Microsoft's greatest secret

Since last year Microsoft has been secretly constructing a giant authentic Halo beyond the Moon. If my sources are correct there is one thing different about this Halo... instead of harbouring the Flood it has in its quarantine facilities Halo fanboys. Scientists are now working hard to find what chemical inbalance causes Halo fanboys to become so zealous over the game; Microsoft's hope is to unlock this secret so they can make a retrovirus which will genetically alter every human on Earth to become a Halo 3 fanboy.

The experiments would proceed faster if it wasn't for one flaw; Halo fanboyism seems to cause males to revert to pre-puberty stages causing high-pitched voices and making the word **** and the action of "tea-bagging" fun. Hopefully this flaw can be fixed, if not it may be decades before Microsoft makes everyone Halo fans.

That my friends was only phase one! The second phase initiates when Microsoft announces the Church of Halo of which Master Chief is the god. Once a member of the Church of Halo becomes a veteran they recieve an authentic SPARTAN II battle armor made from super-light titanium alloys rendering the wearer completely bulletproof while providing an individual atmosphere for hazardous situations.

If this is all true... I CAN'T WAIT! I want that armor now!

I must say MS are good at turning gamers / people into jibbering halo fanboys.

Sure there are the odd educated ones, who can see outside tunnel vision, but damn, there are alot of ignorant ones.

:P sorta funny ..but only cause it's true.

And at the Great Revelation Master Chief takes his helmet off to his devotees, where we discover the manifestation of our God is Bill Gates?KungfuKitten

Lol, that was funny. Especially the second paragraph. Reminds me of this. Halo seems to be kiddy franchise since so many kids play it.

;)

Was I supposed to laugh...or what? :SV_Isle

No, you were supposed to be shocked at the illumination of such a dark secret.

Personally I love the Halo series and I eagerly await the third installation, but I'm scared of playing on-line.

Since........

ishxan

And you thought of this all by yourself? :shock:

And at the Great Revelation Master Chief takes his helmet off to his devotees, where we discover the manifestation of our God is Bill Gates?KungfuKitten

I've been saying this for the longest time:lol:. It's either Bill Gates under the helmet or Chuck Norris.

:lol: its funny because its true.gamerchris810

Funny? I think not.big_pimpin_99

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

I must say MS are good at turning gamers / people into jibbering halo fanboys.

Sure there are the odd educated ones, who can see outside tunnel vision, but damn, there are alot of ignorant ones.

skrat_01

It's funny that so many people feel they need to be the anti conformist and not just enjoy halo for what it is and feel that others need an excuse to enjoy a highly rated series of games.

Cry more.

Is the same going on with WoW, all my friends are starting to play that boring game.-Sora

maybe it is actually fun to play......just like the Halo series.

And for the screaming tards on XBL......well, it is like any other online games and real life. Except that these guys takes it to whole new level because of the anonymity factor.

Hey at least those fanboys have a game to play. There's this one system that has a Ninja Gaiden remake as it's best game unless you're counting the overrated Oblivion.Trashface

Overrated? It's one of the two games on the 360 that scored a 9.6 here on gamespot and 9.6 is the highest score a 360 game has received so far.

In regards to the tards on XBL, unplug your headset and mute the voices, you don't gain anything from hearing them, you just learn to hate them, more, and more...

Oh and TC, funny indeed, rabid Halo fanboys need to get a grip, and learn that there are other good games besides Halo.

[QUOTE="skrat_01"]

I must say MS are good at turning gamers / people into jibbering halo fanboys.

Sure there are the odd educated ones, who can see outside tunnel vision, but damn, there are alot of ignorant ones.

Spartan_024

Aussie servers arent bad (home servers for me), and there are plenty of americans, brits and germans who are good blokes, but jeez - jump onto a GeOW ranked server, which 90% of the time is U.S, and the amount of racist, homophobic, and over the top trash talk is astounding. In all my years PC gaming, XBL outdid it in terms of trash talkers in one single ranked match.

[QUOTE="Spartan_024"][QUOTE="skrat_01"]

I must say MS are good at turning gamers / people into jibbering halo fanboys.

Sure there are the odd educated ones, who can see outside tunnel vision, but damn, there are alot of ignorant ones.

skrat_01

Aussie servers arent bad (home servers for me), and there are plenty of americans, brits and germans who are good blokes, but jeez - jump onto a GeOW ranked server, which 90% of the time is U.S, and the amount of racist, homophobic, and over the top trash talk is astounding. In all my years PC gaming, XBL outdid it in terms of trash talkers in one single ranked match.

