I mean she is always busy with some stupid thing. Like church, homework, school, chores (her parents over-work her in my opinion), and she has very little free time, and whenever she does have free time, she really does not pay much attention to the fact that I just want to have a little phone conversation. Thats it. And most of her free time is after 9 PM, which sucks because her parents do not allow her to talk on the phone after 9 PM. We have not talked on the phone in weeks and its made me think that talking on the phone is some sort of taboo subject. Its almost made a kind set for me and I just cant take it. Its such a simple thing to want to do, and yet its made so complicated. My question is, do I confront her about my issue (I did not want to do this because im afraid of being "rude"), or do I just deal with it?
You're complaining about lack of communication, so be a man and communication yourself. Tell her how you are feeling and she might try to acoomodate you. If she doesn't, might as well move on. There's not reason to stay with someone who doesn't respect your needs and desires.
On the other hand, you have to respect the boundaries that she's had put on her by her parents.
How old are you? That relationship sounds terrible, break up with her and get a GF who is closer. Trust me, the one you got ain't going to work out in the long run.
Tell her, if it doesn't work, time for an ultimatum.
undergroundLPx
We have been together long enough to where an ultimatum would simply be ruining the relationship. Plus, I gave her an ultimatum on this subject about 4 months ago, and she just got upset and made no real choice.
How old are you? That relationship sounds terrible, break up with her and get a GF who is closer. Trust me, the one you got ain't going to work out in the long run.GhettoBlastin92
Its not terrible, (I am 14, she is 15), we get along quite well in almost every aspect, but still, I do all this stuff for her, and she cant even find just a little bit of time to just call me.
Tell her, if it doesn't work, time for an ultimatum.
Kevlar101
We have been together long enough to where an ultimatum would simply be ruining the relationship. Plus, I gave her an ultimatum on this subject about 4 months ago, and she just got upset and made no real choice.
[QUOTE="GhettoBlastin92"]How old are you? That relationship sounds terrible, break up with her and get a GF who is closer. Trust me, the one you got ain't going to work out in the long run.Kevlar101
Its not terrible, (I am 14, she is 15), we get along quite well in almost every aspect, but still, I do all this stuff for her, and she cant even find just a little bit of time to just call me.You can't find someone closer?
Tell her, if it doesn't work, time for an ultimatum.
AfroPirate
We have been together long enough to where an ultimatum would simply be ruining the relationship. Plus, I gave her an ultimatum on this subject about 4 months ago, and she just got upset and made no real choice.
That's kinda where you do theultimatum part.
No I DID give the ultimatum 4 months ago. I said "just call me sometimes or I will find someone who will". But she just cried and made no choice so I just felt bad and (REALLY bad), and then we just kinda went on with the same annoying routine that is described in the OP.
[QUOTE="Kevlar101"] We have been together long enough to where an ultimatum would simply be ruining the relationship. Plus, I gave her an ultimatum on this subject about 4 months ago, and she just got upset and made no real choice.Kevlar101
That's kinda where you do theultimatum part.
No I DID give the ultimatum 4 months ago. I said "just call me sometimes or I will find someone who will". But she just cried and made no choice so I just felt bad and (REALLY bad), and then we just kinda went on with the same annoying routine that is described in the OP.
That's well the "Or else kicks in." tbh treat her like a job. Keep her around till you find a new one, sure it's not nice but it's pretty much the only thing to do. It's not fair for her to not communicate and since it's a long distance relationship I HIGHLY doubt it will change. You've given the ultimatum and she doesn't want to follow with it, know you do the "Or else."
Now do what you want man... I mean damn it, it's your life.
At least she exists, well dude I'd get a real girlfriend, one that you can hang out with everyday one that you can see within a few mins walk Now if you're against that then welcome to the 21th century where facebook and twitter exist!!! Text her throught that!
No I DID give the ultimatum 4 months ago. I said "just call me sometimes or I will find someone who will". But she just cried and made no choice so I just felt bad and (REALLY bad), and then we just kinda went on with the same annoying routine that is described in the OP.
That's well the "Or else kicks in." tbh treat her like a job. Keep her around till you find a new one, sure it's not nice but it's pretty much the only thing to do. It's not fair for her to not communicate and since it's a long distance relationship I HIGHLY doubt it will change. You've given the ultimatum and she doesn't want to follow with it, know you do the "Or else."
Now do what you want man... I mean damn it, it's your life.
Well the craziest part is that we were together for like 5 months and had not even talked on the phone yet because she was "nervous". Now, here we are, 7 months into a relationship and we have talked on the phone 3 times.
