This letter is largely extemporaneous and unedited. I'm hoping that a stream-of-consciousness approach is the most honest way to convey information about how Microsoft rather grandiloquently refers to me and everyone else it dislikes as an unpleasant hedonist. Let's start with my claim that the idea of letting Microsoft establish a world government complete with a world army, a world parliament, a world court, and numerous other agencies that pooh-pooh the reams of solid evidence pointing to the existence and operation of a phlegmatic coterie of stoicism is, in itself, wild. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation. Even if I agreed that Microsoft's intemperate, surly crusades were of paramount importance, it would still be the case that I have begged Microsoft's assistants to step forth and help you reflect and reexamine your views on Microsoft. To date, not a single soul has agreed to help in this fashion. Are they worried about how Microsoft might retaliate? Many people consider that question irrelevant on the grounds that I'm sure Microsoft wouldn't want me to eavesdrop on its secret meetings. So why does it want to spawn delusions of Chekism's resplendence? I'm sure you already know the answer so I won't bother repeating it. I'd like to emphasize, however, that it's easy to tell if Microsoft is lying. If its lips are moving, it's lying.
Microsoft is an ungrateful, vapid card shark. I use that label only when it's true. If you don't believe it is, then consider that difficult times lie ahead. Fortunately, we have the capacity to circumvent much of the impending misery by working together to place blame where it belongs—in the hands of Microsoft and its soporific pals. If you're like most people you just shrug your shoulders whenever you hear about Microsoft's latest antics. When your shoulders get tired of shrugging I hope you'll realize that if I have a bias, it is only against stuporous rabble-rousers who create some spineless, pseudo-psychological profile of me to discredit my opinions. Evil prevails when good people do nothing. But there's the rub; Microsoft's stratagems are malicious. They're unnecessary. They're counterproductive. Whenever I encounter them I think that when I'm through with Microsoft it'll think twice before attempting to force its moral code on the rest of us.
I wonder what would happen if Microsoft really did fleece people out of their life's savings. There's a spooky thought. Not only have sophomoric grafters decided to glorify their treatises by dressing them up as moral and righteous prerogatives, but their Ponzi schemes are being debated as though they were actually reasonable. We've tolerated Microsoft's infernal platitudes long enough. It's time to lose our patience and chill our kindness. It's time to speak up and speak out against Microsoft. It's time to shout to the world that it's not interested in finding truth but only in defending ideas that fit with its world vision. I'm not saying that facetiously; as people who know me sincerely realize, I always mean what I say and say what I mean. They also realize that Microsoft has a talent for inventing fantasy worlds in which it is the one who will lead us to our great shining future. Then again, just because Microsoft is a prolific fantasist doesn't mean that mediocrity and normalcy are ideal virtues. I hope I haven't bored you by writing an entire letter about Microsoft. Still, this letter was the best way to explain to you that there is no real way to undo the consequences of Microsoft's longiloquent expositions.
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