In prepping to write out this review, I couldn't help but wonder something important; do I approach this with some semblance of seriousness and review it just as I would any other game? Or do I give in to my incessant urges to meme the Hell out of the review and make it as silly as humanly possible? Because genuinely, if not for the fact that there was a minimum word count, I could very easily start and end this review with "L + ratio + Coke better + you fell off + Pepsi, more like Mid-si," possibly create a fake rating, and call it a day. But I feel like it wouldn't have sat right with me if I didn't explain my thoughts a bit, so here we are. You may have heard of "Pepsiman" as a result of its meme appeal (and killer soundtrack, I bet), but you may not have gotten to play the game. It was released exclusively in Japan, didn't sell well, and even with an American publisher looking into the game, it never received a localization. But after years of researching its place in the "Video Game Meme Hall of Fame" (while simultaneously drinking Coca-Cola because I'm totally a rebel), I was able to acquire my own copy of "Pepsiman" to try for myself...through totally legal methods...that DEFINITELY don't involve emulation...hey, don't look at me like that, you'd do it too. But regardless, after taking off my spunky meme glasses...I thought the game was just okay. Yeah, I've been making a lot of jokes so far (and I'll make more), but unironically, I think the game is just kinda alright.
I'll give "Pepsiman" credit: this game is unflinchingly dedicated to its goals. Getting a college degree, marrying and having beautiful children, and also being a massive advertising machine for Pepsi. The cover art itself literally just says "DRINK!" on it, with Pepsiman himself pointing at you. Beyond demanding your undying love for Pepsi, it sounds like Pepsiman might be encouraging alcoholism...no, Pepsiman, I didn't mean that, please don't sue. Anyway, sure the bizarro nature of the story might have you thinking that Pepsi will be the cause of our next national crisis (given that Pepsiman spends as much time running away from Pepsi as he does offering it to others), but I don't think the game would've had nearly as much success if it didn't lean so hard into the absurdism of the story. No, not of it makes sense (or cents, I don't think), but I feel like I wouldn't want it any other way. And yeah, the live-action segments where Mike "Exotic Butters" Butters (nickname not officially confirmed) does nothing but drink Pepsi and eat food might come across as stereotyping, but...hey, you know what, I can't speak for the entire population but as an American dude, I can't argue with it. As for the gameplay...well, it's "Temple Run" over a decade before "Temple Run." Should I say more? Oh, yes? Well, I guess I'll say that for the short time it plays, it does have some rather fun level design, and I think there can be a nice bit of challenge to it at points. It's the kind of game that's short enough to where you might not mind playing it a couple of times over. Oh, and did I mention the music is extremely catchy? I did? Well, I'll do it again: the music is extremely catchy and pretty hilarious.
Now, of course, "Pepsiman" is like all good heroes: big, in the way, causing more damage to the population than they think, but also...flawed. While the endless-runner concept has its good moments, the gameplay loop tends to get pretty repetitive fast. There aren't many changes to the overall gameplay, making this feel like it runs out of steam after a while. I know, Pepsi isn't something to drink with steam, but in the case of a video game...it's gonna have to learn to make nice with the steam. That loss of steam isn't helped by the fact that the controls often feel difficult to maneuver, and some "fake difficulty" does abound at times because of the game's frequent desire to throw everything and the Pepsi machine at you (most especially in the chase sequences). Also, while I get what they were going for, I do think the hammy fun of the live-action bits can wear off kinda fast. It's almost like opening a can of Pepsi but not drinking it and leaving it out: the spirits are all gone, and the drink just tastes flat as a result.
Overall, "Pepsiman" is the type of licensed game that's true to Pepsi's business model: there could be worse. It's the kind of game that you're gonna get through extremely quickly, but it'll still be fun for you to come back to every now and again. Some elements of it have aged a bit, but there's still fun to be had with its gonzo premise and decently fun action. It won't change your life, but it'll give you some passable gameplay and perhaps a meme here or there. It's definitely a nice pleasant surprise...but Coke is still better than Pepsi. I stand by it.
Final rating: 6 out of 10 "Decent"