Me and my girlfriend are never able to talk on the phone anymore

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Kevlar101

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#1 Kevlar101
Member since 2011 • 6316 Posts
I mean she is always busy with some stupid thing. Like church, homework, school, chores (her parents over-work her in my opinion), and she has very little free time, and whenever she does have free time, she really does not pay much attention to the fact that I just want to have a little phone conversation. Thats it. And most of her free time is after 9 PM, which sucks because her parents do not allow her to talk on the phone after 9 PM. We have not talked on the phone in weeks and its made me think that talking on the phone is some sort of taboo subject. Its almost made a kind set for me and I just cant take it. Its such a simple thing to want to do, and yet its made so complicated. My question is, do I confront her about my issue (I did not want to do this because im afraid of being "rude"), or do I just deal with it?
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worlock77

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#2 worlock77
Member since 2009 • 22552 Posts

You should get a real girlfriend. One that you can actually see, and touch and even be in the same state with.

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deactivated-5b78379493e12

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#3 deactivated-5b78379493e12
Member since 2005 • 15625 Posts

You're complaining about lack of communication, so be a man and communication yourself. Tell her how you are feeling and she might try to acoomodate you. If she doesn't, might as well move on. There's not reason to stay with someone who doesn't respect your needs and desires.

On the other hand, you have to respect the boundaries that she's had put on her by her parents.

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shadowkiller11

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#4 shadowkiller11
Member since 2008 • 7956 Posts
Tell her, come to some sort of arrangement weather good or bad or just continuing to do this until you can't take it. Don't you meet in person?
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DrTrafalgarLaw

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#5 DrTrafalgarLaw
Member since 2011 • 4487 Posts

You just confront her with it, but in a way that does not make her guilty. Homework and church aren't stupid things.

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Kevlar101

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#6 Kevlar101
Member since 2011 • 6316 Posts
Don't you meet in person?shadowkiller11
eh, we live 200 miles apart, we see each other in person about once every 1 or 2 months. We hang out for a few days each time.
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undergroundLPx

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#7 undergroundLPx
Member since 2003 • 710 Posts

Tell her, if it doesn't work, time for an ultimatum.

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worlock77

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#8 worlock77
Member since 2009 • 22552 Posts

[QUOTE="shadowkiller11"] Don't you meet in person?Kevlar101
eh, we live 200 miles apart, we see each other in person about once every 1 or 2 months. We hang out for a few days each time.

Wait, you two have met? Since when?

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GhettoBlastin92

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#9 GhettoBlastin92
Member since 2012 • 1231 Posts
How old are you? That relationship sounds terrible, break up with her and get a GF who is closer. Trust me, the one you got ain't going to work out in the long run.
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Kevlar101

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#10 Kevlar101
Member since 2011 • 6316 Posts

Tell her, if it doesn't work, time for an ultimatum.

undergroundLPx
We have been together long enough to where an ultimatum would simply be ruining the relationship. Plus, I gave her an ultimatum on this subject about 4 months ago, and she just got upset and made no real choice.
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Kevlar101

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#11 Kevlar101
Member since 2011 • 6316 Posts
How old are you? That relationship sounds terrible, break up with her and get a GF who is closer. Trust me, the one you got ain't going to work out in the long run.GhettoBlastin92
Its not terrible, (I am 14, she is 15), we get along quite well in almost every aspect, but still, I do all this stuff for her, and she cant even find just a little bit of time to just call me.
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gamerguru100

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#12 gamerguru100
Member since 2009 • 12717 Posts

At least you have a girlfriend.

/foreveralone

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AfroPirate

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#13 AfroPirate
Member since 2008 • 675 Posts

[QUOTE="undergroundLPx"]

Tell her, if it doesn't work, time for an ultimatum.

Kevlar101

We have been together long enough to where an ultimatum would simply be ruining the relationship. Plus, I gave her an ultimatum on this subject about 4 months ago, and she just got upset and made no real choice.

That's kinda where you do theultimatum part.

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WiiCubeM1

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#14 WiiCubeM1
Member since 2009 • 4735 Posts

You are in a golden oppurtunity most of us wish we were in, and you're the one who wants to talk on the phone?

How old are you?

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chaplainDMK

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#15 chaplainDMK
Member since 2008 • 7004 Posts
Skype?
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Kage1

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#16 Kage1
Member since 2003 • 6802 Posts

She's seeing someone else. Probably a guy named Chad or Biff.

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DrTrafalgarLaw

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#17 DrTrafalgarLaw
Member since 2011 • 4487 Posts

At least you have a girlfriend.

