I've been having some serious issues since January, I've posted another thread regarding something similar but its been along time and I never asked this specifically.
Anyways since about Janauary I have been feeling I don't know extremely depressed, I have lost the will to do anything and at the same time I am miserable about sitting at home doing nothing looking for a job.
The issue is though I have no idea what I am suffering from, I originally thought it was just depression, but then when I looked into it I thought it was a anxiety isssue, because every time I had work or uni (When I went for a month) I got really nervous before hand. Then I thought I had social anxiety because I am not a very outgoing person, for example I am shy around people I don't know but once I get to know the people I am very talkative around them. But today I've been researching more and I've started to think its Bipolar disorder or something, I am not sure though. Firstly I am not here for a 100% diagnosis :P because I know its a games forum, but I know there are people here who are smart enough to explain this and sort of get the idea of what I mean.
Why did I think I had bipolar?
Well the last 2 years I've been very mood swingy by that I mean I am depressed then I am overly happy inside me. It's so difficult to explain correctly even writing it but I'll try get it a little bit more in depth. Say I get up in the morning I am usually down like hell, I think about starting uni again, I think about starting work again and I just don't feel like it because I am so depressed, however randomly during the day I can start to feel happy again but then I start to have doubts about things again and I feel depressed again. Over the last few years I've also gotten more 'angry' I guess, maybe its frustrations of life maybe something else, but when I'm playing a game I am more likely to break the controller than I was 4 or 5 years ago, it is also the same with anything else I tend to get to my snapping point alot earlier than a couple of years ago, and lately I have been extremely nostalgic.
I personally dont understand what is meant by 'Manic' when talking about bipolar, I have never been so happy that I start jumping around and smashing stuff ? I do however remember one time maybe in early february where I could not fall asleep of because how happy I was about buying something the next day (The something wasn't anything big or that I like, I know stupid) while being depressed only a few moments before, since then I've never had such an outrageous happiness.
Any help would be appreciated thanks heaps.