Happy Second Birthday, Vita!

Ahh, Vita, you miserable pile of shit. Ever since I got you, you've been so much better to me than my 3DS has. You've been a valiant replacement for my PS3 and 360 for the past few months, and for that, I applaud you. You've been with me through thick and thin, through storms chasing a white whale that was actual sales. Of course, in this case, Moby Dick was never caught because LOL at your sales.

Only the Vita can get outsold by its competitor by a 49:1 margin

So the Vita turns two on February 22nd, 2014 in North America and hopefully Sony throws some sales our way.Seeing as I have nothing better to do on my Saturday night, here's some cake and some (sad) stats

As of its first two years on the market, the Vita has released

195 games in the US.

The 3DS, when it turned two, had

140

In 2013, known by some as the "Year of the 3DS," the Vita had

31 games released with over a 75 Metacritic score

The 3DS had

24

On GameSpot, the Vita has 5 games released with a 9.0 or higher (not counting Bit.Trip Runner 2 and Rayman Legends, both reviewed with a 9 on other systems, not having a Vita score)

The 3DS has 1

In 2014, the Vita has 6 games with a 75 Metacritic score or higher, and games 8 with a 70 or higher

The 3DS has with 2 games a 75 or higher and 3 with a 70 or higher.

Out of those 2014 releases with a 70 or higher, the Vita has 5 exclusive titles. The 3DS has3

Of course, on the other hand, of games released in 2014, the Vita has 0 games with a 45 Metacritic score or lower. The 3DS has 1

Looking at what matters the most, the 3DS has sold 42 million units

The Vita has sold

Who the **** owns a Vita?

Happy birthday Vita. You've done well.

Eughh...

Whats with the spoilers? Anyway, 2 years and plenty of good games. I'm really enjoying my Vita.

@lamprey263:

I know of a few would-be-mom's that would slowly gut you like a fish for that comment.

Vita's dead. 3DS master race has won!

Vita's problem is not that it "has no games" or that it's competing with 3DS.... it's that tablets and smart phones exist.

Vita is a well made product for a demographic that no longer perches handhelds. Only children and man-childs play handhelds now, a demographic Nintendo excels in catering too. The socially accepted for of mobile entertainment for adults are Phones and tablets.

That being said... the Vita section is almost gone if not completely gone from retail stores.

lol

if you compete with 3DS you deserve to be the OUYA of portable.

But still hopefully it get some ports, it need alot of them.

All of a sudden you are pro Vita? I don't get you man lol

Um, actually they do, you piece of shit

More like second funeral.

That Chobot gif aptly defines the Vita.

Most of Vitas good games are on other platforms :(. I still want one.

maybe hes faking his excitement for the Vita lol. Must try very hard for that.

That was... pretty bad form.

I love my Vita lol

I just love my 3DS more

It's likely because you lack understanding. It's more than a "port."

Lol yea i should try it first i forgot Vita actually has 2 games. compared to N3DS 1,000 games.

@Slashkice: i am in love

Bravely Default has me rapt, unlike your trolling.

2 games that are actually good but still not worth it.

Wow, you need to take some lessons from some classic trolls of SW.

@Slashkice said:

I don't think I can handle an anniversary sale. My Vita's backlog has grown too big with the onslaught of releases, PS+ games, and usual discounts. D:

Happy Birthday Vita, you money and time consuming bastard.

Isn't that suppose to be a psp? lol

I remember seeing that gif years ago

Persona 4 Golden, Tearaway, Ys: Memories of Celceta, Toukiden: Age of Demons, Soul Sacrifice, Gravity Rush, Uncharted: Golden Abyss, Killzone Mercenary, LittleBigPlanet, Wipeout 2048.

Count more than two there, bud.

I dont know whats more funny the fact that you're calling me a troll for speaking truth or the fact that you own a Vita.

I'd be happy to concoct a selection of threads in which you can learn from the masters... If you want. Otherwise, you can just continue to ramble.

I'd be happy if we stop hating eachother and Accept the fact Vita is trash and shall be removed from Retail Stores to make room for other consoles or portables.

I dont do Birthdays for pieces of plastic btw.

Can't believe it's been two years. Wish Sony gave me more reasons to own one. 2 years later and there's still only one game I want for it -- Persona 4 The Golden.

and it's well worth it

I don't hate you. I simply believe that your trolling needs some refined taste... A higher education, in which you may rise to mediocre status.

Yep, and it's absolutely worth it

Lol. Yep.

What part you on?

One game is not enough for me to buy a platform, even if it's Persona 4.

@lundy86_4: You can't teach a bad troll new/better things

It may be false hope, but I do hope to inspire. Mediocrity is just sad :(

BTW, awesome avatar.

Hopefully PS Vita gets some games for its birthday.

I suppose there is no accounting for taste.

Haters keep hating the Vita, but it has some damn fine games that make it worth owning.

@charizard1605: Waiting for

Dude. The best parts are yet to come. It gets so amazing now. Hnnnngh.

Also remember, there is only one true waifu: Chie.

Okay, usually I ignore your remarks, but that's just in bad taste, you inconsequential asshat.

@lundy86_4: Ty :P, can't wait for GotG.

@Slashkice said:

I don't think I can handle an anniversary sale. My Vita's backlog has grown too big with the onslaught of releases, PS+ games, and usual discounts. D:

Happy Birthday Vita, you money and time consuming bastard.

Please marry me.

Other than that, it's a great console, and I hope it continues to receive well deserved support.

Manchildren>>>bro gamers. Deeper games too.

Oh, that is an amazing sig, bro