Can I ever live a normal life?

I'd suggest getting a job. You'll get out of the house, meet some people, earn an income, be able to buy some stuff, and feel like you're a productive member of society.

And you're 17. You've got a few years to decide if you like working at your job, or if not, then you can go to college. Sometimes doing a job you don't like can really focus your mind on deciding what you'd rather be doing.

As a last resort, you could even join the military or something. That'll force you out of your shell and out of your basement.

And if you've got soem sort of anxiety disorder, go to a doctor and get on some medication. For god's sake man, don't shut yourself away for the rest of your life because of a single doctor's appointment you never made. A lot of medicines they've got nowadays can really help a lot. Huge numbers of people are on those various med's.

Your not a loser, but you just need some guidance or a little push. I suggest either finding a part time job (although that is hard in this economy) or going ot school. There is nothing abnormal about your life, your 17 your fine. Just get out more, if you have soical phobia and you feel it's a legitment issue than I suggest getting hold ofsomeone who can help you overcome that, like see a counselor or something. You'll be fine, oh and you say you NEVER talked to a girl before? I find that unlikely.....besides what are they going to do to you? They arn't going to attack you if you say hi to them lol.

In short just go to college or find a job or something, you just need to stop feeling bad about yourself and realise your a great person and needs to get out there a little more. You just need to feel better about yourself and push yourself a bit, that's it. Your fine.

You're only 17? That is when my life turned around. You need to get out of the house, out of your comfort zone, and out with women. You need to party and get loose and learn to relax and everything will turn around. You are only 17, you got plenty of time. Start now and you will be golden. Sign up for school, go from there.

[QUOTE="BranKetra"][QUOTE="parkurtommo"]

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

parkurtommo

like my brother? who didnt go to college and loved every second of it?

he chose a trade school instead, for commercial diving. college really isnt for everyone

Try and find a community you can fit into maybe? Thats an easy way to find like-minded people. Just don't make up stuff to try and impress other people, or be intimidated by how well they might be doing, they have their own life and you have yours. If you actually looked into someone elses life, it probably wouldn't be as impressive as you think, seriously.

[QUOTE="BranKetra"][QUOTE="parkurtommo"]

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

parkurtommo

Get out the basement and do something productive. Easy as pie.

The best thing you can do is talk to someone who is trained to help you. Getting a therapist or psychiatrist could help you make that change you need in your life and there is nothing embarrassing about getting help. We could ALL benefit from talking with someone who is equipped to help us with our problems. I can only tell you to act now and not wait. The older you get, the more difficult it will be to change. You can change and become the "you" that you think you should be:) You just need a little guidance.

[QUOTE="BranKetra"]

When I was out of high school and not going to college, I got that a lot but I ignored them and stayed focused on my interests. In hindsight, the people saying that were probably doing it for my interests. Tough-love, I guess. Kind of an incompetent way to go about it, though. Btw, most everyone has social skills. If not, you wouldn't be able to speak/write. i.e. you wouldn't even be able to talk online to strangers.

SoSadLife

Its not as easy to simply interact with people in my case. Because it has always seemed to me that the only way to gain acceptance and respect from people is by being a jerk. I am constantly living that bad day in my mind in which everything goes wrong and you just wanna stay away from people and touble (Social Anxiety disorder I suppose) which is basiclly losing your personality.

I do act confident, but, lets say if I were to have this convo right in front of you face to face, there is just simply no way in hell I would be able to speak to you other than a simple Hi or hello and maybe a smile from my part which I have come to understand is simply a big turn off and a big sign to stay away.

This is the reason on why I am only confined to a small group of friends.

Jesus christ, you're 17, it's just a phase. The whole social awkwardness stage has happened to me and a tons of people and I've pretty much gotten over it. There are a million ways to fix this kind of issue, really.

Let me ask you something, do you have problems talking to a cashier even?

6 months in a basement. Oh well. People have spent 20 years in prison and lived normal lives afterwords. Get a grip and move out of that basement. Do what you're afraid to do and I promise you that you'll benifit from it.

Hey, I'm several years older than you and am in college now suffering pretty much the same problems, probably worse, after looking at some information online, Avoidant personality disorder best describe my situation. You should still try to be happy though, we have a right to be here, like everyone else, and to try to live a happy and (hopefullly) productive life. Sometimes try your best to not over analyze everything, think big of yourself, but think little of what others may think, try to be confident.

