Introduction to Asperger's Syndrome

I've posted an extract of a book I'm currently working to my blog right here.

Let me know what you think.

Thanks!

First off, mad respect for undertaking a project of this nature. It takes courage to start and endurance to finish!

In regards to your writing, there are a few things that stick out and are worthy of mention. First, paragraphs. Use them. Whenever you go onto another theory or idea, you need to start a new paragraph. Each of your paragraphs could easily be broken down (and should be) into smaller, more manageable chunks. Big paragraphs are intimidating!

Second, you have too many sentences beginning with a word, then a comma, then the rest of the sentence. So, unfortunately, but, etc. This is killing the flow of your work! This type of writing is used to stop the flow intentionally or redirect it towards something else...but if you do it too often, the writing becomes jerky and difficult to read. People want to get lost in whenever they read, even if it's medical in nature, and all of these breaks are pulling people back out. It's an easy fix and leads to stronger writing.

Finally, when you state something as theory, state it as theory and not as fact. What comes to mind immediately is the cells splitting in the ocean bit. While possible, and even likely, it's only one theory of how life started here on this planet. Explain it as such. Nothing has been proven as fact, and as such, stating it so makes you lose credibility with your fan-base. Not to mention you've just alienated the majority of your god believing readers.  A simple "if" could do wonders here, not mention if you also included other streams of thought. Did god make me this way? Am I destined to be this? Whatever. Appeal to your audience. 

Otherwise I really think it's good and I think you have the ability to truly appeal to your audience and write from the heart which is both rare and imperative in a topic of this nature! I hope this helps and let me know if you have any other questions!  

Thanks for your input, Saigo.

I agree with you totally. Particularly the glaring contradiction between a scientific theory and the otherwise philosophical tone of the book. Luckily it's the only instance of science that appears in it so far so it's easily fixed.

I'll add it to my list of amendments.

I agree with Saigo's input. You may believe that there is only one way in which the earth was created, and how things evolved, but when you are trying to reach larger audiences and this is not the basis of your message, it is best to identify that what you think is a theory so it doesn't discredit you in the eyes of readers who do not prescribe to your beliefs and, instead, can see you as a logical person who really does try to look at multiple sides of natural occurrences (like what you're pondering regarding the origin of Asperger's Syndrome). I don't see it as waffling, either, it's perfectly acceptable to say that you prescribe to a certain set of beliefs, but it's never a bad thing to acknowledge that other ideas exist.

So, maybe Asperger's Syndrome simply unlocks the rest of it or offers that extra dimension needed to spot quicker or more efficient ways of approaching a situation.

I wouldn't say it unlocks the "rest" of the brain, that's a bit of a stretch even if Aspies tend to identify "more efficient ways of approaching a situation". That statement, too, is suspect. Was it really efficient to  knock things over in order to get to the front of the class more quickly? It only shows that your idea of efficiency is not conventional, maybe even a bit single tracked based on the command to get to the front of the class quickly, where you see that as the highest priority above all else, and the aftermath is not considered of picking items back up or repairing broken equipment. This is a bit nit-picky and not necessarily an evaluation of the writing itself, but I am fascinated about how others perceive things and think, and this made me think, which is the point of your writing...

I would also suggest breaking the piece down into more paragraphs (and not using italics), it is a bit hard on the eyes without a conscious break here and there, where appropriate.

Defining your use of "Aspies" within the introduction would also be ideal so that people understand how you're using it, as you've explained in your comments.

I appreciate how you describe the "colors" in your mind, and Asperger's being that black cloud, it gives the reader a mental image of the struggle you face and how you perceive what has happened. Personally, I see people with these kinds of syndromes as working with a different set of tools. They aren't necessarily smarter or less intelligent than the average person, they just do things differently. As you mentioned, you may be great at finding unique and efficient ways to do things, yet reading social cues is as maddening as it is for the average high school student to write a dissertation on string theory! 

This introduction is interesting, and so far a good prelude to your book--a great undertaking and I wish you the best of luck.