In a word: buttcrack.

User Rating: 6 | Final Fantasy IX PS
I knew something would be wrong with this game when I saw a.) the main character's lacy cuffs and b.) the main characters tail. Every character in the game has some sort of animal association, and the weirdness doesn't stop there. On the plus side, Final Fantasy IX hearkens back rather pleasantly to the class distinctions from Final Fantasy IV and before, and the system by which you acquire new spells and abilities is well-thought out and enjoyable. In addition, the music is passable-- an egregious insult to a Final Fantasy game-- and the graphics are probably the best possible graphics for the original Playstation. In addition, the story is the best actual writing the series has seen. Each character is well-realized and gives you a clear idea about the what and why of their behavior. Too bad they are all sort of uninteresting in those what's and why's. And it's also too bad that they are all kind of dumb-looking. Square went back to a more cartoony look with this game, but there is something else rotten in the state of Denmark. I can deal with cartoony. Grandia II was fine by me. I can't deal with lameness of design. I was reluctant to spend every one of the seventy hours I invested in this game. To boot, the actual storyline sucks. Double-trouble! I try to refrain from using base qualitive judgments in my reviews, but that's all there is to it, ladies and gentlemen. The story for FFIX sucks. It starts out slow and doesn't get better. I couldn't believe it proceeded as predictably and with as little relevance as it did. Pay careful attention, because this game will expose you to the single worst villain in a role-playing game EVER. In terms of raw appeal, Kuja doesn't even rate. In a game involving one of the most heart-warming characters in all video-gaming-- Vivi the black mage-- for this game to make me brim with so much apathy at the end was unforgivable. Square has been pulling on my heartstrings since Golbez put Rosa in danger in the early 90's. You'd think they smell something a bit off with the aura of this story. If you've read my review of Final Fantasy VII, you know I don't like that game, particularly because it IS so popular. It angers me because I don't understand the appeal. FFIX makes FFVII look like the world's gaming saviour. The components of this game are tasked to uphold unappealing characters enacting an unengaging plot. This disc is not worth the photonic energy used to burn the data onto the disc; in a word: buttcrack.