Is it normal for teenagers to be total smartasses?

Like, often times, teenagers will be smartasses and make snarky comments to their elders.....normal, right? Always being like "Leave me alone, Mom/Dad! God!" or something like that. Just in general, being disrespectful to their parents or other adult-figures with sarcastic or disrespectful comments.

Is this a normal phase that every teenager and parent goes through, or is it just the case for the occasional "bad apple"?

At that point in life you are going to go through a few phases and your hormones are going to be going crazy as well. Combine that with immaturity and the urge to disrespect anybody in a position of authority and you will get some teenagers who are disrespectful smartasses.

There are going to be plenty that aren't like that but the ones that are will usually grow up. Note the word usually.

it's common. teenagers start getting whiffs of independence and it's like crack... being an asshole is their way of working to express themselves as independent people.

@comp_atkins: @ad1x2:

I see, and in your opinions, what do you think is the best method that parents should use in response to snarky or rude remarks rom their teenager?

Pretty much yeah. The combo of hormones, not enough life experience, not being in tune with other people's emotions, and not to mention a school system where we throw them all together until they can sort of figure this stuff out on their own really makes for a recipe of general shitheadedness. And no I'm not saying that anyone here, or even that it's somehow the fault of the kids who are like this. Simply that the way we currently do things could use a little tinkering.

They're pretty much a combination of being a smartass and apathetic.

So did you lost your memory about your teenage years or...

Nah, I'm 15. I am living my teenage years.

I'm just trying to figure out if I am a fucked-up human being, or if it is a phase that will pass eventually.

It's common but it definitely isn't normal.

Some adolescents act out in different ways. The "normal" part of adolescence is rebellion against parental authority. This could come in numerous different forms.

Are you seriously 15?

edit for the record I am actually rather impressed, not to give you a big ego or anything, but you always seemed to be far older than that, and much wiser.

Yeah, why do you ask?

Especially considering one has to be 13 to sign up for the website (given his join date, he would have been 12).

I think it's pretty normal. In general the teenage years can get a bit crazy with everything your body is going through combined with the pyschotic amounts of pressure dumped on you at once.

Whoever thought up a system where you are essentially expected to decide your fucking future with NO real world experience and while you are still maturing and trying to discover yourself was a total moron...

Maybe try not acting that way with them, TC? Show some discipline and realize that when you do it, you're acting wrong, own up to it and change yourself. You'll mature much quicker that way.

Asses yes...smart?...not so much...

Ummm. Yeah. I have an 18-year who is that way sometimes. She also knows not to cross the line which may cause me to put my foot down. I went through the same phase.

Of course, the difference is I moved out and went on my own while my kid is quite happy to stay with us.

I wish she'd move out because I want to turn her room into my man cave.

Dunno, I'm a teenager meself.

Bit of a generalization.

Yeah don't sweat it. It's also normal for teenagers to spend their lives sleeping. If you're conscious about being a smartass and are wondering if it's just a phase, then go ahead and make a conscious effort to change too why don't you?

Well yea I guess. Teenage years can be difficult to deal with and they often result in the kinds of behavior described in the OP. However, its very much a relative matter. What parents in the U.S are willing to tolerate of their teenage son/daughter will probably get them a cracked skull around here which isn't as absurd as it may sound to some considering the kind of crap teenagers pull on others over there. Parents will tolerate some rebellion, a tad of disrespect, unruly behavior, deteriorating grades even and a couple of altercations. If you push it any further prepare to face the consequences. Its mind-boggling what some teenagers do in some parts of the world.

it's just evolutionary biology in action.

if everyone got along you would never leave home.

nature forces you away from your relatives so you will go out and knock someone up.

That's one hell of an amuzing stretch

seems pretty obvious to me.

teenage rebellion is common to all cultures, times and races.

not much of a stretch to see that animosity like that as a pretty simple effective way to get offspring to move along in the world.

Most variants of teenage rebellion across different cultures are no where near its American counterpart so I'm not sure whether what you're saying is all that valid. Besides, I see people getting married young around here, as well as in many other parts of the world, all the time without ever having to leave the house its not like one has to elope or something to fulfill his "biological" duty to mankind. Most importantly however is the fact that what you're describing applies to modern civilization and not all of it anyway. As such, to give it an evolutionary explanation is a real stretch.

heh, yep this is all super modern.