[QUOTE="Kevlar101"] No I DID give the ultimatum 4 months ago. I said "just call me sometimes or I will find someone who will". But she just cried and made no choice so I just felt bad and (REALLY bad), and then we just kinda went on with the same annoying routine that is described in the OP.Kevlar101
That's well the "Or else kicks in." tbh treat her like a job. Keep her around till you find a new one, sure it's not nice but it's pretty much the only thing to do. It's not fair for her to not communicate and since it's a long distance relationship I HIGHLY doubt it will change. You've given the ultimatum and she doesn't want to follow with it, know you do the "Or else."
Now do what you want man... I mean damn it, it's your life.
Well the craziest part is that we were together for like 5 months and had not even talked on the phone yet because she was "nervous". Now, here we are, 7 months into a relationship and we have talked on the phone 3 times.
[QUOTE="Kevlar101"] No I DID give the ultimatum 4 months ago. I said "just call me sometimes or I will find someone who will". But she just cried and made no choice so I just felt bad and (REALLY bad), and then we just kinda went on with the same annoying routine that is described in the OP.Kevlar101
That's well the "Or else kicks in." tbh treat her like a job. Keep her around till you find a new one, sure it's not nice but it's pretty much the only thing to do. It's not fair for her to not communicate and since it's a long distance relationship I HIGHLY doubt it will change. You've given the ultimatum and she doesn't want to follow with it, know you do the "Or else."
Now do what you want man... I mean damn it, it's your life.
Well the craziest part is that we were together for like 5 months and had not even talked on the phone yet because she was "nervous". Now, here we are, 7 months into a relationship and we have talked on the phone 3 times.The last girl I was with, she and I almost never talked on the phone unless she wanted to see if I was free last minute. It's not the 90's anymore. The long phone calls are kind of going away. We almost always just texted.
so it's like she's the dude and you're the chick :P
seriously though tc, I don't know your situation. If you are doing this through long distance then I highly suggest skype. If you live in a close enough proxicimity and see her regularly I would count it as a blessing.
That's well the "Or else kicks in." tbh treat her like a job. Keep her around till you find a new one, sure it's not nice but it's pretty much the only thing to do. It's not fair for her to not communicate and since it's a long distance relationship I HIGHLY doubt it will change. You've given the ultimatum and she doesn't want to follow with it, know you do the "Or else."
Now do what you want man... I mean damn it, it's your life.
AfroPirate
Well the craziest part is that we were together for like 5 months and had not even talked on the phone yet because she was "nervous". Now, here we are, 7 months into a relationship and we have talked on the phone 3 times.
Talk to her about it. If she's not willing to make the time for you that you'd like, then maybe move on.
Pirate700
This. If you can't be supportive of her busy schedule (she's not intentionally blowing you off) or she can't make a little more time for you, then it sounds like the relationship is doomed.
Talk to her about it. If she's not willing to make the time for you that you'd like, then maybe move on.
Suzy_Q_Kazoo
This. If you can't be supportive of her busy schedule (she's not intentionally blowing you off) or she can't make a little more time for you, then it sounds like the relationship is doomed. Look, I totally understand that she has a busy schedule, and thats why i have not confronted her about this. But we have not talked on the phone in a month. You would think that she could find just a little bit of time. I know I would.
I mean she is always busy with some stupid thing. Like church, homework, school, chores (her parents over-work her in my opinion), and she has very little free time, and whenever she does have free time, she really does not pay much attention to the fact that I just want to have a little phone conversation. Thats it. And most of her free time is after 9 PM, which sucks because her parents do not allow her to talk on the phone after 9 PM. We have not talked on the phone in weeks and its made me think that talking on the phone is some sort of taboo subject. Its almost made a kind set for me and I just cant take it. Its such a simple thing to want to do, and yet its made so complicated. My question is, do I confront her about my issue (I did not want to do this because im afraid of being "rude"), or do I just deal with it?Kevlar101
[QUOTE="Kevlar101"] No I DID give the ultimatum 4 months ago. I said "just call me sometimes or I will find someone who will". But she just cried and made no choice so I just felt bad and (REALLY bad), and then we just kinda went on with the same annoying routine that is described in the OP.Kevlar101
That's well the "Or else kicks in." tbh treat her like a job. Keep her around till you find a new one, sure it's not nice but it's pretty much the only thing to do. It's not fair for her to not communicate and since it's a long distance relationship I HIGHLY doubt it will change. You've given the ultimatum and she doesn't want to follow with it, know you do the "Or else."
Now do what you want man... I mean damn it, it's your life.
Well the craziest part is that we were together for like 5 months and had not even talked on the phone yet because she was "nervous". Now, here we are, 7 months into a relationship and we have talked on the phone 3 times. I wouldn't call that a girlfriend... :| Have you ever met her irl?