/foreveralone

gamerguru100
I like being forever alone, more time to spend on games. :cool:
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GhettoBlastin92

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#18 GhettoBlastin92
Member since 2012 • 1231 Posts
[QUOTE="GhettoBlastin92"]How old are you? That relationship sounds terrible, break up with her and get a GF who is closer. Trust me, the one you got ain't going to work out in the long run.Kevlar101
Its not terrible, (I am 14, she is 15), we get along quite well in almost every aspect, but still, I do all this stuff for her, and she cant even find just a little bit of time to just call me.

You can't find someone closer?
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Kevlar101

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#19 Kevlar101
Member since 2011 • 6316 Posts

[QUOTE="Kevlar101"][QUOTE="undergroundLPx"]

Tell her, if it doesn't work, time for an ultimatum.

AfroPirate

We have been together long enough to where an ultimatum would simply be ruining the relationship. Plus, I gave her an ultimatum on this subject about 4 months ago, and she just got upset and made no real choice.

That's kinda where you do theultimatum part.

No I DID give the ultimatum 4 months ago. I said "just call me sometimes or I will find someone who will". But she just cried and made no choice so I just felt bad and (REALLY bad), and then we just kinda went on with the same annoying routine that is described in the OP.
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GhettoBlastin92

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#20 GhettoBlastin92
Member since 2012 • 1231 Posts

She's seeing someone else. Probably a guy named Chad or Biff.

Kage1
Probably a Justin, you know kids these days. My money is on a Justin in her life.
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AfroPirate

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#21 AfroPirate
Member since 2008 • 675 Posts

[QUOTE="AfroPirate"]

[QUOTE="Kevlar101"] We have been together long enough to where an ultimatum would simply be ruining the relationship. Plus, I gave her an ultimatum on this subject about 4 months ago, and she just got upset and made no real choice.Kevlar101

That's kinda where you do theultimatum part.

No I DID give the ultimatum 4 months ago. I said "just call me sometimes or I will find someone who will". But she just cried and made no choice so I just felt bad and (REALLY bad), and then we just kinda went on with the same annoying routine that is described in the OP.

That's well the "Or else kicks in." tbh treat her like a job. Keep her around till you find a new one, sure it's not nice but it's pretty much the only thing to do. It's not fair for her to not communicate and since it's a long distance relationship I HIGHLY doubt it will change. You've given the ultimatum and she doesn't want to follow with it, know you do the "Or else."

Now do what you want man... I mean damn it, it's your life.

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GhettoBlastin92

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#22 GhettoBlastin92
Member since 2012 • 1231 Posts
Or maybe a Kyle, or Tucker.
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gamerguru100

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#23 gamerguru100
Member since 2009 • 12717 Posts
[QUOTE="gamerguru100"]

At least you have a girlfriend.

/foreveralone

DrTrafalgarLaw
I like being forever alone, more time to spend on games. :cool:

I've been playing games since I was 8. I think its time I get a GF.
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Darthkaiser

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#24 Darthkaiser
Member since 2006 • 12447 Posts
At least she exists, well dude I'd get a real girlfriend, one that you can hang out with everyday one that you can see within a few mins walk Now if you're against that then welcome to the 21th century where facebook and twitter exist!!! Text her throught that!
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Pirate700

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#25 Pirate700
Member since 2008 • 46465 Posts

Talk to her about it. If she's not willing to make the time for you that you'd like, then maybe move on.

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AfroPirate

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#26 AfroPirate
Member since 2008 • 675 Posts

[QUOTE="DrTrafalgarLaw"][QUOTE="gamerguru100"]

At least you have a girlfriend.

/foreveralone

gamerguru100

I like being forever alone, more time to spend on games. :cool:

I've been playing games since I was 8. I think its time I get a GF.

Then do something. It's really not that hard, once you get over the wall of actually talking to a girl. Just learn the in's and out's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64Ixzp94kswwatch their videos.

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Kevlar101

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#27 Kevlar101
Member since 2011 • 6316 Posts

[QUOTE="Kevlar101"][QUOTE="AfroPirate"]

That's kinda where you do theultimatum part.

AfroPirate

No I DID give the ultimatum 4 months ago. I said "just call me sometimes or I will find someone who will". But she just cried and made no choice so I just felt bad and (REALLY bad), and then we just kinda went on with the same annoying routine that is described in the OP.

