My left nut is missing

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Primordialous

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#1 Primordialous
Member since 2012 • 1313 Posts

-.-

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mems_1224

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#2 mems_1224
Member since 2004 • 56919 Posts
Grow some balls, stop being a sissy
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Mr_Spotswood

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#3 Mr_Spotswood
Member since 2005 • 2525 Posts

Take some Xanax.

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michael_1234576

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#4 michael_1234576
Member since 2004 • 8621 Posts
Be yourself and anyone who doesn't like you for who you are probably isn't worth your time.
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GalvatronType_R

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#5 GalvatronType_R
Member since 2003 • 3106 Posts
Serious answers: -presentation and looks count; if you want to be more successful talking to women, start by improving your image, i.e., start working out, wear better clothes, get well groomed (nice haircut, take care of your skin, etc.); trust me, when you look good, you'll feel good and you'll perform good -talk to women as if you are talking to find more friends but be a little more formal; keep in mind that you are not on familiar terms with her yet and women do not like overly casual speaking guys especially at first -while directness has its place, try not to be too direct but don't beat around the bush either; women love being courted and playing the game so indulge her, be nice, and mess with her a little bit in a polite and nice manner -most of all RELAX; if you don't succeed with one, I GUARANTEE that there will be another that will be more receptive
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Shmiity

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#6 Shmiity
Member since 2006 • 6625 Posts

Take some Xanax.

Mr_Spotswood

This.

(made me lol, nice)

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cheese_game619

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#7 cheese_game619
Member since 2005 • 13317 Posts
this used to be a problem for me until i - started taking better care about how i looked - took a job in sales to force myself out of my comfort zone - drank a lot of alcohol that was ages ago, now im great at it
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gamah_killah

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#8 gamah_killah
Member since 2006 • 13020 Posts
Talk to those girls like you would to any ugly kinds of people, you'd feel much comfortable.
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rocinante_

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#9 rocinante_
Member since 2012 • 1772 Posts

cliche advie, but just be yourself.

i know it's hard to open up like that at first, but so long as you make small talk and are (or come off as) genuinely interested in what the person you're talking to has to say, you will eventually get comfortable enough to show your truuuuuuuuuuuuuue colours shining throughhhhhhhhhhhh...

seriously though, just ask about their interests, how their day went, bring up current events, etc.--and go from there. it's easy when your break it down into steps.

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Hakumen21

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#10 Hakumen21
Member since 2013 • 359 Posts

Shut off your head, dont think with your brain,and go with your gut or balls instead .

No joke.

You are actually more in control if you think and put your energy into your 'gut', which is what ppl call the 'gut feeling'.

So, 

Go with your Gut!

just dont end up staring at her boobs or anything.  

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Baranga

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#11 Baranga
Member since 2005 • 14217 Posts

I think I might like.

Primordialous

You "think" you "might"?

Well, there's your first problem.

Don't overthink it.

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-Renegade

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#12 -Renegade
Member since 2007 • 8340 Posts

Be yourself and anyone who doesn't like you for who you are probably isn't worth your time. michael_1234576

this

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lamprey263

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#13 lamprey263
Member since 2006 • 44560 Posts
yes and no, I can carry on a conversation and get to know strangers but it feels like it takes too much effort for me to care about doing so
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TheHighWind

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#14 TheHighWind
Member since 2003 • 5724 Posts

Touch her shoulder..

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TehFuneral

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#15 TehFuneral
Member since 2007 • 8237 Posts

Just remember than no one gives a single fcvk about you.

and be yourself, because most people are not going to like you anyways.

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Angie7F

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#16 Angie7F
Member since 2011 • 1175 Posts

I am totally friendly and people like me a lto, but I get exhausted when i am around other people.

I feel awkward so I try to be pleasant, and that is soooo tiring.

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supa_badman

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#17 supa_badman
Member since 2008 • 16714 Posts

If you think you're a loser, you probably are.

So change that.

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Michael0134567

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#19 Michael0134567
Member since 2008 • 28651 Posts

I'm socially awkward too :o.

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jim_shorts

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#20 jim_shorts
Member since 2006 • 7320 Posts

Everyone has their awkward moments, but I wouldn't say it's a consistent problem for me.

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jim_shorts

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#21 jim_shorts
Member since 2006 • 7320 Posts

Touch her shoulder..

TheHighWind
That brings me back to 2008.
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iaasc

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#22 iaasc
Member since 2005 • 1337 Posts

I used to be like that too but I got a new job thats all physical labour and my confidence has leveled up, I would suggest doing something that makes you feel confident.  It does wonders.

