Why does the average person prefers to stay average?

Why do average people not panic from staying average?

I mean they have an average salary, an average wealth, an average spouse and an average lifestyle.

Why dont average people try to break out of the average prison they are in?

@plasticpie: what would the alternative be?

Also keep in mind what average means, if everyone did something else that would be the new average.

I'm pretty happy with my life, and don't waste a lot of time comparing myself to others. Not everything has to be a competition.

"I have something that a rich man never will. Enough".

- Joseph Heller

I know but the average doesnt advance fast enough to be worthy.

So, you say that you can be achieve happiness without competing??!?

What is good that doesnt come from competition?!

@plasticpie: Lots good things come from competition, but lots of bad can come from it too. Greed is good, but take it too far and you get dudes like Bernie Madoff. What's important is finding the right balance.

I could earn more money moving to a position that requires more time and enery, but that would mean less time to spend with my kids. I make enough to live fairly comfortably, and have enough flexibility to call out if my kids get sick or something. It's the right balance for my life right now. That may change as the kids get older and more independent, and at that point I would try to find my new balance.

Because they’re happy and/or content with what they have and where they are in life? 🤷‍♂️

Nothing wrong with that.

I think that the more someone has the more they want without limits. Usually when a person has 1 million,the strong majority wants more and so on and so forth. The majority always are not happy with just the simple things they have.

What is "average"?

I would argue these people are not average, they simply know that grasping for more, working harder for more, would be either over-reaching or it wouldn't be worth the trouble.

Average is nice. It's stable. It doesn't get any unwanted attention.

I agree. The biggest whiners tend to be the ones that have a lot.

I'm a big believer of the old adage "the things you own end up owning you". The less you have--the more "average" you are--the freer you are.

If you get a good paying job, you will have to work a lot of hours; if you want nice things, you will accrue debt. Eventually you'll get to the point 10 years in where you can't do what you want because you have a wife, kid, and pets and even if you could you're too busy saving money from a job that no longer pays enough for your mortgage and family to just go on vacation.

Nope, not for me. No problem if that's the life someone else wants--most people tend to pursue the American nightmare Dream with gusto--but I'll pass.

Yeah, getting off of social media (specifically Facebook) did wonders for my self-esteem lol.

I was always comparing myself to people I knew and frankly I just got depressed over it. Now I'm feeling much better about just living my life.

@mrbojangles25: It depends on how you manage your money. it's true that there is huge social pressure to grow your expenditure as you grow your income.So you end up in debt or without savings even if you are working your ass off.

The best friend of my wife is like that. she is really in to luxury brands, she considers that since it's her money she should do whatever she wants with it. The issue is that afterwards, she and her husband are unable to do any of the things they want to to because they have no savings, and all they have to show for their work are expensive bags.

As for me, i have experienced pressure to have a car, a luxury wedding, a large apartment (financed with debt), expensive clothes and devices, most of it coming from my wife's family and friends.

I have made a point of telling everyone how much of a cheapstake i am. Not because i really like money. But because spending less allows me to have what i prioritize without having to work my ass of everyday in things i don't like.

Now i do work hard in the things that i like, but those don't always give a lot money. But i enjoy it, so i do it anyway.

Oh, really is that sheep thinking is a winning one. My belief is that once you achieve all your major goals, then you can stop and rest, else everything is wrong!

Which cartoon inspired that wisdom? Let me guess, Aladin or the Lion King?

I am so lucky to think that kids are not a marker of an achievement or are a need to be happy.

I think Average People are part of society, I think they should exist.

They should at least try college and get a vocation/degree in anything.

They should strive enough to be happy, and if you are happy and average, well, that's the point of life.

@plasticpie: It’s only “right or wrong” for the individual. Live your life how you see fit.

You’re going to die, maybe sooner than you expect. You ain’t taking your crap with you; valuables, relationships, money, etc. It ends when you hit the grave.

It’s like I’m reading a post from Patrick Bateman.

