11 Movies That Aren't For Kids, But Sure Seem Like It
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I'm not going to pretend there's "a fine line between kid's movies and adult's movies." Typically, it's an impenetrable wall. You're not bringing your two-year-old to see Pulp Fiction, and I'm not going to watch The Wiggles Movie on my own--today. However, there are a few exceptions that float in this movieland purgatory.
Primarily, the '80s is a good place to find examples of movies that were made for--or seemed like they were made for--kids that are either too dark or too scary for its audience in the 2010s. While I loved Fred Savage's Little Monsters as a kid, Boy's true face still haunts my nightmares as a man in my mid-30s.
Additionally, there are more contemporary movies that--on the surface--have elements you'd only see in kids movies, like puppets, cartoon characters, or superheroes. The content, however, is not good for younger viewers.
With The Happytime Murders--a movie about puppets murdering each other, doing drugs, having sexual relations, etc-- coming to theaters on August 24, we're taking a look at movies from the past that were either marketed to children or contain kid's movie elements that totally aren't for younger viewers.
Team America (2004)
During an uber-patriotic time in the United States, South Park's Matt Stone and Trey Parker made this satirical film about US military mixed with G.I. Joe, which featured only puppets. The movie had the look and feel of the classic children's show The Thunderbirds, but the movie was obviously not for children. Aside from the violence and language, one thing that wouldn't play well to younger viewers is the sex scene, which features the puppets in very positions of coitus.
Cool World (1992)
In 1988, Disney mixed live action and animation for the detective story Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Four years later, Cool World came out, which attempted the same mixture of mediums. However, unlike Roger Rabbit, this movie was not for kids. Sure, its predecessor had an overly-sexualized character named Jessica Rabbit, but a big part of Cool World's story revolved around the plotpoint of a live action character having sex with a cartoon character. While the movie was rated PG-13, its sexual overtones were too much for kids.
Killer Klowns From Outer Space (1988)
During the '80s, I thought this was a good idea to watch when I rented it from the video store. This was a time when there were a few movies with horror elements that kids could watch, like The Monster Squad. I figured it had clowns, science fiction elements, and I remember the trailer not being threatening at all. However, the 7-year-old Mat Elfring was not ready for this movie, and I still gets shivers when thinking about being trapped in cotton candy.
Bad News Bears (1976)
For it's time, the PG movie following a baseball coach of a team of foul-mouthed little leaguers was harmless. However, more than likely, this exact movie would earn an R rating today. You can't get away with what these kids say in a 2018 film, let alone the drinking and smoking in the movie. Even when the movie was remade in 2005, it felt watered-down compared to the original, to earn a PG-13 rating. For the nasty language, which includes some racial slurs, this movie does not play well to children.
Garbage Pail Kids: The Movie (1987)
Whoever thought making a movie based on trading cards, which was a parody of a kids toys, was a good idea was an idiot. The once very hard to find Garbage Pail Kids movie got a Blu-ray release a few years back, but that doesn't mean you should pick it up. Around the 20 minute mark, one of the kids pees his pants, one eats an eyeball--out of a lunchbox filled with them--one has snot all over her hand, and one threatens to stab a child with a switchblade. Also, there's one that vomits and one that farts a bunch. It's way too much gross out stuff for one movie. Worse yet, there's a musical number around 35 minutes in where the Garbage Pail Kids sing, "We can do anything by working with each other." I don't know what's worse.
Sausage Party (2016)
We're all well aware now that Sausage Party is not for kids, but do yourself a favor and watch the first 55 seconds of this trailer. It's totally presented like a fun movie for all ages to enjoy. Sure, the rest of the trailer is the exact opposite, but if you tuned out for the latter half, you'd totally think this is a kids movie. Sausage Party contains enough sexual innuendo and violence--even though the violence is directed to food--to warrant an R rating. Also, according to fellow GameSpot Universe writer, Chris Hayner, there were plenty of kids in the theater when he saw Sausage Party, and a few stayed until the end.
Batman: The Killing Joke (2016)
DC Entertainment has put out a slew of Batman animated movies and series, and all of them are kid-friendly. The Killing Joke is not the case. It's violent, dark, and there's the whole "Batman and Batgirl have sex on a roof" thing that happens early on in the movie. Brave and the Bold this is not.
Robocop (1987)
It may seem silly to you that Robocop is on this list considering how horrifically violent it is, but a year after its release, Robocop got its own toy line and animated series. Many adult action and sci-fi movie eventually became marketed to '80s kids, with Aliens and Predator also being prime examples. As a little kid during this time, after I played with my Robocop toys and watched the terrible cartoon, all I wanted to do was see the movie. And I was not ready for it.
The Witches (1990)
As a writer, Roald Dahl has created some classic works including The BFG, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and The Witches. Dahl's work could, at times, have horrific elements in the stories, but all-in-all, they were still children's books. The big screen adaptation of The Witches, though, was pretty terrifying. Seeing the story of witches at a convention, taking off their wigs and revealing their true selves was just a bit too much for younger viewers.
Gremlins (1984)
Much like Killer Klowns from Outer Space, it seemed like Gremlins was marketed to kids. The mid-80s movie was presented by Steven Spielberg--who two years prior made E.T.--this was a movie before PG-13 was a rating from the MPAA. While Gremlins still holds up as an amazing movie, it is really not for kids. There are plenty of scares and the gremlins themselves will gives children (or me back in 1986) nightmares.
Bebe's Kids (1992)
On its surface, the animated adventures of a man bringing his girlfriend's rambunctious kids to a theme park seems like a solid film for children. However, the PG-13 rated Bebe's Kids is just a tad too adult for kids. There's nothing here that will horrify children, like melting monsters--which is totally a repeating theme in the '80s and '90s--but there's some "lax morals" throughout the movie and some naughty language. Also, there's a robotic Richard Nixon, Sure, why not?