“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.”

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Socrates

and only applies to one culture.

“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them,19 then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, 20 and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ 21 Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+21%3A18-21&version=ESV

@Riverwolf007:

What's your point? That teenagers should be stoned to death?

the same point that it always is.

whatever you guys are bitching about is ancient and almost always based on biology.

and that teenagers should be stoned to death.

A smack to the mouth will do the trick. Watch how quiet they get after that.

@Master_Live:

My son got one of those last night.

@GazaAli: It has less to do with what parents are willing to tolerate and more to do with what they can legally do to discipline their children. Over here, laws restricting corporal punishment started to get more widespread in the past few decades and while spanking is still allowed at home in all 50 states, other forms of it cross into abuse to include slapping a child in the face. Most states banned corporal punishment in school and even states where it is legal will have schools ban it out of fear of lawsuits.

Children born in the 80s are having children of their own approaching their teens and because of the lack of discipline both at home and at school most of them got they don't know how to discipline their own children and that is resulting in a lot of teens becoming little shits that have the law protecting them from any real type of discipline. Not saying that being able to hit children is the best form of discipline, but I know when I was a teen I didn't talk back because I didn't want my mom's hand going across my face.

I only see that annoying and loud "smartasses kids" in american society

Believe it or not I have anticipated that you will resort to that first quote beforehand. First off, let me make it clear that no one is able to prove that this quote originated in Socrates. I've done considerable research in the past and the conclusion that I reached is that the quote is not Socrates' or anyone else's. Those who attribute it to Socrates claim it is found in the Republic and yet it is no where to be found there. Some says its Hesiod who said it, while others say its Aristotle and the list goes on and on to include some names both famous and obscure.

Be that as it may, let's accept the content of the quote and the historical epoch it pertains to nonetheless; after all, Plato/Socrates did speak of some of this. This doesn't really contribute to your evolutionary rationale behind the unseemly behavior of teenagers some cultures today are witnessing. Putting Greek Athens and modern day America in juxtaposition with one another, the conclusion one reaches is that affluent democracies either give birth to or foster such behavior, or both and truth be told it would be a conclusion wanting in validation. Greek Athens was, needless to say, a democracy that was highly developed for its time with much influence and affluence, just like modern day America. This constitutes the overlap between these two cultures that belong to different eras. I can't see how one would opt for associating teenagers' mode of being in either cultures to evolution. Besides evolution is an ever going process that is neither selective nor spasmodic. It just cannot happen in some cultures and not others and only at certain periods of time then coming to a complete halt between such periods. It can neither be determined by cultures nor political values as its supposed to be a biological process not an anthropological one.

Bottom line is, the evidence you provide points out to a sort of anthropological explanation; to suggest an evolutionary one is just a leap not even a stretch.

Violent Youth Crime 32 Year Low

I don't want to hear about how "undisciplined kids are these days" when in the things that matter they're waayy better behaved than their parents.

And no, I don't think parents should be legally allowed to beat their children.

Governmental statistics are not known to be reliable and that much accurate; they tend to be skewed one way or another. Also the statistics you provide when taken as a measure of overall youth criminal behavior seem to measure only violent crimes based exclusively on the number of arrests. They say nothing about what gets classified as nonviolent crime which covers a much wider range than unequivocal and clear-cut cases of murder, forcible rape, aggravated assault and robbery and most importantly they rely exclusively on the number of arrests which isn't really that indicative of the actual statistics of these crimes. There is the possibility that laxer laws and deteriorating police performance account for this plummet.

I'm not necessarily discrediting these statistics right away, but I'm just trying to shed a different light on the matter.

@GazaAli: i'm not saying it is 100% the only reason for why they are the way they but to deny the evolutionary impact is flat out ignoring the data available.

there is a whole host of things going on in that hormone ridden brain and body along with social changes that prepare them for entering the adult world like attachments to friends that affect their behavior.

"Moody. Impulsive. Maddening. Why do teenagers act the way they do? Viewed through the eyes of evolution, their most exasperating traits may be the key to success as adults."

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/2011/10/teenage-brains/dobbs-text/1

"Teenagers are associated with the worst of human behaviours – sloth, rudeness and excessiverisk-taking. But new research reveals that it might not be their fault."