Perhaps it's derived from a fear of failure. Part of me wants to be in a relationship, but I'm afraid of getting my heart broken, so I choose to not engage. I know that that's not going to solve my problem, though.

average in what sense? income? wealth? hobbies? education? community involvement, etc...?

there are a million things you can measure yourself against. i'd wager that many people are above average in the things they deem important and are less than average in the things they don't care about.

you have to pick your battles.

i can't imagine the discontent a person would feel at NEVER feeling that something is good enough. jesus, that sounds like a terrible way to live one's life.

as someone less average than i once said: "my self worth is not tied to how slick my phone is"

You dont believe that there are life rules that we need to impose on ourselves to mature into and make ourselves the best we can be? If the answer is no. Then think about those who invested in you or will invest in the future. Do they want you to be alcoholic, unfit, lazy and lack in self-esteem?

I would rather die as a legend or trying to be a legend than dying a as a non-achiever (something that my haters from the past want to see).

Anyone who follows a worthwhile goal to make him more valuable experiences failure. It is up to you to decide how you are going to perceive the failure and take action!

I am actually okay with feeling that I am always not good enough. That gives me more reason to seek how to master my imperfections. Perfect self-worth is a lie that masquerades our flaws.

everyone has flaws and you'll never master them all. key is to find the right balance.

@plasticpie: Well now you’re conflating the topic. There’s a world of difference between being “average” and being an alcoholic, unfit, or lacking self esteem. Being “average” does not equate to any of those nor does it mean someone is lazy either. One should always want to strive to be a happy and healthy individual. Being happy and content with being average can most certainly be a part of that equation.

It can. Actually, a person or group of people could agree to be average and reject betterment or progress. My argument is that in todays world, you cant stay average... I can give you a list of things why not, the question is if you want me to?!

@plasticpie: Never claimed it as being absolute just pointing out that people can be happy, healthy, and content with being “average” and that doesn’t equate to being an alcoholic, unfit, lazy, or lacking self esteem. Life isn’t a “one size fits all” thing. Constantly wanting to be better can also lead to a very unhealthy and unhappy life as well.

I dont know from which country you are from, but I am from Israel. Here is what the cost of being average:

- Mortgage is not affordable.

- Pay that doesnt improve over time and doesnt allow much savings.

- Kids.

- Job that you hate and will continue to hate until you are retired.

- Just an average or below average spouse.

- Few or no strengths that are significant to what other sheep in the herd possess.

- Some ability to enjoy the limited choices that life has to offer.

Give me an example of when constantly wanting to be better leads to unhealthy and unhappy life?

@plasticpie: There’s plenty of ways that stressing out over always wanting “better” can lead to personal relationship problems and substance abuse.

Anyway I don’t know why you seem to think that I’m saying that there is something wrong with people wanting to better their lives because I never said that. You asked a very broad and general question and I gave the answer that as long as someone is happy and healthy with their life then it’s perfectly fine to have an average lifestyle.

Haha yeah. I mean, no shade and others for thinking so. Kids are great. I love my niece and nephew. But I also love being able to hand them back to my sister and walk away at the end of the day and go home to my quiet home. I like having disposable income. I like knowing that if shit hits the fan all I need to worry about is me, and the only one getting screwed is me.

Kids just aren't for some people, and I think that needs to be more OK with folks. There's more to life than subscribing to the standard plan and basically just being a debt slave and breeder. Not to sound too far out there and tinfoil-hat-wearing or anything but what's the point of having kids these days?

I'm not being facetious by the way, I'm sure people have some wonderful reasons for having kids, but what's the point specifically for me to have kids?

@mrbojangles25: There is no reason for you to have kids. There is also no reason for below or above average person to have kids.

God expelled Adam and Eve from Heaven, after the stupid Eve was enticed by the snake. Thats why you shouldnt have kids, because the purpose of the place that God expelled us to isnt supposed to have meaning or/and happiness. It is all because of eating one fucking apple!