Going to college in not that hard, if you don't want to be constantly interacting with people, there're plenty of science majors that doesn't involve too much of that, maybe it's a good idea to volunteer in the student community, maybe starting at a position that doesn't involve too much working with others, or maybe volunteer elsewhere in the community, if you find finding a actual job to be mentally challenging, like me:( But I guess one step at a time, it's hard enough to survive already it's harder to actually enjoy yourself while doing it, at least I feel that way. But still, many failed attempt would eventually lead to a way of life you're relatively comfortable with, better than doing nothing , I no longer hope to conquer my problem these days, but I try to live around it, understanding that it's something I'll have to face for the rest of my life. Wish you all the best:)

[QUOTE="SoSadLife"]

[QUOTE="BranKetra"]

When I was out of high school and not going to college, I got that a lot but I ignored them and stayed focused on my interests. In hindsight, the people saying that were probably doing it for my interests. Tough-love, I guess. Kind of an incompetent way to go about it, though. Btw, most everyone has social skills. If not, you wouldn't be able to speak/write. i.e. you wouldn't even be able to talk online to strangers.

greenskittles

Its not as easy to simply interact with people in my case. Because it has always seemed to me that the only way to gain acceptance and respect from people is by being a jerk. I am constantly living that bad day in my mind in which everything goes wrong and you just wanna stay away from people and touble (Social Anxiety disorder I suppose) which is basiclly losing your personality.

I do act confident, but, lets say if I were to have this convo right in front of you face to face, there is just simply no way in hell I would be able to speak to you other than a simple Hi or hello and maybe a smile from my part which I have come to understand is simply a big turn off and a big sign to stay away.

This is the reason on why I am only confined to a small group of friends.

Jesus christ, you're 17, it's just a phase. The whole social awkwardness stage has happened to me and a million people and I've pretty much gotten over it. There are a million ways to fix this kind of issue, really.

Let me ask you something, do you have problems talking to a cashier even?

May or may not be a phase, for me, it's like something ingrained with my soul since I was born, I was never ever a functional unit of the society, even though I want to be.

[QUOTE="greenskittles"]

[QUOTE="SoSadLife"]

Its not as easy to simply interact with people in my case. Because it has always seemed to me that the only way to gain acceptance and respect from people is by being a jerk. I am constantly living that bad day in my mind in which everything goes wrong and you just wanna stay away from people and touble (Social Anxiety disorder I suppose) which is basiclly losing your personality.

I do act confident, but, lets say if I were to have this convo right in front of you face to face, there is just simply no way in hell I would be able to speak to you other than a simple Hi or hello and maybe a smile from my part which I have come to understand is simply a big turn off and a big sign to stay away.

This is the reason on why I am only confined to a small group of friends.

Ncsoftlover

Jesus christ, you're 17, it's just a phase. The whole social awkwardness stage has happened to me and a million people and I've pretty much gotten over it. There are a million ways to fix this kind of issue, really.

Let me ask you something, do you have problems talking to a cashier even?

May or may not be a phase, for me, it's like something ingrained with my soul since I was born, I was never ever a functional unit of the society, even though I want to be.

Listen, I've always felt like a bit of a outcast, even in my own family. Yet I still, truly, truly believe it's something that can be improved upon. I was as a 16 year old, probably at my worst stage in terms of how I felt about myself and my interaction with others. At 19 I have almost no problem, with talking to people. It's a mindset issue, it really is, like I said, it's something that can receive improvments if you look at the right avenues. Just don't settle for medicocrity, if your only ok at something than why not try to be really good at it?

well, all you gotta do is just start talking to more people, start going out a little more at a time, and you'll be living a normal life in no time im sure :)

[QUOTE="lancea34"]

Asking for advice on how to improve your social skills ON THE INTERNET pretty much confirms your condition is incurable.

CaptainAhab13

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

parkurtommo

This is thoroughly untrue. Some people don't fit well into the college education, and for some people it isn't worth the money. Some people are spending thousands upon thousands for a degree that doesn't mean ****. Degrees are becoming less and less worth it because they let pretty much anything and everything walk through their doors.

This makes your career choice extremely important these days. So no, not going to college isn't a horrible life choice. While some people reach farther and farther into debt you could be gaining experience (experience > degree) and money.

[QUOTE="Nude_Dude"]I smell toke jopicSoSadLife

Why would this be a joke topic? Im not even slightly joking about this.

I don't understand how people think.

Jesus christ, you're 17, it's just a phase. The whole social awkwardness stage has happened to me and a tons of people and I've pretty much gotten over it. There are a million ways to fix this kind of issue, really.

Let me ask you something, do you have problems talking to a cashier even?

greenskittles

No, I would like to think not. But thats exactly how I would react with anyone, emotionless. I do feel uncomfortable.

