Yeah, that totally didn't happen.
Okay, so my logic may be over some of your heads, but just sit tight and hear me out. We all know the government lies, so with that information I concluded that the government is lying about 9/11. And my discoveries have led me to more discoveries until my discoveries became shocking discoveries.
No, srsly
Be warned: what you are about to read may melt your sheeple brain like microwaved Jello and then rebuild it like microwaved jello that was put in the fridge overnight.
The World Trade Center NEVER. EXISTED.
Egad!
But don't worry, because I got it all figured out. The World Trade Center was merely a giant hologram. The holo-center was set up to make people think there was a World Trade Center, so that the government could wait for the right time to "knock it down."
Funny cereal box toy or deadly weapon of mass destruction? YOU DECIDE!
Once the government knocked down their holo-buildings with holo-planes populated by holo-people, they blamed Al Qaeda, who were innocently minding their business in Afghanistan, enjoying an apple-tini and playing games of chess.
Al Qaeda is actually a rap club created by Tupac Shakur on September 13, 1996
Oh, and they launched a missile at the Pentagon. 'Cuz it was cool.
I know, I know, your indoctrinated little minds are still fighting to accept the obvious, but that's okay, because I already know the answer to your question: Where did the government get this advanced holographic technology?
Well, I'll tell you.
Alvin and the Chipmunks.
Those 15"-tall bastards
Yes, the furry version of the Jonas Brothers sold the government the CGI technology necessary to develop the holographic weapons of doom. Their profits allowed them to finally achieve their dream of making a crappy live-action movie in which they have their own band. Undoubtedly they are sitting in their mansions right now, cackling in their tiny little voices while wringing their hangs together.
You may be wondering, now that you're convinced of the means, the "why" factor. What motive could the government possibly have to pull off such a nefarious plot? Well, I'll tell you:
McDonald's.
It's like Satan, only scarier
Everybody knows that McDonald's controls the American government. It's a fact. To back me up on it, I have a trained professional to help me out:
"Theokhoth is correct on everything." -- Dr. Obscuro.
But until after the War on Terror, McDonald's didn't have any establishments in the Middle East (again, also a fact). Now that they've spread their greasy, fattening monopoly to the rest of the world, nothing will stop them! Not even WENDY'S!
And that, my friends, concludes my lesson on why we should eat healthier to fight obesity and corporatism.
Any questions?
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