You're in a relationship with someone.

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nekrothing

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#1 nekrothing
Member since 2008 • 387 Posts

You've been dating this person for months now and you really enjoy being with them. Just as things are about to get serious, the person you've been dating has a confession to make. Turns out they're actually a post-op transvestite. What do you do?

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themajormayor

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#2 themajormayor
Member since 2011 • 25729 Posts
Break up
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KiIIyou

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#3 KiIIyou
Member since 2006 • 27204 Posts
Dat means no baby din. :(
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megagene

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#4 megagene
Member since 2005 • 23161 Posts
Ugh.
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deactivated-5b78379493e12

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#5 deactivated-5b78379493e12
Member since 2005 • 15625 Posts

Atrapitis.gif

Seriously though get your terms right. Transvestite wears clothes of the opposite sex. You're referring to a transexual. You have to decide if it bothers you that the correct parts weren't there from the start. 

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deactivated-5b1e62582e305

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#6 deactivated-5b1e62582e305
Member since 2004 • 30778 Posts

I'd feel lied too and feel this person abused my trust so that would definitely infuriate me and not the actual being post-op transgender part.

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Decko5

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#7 Decko5
Member since 2004 • 9428 Posts
Oh god, I would feel betrayed and be disgusted and angry. No offense but that is deceptive.
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Pirate700

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#8 Pirate700
Member since 2008 • 46465 Posts

Run for the hills.

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KiIIyou

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#9 KiIIyou
Member since 2006 • 27204 Posts

Run for the hills.

Pirate700
Billy's in the hillies.
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jaycouvera

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#10 jaycouvera
Member since 2003 • 280 Posts
Hit it, ain't nothing wrong with a little floppage.
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jaycouvera

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#12 jaycouvera
Member since 2003 • 280 Posts

I honestly wouldn't care.  If I'm in a relationship with this person, I would love her for who she is, not who she was.

InEMplease
Ditto. If you're in love you'll accept them for who they are.
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DJ-Lafleur

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#13 DJ-Lafleur
Member since 2007 • 35604 Posts

I'd feel lied too and feel this person abused my trust so that would definitely infuriate me and not the actual being post-op transgender part.

Aljosa23

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Omni-Wrath

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#14 Omni-Wrath
Member since 2008 • 1970 Posts

Dating for months and now I am finding out they have "other parts"? Unlikely. If there is no intercourse withing two weeks, I go for someone elese. Unless that person is the most special person I have met. 

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deactivated-5b1e62582e305

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#15 deactivated-5b1e62582e305
Member since 2004 • 30778 Posts

Run for the hills.

Pirate700

That's silly. If you've already been with them for a while and had sex already and didn't notice anything "wrong", I don't get the need for a dramatic response.

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MonsieurX

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#16 MonsieurX
Member since 2008 • 39858 Posts
I cry a little
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chrisrooR

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#17 chrisrooR
Member since 2007 • 9027 Posts
Break it off.
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jaycouvera

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#18 jaycouvera
Member since 2003 • 280 Posts
Break it off. chrisrooR
The relationship or ...?
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chrisrooR

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#19 chrisrooR
Member since 2007 • 9027 Posts
[QUOTE="chrisrooR"]Break it off. jaycouvera
The relationship or ...?

;)
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LZ71

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#20 LZ71
Member since 2008 • 10524 Posts
Trust and honesty are very important to me in relationships, so yeah, I'd have a big problem if they lied to me for all that time.
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Gaming-Planet

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#22 Gaming-Planet
Member since 2008 • 21064 Posts

Sorry, I want kids.

I believe you're a great person but I want to have my own kids.

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michael_1234576

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#23 michael_1234576
Member since 2004 • 8621 Posts
If she looked good enough that I didn't notice then who cares?
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LZ71

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#24 LZ71
Member since 2008 • 10524 Posts

[QUOTE="LZ71"]Trust and honesty are very important to me in relationships, so yeah, I'd have a big problem if they lied to me for all that time. InEMplease

Ask yourself, would you have tried to pursue a relationship if they let you know the day you met them that they were a post-op transsexual?  Think of it as a case of trust, rather than deceit.