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IdioticIcarus

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#23 IdioticIcarus
Member since 2012 • 2167 Posts
I'm definitely still social awkward, but it got a whole lot better when I got comfortable being myself. I look in a mirror now and actually think "Hey I look okay!" I don't try to dress up and be someone else for other people anymore. I think the point where I became comfortable being myself rather than wishing I was different was the point where everything started getting better for me. So I've gotta agree with the people that are saying to just be yourself. I mean, things like working out or improving your presentation are things that can help you become more comfortable being yourself, but it isn't about changing who you are. It's about working on improving the self you already are, and being comfortable with that.
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ghoklebutter

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#24 ghoklebutter
Member since 2007 • 19327 Posts

So long as you don't step on anyone's personal boundaries and you realize that, no matter who you are, there will always be people who don't like you for some reason, then you should be fine. The latter is much more difficult than the former, however.

By "personal boundaries," I'm specifically referring to what constitutes the comfort zone of every individual. When you are first meeting someone, don't ask possibly invasive questions (e.g. a question like "Have you ever had sex before?") or come off as possibly judgmental (e.g. "If I were you, I would try to lose that extra weight you have by heading to the gym"). Socially inept people generally invade others' comfort zones unknowingly, so it's important to keep in mind. What doesn't constitute invasive behavior is saying things like "Hey, what's up?" or "I really like your [insert clothing item]!" so long as you don't surprise them or something. Also not invasive is getting to know them by asking them about their favorite hobbies, movies, books, etc. or inviting them in a friendly way to do something with you. 

And then you have people who just don't like you. The fact is, there will always, always be someone who doesn't like you. You could be the nicest guy ever - you could respect people, be a sensitive listener, and act courteous in general. But some people will look past all of that and find a reason to dislike you anyway. Maybe it's your shoes. Or maybe you're just the kind of person some people happen to dislike. In any case, you need to learn to deal with people not liking you, people rejecting you (in the context of dating and relationships especially), and people having an entirely neutral attitude towards you. Only when you learn to deal with such people will the bulk of the burden of social anxiety get off your shoulders.

Another way to lessen your social anxiety is to become more empathetic. Empathy helps you discern how other people are feeling and hence how to act appropriately around people. And one easy way to strengthen your empathy is to listen more. You should try to listen at least as often as you speak. In fact, it's better to try to listen more than speak, although that's not always possible. Personally, by learning to listen to people more, I've strengthened my empathy greatly, and my empathy now makes it much easier to deal with people.

Those are just a few tips that come to mind, coming from someone who used to have abysmal social anxiety.

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Goyoshi12

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#25 Goyoshi12
Member since 2009 • 9687 Posts

I'm on a gaming website posting on their fourms in the Off-Topic Discussion threads.

What do you think?

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TheWalkingGhost

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#26 TheWalkingGhost
Member since 2012 • 6092 Posts

Anyone else experience this?

 

I mean, I have friends. A good bit of them, we laugh and joke a lot. But when it comes to starting conversations with new people (specifically women and girls) I just have a hard time. That's really bothering me, as there is the one girl that I see on campus a lot that I think I might like. Other than one conversation, the only thing I've been able to say is "Hey" when I pass by.

 

Share your stories/offer advice.

Primordialous
You really think the children here will give you a mature reply? Look at the first reply you got. Never ask these people anything, want help? Go ask your family.
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IdioticIcarus

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#27 IdioticIcarus
Member since 2012 • 2167 Posts
[QUOTE="Primordialous"]

Anyone else experience this?

 

I mean, I have friends. A good bit of them, we laugh and joke a lot. But when it comes to starting conversations with new people (specifically women and girls) I just have a hard time. That's really bothering me, as there is the one girl that I see on campus a lot that I think I might like. Other than one conversation, the only thing I've been able to say is "Hey" when I pass by.

 

Share your stories/offer advice.

TheWalkingGhost
You really think the children here will give you a mature reply? Look at the first reply you got. Never ask these people anything, want help? Go ask your family.

Well I think a few people in this thread have given quite good advice. Some things people have said I'm taking into consideration as well.
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super600

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#28 super600  Moderator
Member since 2007 • 33103 Posts

I experince that a lot around new people to, but it's getting better.

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Toph_Girl250

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#29 Toph_Girl250
Member since 2008 • 48978 Posts
In real life I tend to er uh wait, I don't think there's anyone I can really talk to, considering I live on Mars and all.
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PiscesChick93

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#30 PiscesChick93
Member since 2008 • 10732 Posts

I can be a little shy but if I get good vibes off someone I'll be at complete ease, whether I've known them 5 minutes or 5 years.