That's well the "Or else kicks in." tbh treat her like a job. Keep her around till you find a new one, sure it's not nice but it's pretty much the only thing to do. It's not fair for her to not communicate and since it's a long distance relationship I HIGHLY doubt it will change. You've given the ultimatum and she doesn't want to follow with it, know you do the "Or else."

Now do what you want man... I mean damn it, it's your life.

Well the craziest part is that we were together for like 5 months and had not even talked on the phone yet because she was "nervous". Now, here we are, 7 months into a relationship and we have talked on the phone 3 times.
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AfroPirate

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#28 AfroPirate
Member since 2008 • 675 Posts

[QUOTE="AfroPirate"]

[QUOTE="Kevlar101"] No I DID give the ultimatum 4 months ago. I said "just call me sometimes or I will find someone who will". But she just cried and made no choice so I just felt bad and (REALLY bad), and then we just kinda went on with the same annoying routine that is described in the OP.Kevlar101

That's well the "Or else kicks in." tbh treat her like a job. Keep her around till you find a new one, sure it's not nice but it's pretty much the only thing to do. It's not fair for her to not communicate and since it's a long distance relationship I HIGHLY doubt it will change. You've given the ultimatum and she doesn't want to follow with it, know you do the "Or else."

Now do what you want man... I mean damn it, it's your life.

Well the craziest part is that we were together for like 5 months and had not even talked on the phone yet because she was "nervous". Now, here we are, 7 months into a relationship and we have talked on the phone 3 times.

Are you even dating?

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Pirate700

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#29 Pirate700
Member since 2008 • 46465 Posts

[QUOTE="AfroPirate"]

[QUOTE="Kevlar101"] No I DID give the ultimatum 4 months ago. I said "just call me sometimes or I will find someone who will". But she just cried and made no choice so I just felt bad and (REALLY bad), and then we just kinda went on with the same annoying routine that is described in the OP.Kevlar101

That's well the "Or else kicks in." tbh treat her like a job. Keep her around till you find a new one, sure it's not nice but it's pretty much the only thing to do. It's not fair for her to not communicate and since it's a long distance relationship I HIGHLY doubt it will change. You've given the ultimatum and she doesn't want to follow with it, know you do the "Or else."

Now do what you want man... I mean damn it, it's your life.

Well the craziest part is that we were together for like 5 months and had not even talked on the phone yet because she was "nervous". Now, here we are, 7 months into a relationship and we have talked on the phone 3 times.

The last girl I was with, she and I almost never talked on the phone unless she wanted to see if I was free last minute. It's not the 90's anymore. The long phone calls are kind of going away. We almost always just texted.

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Serraph105

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#30 Serraph105
Member since 2007 • 34114 Posts

so it's like she's the dude and you're the chick :P

seriously though tc, I don't know your situation. If you are doing this through long distance then I highly suggest skype. If you live in a close enough proxicimity and see her regularly I would count it as a blessing.

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GhettoBlastin92

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#31 GhettoBlastin92
Member since 2012 • 1231 Posts

[QUOTE="gamerguru100"][QUOTE="DrTrafalgarLaw"] I like being forever alone, more time to spend on games. :cool:AfroPirate

I've been playing games since I was 8. I think its time I get a GF.

Then do something. It's really not that hard, once you get over the wall of actually talking to a girl. Just learn the in's and out's

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64Ixzp94kswwatch their videos.

Seriously. Just take it slow, maybe set up an account on a dating website, go out and do more social activities. Goodluck.
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Shottayouth13-

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#32 Shottayouth13-
Member since 2009 • 7018 Posts
I think she found somebody else TC. Tough luck.
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Kevlar101

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#33 Kevlar101
Member since 2011 • 6316 Posts

[QUOTE="Kevlar101"][QUOTE="AfroPirate"]

That's well the "Or else kicks in." tbh treat her like a job. Keep her around till you find a new one, sure it's not nice but it's pretty much the only thing to do. It's not fair for her to not communicate and since it's a long distance relationship I HIGHLY doubt it will change. You've given the ultimatum and she doesn't want to follow with it, know you do the "Or else."

Now do what you want man... I mean damn it, it's your life.

AfroPirate

Well the craziest part is that we were together for like 5 months and had not even talked on the phone yet because she was "nervous". Now, here we are, 7 months into a relationship and we have talked on the phone 3 times.

Are you even dating?

According to her, yes.
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Suzy_Q_Kazoo

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#34 Suzy_Q_Kazoo
Member since 2010 • 9899 Posts

Talk to her about it. If she's not willing to make the time for you that you'd like, then maybe move on.

