The days of pixelated "naked" SIMS are over...

User Rating: 7 | Playboy: The Mansion XBOX
By Matadore | Review Date:
Eventually, a game would hit the scene that would totally deserve that rarely utilized "M"-rating. Its inevitable. And not the "M" for games like Grand Theft Auto... I'm talking about explicit sexual content. The Guy Game attempted this, but let's face it, its easier (and faster) to find porn online than it is to get it out of that dung pile. And there's Leisure Suit Larry... but again, the same argument applies, not to mention the fact that you have to suffer through horrible, sub-standard Mario Party-type mini-games to get even the slightest bit of amorous attention from those deformed cartoony broads. Now, the King of Soft Core has licensed a game based strictly on his own empire: Playboy - The Mansion. Yep, the magazine many hormone-sufficient teenage boys try to sneak a glimpse at is now available for their home console. Its not quite the same as the magazine, but it comes as close as you can get to having interactive erotica with your XBOX. The main character, of course, is Hugh Hefner himself. The goal: to create Playboy magazine and build your Playboy empire. Of course, the first thing someone thinks when they look at screenshots of the game is that it is very SIM-ilar to EA's SIMS games. And in a way, it has that same feel. (Refreshingly enough though, you don't have to tell everyone to go to the bathroom... I guess you just "assume" it happens. You wouldn't want to watch your Playmate of the Month dropping bombs in your lavish facilities.) As a matter of fact, the character "maintenance" is quite a bit more lenient than The SIMS, which helps you concentrate more on completing the goals rather than babysitting. There are only 6 categories to upkeep, and 3 of them are as simple as pointing and clicking on the proper dialogue options. The categories are: Casual, Business, Romance, "Appetite" (I say that cause they can either eat or drink something to increase the meter), Entertainment and Comfort. The first three can be quickly increased by engaging the character in either casual, business, or romantic conversation. When you start one of those categories, other options become available depending on how much that meter fills on the bottom left of the character info sub-screen. In just a few minutes, you can have all 3 of those meters full and move onto making sure the other 3 categories are in the green. (Well, assuming you're talking to a woman. Increasing the Romance meter for men requires introducing them to a female and having them engage in romantic conversation.) There's also an "overall" blue meter in the middle of those category meters which represents the character's overall mood towards Heffy. The higher that meter is, the better. Basically, your main objective is to publish a monthly issue of Playboy, trying to obtain the best for each category of the magazine. (Cover, Centerfold, Article, Interview, Pictorial & Essay) On top of that, you have more long-term goals to accomplish as well. Getting back to publishing the magazine, that takes a little bit of work at first, but the more popular you become, the better "talent" you attract. And, of course, in order for you to have a Cover and a Centerfold, you have to have a photoshoot. Here's where some of the nudity comes into play. You can select the cover model's/playmate's wardrobe, which most of them have a "full" clothed version and a topless version. While the initial shock of seeing non-pixelated jugs might last a few "issues", you'll soon realize the ladies only have a handful of different posing routines. That gets kinda stale after a while because you wind up having pics of girls in similar poses to ones you've previously taken. Not only do the photoshoots get repetitive, but so do the articles and pictorials you ask your photographers and journalists to do. You might have the same article you published before, and your "advisor" (his name is Dick... honestly) will say "That's one of your best articles ever!". Its the same one as before!! I know it depends on the popularity level of your journalist and if they write about something they "like", but come on. At least the interviews and essays are fresh. Which brings me to my next subject... Parties: The only way to meet and talk to people (other than your staff, your girlfriends, or those in your "inner circle") is to throw a party. You will throw countless parties throughout the game. But, they do serve a purpose. You can invite someone that you'd like to do an interview with or get them to write an essay for you. Just schmooze with them for a bit, get their meters in the green, and then ask them to do what you need from them. Dick will let you know if he's excited about the results of your tedious negotiations. Sometimes you have to throw a special party to complete one of the "long-term" goals. Julie (I think that's her name) will give you the objective for the special party and will even invite those who are required to come to accomplish the goal. Then basically you wash, rinse, repeat. Although if you have female guests, its possible while engaging in romantic conversation for the option to have sex to appear. This is where the M-rating is earned. For being video game characters, they're quite accurate in the sexual acts department. Well, except for the fact that Hef has his boxers on and the lady (if not already in some kind of panties or thong) puts on a pink thong. Then, they start bumping fuzzies. Now, some "acts" are a little over-the-top, but for all intents and purposes its pixelated porno. But, when you can have 3 girlfriends and still find time to "hit it" with other affectionate chics, well... welcome to Hef's life. While all that may sound amusing, Playboy - The Mansion isn't without its faults. For instance, controlling Hef can be frustrating at times. He moves more like his actual age instead of how he's portrayed in the game. (Slow, like he's walking through quicksand) There are times where Hef gets stuck (I like to say he has one of those old timer's moments where he goes into a room to do something, but suddenly can't remember why he went in there) and you have to hope someone is around to start a convo with to get unstuck, or try switching Hef's wardrobe. I found that works on occasion. Or, I had a glitch happen where Hef and his lustful lady were about to go at it on the couch, and suddenly he appeared standing in front of the couch while she continued the act. That was rather hilarious... I didn't know a couch could be so stimulating to a woman. And there are other "collision detection" quirks in the game. The sound is great though... both the sound effects and the soundtrack are top notch. I mean, if you're going to simulate sex, you need to have a woman moaning and cooing... well, Cyberlore delivered there. But the music is surprisingly fantastic. Not any 70's porn music like you may expect... although they do have a few tunes in the game that have that feel. But you can switch to different genres of music like you can in The URBZ. And its real music by bands I've never really heard of, but that by no means implies that the music isn't kickin'... and quite appropriate too. So, if you want to find out what its like to fill Hef's slippers, give Playboy - The Mansion a rent, at least. Unless you're really into SIMS-type games or an avid Playboy subscriber, I wouldn't purchase the game. I do have to say though that if you wanted to check out a M-rated, sex-themed game, then this is the one to get. Matadore's Score: 7.0

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