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dkdk999

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#31 dkdk999
Member since 2007 • 6754 Posts

I used to be like that too but I got a new job thats all physical labour and my confidence has leveled up, I would suggest doing something that makes you feel confident.  It does wonders.

iaasc
Hmm what about physical labor makes you feel confident ?
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The_Gaming_Baby

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#32 The_Gaming_Baby
Member since 2010 • 6425 Posts

I have 3 friends, one of which I see maybe once a month, the others I very rarely see. This is due to my awkwardness. Even today a girl told me she liked me and one of the reasons I turned her down was due to my inability to feel comfortable outside in a social environment. Do yourself a favor and work on being more social, because you don't want to end up like me

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signzoe

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#33 signzoe
Member since 2012 • 55 Posts

The youth of males these days seem clueless about women.

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AFBrat77

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#34 AFBrat77
Member since 2004 • 26848 Posts

So long as you don't step on anyone's personal boundaries and you realize that, no matter who you are, there will always be people who don't like you for some reason, then you should be fine. The latter is much more difficult than the former, however.

By "personal boundaries," I'm specifically referring to what constitutes the comfort zone of every individual. When you are first meeting someone, don't ask possibly invasive questions (e.g. a question like "Have you ever had sex before?") or come off as possibly judgmental (e.g. "If I were you, I would try to lose that extra weight you have by heading to the gym"). Socially inept people generally invade others' comfort zones unknowingly, so it's important to keep in mind. What doesn't constitute invasive behavior is saying things like "Hey, what's up?" or "I really like your [insert clothing item]!" so long as you don't surprise them or something. Also not invasive is getting to know them by asking them about their favorite hobbies, movies, books, etc. or inviting them in a friendly way to do something with you.

And then you have people who just don't like you. The fact is, there will always, always be someone who doesn't like you. You could be the nicest guy ever - you could respect people, be a sensitive listener, and act courteous in general. But some people will look past all of that and find a reason to dislike you anyway. Maybe it's your shoes. Or maybe you're just the kind of person some people happen to dislike. In any case, you need to learn to deal with people not liking you, people rejecting you (in the context of dating and relationships especially), and people having an entirely neutral attitude towards you. Only when you learn to deal with such people will the bulk of the burden of social anxiety get off your shoulders.

Another way to lessen your social anxiety is to become more empathetic. Empathy helps you discern how other people are feeling and hence how to act appropriately around people. And one easy way to strengthen your empathy is to listen more. You should try to listen at least as often as you speak. In fact, it's better to try to listen more than speak, although that's not always possible. Personally, by learning to listen to people more, I've strengthened my empathy greatly, and my empathy now makes it much easier to deal with people.

Those are just a few tips that come to mind, coming from someone who used to have abysmal social anxiety.

ghoklebutter

Bravo! I like this answer I must say.

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GeForce-

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#35 GeForce-
Member since 2013 • 305 Posts
Improving your appearance will help your confidence towards random people. Exercise and eat better, pack some muscles in and you should be more confident. Because you know you look good, which leads to good feeling about yourself.
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dramaybaz

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#36 dramaybaz
Member since 2005 • 6020 Posts
Then a point will come, when you will stop giving a f about the whole being good at or caring about socialising.
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MrGeezer

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#37 MrGeezer
Member since 2002 • 59765 Posts

Anyone else experience this?

 

I mean, I have friends. A good bit of them, we laugh and joke a lot. But when it comes to starting conversations with new people (specifically women and girls) I just have a hard time. That's really bothering me, as there is the one girl that I see on campus a lot that I think I might like. Other than one conversation, the only thing I've been able to say is "Hey" when I pass by.

 

Share your stories/offer advice.

Primordialous
1) I don't have any friends. I don't think I've had any friends since 1998. I'm also absolutely fine with that, since most "friends" end up just being acquaintances anyway. 2) As far as starting conversations goes, WHY are you trying to start a conversation? Is it because you have something to say, or because you just feel like you ought to say something? There's a big difference between the two, realize which one applies to you. 3) Social skills and confidence about social skills are exactly the same as everything else. You probably can't remember this far back, but you didn't pop out of the womb with the ability to walk and run. You had to try A LOT, you had to fail A LOT, then eventually you got good at it. Same thing here. I'm not gonna tell you that you should talk to people and approach people and initiate discussion with them. If you don't want to, then you don't want to. Fine, end of story. You don't think it's worth doing so you don't do it. But if you DO think it's something worth doing, then there's no substitute for just plain doing it and making an ass out of yourself in the process. Just f***ing talk to her. Then, after you've made an ass of yourself, determine what you did wrong and then either approach her again or use the knowledge gained from that experience to help you out with discussions involving different people. But practice is a necessity if you ever want to get good at it. You're afraid of failing, afraid of looking like a dumbass, but you WILL fail and you WILL look like a dumbass. Before anyone succeeds, they fail MANY times.
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Tessellation

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#38 Tessellation
Member since 2009 • 9297 Posts

acting shy got me really nice benefits with females :twisted:

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MirkoS77

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#39 MirkoS77
Member since 2011 • 17657 Posts

Just remember than no one gives a single fcvk about you.

and be yourself, because most people are not going to like you anyways.