Pirate700
This. If you can't be supportive of her busy schedule (she's not intentionally blowing you off) or she can't make a little more time for you, then it sounds like the relationship is doomed.
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Pirate700

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#35 Pirate700
Member since 2008 • 46465 Posts

Why can't some people on here ever talk with their GF's about their problems? Whey do they come here instead of their significant other?

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deactivated-5b1e62582e305

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#36 deactivated-5b1e62582e305
Member since 2004 • 30778 Posts

She probably found better dick. Sorry OP.

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Kevlar101

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#37 Kevlar101
Member since 2011 • 6316 Posts
[QUOTE="Pirate700"]

Talk to her about it. If she's not willing to make the time for you that you'd like, then maybe move on.

Suzy_Q_Kazoo
This. If you can't be supportive of her busy schedule (she's not intentionally blowing you off) or she can't make a little more time for you, then it sounds like the relationship is doomed.

Look, I totally understand that she has a busy schedule, and thats why i have not confronted her about this. But we have not talked on the phone in a month. You would think that she could find just a little bit of time. I know I would.
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GummiRaccoon

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#38 GummiRaccoon
Member since 2003 • 13799 Posts

I mean she is always busy with some stupid thing. Like church, homework, school, chores (her parents over-work her in my opinion), and she has very little free time, and whenever she does have free time, she really does not pay much attention to the fact that I just want to have a little phone conversation. Thats it. And most of her free time is after 9 PM, which sucks because her parents do not allow her to talk on the phone after 9 PM. We have not talked on the phone in weeks and its made me think that talking on the phone is some sort of taboo subject. Its almost made a kind set for me and I just cant take it. Its such a simple thing to want to do, and yet its made so complicated. My question is, do I confront her about my issue (I did not want to do this because im afraid of being "rude"), or do I just deal with it?Kevlar101

She's seeing someone else.

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MonsieurX

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#39 MonsieurX
Member since 2008 • 39200 Posts
[QUOTE="AfroPirate"]

[QUOTE="Kevlar101"] No I DID give the ultimatum 4 months ago. I said "just call me sometimes or I will find someone who will". But she just cried and made no choice so I just felt bad and (REALLY bad), and then we just kinda went on with the same annoying routine that is described in the OP.Kevlar101

That's well the "Or else kicks in." tbh treat her like a job. Keep her around till you find a new one, sure it's not nice but it's pretty much the only thing to do. It's not fair for her to not communicate and since it's a long distance relationship I HIGHLY doubt it will change. You've given the ultimatum and she doesn't want to follow with it, know you do the "Or else."

Now do what you want man... I mean damn it, it's your life.

Well the craziest part is that we were together for like 5 months and had not even talked on the phone yet because she was "nervous". Now, here we are, 7 months into a relationship and we have talked on the phone 3 times.

I wouldn't call that a girlfriend... :| Have you ever met her irl?
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Pirate700

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#40 Pirate700
Member since 2008 • 46465 Posts

[QUOTE="Suzy_Q_Kazoo"][QUOTE="Pirate700"]

Talk to her about it. If she's not willing to make the time for you that you'd like, then maybe move on.

Kevlar101

This. If you can't be supportive of her busy schedule (she's not intentionally blowing you off) or she can't make a little more time for you, then it sounds like the relationship is doomed.

Look, I totally understand that she has a busy schedule, and thats why i have not confronted her about this. But we have not talked on the phone in a month. You would think that she could find just a little bit of time. I know I would.

Again, talk to her before you talk to us. This is a situation you two need to discuss.

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Suzy_Q_Kazoo

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#41 Suzy_Q_Kazoo
Member since 2010 • 9899 Posts

[QUOTE="Suzy_Q_Kazoo"][QUOTE="Pirate700"]

Talk to her about it. If she's not willing to make the time for you that you'd like, then maybe move on.

Kevlar101

This. If you can't be supportive of her busy schedule (she's not intentionally blowing you off) or she can't make a little more time for you, then it sounds like the relationship is doomed.

Look, I totally understand that she has a busy schedule, and thats why i have not confronted her about this. But we have not talked on the phone in a month. You would think that she could find just a little bit of time. I know I would.

It's not a good thing to keep something that is obviously bothering you to yourself. That builds resentment.

Be like, "Girlfriend, I understand that you are very busy and I am supportive of it, but I do miss you and would like to know if it'd be possible for us to speak more often". If she says yes then maybe come up with a once per week Skype session or something, if she says no be honest and tell her that you don't think you can continue with the relationship like this.

