Uhhh Help! My girlfriend wants me to move in with her!!!

I been with my girlfriend for almost a year now and she is about to get her own place and wants me to move in with her in an apartment. My problem is that I'm perfectly happy living with my brothers in a nice house. She also wants me to be the new step dad to her son and also wants us to get married. This has been stressing me out badly. I wasn't expecting any of this until at least a couple more years down the road. We both are in our early 20s and I feel that its not the right time. I told her to slow this process down but she is very stubborn and want to move forward quickly in this relationship. She now wants me to put most of my money into this apartment fiasco.

I'm very stressed...

I been with my girlfriend for almost a year now and she is about to get her own place and wants me to move in with her in an apartment. My problem is that I'm perfectly happy living with my brothers in a nice house. She also wants me to be the new step dad to her son and also wants us to get married. This has been stressing me out badly. I wasn't expecting any of this until at least a couple more years down the road. We both are in our early 20s and I feel that its not the right time. I told her to slow this process down but she is very stubborn and want to move forward quickly in this relationship. She now wants me to put most of my money into this apartment fiasco.

I'm very stressed...

Adamantium4k2

Why are you so stressed? Can't you just sit down with her and discuss this like normal couples do without stressing out? If she is pushy and really wants you to do this and you don't, just end it.

I been with my girlfriend for almost a year now and she is about to get her own place and wants me to move in with her in an apartment. My problem is that I'm perfectly happy living with my brothers in a nice house. She also wants me to be the new step dad to her son and also wants us to get married. This has been stressing me out badly. I wasn't expecting any of this until at least a couple more years down the road. We both are in our early 20s and I feel that its not the right time. I told her to slow this process down but she is very stubborn and want to move forward quickly in this relationship. She now wants me to put most of my money into this apartment fiasco.

I'm very stressed...

Adamantium4k2

Oh women... If you really like this girl just talk to her. Try finding an alternative "route" like stay at her place sometimes (but not officially moving in with her). Explain that you like her too much to take such a sudden step and that you want to do everything when you feel right about it so as to secure the success of this relationship.

Also, you're gonna fall into a step dad trap as you will eventually be forced to pay for her child. She almost sounds like this former co-worker. She was like 18 when she had her child. Her boyfriend, who also worked with me, was often abused (verbally and mentally) - wanted him to do the same things. The sad thing is, he let it all happen. Took it all in and never stood up.

DON'T BECOME THAT GUY.

If you don't want to do it, don't do it. Simple as that.

Don't do it man. The lady is trying to talk you into something you are not ready for. You move in with her, you will regret it real soon but then it would be tough to move out.

She also wants me to be the new step dad to her son and also wants us to get married.

Adamantium4k2

Sounds like you just want regular access to her vag and she wants alot more more.

I've been there many times. There's nothing to do but break up I'm afraid. Give her the whole "I'm just not ready yet to settle down and you deserve someone better" spiel.

Give her the whole "I'm just not ready yet to settle down and you deserve someone better" spiel.

Boddicker

And if she understands, you may be able to work things out. If she can't understand, it's time to move on.

I been with my girlfriend for almost a year now and she is about to get her own place and wants me to move in with her in an apartment. My problem is that I'm perfectly happy living with my brothers in a nice house. She also wants me to be the new step dad to her son and also wants us to get married. This has been stressing me out badly. I wasn't expecting any of this until at least a couple more years down the road. We both are in our early 20s and I feel that its not the right time.I told her to slow this process down but she is very stubborn and want to move forward quickly in this relationship. She now wants me to put most of my money into this apartment fiasco.

I'm very stressed...

Adamantium4k2

no, if she wants to marry you or something, study shows that a couple living together before marrage are very likely to get divorce. relationships are doomed to fail if a couple live together.

[QUOTE="Adamantium4k2"]

I been with my girlfriend for almost a year now and she is about to get her own place and wants me to move in with her in an apartment. My problem is that I'm perfectly happy living with my brothers in a nice house. She also wants me to be the new step dad to her son and also wants us to get married. This has been stressing me out badly. I wasn't expecting any of this until at least a couple more years down the road. We both are in our early 20s and I feel that its not the right time.I told her to slow this process down but she is very stubborn and want to move forward quickly in this relationship. She now wants me to put most of my money into this apartment fiasco.

I'm very stressed...

General_X

[QUOTE="Adamantium4k2"]

She also wants me to be the new step dad to her son and also wants us to get married.

Aljosa23

That about covers it.

Tell mustang sally to slow her mustang down!

Why are you stressed. Tell her you don't want to move in yet. NEVER move in with a GF or BF. Until you're at least engaged, there's a good chance you're going to eventually breakup and then you have to move all your crap back out.

Cohabitation is actually the worst way to get to know another person, because it shortcuts the true development of lasting friendship. Those who live together before marriage often report an over-reliance on sexual expression and less emphasis on conversation and other ways of communication - ways that ultimately lead to a more fulfilling sexual union after marriage. Traditionally, the process of dating or "courtship" has led couples to a deeper appreciation of one another through conversation, shared ideals and dreams, and a mutual understanding of one another's values.Tell her:

"countless studies have shown that couples who live together before marriage have higher rates of divorce and a poorer quality of marital relationship than those who do not."

"One study, conducted by researchers at the University of Chicago and the University of Michigan, concluded that couples who cohabit tend to experience superficial communication and uncommitted decision-making once they are married".

"Studies consistently show that couples who live together score significantly lower in both marital communications and overall satisfaction. On the surface, a trial run at marriage may seem to make sense, allowing one to screen out less compatible mates. But it doesn't work out that way. Couples who live together before marriage actually have a 50% greater chance of divorce than those who don't. And about 60% of couples who cohabit break up without marrying. Living together before marriage is different from living together in marriage, because there is no binding commitment to support the relationship."