Thats americans for you, but who cares I love shooting idiots.

[QUOTE="Trashface"]Hey at least those fanboys have a game to play. There's this one system that has a Ninja Gaiden remake as it's best game unless you're counting the overrated Oblivion.Hexagon_777

Overrated? It's one of the two games on the 360 that scored a 9.6 here on gamespot and 9.6 is the highest score a 360 game has received so far.

Yes, Oblivion is overrated. It's pretty bland, the persusion system makes no sense, and there's too much hand holding. Morrowind deserved Oblivion's scores and Oblivion deserved 8.9 or so.

[QUOTE="skrat_01"][QUOTE="Spartan_024"][QUOTE="skrat_01"]

I must say MS are good at turning gamers / people into jibbering halo fanboys.

Sure there are the odd educated ones, who can see outside tunnel vision, but damn, there are alot of ignorant ones.

kevy619

Aussie servers arent bad (home servers for me), and there are plenty of americans, brits and germans who are good blokes, but jeez - jump onto a GeOW ranked server, which 90% of the time is U.S, and the amount of racist, homophobic, and over the top trash talk is astounding. In all my years PC gaming, XBL outdid it in terms of trash talkers in one single ranked match.

Thats americans for you, but who cares I love shooting idiots.

Generlizations can be stupid. I'm American and I care about the way I treat others.

[QUOTE="kevy619"][QUOTE="skrat_01"][QUOTE="Spartan_024"][QUOTE="skrat_01"]

I must say MS are good at turning gamers / people into jibbering halo fanboys.

Sure there are the odd educated ones, who can see outside tunnel vision, but damn, there are alot of ignorant ones.

Trashface

Aussie servers arent bad (home servers for me), and there are plenty of americans, brits and germans who are good blokes, but jeez - jump onto a GeOW ranked server, which 90% of the time is U.S, and the amount of racist, homophobic, and over the top trash talk is astounding. In all my years PC gaming, XBL outdid it in terms of trash talkers in one single ranked match.

Thats americans for you, but who cares I love shooting idiots.

Generlizations can be stupid. I'm American and I care about the way I treat others.

Aussie servers arent bad (home servers for me), and there are plenty of americans, brits and germans who are good blokes

skrat_01

You are assuming ive gerneralised ;)

[QUOTE="Trashface"][QUOTE="kevy619"][QUOTE="skrat_01"][QUOTE="Spartan_024"][QUOTE="skrat_01"]

I must say MS are good at turning gamers / people into jibbering halo fanboys.

Sure there are the odd educated ones, who can see outside tunnel vision, but damn, there are alot of ignorant ones.

skrat_01

Aussie servers arent bad (home servers for me), and there are plenty of americans, brits and germans who are good blokes, but jeez - jump onto a GeOW ranked server, which 90% of the time is U.S, and the amount of racist, homophobic, and over the top trash talk is astounding. In all my years PC gaming, XBL outdid it in terms of trash talkers in one single ranked match.

Thats americans for you, but who cares I love shooting idiots.

Generlizations can be stupid. I'm American and I care about the way I treat others.

Aussie servers arent bad (home servers for me), and there are plenty of americans, brits and germans who are good blokes

skrat_01

You are assuming ive gerneralised ;)

That was meant for kevy619 when he posted this>"Thats americans for you, but who cares I love shooting idiots."

[QUOTE="gamerchris810"]:lol: its funny because its true.GunSmith1_basic

Funny? I think not.big_pimpin_99

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

FINISH! FINISH! FINISH! FINISH!

THE!

Since last year Microsoft has been secretly constructing a giant authentic Halo beyond the Moon. If my sources are correct there is one thing different about this Halo... instead of harbouring the Flood it has in its quarantine facilities Halo fanboys. Scientists are now working hard to find what chemical inbalance causes Halo fanboys to become so zealous over the game; Microsoft's hope is to unlock this secret so they can make a retrovirus which will genetically alter every human on Earth to become a Halo 3 fanboy.

The experiments would proceed faster if it wasn't for one flaw; Halo fanboyism seems to cause males to revert to pre-puberty stages causing high-pitched voices and making the word **** and the action of "tea-bagging" fun. Hopefully this flaw can be fixed, if not it may be decades before Microsoft makes everyone Halo fans.

That my friends was only phase one! The second phase initiates when Microsoft announces the Church of Halo of which Master Chief is the god. Once a member of the Church of Halo becomes a veteran they recieve an authentic SPARTAN II battle armor made from super-light titanium alloys rendering the wearer completely bulletproof while providing an individual atmosphere for hazardous situations.

