Can I ever live a normal life?

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SoSadLife

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#1 SoSadLife
Member since 2008 • 197 Posts

After highschool ended, I took it to the basement and spent my time there for like 6 months. Playing games, movies, beer and whatnot. But anyways, today I recieved a phone call from one of my old best friends. He's been telling about all of his new life changes in college and I couldn't help but notice how his personality have changed. I mean it has changed dramatically specially since we used to relate alot! Things have gone uphill for him I guess, but this made me just wonder "Wow, everyone is advancing in life and all what im doing is wasting mine".

I don't want to doom my life as a failure yet, specially since my parents/friends already regard me as such. Im 17, Im social phobic, zero social interaction skills, never spoke to a girl in my entire life and I can never feel comfortable anywhere outside. Heck, I haven't gone in town for a long time!

I don't know, I wanna change and act normal. I am not comfortable/happy with my current situation. But I don't even know how humans interact anymore because I've lived in isolation for a long time!

Can I lead a normal life OT? I Would really appreciate any advice you could give!

Please don't hate!

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xTheExploited

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#2 xTheExploited
Member since 2007 • 12094 Posts
you're 17, its pretty much over already.
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Diviniuz

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#3 Diviniuz
Member since 2009 • 6460 Posts
go to college and don't overthink social interactions. Problem solved
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Firebird-5

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#4 Firebird-5
Member since 2007 • 2848 Posts
well first. drop the attitude. SoSadLife, lololol. no one cares but you. so at least try to be happy. go outside and ride a bike. talk to people, no, its not weird (most of the time) enroll in something that will further your education. it doesn't have to be university (college?). it can be salsa dancing lessons. get a job
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parkurtommo

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#5 parkurtommo
Member since 2009 • 28295 Posts

Let me get this straight, you're skipping college?

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JML897

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#6 JML897
Member since 2004 • 33134 Posts
....you're 17. If your social anxiety is really as bad as you say it is, see a psychiatrist or something.
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LJS9502_basic

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#7 LJS9502_basic
Member since 2003 • 178855 Posts
Depending on the severity of your social anxiety....it might be prudent to seek a professional. If you are academically inclined enroll in college. You can be as social as you wish or not at all...but it would help with future job interviews. Or find employment now. It's not going to get easier only harder as time passes. The future is yours to create....you're not doomed yet.
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Talldude80

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#8 Talldude80
Member since 2003 • 6321 Posts

you're 17, its pretty much over already.xTheExploited

LOL! you do realize that sarcasm is hard to read. It's more in how you say things.

but seriously, you're only 17, life will go WAY up and WAY down in the next few years. As bad as life can be in your teens and early 20s, trust me it can make a total 360. Not everyone goes to college at 18 or at all. I'd say set some goals for yourself. Talk to girls online if you're afraid to talk to them in real life. get a job and keep yourself busy with that (while making $$$$). Trust me, you'll see there is no such thing as a "normal life." dont worry about what other people do, just do what makes YOU happy.

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ExoticAnimal

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#9 ExoticAnimal
Member since 2010 • 39796 Posts
You got your whole life ahead of you...
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MgamerBD

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#10 MgamerBD
Member since 2006 • 17550 Posts
Do what I do. If you wanna change go for it. Try to be more social, when people talk to you be confident. Its a long road TC but you can be "social". Its easier then it seems, till this day I still don't know how to make friends. It sort of just happens.
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SoSadLife

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#11 SoSadLife
Member since 2008 • 197 Posts

well first. drop the attitude. SoSadLife, lololol. no one cares but you. so at least try to be happy. Firebird-5

Thats what I've been doing, im not exaclty sad, I do try and enjoy myself (gaming, movies etc etc) but I know what im doing is not productive.

I never found out what I wanna do in college so I didn't go. Also, why is everybody emphasizing the fact that I am 17. All the people I know have way surpassed me in terms of having a life, people have gone abroad / changed state , moved along. All of the ones I know are my age.

It doesn't matter what my age is, im still far behind because basiclly im still my high school self.

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branketra

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#12 branketra
Member since 2006 • 51726 Posts
Do something. It's better than nothing.
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Nude_Dude

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#13 Nude_Dude
Member since 2007 • 5530 Posts
I smell toke jopic
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SoSadLife

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#14 SoSadLife
Member since 2008 • 197 Posts

I smell toke jopicNude_Dude

Why would this be a joke topic? Im not even slightly joking about this.

