Hi there,

I haven't played a WWE game since Smackdown VS Raw 2005, I think-- the one with Cena and Batista on the cover. Loved that game.

Anyway, would I be totally lost on the gameplay in 2K14? And is there a "season/story mode"? I loved creating a wrestler, and rising through the ranks of the story mode.

[QUOTE="mojoboy31"]

lol! I caught that typo a long time ago. I just keep forgetting to upload the edited version of the chapter when I post the latest chapter. Since I have followers, I feel like I shouldn't edit unnecessarily, so they don't get upset, thinking that there's a new chapter to read, when all I did was edit one sentence in chapter two. Know what I mean? lol

waZelda

I see your point. You could do it and write an edit note at the top to let people know that the only difference is a typo fix. 

Part Seven is up! 

Mind=blown.

Foolz3h

This looks very interesting, and ambitious. 

Also, I love your picture. 

Oops.

Yeah, I meant the present tense. I don't know why it bothers me som much. Perhaps it just brakes the suspension of disbelief because it can't possibly be happening right when I'm reading it since it is already written down. To me, present tense only make sense in dialogue (since when it happened it was the present to them).

Anyway, I read part 2.

"No way would my brother's would betray the Jedi!" 

I'm trying not to be too picky, but this sentence is really bad. Not just because there is a would too much, but also because it should be "brothers", not "brother's". The way it is written it would mean either "brother is" or refer to something belonging to the brother.

I think the drug den scene is fine, no need for M rating. Over all a good chapter. By the way, is clincally removing something from the neck a common thing? It strikes me as something that one would make a big deal about. 

waZelda

What happened was: I started to type "No way would my brothers betray the Jedi!", but then I changed my mind mid-sentence, and started typing, "No way my brothers would betray the Jedi!". I just forget to backspace the first "would", and yes, I do know the difference between "brother's", and "brothers". I just missed typed, and didn't catch it before I uploaded it.

lol! I caught that typo a long time ago. I just keep forgetting to upload the edited version of the chapter when I post the latest chapter. Since I have followers, I feel like I shouldn't edit unnecessarily, so they don't get upset, thinking that there's a new chapter to read, when all I did was edit one sentence in chapter two. Know what I mean? lol

I could have made a bigger deal out of it, I suppose, but I wanted to get the story moving, and I figured it is the future, after all. Medicine would have made serious advancements.

Thanks for reading. Thank you very much! 

Ah. 

What kind of music? 

Conceptual, huh? 

Is it poetry, or a story, or kind of both? You said a series. Is there more?

I'm sorry the union is being so slow and you haven't gotten a comment before now, but here we go.

It think it is a good start, but I also think the start of a project is the easiest to pull off, so whether I'll like it or not depends more on the following chapters. You write pretty well, though I'm not a big fan of writing in the present tense. On the other hand, I like first person narrative so that's a plus. 

waZelda

Agreed, openings seem to be far easier than anything else.

This story switches from present tense to past tense when the protagonist reveals his backstory.

I was hesitant to post this, cause it truly is one of my lesser works, I think. If you'd like me to post to more, I can. 

Hey, thank you! I appreciate that very much. Grammar is one of my many weaknesses.

You mean the third person narrative? I don't think I used first person anywhere in this story. . . Or were you referring to the present tense narrative?

Thanks for reading the opening. I appreciate it very much.