TehFuneral
The problem with this thinking is that it takes self confidence to believe the above. I know others couldn't care less (aside from passing mockery and contempt), but I care due to insecurity. From that stems social anxiety. If I had confidence and liked myself, it wouldn't be an issue. Insecurity validates every other opinion except mine.
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MirkoS77

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#40 MirkoS77
Member since 2011 • 17657 Posts
[QUOTE="MrGeezer"] 3) Social skills and confidence about social skills are exactly the same as everything else. You probably can't remember this far back, but you didn't pop out of the womb with the ability to walk and run. You had to try A LOT, you had to fail A LOT, then eventually you got good at it. Same thing here. I'm not gonna tell you that you should talk to people and approach people and initiate discussion with them. If you don't want to, then you don't want to. Fine, end of story. You don't think it's worth doing so you don't do it. But if you DO think it's something worth doing, then there's no substitute for just plain doing it and making an ass out of yourself in the process. Just f***ing talk to her. Then, after you've made an ass of yourself, determine what you did wrong and then either approach her again or use the knowledge gained from that experience to help you out with discussions involving different people. But practice is a necessity if you ever want to get good at it. You're afraid of failing, afraid of looking like a dumbass, but you WILL fail and you WILL look like a dumbass. Before anyone succeeds, they fail MANY times.

You seem to give decent advice, so let me ask you something. I lack self-esteem/confidence which has plagued me my entire life. People tell me, "keep trying, it'll get easier and better and you'll gain more confidence, self-esteem, etc". So I try, and make an ass out of myself. The other person is uncomfortable as they sense insecurity and try to leave hastily. This experience is not a learning one. It is humiliating and disheartening, and it only reinforces what I already believe. I also have no idea of what I did wrong, as I have no "objective" right behavior to compare it to. There's no foundation to relations, everything is subjective. How can I start to get positive feedback that will help raise my confidence and self-esteem when self-esteem and confidence is the VERY THING I need to get it? Plainly put, I lack what I need to get what I lack. I have no idea how this works, and am frankly, clueless.
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deactivated-61cc564148ef4

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#41 deactivated-61cc564148ef4
Member since 2007 • 10909 Posts

Stop wearing a fedora

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LJS9502_basic

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#43 LJS9502_basic
Member since 2003 • 178844 Posts
Think you might like? You either do or you don't. There is no think....
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TheOwlMaster

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#44 TheOwlMaster
Member since 2013 • 1501 Posts
I'm sure theres people that are worse than you
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CptJSparrow

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#45 CptJSparrow
Member since 2007 • 10898 Posts
Practice, alcohol, bud, and something to make you feel more confident overall - e.g. weight training, martial arts.
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FinalFighters

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#46 FinalFighters
Member since 2013 • 3410 Posts
you dont have female friends? talk to the girl you like just as you would talk to any of your female friends
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deactivated-61cc564148ef4

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#47 deactivated-61cc564148ef4
Member since 2007 • 10909 Posts

Practice, alcohol, bud, and something to make you feel more confident overall - e.g. weight training, martial arts.CptJSparrow

Bud is usually better with people you know imo

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FinalFighters

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#48 FinalFighters
Member since 2013 • 3410 Posts

Practice, alcohol, bud, and something to make you feel more confident overall CptJSparrow
i agree with this also. im kinda a shy guy myself but whenever i drink or smoke bud i feel more confident to approach people..i call it the dr jekyll and mr hyde syndrome

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dkdk999

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#49 dkdk999
Member since 2007 • 6754 Posts
Think you might like? You either do or you don't. There is no think....LJS9502_basic
Really i'm that way with everything. "I think I like this TV show but not sure". I hate absolute statements.
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-Tish-

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#50 -Tish-
Member since 2007 • 3624 Posts
Well if you're really good looking like me you don't even have to worry about being socially adept. And whoever said smoking weed helps social anxiety is wrong. It has just the opposite effect.