice here.

airshocker

I have a degree in psychology, though my views differ from most others in the field.

OP first of all I'd like to state I don't believe in bipolar disorder. I think it is a cop-out for people who are too awkward or weak to handle the mood swings or actions of the real world. It is a psychiatric diagnosis that tons of people have conducted research on and there no genetic links and basically the only way to get it is to hate yourself or be depressed all the time. Even by society's definition of bipolar disorder which I don't agree with there are 100 losers who think they have it for every 1 who does.

Sometimes going to therapy works for people like you. Sometimes getting some sort of meds works. There is no "cure" because it isn't a disease/disorder. The only cure is to fix your life and make yourself happy with yourself. Good luck doing whatever it is you do but the first step is realizing you have a problem and you have already done that. Now stop moping around and actually enjoy life.

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WheresKinggiAt

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#41 WheresKinggiAt
Member since 2004 • 7407 Posts

Just wondering because the last half a year I have been suffering with severe nostalgia, like I mean to the point where I nearly cry over moments that I miss from my child hood, is this caused by depression? or does depression cause this?

dazzzilla

This is caused by being unhappy with your current life. Fix it.

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poptart

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#42 poptart
Member since 2003 • 7284 Posts

[QUOTE="airshocker"]

I don't think anyone in OT has degrees in psychology.

Maybe you need to go see one instead of asking for advice here.

WheresKinggiAt

I have a degree in psychology, though my views differ from most others in the field.

OP first of all I'd like to state I don't believe in bipolar disorder. I think it is a cop-out for people who are too awkward or weak to handle the mood swings or actions of the real world. It is a psychiatric diagnosis that tons of people have conducted research on and there no genetic links and basically the only way to get it is to hate yourself or be depressed all the time. Even by society's definition of bipolar disorder which I don't agree with there are 100 losers who think they have it for every 1 who does.

Sometimes going to therapy works for people like you. Sometimes getting some sort of meds works. There is no "cure" because it isn't a disease/disorder. The only cure is to fix your life and make yourself happy with yourself. Good luck doing whatever it is you do but the first step is realizing you have a problem and you have already done that. Now stop moping around and actually enjoy life.

Well I have a degree in psychology and I was diagnosed with bi-polar some 3 years ago or so. It's fairly mild, but enough to be disruptive and inhibit living a normal life. And yes it's a hard one to diagnose (and rather expensive I may add), but I'm surprised a person with a psych background would be so dismissive of such a thing. Trust me – I wouldn't want to impose it on anyone.

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dazzzilla

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#43 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

That is the thing, I have no clue whats making me depressed or what I need to change, but its affecting me badly, its caused me to drop out from uni, quit my job all because I tried to find the culprit and it was none of those. I am personally boggled as to how I will manage to find the root problem of this because I simply don't know what it is or where to look.

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lloveLamp

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#44 lloveLamp
Member since 2009 • 2891 Posts
Well for one thing maybe see a psychiatrist. I really don't think you're bipolar, that's usually more extreme then what you're explaining here. But even so a lot of mental disorders aren't all black and white, rather a complete shade of gray, so you could just have a mild case of it. But if you're really hindered in your day to day life by issues like these I see no problem seeking professional help.
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#45 lloveLamp
Member since 2009 • 2891 Posts

[QUOTE="WheresKinggiAt"]

[QUOTE="airshocker"]

I don't think anyone in OT has degrees in psychology.

Maybe you need to go see one instead of asking for advice here.

poptart

I have a degree in psychology, though my views differ from most others in the field.

OP first of all I'd like to state I don't believe in bipolar disorder. I think it is a cop-out for people who are too awkward or weak to handle the mood swings or actions of the real world. It is a psychiatric diagnosis that tons of people have conducted research on and there no genetic links and basically the only way to get it is to hate yourself or be depressed all the time. Even by society's definition of bipolar disorder which I don't agree with there are 100 losers who think they have it for every 1 who does.

Sometimes going to therapy works for people like you. Sometimes getting some sort of meds works. There is no "cure" because it isn't a disease/disorder. The only cure is to fix your life and make yourself happy with yourself. Good luck doing whatever it is you do but the first step is realizing you have a problem and you have already done that. Now stop moping around and actually enjoy life.

Well I have a degree in psychology and I was diagnosed with bi-polar some 3 years ago or so. It's fairly mild, but enough to be disruptive and inhibit living a normal life. And yes it's a hard one to diagnose (and rather expensive I may add), but I'm surprised a person with a psych background would be so dismissive of such a thing. Trust me – I wouldn't want to impose it on anyone.

I also have a degree in psychology. I like panda bears and macdonald's.
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#46 poptart
Member since 2003 • 7284 Posts

That is the thing, I have no clue whats making me depressed or what I need to change, but its affecting me badly, its caused me to drop out from uni, quit my job all because I tried to find the culprit and it was none of those. I am personally boggled as to how I will manage to find the root problem of this because I simply don't know what it is or where to look.

dazzzilla

You see that's what a psychologist/psychiatrist is for – it's can be a fairly arduous process, however if there's something there that's having a relatively substantial affect upon you life then it's worth getting it sorted out. Its hard to introspect and self-diagnose - an external consultant be it for health, work, life, etc can be useful.

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poptart

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#47 poptart
Member since 2003 • 7284 Posts

[QUOTE="poptart"]

[QUOTE="WheresKinggiAt"]I have a degree in psychology, though my views differ from most others in the field.

OP first of all I'd like to state I don't believe in bipolar disorder. I think it is a cop-out for people who are too awkward or weak to handle the mood swings or actions of the real world. It is a psychiatric diagnosis that tons of people have conducted research on and there no genetic links and basically the only way to get it is to hate yourself or be depressed all the time. Even by society's definition of bipolar disorder which I don't agree with there are 100 losers who think they have it for every 1 who does.

Sometimes going to therapy works for people like you. Sometimes getting some sort of meds works. There is no "cure" because it isn't a disease/disorder. The only cure is to fix your life and make yourself happy with yourself. Good luck doing whatever it is you do but the first step is realizing you have a problem and you have already done that. Now stop moping around and actually enjoy life.

lloveLamp

Well I have a degree in psychology and I was diagnosed with bi-polar some 3 years ago or so. It's fairly mild, but enough to be disruptive and inhibit living a normal life. And yes it's a hard one to diagnose (and rather expensive I may add), but I'm surprised a person with a psych background would be so dismissive of such a thing. Trust me – I wouldn't want to impose it on anyone.

I also have a degree in psychology. I like panda bears and macdonald's.

Well that's just lovely isn't it

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#48 lloveLamp
Member since 2009 • 2891 Posts
why yes it is
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#49 Tessellation
Member since 2009 • 9297 Posts
I been feeling the same for like a month or something,specially that my life made a 180 turn again...i just don't know it might be that i feel like this after my girlfriend of 4 years leave me for another guy...there is day i feel normal,others like happy and then my sorrow and sad days..i been visiting the phychologist..she saids im doing better than before..but to be honest i kind of sucks having these mood changes...
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dazzzilla

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#50 dazzzilla
Member since 2006 • 1246 Posts

I been feeling the same for like a month or something,specially that my life made a 180 turn again...i just don't know it might be that i feel like this after my girlfriend of 4 years leave me for another guy...there is day i feel normal,others like happy and then my sorrow and sad days..i been visiting the phychologist..she saids im doing better than before..but to be honest i kind of sucks having these mood changes...Tessellation

Do you feel like the therapy has helped you at all?