Wants more acceptance with choice not to have kids, calls people who have kids just debt slaves and breeders.

yikes.

I didn't call anyone that explicitly, I said it as a way to reframe how the situation could be viewed. And I didn't mean it to be offensive or insulting. It's just a harsh truth; most Americans can barely afford emergency repairs on their homes, and the far-right and even moderate-right in this country want is to breed more; they literally think we are supposed to birth a bunch of white Christian holy warriors. We are debt slaves and breeders to them.

Sometimes you need to reframe certain views--if not in a negative light, then a cynical one--in order to see how it could be objectively better. It forces you to take a more aggressive stance in viewing the generally accepted things in life and ask yourself "Wait, why do we do things this way".

There's a narrative to life, at least in America, of a.) getting out of high school, b.) getting a good job, c.) getting a wife/husband, and d.) having kids. All that is fine and dandy if that's what you want in life, but it does sort of pressure people into breeding and acquiring debt, two things they might not want to do.

In either case, sorry if I offended you. Wasn't my intention. And I'm not an anti-natalist like those crazies on Reddit, though I do get some of their arguments lol.

@mrbojangles25: It does depend on where you are from too. In Russia, you need to think twice before you decide to remain average or give birth to someone.

My brother is average though he's been wanting to go back to school to go into a field that earns more than current job or switch to another job. He had an average looking wife well below average and two daughters who look like his wife and one looks like him. He has two sons and just goes to work and comes home every day. Same routine though he's basically stuck with it for the next 9 years until he's daughters are in high school.

I myself am average as well though do plan on not marrying or having children. Children don't really like me especially my nieces who are little since they look at me weird. They prefer their dad and mom and grandparents and uncle and aunt. My nephews I have to literally do everything wash and cook for them as they are teenagers. I truly believe not everyone in this world is meant to be married or have children. I just like my life being average with no problems with children. Sure it can be boring but some people enjoy an average lifestyle.

1. Convenience. We are comfort creatures. Change is hard. People don't like to do against the grain.

2. If everyone adjusts, then there is a new average. Most people will always be or close to average. You cannot change that.

@pillarrocks:

I hope one day from our jobs we will find a suitcase full of money that would put us way above the average.

I liked your answer the most! And have been waiting for someone to say that. Shellcase86, you seem to be the same age as me, I was born in 84. How do you escape the prison of being average?

It all comes down to the Individual and what they hope to get out of life.

I think the definition of "average" will come down to the individual too.

It comes down to your priorities as an Individual.

When you say "average lifestyle, average salary, average spouse"

All of this depends on that individual.

Like you could have a super model wife with a PHD in Neuro science and it's still possible she's a miserable person to be with.

Meanwhile someone else is married to a florist who's sweet as apple pie and a great mother and life partner.

You could make 60k and be living your best life.

You could be making 300k and be so stressed out from working and have no friends or social life due to constantly pursuing your money, you realize you don't have any meaningfully relationships so you off yourself on Christmas Eve.

It really can go so many ways. I try to better myself always, but I have priorities too, I wont sacrifice family and friends for my goals of a higher status for example.

Got to remember why life is enjoyable.

But then again that's different for everyone.

Some people at their happiest just having their name in a book/newspaper and a huge bank account.

Some people are happiest having 6 kids and a spouse that loves them.

Some people are never satisfied or happy.

Comes down to the individual.

Nothing wrong with being average. You have one life, so we might as well make the most of it. We are all going to die at some point.

If it was that easy to go above average, that above average becomes the new average. If I'm not totally clueless in economics, this is one of the causes of inflation: more people having more money so they start buying more stuff, which raises prices, making everything more expensive.

@sargentd: It is true that people above average have their own set of problems. But it doesnt mean that you should aspire to be anything below because of that.

Maybe Elon Musk has a problem of buying a fuel for his private jet, but it doesnt make him miserable.

Why not to die right now knowing that your life is not going to be anything above average?

Thats correct, the herd of sheep cant break out of their prison, but the few black sheep can.