I don't understand how people think.

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parkurtommo

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#15 parkurtommo
Member since 2009 • 28295 Posts

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

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branketra

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#16 branketra
Member since 2006 • 51726 Posts

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

parkurtommo
I disagree. College isn't for everyone.
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parkurtommo

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#17 parkurtommo
Member since 2009 • 28295 Posts
[QUOTE="parkurtommo"]

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

BranKetra
I disagree. College isn't for everyone.

Well then, those who don't think college is for them are doomed, they're gonna be stuck with simple, sad lives.
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ExoticAnimal

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#18 ExoticAnimal
Member since 2010 • 39796 Posts
[QUOTE="parkurtommo"]

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

BranKetra
I disagree. College isn't for everyone.

Exactly. Kinda regretting my decision to go though I'm about to graduate sometime early next year. Wish I could have waited for some period of time before rushing off to college to major in something that I completely hate.
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Firebird-5

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#19 Firebird-5
Member since 2007 • 2848 Posts
[QUOTE="BranKetra"][QUOTE="parkurtommo"]

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

parkurtommo
I disagree. College isn't for everyone.

Well then, those who don't think college is for them are doomed, they're gonna be stuck with simple, sad lives.

why
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SoSadLife

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#20 SoSadLife
Member since 2008 • 197 Posts

[QUOTE="parkurtommo"]

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

BranKetra

I disagree. College isn't for everyone.

Despite my current situation, I've achieved high marks in Highschool. Even got offered scholarships. I lack social skills, but I had a motivation to study. I kinda lost in now though. But I believe I could work around that again simply because of the fact that I wanna change, I don't believe its going to be anytime soon though.

As I said before, I don't wanna be considered a total failure yet, although I do feel like that most of the time.

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ExoticAnimal

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#21 ExoticAnimal
Member since 2010 • 39796 Posts
[QUOTE="BranKetra"][QUOTE="parkurtommo"]

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

parkurtommo
I disagree. College isn't for everyone.

Well then, those who don't think college is for them are doomed, they're gonna be stuck with simple, sad lives.

Are you saying that people who don't go to college aren't ever going to be successful and are depressed? Ok... :?
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parkurtommo

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#22 parkurtommo
Member since 2009 • 28295 Posts
[QUOTE="BranKetra"][QUOTE="parkurtommo"]

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

ExoticAnimal
I disagree. College isn't for everyone.

Exactly. Kinda regretting my decision to go though I'm about to graduate sometime early next year. Wish I could have waited for some period of time before rushing off to college to major in something that I completely hate.

I don't understand, why did you choose something you hate?
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shinian

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#23 shinian
Member since 2005 • 6871 Posts
[QUOTE="BranKetra"][QUOTE="parkurtommo"]

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

parkurtommo
I disagree. College isn't for everyone.

Well then, those who don't think college is for them are doomed, they're gonna be stuck with simple, sad lives.

Steve Jobs didn't have a college degree:p
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LJS9502_basic

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#24 LJS9502_basic
Member since 2003 • 178855 Posts
[QUOTE="BranKetra"][QUOTE="parkurtommo"]

dude, I can safely say not going to college is pretty much the worst possible choice you can make in your life, no wonder you consider yourself unproductive.

parkurtommo
I disagree. College isn't for everyone.

Well then, those who don't think college is for them are doomed, they're gonna be stuck with simple, sad lives.

Not really.....some people go to tech schools, some join the military, some get jobs out of school....and life is what you make of it. If you're basically unhappy that is how you shall live....and the reverse is true as well.
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SoSadLife

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#25 SoSadLife
Member since 2008 • 197 Posts

[QUOTE="BranKetra"]I disagree. College isn't for everyone.ExoticAnimal
Exactly. Kinda regretting my decision to go though I'm about to graduate sometime early next year. Wish I could have waited for some period of time before rushing off to college to major in something that I completely hate.

Thats why I didn't go. I could live the social awkwardness again if I had a motivation to do something. But I don't have a slightest IDEA on what I wanna do in my life.

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parkurtommo

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#26 parkurtommo
Member since 2009 • 28295 Posts
[QUOTE="ExoticAnimal"][QUOTE="parkurtommo"][QUOTE="BranKetra"] I disagree. College isn't for everyone.

Well then, those who don't think college is for them are doomed, they're gonna be stuck with simple, sad lives.

