Can a guy just be friends with a girl ?

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Vanine_28

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#1  Edited By Vanine_28
Member since 2007 • 572 Posts

Can a guy just be friends with girl , I ask because I have been very unsuccessful in tying to be friends with girls in the past. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I'm always respectful and never ever make any flirtatious remarks.

once I tell them how happy I am that we are friends, it usually goes down hill from there.

How do you maintain a Friendship without the other person gaining feelings for you?

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SaintLeonidas

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#3 SaintLeonidas
Member since 2006 • 26735 Posts

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deactivated-5e0e425ee91d8

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#4 deactivated-5e0e425ee91d8
Member since 2007 • 22399 Posts

It's not hard. It's like being friends with men, only they're, well, not.

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kriggy

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#5 kriggy
Member since 2008 • 1314 Posts

Yeah, but it's not as fun.

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turtlethetaffer

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#6  Edited By turtlethetaffer
Member since 2009 • 18973 Posts

I have several friends who are girls. And I also have a girlfriend. Typically I find the difference between guy friends and girl friends (as in friends who are girls) is that guys have a penis and girls don't.

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deactivated-598fc45371265

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#7 deactivated-598fc45371265
Member since 2008 • 13247 Posts

If a dog and a organtuan can be friends.

Then surely male and female humans can be friends. :)

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Expane

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#8  Edited By Expane
Member since 2003 • 560 Posts

@Storm_Marine said:

If a dog and a organtuan can be friends.

Then surely male and female humans can be friends. :)

What you can't see is what that orangutang's hand is doing to the dog's wet parts.

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Vanine_28

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#9  Edited By Vanine_28
Member since 2007 • 572 Posts
@magicalclick said:

Last sentence gives it away. But, then, I feel like reading a Yahoo ask post.

Doe it sound arrogant to thank them for being a good friend?

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KHAndAnime

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#10 KHAndAnime
Member since 2009 • 17565 Posts

Sure. Especially if you don't mind doing things like painting your nails, watching chick flicks, and gossiping about guys.

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gajbutler

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#11 gajbutler
Member since 2011 • 193 Posts

If the girl is ugly then yeah, if they're fit then I just think about fucking them.

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DaVillain

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#12 DaVillain  Moderator  Online
Member since 2014 • 56107 Posts

Sure can. A boy and girl can be just friends, it's call, Friends with Benefits.

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Vanine_28

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#13 Vanine_28
Member since 2007 • 572 Posts

@davillain- said:

Sure can. A boy and girl can be just friends, it's call, Friends with Benefits.

I absolutely do not want to have a friend with benefits. I'm married . I'm just worried that its me.

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Treflis

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#14 Treflis
Member since 2004 • 13757 Posts

Of course you can.

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hippiesanta

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#15 hippiesanta
Member since 2005 • 10301 Posts

@Expane said:

@Storm_Marine said:

If a dog and a organtuan can be friends.

What you can't see is what that orangutang's hand is doing to the dog's wet parts.

ORANGUTAN ......

NOT, NOT ORGANTUAN OR ORANGUTANG .... BWAHAHAHA

GINGER OF THE JUNGLE

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DaVillain

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#16 DaVillain  Moderator  Online
Member since 2014 • 56107 Posts

@Vanine_28: Relax I'm just saying some people look at it like that. But all snark aside, I have 3 girls that are just friends and nothing beyond that. Boy and Girl can be just friends, so there's nothing wrong with that.

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crazyguy111

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#17  Edited By crazyguy111
Member since 2013 • 406 Posts

When kids are young (such as 14 and younger), then its possible. When people get old and generally begin to settle down (such as 40 and over) then its possible as well.

However, I think its very difficult when you are in the 15-39 year old age range because that's when people are looking for potential mates and think that everyone who talks to them are attracted to them. Its possible to find a female friend in that age range, but its difficult. Most women who are not attracted to you will try to stop the friendship, and those who are attracted to you will try to push the friendship further. At least that's what I think.

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deactivated-5acfa3a8bc51d

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#18 deactivated-5acfa3a8bc51d
Member since 2005 • 7914 Posts

@crazyguy111: exactly crazy guy

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speedfreak48t5p

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#19 speedfreak48t5p
Member since 2009 • 14416 Posts

Sure can.

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crazyguy111

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#20 crazyguy111
Member since 2013 • 406 Posts

@playmynutz said:

@crazyguy111: exactly crazy guy

yes

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deactivated-598fc45371265

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#21  Edited By deactivated-598fc45371265
Member since 2008 • 13247 Posts

@hippiesanta said:

@Expane said:

@Storm_Marine said:

If a dog and a organtuan can be friends.

What you can't see is what that orangutang's hand is doing to the dog's wet parts.

ORANGUTAN ......

NOT, NOT ORGANTUAN OR ORANGUTANG .... BWAHAHAHA

GINGER OF THE JUNGLE

At least I didn't call it a chimp or a monkey.