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/features/the-truth-about-teen-angst-1646351.html

in the end the moment you begin to accept biology as a basis for any of the behaviors it is impossible to deny an evolutionary origin.

I'm willing to accept an evolutionary angle to teenagers' behavior as there's no reason why it would be far fetched. After all, some of the things teenagers are accused of are the result of hormonal changes and imbalances associated with puberty which is the process that renders human beings capable of procreation, a biological process responsible for the preservation of the species.

I know evolution is not responsible for this:

The chart you linked goes back 32 years but only covers violent crimes. It doesn't address what the OP was talking about, which was more minor incidents such as teens just being disrespectful brats that have no problem treating their elders and authority figures with contempt and other similar issues that aren't bad enough to get them put in handcuffs.

Does that mean I would rather today's teens rape and kill each other than to simply disrespect people in authority in a nonviolent fashion? Of course not. But what I am saying is that some (not all) teens do allow various factors that didn't exist 30 and 40 years ago to cause them to feel comfortable acting in a negative fashion that caused the TC to ask the question in the OP.

Better to be a smartass than a dumbass

Sometimes the teenagers do know more than the parents, but the parents don't want to hear it and brush the teenager off as being a "little shit". The teenager will never win in that scenario and that will make them frustrated beyond belief, maybe to the point where they actually become a "little shit" because they wont have the experience or patience to handle that frustration.

You as a teenager have few rights while being supported by your parents. Grow the **** up, don't talk back to your parents, and just skate through life. It's really not that difficult.

Normal? Not sure, but it's not uncommon.

All the different countries I've visited has those type of kids.US, India, Afghanistan, Iraq, All over Europe, West Indies Islands, Caribbean islands, Mexico, Peru, Brazil, Nicaragua...damn I've been around...Where was I... I know us Americans can be blamed for a lot of different things but we are not alone in this issue.

Being a teenager is hard compared to being a child (which at this point is the only thing you have to compare it with) but it's not as hard as being an adult with responsibilities (what we compare it with) so there's bound to be some tension; your problems will always be more pressing to you than to anyone else and in time you'll learn how to deal with changes...in the meanwhile it will require some patience from the people around you but also a bit of self-evaluation from you...if you say or do something that you know you shouldn't have but couldn't help in the heat of the moment, don't be too proud to apologise and explain the situation from your point of view; that'll go a long way towards avoiding long lasting resentment from either side.

So, to summarise, while your impulses and behaviour might not be entirely your fault (hormones, new situations you haven't developed answers to, the stress of having to create a future for yourself, wanting to have your own independence...all that fucks you up a little bit inside) they are definitely your responsibility and it's up to you to fix what you break. Now, whatever you do, don't think you are a "fucked-up human being"...you're going through some stuff and it's only too easy for us "respectable adults" to forget how it felt to be in your situation and how pressing and desperate life felt sometimes, mostly because it's easier for us to just say "I was being overly dramatic, it wasn't that bad" but it didn't feel that way while we were going through it.

You seem to be a very nice, respectful and polite guy (I agree with the other posters that you sound older) and I hope that when I have a teenager they can show the same traits. The fact that you worry about your behaviour is a great sign that you will overcome it, so just keep trying your best and before you know it, it'll all be behind you and you'll be a respectful member of the society looking down on teenagers just like the rest of us =P

the list of country u have been is laughable compare to mine.

yes, because I gave a list to compete with you. Not because I wanted to give a reference point of all the different societies in different countries that have a similar issue. But none the less, it is still a laughable list. There is still so much of this world for me to see. Glad you were able to experience more of it than I have.

Yeah you are right! instill disipline among our youths!

In all honesty teenagers across the entire world are much the same, because they are all approaching manhood and its a complex time.

As a teenager I was very much self absorbed and self interested, I wanted to be perceived positively by everybody, sometimes this led to a lack of confidence. Now im older I couldnt care less. I have a proper job a family and a life I couldnt have dreamed of having at 15 or 16 years of age. Its a life that I am very much in control of, and that control isnt something you have in your teens.

The secret to life is just to relax and enjoy it. Enjoy the "first experiences" you get in your teens, because it becomes a whole lot harder to create original experiences in your adult years. Im glad I was an ass in my teens, because you can get away with it then.

lol ... ok ok ... sorry for being ass. I actually agree with your first statement