Are you saying that people who don't go to college aren't ever going to be successful and are depressed? Ok... :?

Well yeah. Unless they don't know any better. Farmers aren't sad, but it's not like they surround themselves with educated people. The OP said that his friend's lives are going uphill, and that he is disappointed with his own life. Well, there's your reason, he's being influenced by his surroundings, he might not want to go to college but his surroundings are telling him to.
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ExoticAnimal

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#27 ExoticAnimal
Member since 2010 • 39796 Posts
[QUOTE="parkurtommo"][QUOTE="ExoticAnimal"][QUOTE="BranKetra"] I disagree. College isn't for everyone.

Exactly. Kinda regretting my decision to go though I'm about to graduate sometime early next year. Wish I could have waited for some period of time before rushing off to college to major in something that I completely hate.

I don't understand, why did you choose something you hate?

I wanted to become a doctor but didn't really want to that as I don't really have the patience to go through Med-school at all. Just want school to be over with. I chose Bio as a major because I thought it would give me the best chance into Med-school along with good grades but should have changed it years ago. Should have taken some time off after high school to think about my decision.
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Kelayr

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#28 Kelayr
Member since 2005 • 61857 Posts
You can start by going outside. Go to the mall so you can get used to having people around you. When you feel more confident, you can try and look for a job while you think about what you want to study at college. Change only happens if and when you want it to, so if you really want to become a better person, you have to be firm and take the first step.
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LJS9502_basic

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#29 LJS9502_basic
Member since 2003 • 178855 Posts
[QUOTE="parkurtommo"][QUOTE="ExoticAnimal"][QUOTE="parkurtommo"] Well then, those who don't think college is for them are doomed, they're gonna be stuck with simple, sad lives.

Are you saying that people who don't go to college aren't ever going to be successful and are depressed? Ok... :?

Well yeah. Unless they don't know any better. Farmers aren't sad, but it's not like they surround themselves with educated people. The OP said that his friend's lives are going uphill, and that he is disappointed with his own life. Well, there's your reason, he's being influenced by his surroundings, he might not want to go to college but his surroundings are telling him to.

That's what he thinks....but everyone chooses a different path in life and develops experiences that shape him. His friend has done so....a new world has opened for him...while the TC is in the same situation. It's not necessarily college but new experiences he needs.
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ExoticAnimal

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#30 ExoticAnimal
Member since 2010 • 39796 Posts
[QUOTE="parkurtommo"] Well yeah. Unless they don't know any better. Farmers aren't sad, but it's not like they surround themselves with educated people. The OP said that his friend's lives are going uphill, and that he is disappointed with his own life. Well, there's your reason, he's being influenced by his surroundings, he might not want to go to college but his surroundings are telling him to.

No dude. Just stop right there. Just because you're a farmer, doesn't mean that you're stupid because you don't surround yourself with educated people. I used to work on a farm as a part time job when I was in my teens. :| And to tell you the truth, the boss I worked for was a lot smarter than some of the people in college and he never went to college. Being educated doesn't mean you become intelligent.
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LJS9502_basic

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#31 LJS9502_basic
Member since 2003 • 178855 Posts
[QUOTE="ExoticAnimal"][QUOTE="parkurtommo"] Well yeah. Unless they don't know any better. Farmers aren't sad, but it's not like they surround themselves with educated people. The OP said that his friend's lives are going uphill, and that he is disappointed with his own life. Well, there's your reason, he's being influenced by his surroundings, he might not want to go to college but his surroundings are telling him to.

No dude. Just stop right there. Just because you're a farmer, doesn't mean that you're stupid because you don't surround yourself with educated people. I used to work on a farm as a part time job when I was in my teens. :| And to tell you the truth, the boss I worked for was a lot smarter than some of the people in college and he never went to college. Being educated doesn't mean you become intelligent.

True enough....some of the people I saw in college weren't that bright whereas I met some very intelligent people that never went to college.
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parkurtommo

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#32 parkurtommo
Member since 2009 • 28295 Posts
[QUOTE="ExoticAnimal"][QUOTE="parkurtommo"] Well yeah. Unless they don't know any better. Farmers aren't sad, but it's not like they surround themselves with educated people. The OP said that his friend's lives are going uphill, and that he is disappointed with his own life. Well, there's your reason, he's being influenced by his surroundings, he might not want to go to college but his surroundings are telling him to.

