Best. Game. Ever.
Top 10 Reasons Why Bionic Commando Is More Important Than Your Girlfriend
10 - No jumping, only bionic arm swinging goodness. Need to get over that endless chasm of arbitrary spikes? Bionic arm. Power-up too far away? Bionic arm. Love life in shambles because you play too much Bionic Commando? Bionic arm.
9 - Your mission is to rescue a guy named Super Joe.
8 - The jingle. Oh, the jingle.
7 - Weapon variations. This was one of the first games ever to let you swap out bazookas, machine guns, etc. Granted, you had to pick it before you entered a level, but some may call that strategic...
6 - You parachute into the level like the messenger of pain that you are.
5 - The enemy calls you a nerd when you try to hack into their mainframe.
4 - Your hero's name is Rad.
3 - You get to blow up lots and lots of power cores.
2 - Did I mention the bionic arm?
1 - Hitler's head explodes.
Play this game. You owe it to your humanity.