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themajormayor

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#22 themajormayor
Member since 2011 • 25729 Posts

If she's ugly then I guess. But who wants an ugly friend?

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GamerForca

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#23 GamerForca
Member since 2005 • 7203 Posts

I think if you're not married, then it'd be extremely difficult, especially if she's not married as well. If the girl's pretty, then as a single guy I can't help but push for something more, and then the friendship falls apart (whether she's attracted to me or not). If she's ugly, then fine by me, but from my experience, it ends up being the fucking girl who wants more. And then it falls apart anyway. But I think if both the girl and the guy are married, or are in serious committed relationships, then it's much easier. Or if they've been friends since childhood and neither sees the other as a potential mate.

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spike6958

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#24 spike6958
Member since 2005 • 6701 Posts

Of course. I honestly find that, at least for me, been friend with girls is easier than been friends with other guys.

When I was in collage and used to always go out drinking with other guys, it was rare that I'd enjoy myself. We'd either end up in a stupid fight over a girl non of us actually liked, or in a stupid fight over sports (and I hate sports). The only time this wasn't the case was when there was a party.

However at my current job I've been in for the last 3 years I'm the only guy under 50 who works there (been 26). The only others in there 20's are three girls, and I can honestly say they are the three best friends I've ever had. I'm even walking one of them down the aisle at her wedding next month as she never knew her dad, and said she's rather me do it than one of her male relatives. The only thing I've ever really had a problem with is when a girl I was dating started trying to tell me I couldn't hang out with them anymore, I broke it of with her then and there, she expected me to accept her friends, so she should accept mine.

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MyNameIsTrout

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#25  Edited By MyNameIsTrout
Member since 2015 • 25 Posts

Yeah, I'm great friends with my sister, a few female coworkers, and several of my friend's girlfriends. Despite some of the above posters' opinions, there are plenty of women out there who have lots to offer in friendship. Sure, they're not the type of friends I like to drink a bottle of whiskey with and trade a few punches, but then who wants only cavemen for friends?

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Vanine_28

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#26 Vanine_28
Member since 2007 • 572 Posts
@GamerForca said:

from my experience, it ends up being the fucking girl who wants more. And then it falls apart anyway.

It would be great if I could avoid this, but how? I've asked friends if they think I send out signals to girls that might be misleading and everyone feels that I don't. Most think I'm very respectful and easy going but never flirty.

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GamerForca

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#27 GamerForca
Member since 2005 • 7203 Posts

If I could answer that, then it wouldn't be an issue for me. I'm basically the same way with those girls.. respectful and nice, not flirty, and then at some point they're sending me a text asking if there's a chance that someday we might be more than friends. : /

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Ribstaylor1

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#28 Ribstaylor1
Member since 2014 • 2186 Posts

Yes. Though there usually is all ways a point in which one or the other, if not both gain feelings of physical attraction maybe emotional as well. But you can move beyond and past those.

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always_explicit

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#29 always_explicit
Member since 2007 • 3379 Posts

I have a lot of female friends but if Im honest with myself, if I were single and they were single, I would probably have sex with all of them. They are all sexually attractive.

You can be sexually attracted to someone and still be just friends. I maintain that dynamic every day and have done throughout my current happy relationship. However my current girlfriend was also "just a friend" until we were both single. Then I slung it up her with great aplomb.

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always_explicit

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#30 always_explicit
Member since 2007 • 3379 Posts

@Vanine_28 said:
@GamerForca said:

from my experience, it ends up being the fucking girl who wants more. And then it falls apart anyway.

It would be great if I could avoid this, but how? I've asked friends if they think I send out signals to girls that might be misleading and everyone feels that I don't. Most think I'm very respectful and easy going but never flirty.

I wouldnt give yourself a hard time about it dude. There is obviously something about you that draws these women into an attraction. That is a compliment in itself. Assuming your perfectly happy in your relationship and your not pro actively seeking other women advances then you are all good. If that is the case then it is them who is failing to be a friend...not you who is failing them.

The added bonus of course is if your relationship falls apart you shouldnt need Aunt Palmer and her five nephews to keep you entertained you clearly have a queue of eligible ladies.

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skipper847

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#31 skipper847
Member since 2006 • 7334 Posts

I use to work in a boarding kennel and I was only male there with 3 women working. One said to me don't you find it strange talking to just women all time?. I said no and looked at my nails and said I think i should get a manicure. But no don't find it strange at all.

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Catalli

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#32 Catalli  Moderator
Member since 2014 • 3453 Posts

It's you. You're the problem. You so handsome, you playa'

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Dogswithguns

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#33 Dogswithguns
Member since 2007 • 11359 Posts

Yeah, depends on how you met or grew up with.... I could never do a girl that I knew well from childhood. as far as being closed friends, no.

