Like Buying a Gorgeous Mansion With Only Bathrooms Inside

User Rating: 3 | Star Wars Battlefront II (Elite Trooper Deluxe Edition) PC

This game is the poster child as to why you don't let Varsity players mix with Jr. Varsity

The varsity stars of this game are the graphic design team; they deserve free beer for life. This game is GORGEOUS and optimized EXTREMELY well for a launch title. I've had 0 lag on maxed out graphics and the environments look and feel Star Wars, something we've been waiting to be immersed in for ages. They hit a home run on this one.

Then there's the Jr. Varsity, the game engine team. This game is a torrential nightmare to play. While I'll save the whole 45 minute speech about the Pay-2-Win aspects (there's nothing new there), I will highlight just how eyebrow melting furiously unbalanced and glitchy this game is.

Apparently the developers have never experienced a wall before, because there are many instances (on Starkiller Base especially) where you can walk the f*** through a wall; holy sweet Yoda midichlorians the force must be strong with me that I can delve through solid matter! What's even more frustrating is players have found many ways to park their sweet little cheeks in areas where they can snipe players from behind walls. And it happens a lot, you will die a lot, the world is a sick and twisted place.

Although I LOVE the forest moon of Endor, I have no idea why they decided to host their servers from there, as the lag is something reminiscent of early 2000's dial-up. If you play anything besides the Heroes vs. Villains gamemode, and I mean anything, it will be a 1 v 2 matchup; that being you against the enemy AND the server lag. It took me 30 seconds to climb a flight of stairs, as I kept rubber-banding back at the bottom; some sick Super Mario 64 deja vu.

Thank the glorious spaghetti monster these guys aren't into bridge building, because their knowledge of balancing would be scary to observe in real world settings. For $60 you can die a ton! For $80 you can die slightly less. Whichever you prefer! As time goes on this game will become more and more LESS new player friendly, as they won't stand a chance against the all glorious Lords of the Starcards. There have been matches where I have absolutely POOPED on people, killing waves of rebels with a single spawn; there have also been games where I've been bent over the cantina and violated angrily by players who take around 3 full ammo clips to kill. This game should have a horror tag on it, because as soon as you see a Deathtrooper or a Wookie closing in on you, you sh*t your pants; Amnesia the Dark Descent has NOTHING on this game.

To reiterate, this game is a beautiful mansion, with amazing landscaping and beautiful, jaw dropping architecture on the outside; but inside lies endless rooms of smelly and unfinished bathrooms, with the smell of greedy excrement everywhere.