I can't answer that question, because I honestly have no idea. I've never been in a situation even remotely similar to that so I don't want to pretend like I know how I'd react. I'm not ruling it out, I just don't want to confine myself to an answer specifically.
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nightshade869

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#25 nightshade869
Member since 2007 • 3457 Posts
Break up right away. Honesty is key in a relationship and they did not live up to it...plus that is just messed up.
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Pittfan666

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#26 Pittfan666
Member since 2003 • 8638 Posts
Get a bar of soap and wash my mouth out. Plus ask myself why it took so long to get to their base.
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GreekGameManiac

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#27 GreekGameManiac
Member since 2010 • 6439 Posts

You've been dating this person for months now and you really enjoy being with them. Just as things are about to get serious, the person you've been dating has a confession to make. Turns out they're actually a post-op transvestite. What do you do?

nekrothing

Lol...........

You've known them for months,and NOW u found out they are that?

*shakes head*

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zeldaluff

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#28 zeldaluff
Member since 2008 • 3387 Posts

I guess I'd be thankful they did tell me before it was serious. I'm not sure if I could get over it or not.

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Wolfetan

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#29 Wolfetan
Member since 2010 • 7522 Posts
[QUOTE="Pirate700"]

Run for the hills.

KiIIyou
Billy's in the hillies.

:lol:
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-Renegade

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#30 -Renegade
Member since 2007 • 8340 Posts
Sound's like that show catfish.
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BenedictArnold7

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#31 BenedictArnold7
Member since 2012 • 743 Posts
It would be a dream come true.
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AmazonTreeBoa

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#32 AmazonTreeBoa
Member since 2011 • 16745 Posts
I end up in prison for murder.
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Shottayouth13-

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#33 Shottayouth13-
Member since 2009 • 7018 Posts
I'd probably walk out with a bloodied shirt.
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BluRayHiDef

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#34 BluRayHiDef
Member since 2009 • 10839 Posts

You mean that all this time I would have been putting my mushroom tip inside of another, rearranged mushroom tip? Murder, or severe assault and battery at the very least.

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ghoklebutter

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#35 ghoklebutter
Member since 2007 • 19327 Posts
Since I'm trans* myself, I would be a hypocrite if I rejected such a person for that reason.
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MistressMinako

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#36 MistressMinako
Member since 2008 • 45964 Posts
I would probably just shrug it off. I would be a little upset but hey that's a tough thing to say to someone. Most people wouldn't give that person a second glance when they drop that kind of bomb on them so it makes sense that it was kept a secret. Then again, they might as well tell them because if they can't accept that then forget them.
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ghoklebutter

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#37 ghoklebutter
Member since 2007 • 19327 Posts

[QUOTE="nekrothing"]

You've been dating this person for months now and you really enjoy being with them. Just as things are about to get serious, the person you've been dating has a confession to make. Turns out they're actually a post-op transvestite. What do you do?

GreekGameManiac

Lol...........

You've known them for months,and NOW u found out they are that?

*shakes head*

Finding out by yourself isn't nearly as easy as it seems. Many post-op trans* people are nearly indistinguishable from non-trans* folks.
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ghoklebutter

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#38 ghoklebutter
Member since 2007 • 19327 Posts

Then again, they might as well tell them because if they can't accept that then forget them.MistressMinako
Yeah, that makes sense. On the other hand, though, it's rather mean to pressure trans* people to come out to their partners because quite a few of them have a hard time finding trans*-friendly partners, and so they often settle for people who may or may not be trans*-friendly but still likable in important ways. Trans* people should definitely be careful in relationships, but I don't have any problems with trans* people who keep their histories to themselves in their romantic relationships.

Oh, and there's also the fact that many trans* people are too afraid to disclose their histories to partners because they fear transphobic violence.  

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deactivated-5e9044657a310

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#39 deactivated-5e9044657a310
Member since 2005 • 8136 Posts
If I really loved them it would make no difference to me.
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MistressMinako

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#40 MistressMinako
Member since 2008 • 45964 Posts

[QUOTE="MistressMinako"]Then again, they might as well tell them because if they can't accept that then forget them.ghoklebutter

Yeah, that makes sense. On the other hand, though, it's rather mean to pressure trans* people to come out to their partners because quite a few of them have a hard time finding trans*-friendly partners, and so they often settle for people who may or may not be trans*-friendly but still likable in important ways. Trans* people should definitely be careful in relationships, but I don't have any problems with trans* people who keep their histories to themselves in their romantic relationships.

Oh, and there's also the fact that many trans* people are too afraid to disclose their histories to partners because they fear transphobic violence.  