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#34  Edited By -Blasphemy-
Member since 2005 • 3369 Posts

no a man and a woman cant be friends but you already know this.

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dylandr

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#35 dylandr
Member since 2015 • 4940 Posts

Yes if they are mature enough to notice gender doesn't mean shit in a friendship

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#36 deactivated-5b797108c254e
Member since 2013 • 11245 Posts

You can definitely be just friends with someone from the opposite sex...ever since high school most of my friends have been girls. That being said, you need to be prepared to "set the record straight" more than once; misunderstandings may occur, especially if the girl thinks you're just "playing hard to get" but for most cases I think that for as long as you, as a guy, can make the girl feel safe and that she's not meat in a platter they will accept you as a friend. I've said it before; I believe the reason a lot of girls avoid having male friends is because a lot of guys give the impression that everything a girl tells them is going to be used later on to try and get her to sleep with them.

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UltimoIce

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#37 UltimoIce
Member since 2009 • 3074 Posts

There are some that can pull this off. Personally, I've found it never to work. Eventually one develops feelings for the other (assuming they are both straight, of course). Think of it this way...if you like someone enough to spend time with them, it's only natural you'd want to date them if you're also attracted to them.

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#38 deactivated-5b797108c254e
Member since 2013 • 11245 Posts

@UltimoIce: But they can be interesting enough for you to want to spend time with and not be attracted to them, otherwise you wouldn't have any male friends either.

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#39 UltimoIce
Member since 2009 • 3074 Posts

@korvus:

Yeah, that's my point. I think the problem is attraction plus friendship. I'm not attracted to men at all, which is why it's easy to spend time with men without wanting their genitals.

The only way I've ever been able to separate out attraction completely is when it's one of my employees. Mentally it becomes like family, not potential 'partners'.

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deactivated-5b797108c254e

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#40 deactivated-5b797108c254e
Member since 2013 • 11245 Posts

@UltimoIce: That makes sense, and like you said, some of the stuff that works with some people don't work with others. I'm very strict with my relationships...for you (not you specifically =p) to be my friend you need to have 5 or 6 things I like...for you to be my partner the list is absolutely huge...so lots of girls fit the short list but not the long one, so the "potential partner" mentality just isn't there for me in most cases.

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UltimoIce

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#41 UltimoIce
Member since 2009 • 3074 Posts

@korvus:

Interesting, then you have a lot more reserve than I. Actually in most cases it's the female falling for me, not vice-versa. At the end of the day it's a double edged sword. If you pick someone you're not attracted to physically with whom to be friends, that means you are probably more attractive than them. In that case, they fall for you. That's why I don't think it works a lot of times. I guess both people would have to have your mentality about it.

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lostrib

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#42 lostrib
Member since 2009 • 49999 Posts

yes

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LJS9502_basic

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#43 LJS9502_basic  Online
Member since 2003 • 178845 Posts

@KHAndAnime said:

Sure. Especially if you don't mind doing things like painting your nails, watching chick flicks, and gossiping about guys.

Someone doesn't have any friends that are girls.

Anyway TC it IS possible.

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Expane

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#44 Expane
Member since 2003 • 560 Posts

@hippiesanta said:

@Expane said:

@Storm_Marine said:

If a dog and a organtuan can be friends.

What you can't see is what that orangutang's hand is doing to the dog's wet parts.

ORANGUTAN ......

NOT, NOT ORGANTUAN OR ORANGUTANG .... BWAHAHAHA

GINGER OF THE JUNGLE

The orangutans (also spelled orang-utan, orangutang, or orang-utang)[1] are the two exclusively Asian species of extantgreat apes.

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VaguelyTagged

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#45 VaguelyTagged
Member since 2009 • 10702 Posts

obviously, however being just friends is rarely what both parties wanted when they started the friendship.

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Pe4chy96

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#46 Pe4chy96
Member since 2015 • 45 Posts

Impossible is nothing... No seriously, of course it is possible. Why wouldnt it?

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Vanine_28

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#47 Vanine_28
Member since 2007 • 572 Posts

Awesome feedback guys, I'm not feeling so bad anymore,after reading threw some of the comments. I have a few buddys who are able to be friends with girls go out for coffee/food and it remain plutonic . It just bugs me that I'm not able to .

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GreySeal9

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#49 GreySeal9
Member since 2010 • 28247 Posts

@KHAndAnime said:

Sure. Especially if you don't mind doing things like painting your nails, watching chick flicks, and gossiping about guys.

Would not be GameSpot OT without a sexist post like this.

Anyway, I have plenty of friends that are girls and I'm sure I've made some flirtatious remarks toward them. Not really a big deal IMO.

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sephyradoom

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#50 sephyradoom
Member since 2010 • 43 Posts

I have no problem being freinds wih dudes until they start whipping out the oh we would be great together or over complimenting