If this is all true... I CAN'T WAIT! I want that armor now!

ishxan

7/10

I thought this thread would be about Kingdom Hearts 3. :(SaintBlaze

The xbox is not going to get kh3. I'd guess the Wii will get that game, the whole disney happy-happy thing definitely sems to go with the Wii image.

Funny? I think not.big_pimpin_99

[QUOTE="GunSmith1_basic"]

[QUOTE="gamerchris810"]:lol: its funny because its true.Locke562

Funny? I think not.big_pimpin_99

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

FINISH! FINISH! FINISH! FINISH!

THE!

Homework???

Hard times buddy.

In regards to the tards on XBL, unplug your headset and mute the voices, you don't gain anything from hearing them, you just learn to hate them, more, and more...

Oh and TC, funny indeed, rabid Halo fanboys need to get a grip, and learn that there are other good games besides Halo.

Vis-a-Vis

Well duh there are other good games but I have never seen an easier game to gather up 16 friends and actually sit down and play for hours at a time. Granted lan parties happen occasionally but gathering 4 or so xboxes is so much easier than 16 pc's.

and since i'm in a list making mood

Reasons People play halo multiplayer incessantly

1. FUN (to most people any way)

2. great matchmaking system (it has flaws but you do a better job)

3. Its easy to team up with friends (and dominate!)

4. Halo CE really did multiplayer well and revolutionized the way I thought about gaming on a console (remember when 4 people on N64 was alot 16 person multiplayer is sick)

5. Playstation despite blowing away the xbox in numbers sold never had the multiplayer draw of halo (cannot even think of one time People in college got together to play socom or killzone)

Just for the record this isn't a bash Halo thread... it's about the really zealous fanboys. I love Halo and I can't wait for Halo 3 and I'm buying it for the campaign, believe it or not.

Since last year Microsoft has been secretly constructing a giant authentic Halo beyond the Moon. If my sources are correct there is one thing different about this Halo... instead of harbouring the Flood it has in its quarantine facilities Halo fanboys. Scientists are now working hard to find what chemical inbalance causes Halo fanboys to become so zealous over the game; Microsoft's hope is to unlock this secret so they can make a retrovirus which will genetically alter every human on Earth to become a Halo 3 fanboy.

The experiments would proceed faster if it wasn't for one flaw; Halo fanboyism seems to cause males to revert to pre-puberty stages causing high-pitched voices and making the word **** and the action of "tea-bagging" fun. Hopefully this flaw can be fixed, if not it may be decades before Microsoft makes everyone Halo fans.

That my friends was only phase one! The second phase initiates when Microsoft announces the Church of Halo of which Master Chief is the god. Once a member of the Church of Halo becomes a veteran they recieve an authentic SPARTAN II battle armor made from super-light titanium alloys rendering the wearer completely bulletproof while providing an individual atmosphere for hazardous situations.

If this is all true... I CAN'T WAIT! I want that armor now!

ishxan

When has there there ever been a several million people community therewasn't any12 year olds? Halo Is a great game get over it.

[QUOTE="ishxan"]

Since last year Microsoft has been secretly constructing a giant authentic Halo beyond the Moon. If my sources are correct there is one thing different about this Halo... instead of harbouring the Flood it has in its quarantine facilities Halo fanboys. Scientists are now working hard to find what chemical inbalance causes Halo fanboys to become so zealous over the game; Microsoft's hope is to unlock this secret so they can make a retrovirus which will genetically alter every human on Earth to become a Halo 3 fanboy.

The experiments would proceed faster if it wasn't for one flaw; Halo fanboyism seems to cause males to revert to pre-puberty stages causing high-pitched voices and making the word **** and the action of "tea-bagging" fun. Hopefully this flaw can be fixed, if not it may be decades before Microsoft makes everyone Halo fans.

That my friends was only phase one! The second phase initiates when Microsoft announces the Church of Halo of which Master Chief is the god. Once a member of the Church of Halo becomes a veteran they recieve an authentic SPARTAN II battle armor made from super-light titanium alloys rendering the wearer completely bulletproof while providing an individual atmosphere for hazardous situations.

If this is all true... I CAN'T WAIT! I want that armor now!

Tobin09

When has there there ever beena several million people community there wern't 12 year olds? Halo Is a great game get over it.

Where did I say Halo was a bad game? I'm actually a fan of the series ;)

[QUOTE="V_Isle"]Was I supposed to laugh...or what? :Sishxan

No, you were supposed to be shocked at the illumination of such a dark secret.

Personally I love the Halo series and I eagerly await the third installation, but I'm scared of playing on-line.