Talk to her about it. If she's not willing to make the time for you that you'd like, then maybe move on.
Kevlar101
This. If you can't be supportive of her busy schedule (she's not intentionally blowing you off) or she can't make a little more time for you, then it sounds like the relationship is doomed. Look, I totally understand that she has a busy schedule, and thats why i have not confronted her about this. But we have not talked on the phone in a month. You would think that she could find just a little bit of time. I know I would.Again, talk to her before you talk to us. This is a situation you two need to discuss.
Talk to her about it. If she's not willing to make the time for you that you'd like, then maybe move on.
Kevlar101
This. If you can't be supportive of her busy schedule (she's not intentionally blowing you off) or she can't make a little more time for you, then it sounds like the relationship is doomed. Look, I totally understand that she has a busy schedule, and thats why i have not confronted her about this. But we have not talked on the phone in a month. You would think that she could find just a little bit of time. I know I would. It's not a good thing to keep something that is obviously bothering you to yourself. That builds resentment.
Be like, "Girlfriend, I understand that you are very busy and I am supportive of it, but I do miss you and would like to know if it'd be possible for us to speak more often". If she says yes then maybe come up with a once per week Skype session or something, if she says no be honest and tell her that you don't think you can continue with the relationship like this.
[QUOTE="Kevlar101"][QUOTE="Suzy_Q_Kazoo"] This. If you can't be supportive of her busy schedule (she's not intentionally blowing you off) or she can't make a little more time for you, then it sounds like the relationship is doomed. Suzy_Q_Kazoo
Look, I totally understand that she has a busy schedule, and thats why i have not confronted her about this. But we have not talked on the phone in a month. You would think that she could find just a little bit of time. I know I would. It's not a good thing to keep something that is obviously bothered you to yourself. Be like, "Girlfriend, I understand that you are very busy and I am supportive of it, but I do miss you and would like to know if it'd be possible for us to speak more often". If she says yes then maybe come up with a once per week Skype session or something, if she says no be honest and tell her that you don't think you can continue with the relationship like this. Off the top of my head.Communication makes too much sense for some relationships, sadly.
Now that I think about it, its quite suspicious because we do meet in person from time to time, and we were planning to try to hang out over mid October but she told me that she has not even asked her parents about it yet..... she usually does and is very excited about it........
Now that I think about it, its quite suspicious because we do meet in person from time to time, and we were planning to try to hang out over mid October but she told me that she has not even asked her parents about it yet..... she usually does and is very excited about it........Kevlar101
She hasn't asked her parents yet...what? Dude. Move on.
[QUOTE="Kevlar101"]Now that I think about it, its quite suspicious because we do meet in person from time to time, and we were planning to try to hang out over mid October but she told me that she has not even asked her parents about it yet..... she usually does and is very excited about it........Pirate700
She hasn't asked her parents yet...what? Dude. Move on. :(
[QUOTE="Kevlar101"]Now that I think about it, its quite suspicious because we do meet in person from time to time, and we were planning to try to hang out over mid October but she told me that she has not even asked her parents about it yet..... she usually does and is very excited about it........Kevlar101
She hasn't asked her parents yet...what? Dude. Move on. :(Needing to ask her folks ususally means one of two things. She either has over controlling parents or her folks may not like you. Either way, it doesn't typically end well.
[QUOTE="Kevlar101"][QUOTE="Pirate700"]She hasn't asked her parents yet...what? Dude. Move on.
Pirate700
:(Needing to ask her folks ususally means one of two things. She either has over controlling parents or her folks may not like you. Either way, it doesn't typically end well. Well she has to ask her parents if the date for me and her to meet is ok. And her religion makes her parents super controlling of her, and super suspicious of guys she is with. Also, to those of you that have recommended facebook and skype, yes, we have those.
Why can't some people on here ever talk with their GF's about their problems? Whey do they come here instead of their significant other?
Pirate700
Because from the sounds of it, she's not even his GF, or not a conventional one anyway. it's just a dilemma with a girl he likes and talks to. He should stop this charade of a relationship because it doesn't sound like much. And the more you leave it the more you're going to be frustrated with communication issues, also the fact that they are not even intimate is another thing. And once it ends he will be devastated so much more because of it.
Needing to ask her folks ususally means one of two things. She either has over controlling parents or her folks may not like you. Either way, it doesn't typically end well. Well she has to ask her parents if the date for me and her to meet is ok. And her religion makes her parents super controlling of her, and super suspicious of guys she is with. Also, to those of you that have recommended facebook and skype, yes, we have those.Dude, flat out, tell her you need more time together. If she can't fulfill that, move on. It's not that hard. By the sound of it you're never together anyway so it shouldn't matter much.
Log in to comment