No dude. Just stop right there. Just because you're a farmer, doesn't mean that you're stupid because you don't surround yourself with educated people. I used to work on a farm as a part time job when I was in my teens. :| And to tell you the truth, the boss I worked for was a lot smarter than some of the people in college and he never went to college. Being educated doesn't mean you become intelligent.

I never said farmers are stupid, just saying they live simple lives. Not all of them obviously, just the stereotypical ones.
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markop2003

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#33 markop2003
Member since 2005 • 29917 Posts
Stop asking "if you can and just go do it, posting here really isn't going to help you.
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metallica_fan42

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#34 metallica_fan42
Member since 2006 • 21143 Posts
Grab a beer?
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ExoticAnimal

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#35 ExoticAnimal
Member since 2010 • 39796 Posts
[QUOTE="parkurtommo"] I never said farmers are stupid, just saying they live simple lives. Not all of them obviously, just the stereotypical ones.

What's wrong with a simple life? I would love having a simple life.
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ehhwhatever

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#36 ehhwhatever
Member since 2010 • 1463 Posts
Thanks for opening up. You probably got rid of some clutter. Get a daily routine. If you are happy being a janitor and have a dog that's your business.
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SoSadLife

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#37 SoSadLife
Member since 2008 • 197 Posts

Stop asking "if you can and just go do it, posting here really isn't going to help you.markop2003

Different opinions do shed some light, specially since I cannot ask this irl since I am in no where to trust anyone with such information (Nor am I capable of speaking about this in matter of fact) in real life.

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ehhwhatever

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#38 ehhwhatever
Member since 2010 • 1463 Posts
You have to maintain your faculty of effort even if it is some sort of gratuitous exercise like erm... exercise which makes you feel better.
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SoSadLife

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#39 SoSadLife
Member since 2008 • 197 Posts

You have to maintain your faculty of effort even if it is some sort of gratuitous exercise like erm... exercise which makes you feel better.ehhwhatever

In reality, everything seems like Sh** to me tbh. I don't like to think that im depressed or anything even though I lost my apetite I wouldsimply force myself to eat. I even started to headbang sometimes just to get out of the sh***y mood. Try to sound happy/satistfied with my life when im talking to friends etc etc.

No one likes a depressed person, I think I have grown in intellect to at least determine that.

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ferrari2001

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#40 ferrari2001
Member since 2008 • 17772 Posts
Go to college, that'll fix it. If it don't there are plenty of psychologists that specialize in social disabilities that can fix ya right up.
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Spitfirer

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#41 Spitfirer
Member since 2007 • 2088 Posts

It's clear that you're not happy with your situation so you really wanna do everything you can to get yourself out of it. It's not nice when people joke about your problems, but they will always try to get a reaaction out of you. The only thing you can do is laugh along with it. Just keep that in mind. I mean, your username only really attracts that.

I think you just need to get used to your surroundings. Get out of the house, go to the shops, take up a new hobby that requires contact with other people. Self-defense is an extremely important skill so start going to jujitsu or aikido classes. Take up any interest other than gaming, movies and TV.

Get used to talking to people including possibly strangers, without overthinking the interaction. If you do this and take note of that I said at the start of this post, you'll find a minor relief in your social awkwardness. Eventually you'll pick up conversation and even find you have interesting things to say.

Finally, just have a sense of humour and thicken your skin.

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ehhwhatever

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#42 ehhwhatever
Member since 2010 • 1463 Posts

[QUOTE="ehhwhatever"]You have to maintain your faculty of effort even if it is some sort of gratuitous exercise like erm... exercise which makes you feel better.SoSadLife

In reality, everything seems like Sh** to me tbh. I don't like to think that im depressed or anything even though I lost my apetite I wouldsimply force myself to eat. I even started to headbang sometimes just to get out of the sh***y mood. Try to sound happy/satistfied with my life when im talking to friends etc etc.

No one likes a depressed person, I think I have grown in intellect to at least determine that.