Off the top of my head.

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Pirate700

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#42 Pirate700
Member since 2008 • 46465 Posts

[QUOTE="Kevlar101"][QUOTE="Suzy_Q_Kazoo"] This. If you can't be supportive of her busy schedule (she's not intentionally blowing you off) or she can't make a little more time for you, then it sounds like the relationship is doomed. Suzy_Q_Kazoo
Look, I totally understand that she has a busy schedule, and thats why i have not confronted her about this. But we have not talked on the phone in a month. You would think that she could find just a little bit of time. I know I would.

It's not a good thing to keep something that is obviously bothered you to yourself. Be like, "Girlfriend, I understand that you are very busy and I am supportive of it, but I do miss you and would like to know if it'd be possible for us to speak more often". If she says yes then maybe come up with a once per week Skype session or something, if she says no be honest and tell her that you don't think you can continue with the relationship like this. Off the top of my head.

Communication makes too much sense for some relationships, sadly.

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Kevlar101

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#43 Kevlar101
Member since 2011 • 6316 Posts
Now that I think about it, its quite suspicious because we do meet in person from time to time, and we were planning to try to hang out over mid October but she told me that she has not even asked her parents about it yet..... she usually does and is very excited about it........
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GhettoBlastin92

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#44 GhettoBlastin92
Member since 2012 • 1231 Posts

She probably found better dick. Sorry OP.

Aljosa23
Justin, Kyle, Jacob and Tucker are dropping that D deep.
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Pirate700

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#45 Pirate700
Member since 2008 • 46465 Posts

Now that I think about it, its quite suspicious because we do meet in person from time to time, and we were planning to try to hang out over mid October but she told me that she has not even asked her parents about it yet..... she usually does and is very excited about it........Kevlar101
She hasn't asked her parents yet...what? Dude. Move on.

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Kevlar101

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#46 Kevlar101
Member since 2011 • 6316 Posts

[QUOTE="Kevlar101"]Now that I think about it, its quite suspicious because we do meet in person from time to time, and we were planning to try to hang out over mid October but she told me that she has not even asked her parents about it yet..... she usually does and is very excited about it........Pirate700

She hasn't asked her parents yet...what? Dude. Move on.

:(
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Pirate700

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#47 Pirate700
Member since 2008 • 46465 Posts

[QUOTE="Pirate700"]

[QUOTE="Kevlar101"]Now that I think about it, its quite suspicious because we do meet in person from time to time, and we were planning to try to hang out over mid October but she told me that she has not even asked her parents about it yet..... she usually does and is very excited about it........Kevlar101

She hasn't asked her parents yet...what? Dude. Move on.

:(

Needing to ask her folks ususally means one of two things. She either has over controlling parents or her folks may not like you. Either way, it doesn't typically end well.

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Kevlar101

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#48 Kevlar101
Member since 2011 • 6316 Posts

[QUOTE="Kevlar101"][QUOTE="Pirate700"]She hasn't asked her parents yet...what? Dude. Move on.

Pirate700

:(

Needing to ask her folks ususally means one of two things. She either has over controlling parents or her folks may not like you. Either way, it doesn't typically end well.

Well she has to ask her parents if the date for me and her to meet is ok. And her religion makes her parents super controlling of her, and super suspicious of guys she is with. Also, to those of you that have recommended facebook and skype, yes, we have those.
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shadowkiller11

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#49 shadowkiller11
Member since 2008 • 7956 Posts

Why can't some people on here ever talk with their GF's about their problems? Whey do they come here instead of their significant other?

Pirate700
Because from the sounds of it, she's not even his GF, or not a conventional one anyway. it's just a dilemma with a girl he likes and talks to. He should stop this charade of a relationship because it doesn't sound like much. And the more you leave it the more you're going to be frustrated with communication issues, also the fact that they are not even intimate is another thing. And once it ends he will be devastated so much more because of it.
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#50 Pirate700
Member since 2008 • 46465 Posts

[QUOTE="Pirate700"]

[QUOTE="Kevlar101"] :(Kevlar101

Needing to ask her folks ususally means one of two things. She either has over controlling parents or her folks may not like you. Either way, it doesn't typically end well.

Well she has to ask her parents if the date for me and her to meet is ok. And her religion makes her parents super controlling of her, and super suspicious of guys she is with. Also, to those of you that have recommended facebook and skype, yes, we have those.

Dude, flat out, tell her you need more time together. If she can't fulfill that, move on. It's not that hard. By the sound of it you're never together anyway so it shouldn't matter much.