Well, I don't think that they have to I guess I just was thinking they should if they wanted to so there won't be any secrets in the relationship. I don't think they should stick to other transgendered people just mainly people who would accept them for who they are. I guess it wouldn't matter to me either way if they told me or not but to some people it matters so that's why I said that. Actually, I never really thought of abuse. I guess if that was me, I would be very selective on who I tell these kind of things to. Come to think of it, my friend just admitted to this on Facebook that this has been pondering her (well his mind) for a long time. Most of his friends already knew (excluding me because we aren't that close yet). I think his family got pissed off about it, he recently just made a new Facebook account with friends only. Right now I am still trying to get used to the new name and switching from her/she to him/he.
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ghoklebutter

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#41 ghoklebutter
Member since 2007 • 19327 Posts

[QUOTE="ghoklebutter"]

[QUOTE="MistressMinako"]Then again, they might as well tell them because if they can't accept that then forget them.MistressMinako

Yeah, that makes sense. On the other hand, though, it's rather mean to pressure trans* people to come out to their partners because quite a few of them have a hard time finding trans*-friendly partners, and so they often settle for people who may or may not be trans*-friendly but still likable in important ways. Trans* people should definitely be careful in relationships, but I don't have any problems with trans* people who keep their histories to themselves in their romantic relationships.

Oh, and there's also the fact that many trans* people are too afraid to disclose their histories to partners because they fear transphobic violence.  

Well, I don't think that they have to I guess I just was thinking they should if they wanted to so there won't be any secrets in the relationship. I don't think they should stick to other transgendered people just mainly people who would accept them for who they are. I guess it wouldn't matter to me either way if they told me or not but to some people it matters so that's why I said that. Actually, I never really thought of abuse. I guess if that was me, I would be very selective on who I tell these kind of things to. Come to think of it, my friend just admitted to this on Facebook that this has been pondering her (well his mind) for a long time. Most of his friends already knew (excluding me because we aren't that close yet). I think his family got pissed off about it, he recently just made a new Facebook account with friends only. Right now I am still trying to get used to the new name and switching from her/she to him/he.

Oh, no worries. I understand. As a trans* person myself, I mention my trans* status very quickly upon meeting someone I really like (in a romantic way or otherwise) and feel is accepting of folks like me. The last thing I need is more intolerance in my life. And I'm also one of those people who likes to be open with many people.

Abuse of trans* people is sadly quite common. So is breaking up (especially when one partner (usually cis) finds out about the other's trans* status). IIRC, about 1 in 2 trans* people who come out to their partners end up losing relationships with those partners. I don't have any problems with cis people who don't want to stay in such relationships, though. It's their right.

And it's sad to hear that he's not being accepted by his family. =[ That's another reason many of us trans* folks are reluctant about coming out to partners - if we come out to partners, then the news may spread and reach family members who aren't so kind (especially if the partners are vengeful in some way). I myself fear how intense and hateful my religious family's reaction will be when they find out.

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tocool340

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#42 tocool340
Member since 2004 • 21653 Posts

iron

Followed by finding the nearest toilet to puke in. That relationship is pretty much done from that point on...

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Gamefan1986

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#43 Gamefan1986
Member since 2005 • 1325 Posts

Wow that is pretty much my worst nightmare relationship wise. I honestly have no idea how I'd react, Although I'm hoping I would be able to distinguish actual chicks from dudes who wish they were chicks before it ever got to that point.

I'd like to pretend that I'm enlightened enough that something like this wouldn't bother the hell out of me, but I'd be furious enough that I could lose control of my temper and I might lash out, but I'd probably end up eating a bullet.

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jaycouvera

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#44 jaycouvera
Member since 2003 • 280 Posts
Many transgendered women are VERY passable, it can be hard to tell.
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junglist101

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#45 junglist101
Member since 2007 • 5517 Posts

At least from what I've seen it's not to hard to spot a fake snatch.

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jaycouvera

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#46 jaycouvera
Member since 2003 • 280 Posts
Well I meant aside from getting close to snatch territory.
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leeveeu

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#47 leeveeu
Member since 2003 • 3405 Posts
Thankfully, where I live, these people do not really exist.
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jaycouvera

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#48 jaycouvera
Member since 2003 • 280 Posts
Probably because it sucks where you live.
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deactivated-5b19214ec908b

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#49 deactivated-5b19214ec908b
Member since 2007 • 25072 Posts

If i hadn't noticed by that point I don't think it matters much. I'd be annoyed that they didn't tell me earlier though since it makes me think they assumed I'm the type of person that would have a problem with that which i'm not.

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leeveeu

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#50 leeveeu
Member since 2003 • 3405 Posts
Probably because it sucks where you live.jaycouvera
No, just your mother.