Your brain is like plastic and you are molding it, so get a different routine. That is what your friend did.
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branketra

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#43 branketra
Member since 2006 • 51726 Posts

Well then, those who don't think college is for them are doomed, they're gonna be stuck with simple, sad lives.parkurtommo
Are you saying that without the college education system, people are incapable of gaining knowledge and using it to become successful? If you are, that is ridiculous.
Exactly. Kinda regretting my decision to go though I'm about to graduate sometime early next year. Wish I could have waited for some period of time before rushing off to college to major in something that I completely hate.ExoticAnimal
I graduated high school in 07 and went to college fall of the same year. I hated it and dropped out. I took some time off and studied on my own for a few years. There were some things I didn't understand, so I decided to enroll again summer last year. I'm glad I did, even if it wasn't all fun. In a couple semesters, I'll have my A.A. in psychology and will probably go further once I transfer to UCF. At first, I was doing anthropology, but the classes I was taking bored me. Since I already started, I decided to take a couple classes. Might as well find out a thing or two. I'm replacing most of my first major's classes with maths and sciences.

Despite my current situation, I've achieved high marks in Highschool. Even got offered scholarships. I lack social skills, but I had a motivation to study. I kinda lost in now though. But I believe I could work around that again simply because of the fact that I wanna change, I don't believe its going to be anytime soon though.

As I said before, I don't wanna be considered a total failure yet, although I do feel like that most of the time.

SoSadLife

When I was out of high school and not going to college, I got that a lot but I ignored them and stayed focused on my interests. In hindsight, the people saying that were probably doing it for my interests. Tough-love, I guess. Kind of an incompetent way to go about it, though. Btw, most everyone has social skills. If not, you wouldn't be able to speak/write. i.e. you wouldn't even be able to talk online to strangers.

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CaptainAhab13

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#44 CaptainAhab13
Member since 2010 • 5121 Posts
You're 17. Life has barely started yet. Only you can be the change you want to see in the world. - Gandhi If you want to see your world become more active, dynamic, social, and academic, you need to be determined enough to see that dream come to life. Check out the world of colleges, maybe get a job, try to go out and meet some people, take up an outdoors-y hobby.
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SoSadLife

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#45 SoSadLife
Member since 2008 • 197 Posts

When I was out of high school and not going to college, I got that a lot but I ignored them and stayed focused on my interests. In hindsight, the people saying that were probably doing it for my interests. Tough-love, I guess. Kind of an incompetent way to go about it, though. Btw, most everyone has social skills. If not, you wouldn't be able to speak/write. i.e. you wouldn't even be able to talk online to strangers.

BranKetra

Its not as easy to simply interact with people in my case. Because it has always seemed to me that the only way to gain acceptance and respect from people is by being a jerk. I am constantly living that bad day in my mind in which everything goes wrong and you just wanna stay away from people and touble (Social Anxiety disorder I suppose) which is basiclly losing your personality.

I do act confident, but, lets say if I were to have this convo right in front of you face to face, there is just simply no way in hell I would be able to speak to you other than a simple Hi or hello and maybe a smile from my part which I have come to understand is simply a big turn off and a big sign to stay away.

This is the reason on why I am only confined to a small group of friends.

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lancea34

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#46 lancea34
Member since 2007 • 6912 Posts

Asking for advice on how to improve your social skills ON THE INTERNET pretty much confirms your condition is incurable.

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lilasianwonder

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#47 lilasianwonder
Member since 2007 • 5982 Posts
Should probably get out and do something.
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CaptainAhab13

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#48 CaptainAhab13
Member since 2010 • 5121 Posts

Asking for advice on how to improve your social skills ON THE INTERNET pretty much confirms your condition is incurable.

lancea34
What else would you suggest for seeking help if he's indoors most of the time?
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-Tish-

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#49 -Tish-
Member since 2007 • 3624 Posts
It's your parents fault for harboring you in their basement. They should be motivating you to get out there. Make THEM make YOU get involved in something.
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branketra

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#50 branketra
Member since 2006 • 51726 Posts

Because it has always seemed to me that the only way to gain acceptance and respect from people is by being a jerk.

SoSadLife
Not really. That is one way. In my opinion if you that's all you do, you're compensating for something. Not "you," per say. Just a figure of speech.

I do act confident, but, lets say if I were to have this convo right in front of you face to face, there is just simply no way in hell I would be able to speak to you other than a simple Hi or hello and maybe a smile from my part which I have come to understand is simply a big turn off and a big sign to stay away.

SoSadLife
There's a difference in saying hi and not wanting to converse, and not having a clue. Just ask people about current things that are of interest. Games, movies, events. If you're into history, talk about that. Philosophy, etc. Talking to strangers does require effort on your part. It gets easier after a while.