He could seek help from family and relatives. He also said he had REAL friends. Who better to ask advice from than friends and/or family?lancea34

Not really, I really don't like to speak about this irl because I constantly have this feeling that people (Even parents and friends) are judging on what actions I do. Hope this makes sense.

Also, if people have read my other thread and wondering if this was a troll attempt because I said i was 19 in that, the only reason I lied because I wanted to see how people would react at that age, so i'd simply assume its only better at a lower age. Im actually 17, I only did that to see how people would think about college and what age is perfect for it or not.

So you wanted to see people's reaction 2 years in the future? :?

I smell a paradox...

So you wanted to see people's reaction 2 years in the future? :?

I smell a paradox...

lancea34

Because I was already planning on taking a year off. Also, it would help me feel much more better to the fact that it is ok and acceptableto take two years off and then go to college.

Go see a doctor i think you need help.

of course, youre young.

I suggest therapy.

THen, if grades and money allow, college. If not that, then a job, specifically one that comes with customer interaction. Having a job where I have to talk with people every day has done wonders for my social skills, getting rid of my shyness, and generally being able to talk with anyone.

[QUOTE="greenskittles"]

Jesus christ, you're 17, it's just a phase. The whole social awkwardness stage has happened to me and a tons of people and I've pretty much gotten over it. There are a million ways to fix this kind of issue, really.

Let me ask you something, do you have problems talking to a cashier even?

SoSadLife

No, I would like to think not. But thats exactly how I would react with anyone, emotionless. I do feel uncomfortable.

He could seek help from family and relatives. He also said he had REAL friends. Who better to ask advice from than friends and/or family?lancea34

Not really, I really don't like to speak about this irl because I constantly have this feeling that people (Even parents and friends) are judging on what actions I do. Hope this makes sense.

Emotionless? I'm confused. So when talking to a cashier you have a blank face and speak in a monotone voice? Listen mate, here is something I want you to do. Rest assured I have felt uncomfortable speaking to people behind even a counter but it can be overcome.

Cashiers, first you have to understand the fact that most people working are trying to help you make a decision and be nice to you (actually 95% of people are already like that). But this is their job so it won't be so hard. Just go up to a person, in a shopping centre who is working by him or herself at a stand or something and start a talking about recommendations for a gift. Ask questions like "what would be a good gift for my 35 year old auntie" what do you recommend here?, continue on asking about these products, ask if they have some themselves. Then go on to make some small talk like how long they've worked their, whether or not they are from around here etc. Just some questions man and try not to reply with a "oh cool" or "ah" cause that gets you nowhere, keep proddding the person (without going too personal, unless you want to pick up some chick)

This works with everyone but like I said if you want to start small and since there is almost no risk in seeing them again you should try this method. Just go for a walk in a shopping centre or something. Heck this works for random people at the bus stop , just pretend you don't know directions to something and start asking about them, small talk like the traffic or school. If you can practice this, it will work in almost all situations, you will probably suck at first (go in expecting that and you won't care as much) but after a few attempts you will be like "normal" again. Seriously, do this.

Meh I feel the same way, but I know with time I'll make the right decisions. It's a waste of time worrying and being jealous of other people, just get out there and make your own path and stop comparing yourself to other people constantly. I'm a 18 year old high school screw up (probably switched schools about 10 times in my life growing up) now I'm trying to graduate at home when people all around me are advancing and growing up yet I'm stuck with a 15 year old mentality and probably have at least one or two mental disorders (Bi-polar, Social anxiety)

I don't let it get to me though, well that's not entirely true but I try my best not to. I used to be down on myself all the time for not living up to the expectations I set on myself as a kid or the expectations of people around me. I feel like I've dealt with enough stress and anxiety to last a life time and I only blame myself for it, damned if I'll ever blame other people. I've made so many bad decisions in highschool and throughout my teenage years most of the people around me don't realize or understand how badly I feel sometimes, or rather choose not to care but I can't blame them. I try not to project it onto other people though.

I dont believe in normal when it comes to measuring the human character or life. Just be who you see yourself as, don't let your negative feelings control you and I believe you'll succeed at something.

Join the ****in' military

u got high marks and got offered scholarships. i dunno what ur bichin about lol. even if ur socially akward it doesnt matter, just grow some balls and it will come in time. if ur getting scholarships and stuff then u shouldnt be worried dude.

u got high marks and got offered scholarships. i dunno what ur bichin about lol. even if ur socially akward it doesnt matter, just grow some balls and it will come in time. if ur getting scholarships and stuff then u shouldnt be worried dude.

idunnodude

If you are a male, living in America you should have no reason to be down on yourself.

If you are a male, living in America you should have no reason to be down on yourself.

Darthmatt