Maybe you should just print out this letter, from which the above quotes all come, and have her read it.

Cohabitation is actually the worst way to get to know another person, because it shortcuts the true development of lasting friendship. Those who live together before marriage often report an over-reliance on sexual expression and less emphasis on conversation and other ways of communication - ways that ultimately lead to a more fulfilling sexual union after marriage. Traditionally, the process of dating or "courtship" has led couples to a deeper appreciation of one another through conversation, shared ideals and dreams, and a mutual understanding of one another's values.Tell her:

"countless studies have shown that couples who live together before marriage have higher rates of divorce and a poorer quality of marital relationship than those who do not."

"One study, conducted by researchers at the University of Chicago and the University of Michigan, concluded that couples who cohabit tend to experience superficial communication and uncommitted decision-making once they are married".

"Studies consistently show that couples who live together score significantly lower in both marital communications and overall satisfaction. On the surface, a trial run at marriage may seem to make sense, allowing one to screen out less compatible mates. But it doesn't work out that way. Couples who live together before marriage actually have a 50% greater chance of divorce than those who don't. And about 60% of couples who cohabit break up without marrying. Living together before marriage is different from living together in marriage, because there is no binding commitment to support the relationship."

Maybe you should just print out this letter, from which the above quotes all come, and have her read it.

whipassmt

sweet, sounds legit. Words of wisdom right there in that letter. The purpose of marriage is to reflect God's glory and the love Christ has towards the church. keeping it real.. prevent divorce.

Cohabitation is actually the worst way to get to know another person, because it shortcuts the true development of lasting friendship. Those who live together before marriage often report an over-reliance on sexual expression and less emphasis on conversation and other ways of communication - ways that ultimately lead to a more fulfilling sexual union after marriage. Traditionally, the process of dating or "courtship" has led couples to a deeper appreciation of one another through conversation, shared ideals and dreams, and a mutual understanding of one another's values.Tell her:

"countless studies have shown that couples who live together before marriage have higher rates of divorce and a poorer quality of marital relationship than those who do not."

"One study, conducted by researchers at the University of Chicago and the University of Michigan, concluded that couples who cohabit tend to experience superficial communication and uncommitted decision-making once they are married".

"Studies consistently show that couples who live together score significantly lower in both marital communications and overall satisfaction. On the surface, a trial run at marriage may seem to make sense, allowing one to screen out less compatible mates. But it doesn't work out that way. Couples who live together before marriage actually have a 50% greater chance of divorce than those who don't. And about 60% of couples who cohabit break up without marrying. Living together before marriage is different from living together in marriage, because there is no binding commitment to support the relationship."

Maybe you should just print out this letter, from which the above quotes all come, and have her read it.

whipassmt

sweet, sounds legit. Words of wisdom right there in that letter. The purpose of marriage is to reflect God's glory and the love Christ has towards the church. keeping it real.. prevent divorce.

"a word to the not so wise about your little girlfriend ... broom her fast" where "broom" apparently means to dump or break up with.

I am not advising you to follow Stormin' Norman's (Osborn, not Schwarzkopf) advice. However you must consider the possibility, that, if your girlfriend is overly insistent into pushing you to move in with her against your will and better judgment, you may have to cut off this relationship.

[QUOTE="whipassmt"]

Cohabitation is actually the worst way to get to know another person, because it shortcuts the true development of lasting friendship. Those who live together before marriage often report an over-reliance on sexual expression and less emphasis on conversation and other ways of communication - ways that ultimately lead to a more fulfilling sexual union after marriage. Traditionally, the process of dating or "courtship" has led couples to a deeper appreciation of one another through conversation, shared ideals and dreams, and a mutual understanding of one another's values.Tell her:

"countless studies have shown that couples who live together before marriage have higher rates of divorce and a poorer quality of marital relationship than those who do not."

"One study, conducted by researchers at the University of Chicago and the University of Michigan, concluded that couples who cohabit tend to experience superficial communication and uncommitted decision-making once they are married".

"Studies consistently show that couples who live together score significantly lower in both marital communications and overall satisfaction. On the surface, a trial run at marriage may seem to make sense, allowing one to screen out less compatible mates. But it doesn't work out that way. Couples who live together before marriage actually have a 50% greater chance of divorce than those who don't. And about 60% of couples who cohabit break up without marrying. Living together before marriage is different from living together in marriage, because there is no binding commitment to support the relationship."

Maybe you should just print out this letter, from which the above quotes all come, and have her read it.

GameGuy642003

sweet, sounds legit. Words of wisdom right there in that letter. The purpose of marriage is to reflect God's glory and the love Christ has towards the church. keeping it real.. prevent divorce.

Anyways, it seems that so far OT is of one accord that the TC should not move in with his girlfriend.

She sounds like she's getitng you "prepped" for an engagement.

If you do move in, expect to be pesterd by her and her friends/family for a ring in the near-future.

[QUOTE="Aljosa23"]

[QUOTE="Adamantium4k2"]

She also wants me to be the new step dad to her son and also wants us to get married.

Slow_Show

That about covers it.

Yep. I'd rather be with someone with no skeletons in the closet. Also don't know how old you are but if you're young, I wouldn't do it.

Why are you stressed. Tell her you don't want to move in yet. NEVER move in with a GF or BF. Until you're at least engaged, there's a good chance you're going to eventually breakup and then you have to move all your crap back out.

Pirate700

I been with my girlfriend for almost a year now and she is about to get her own place and wants me to move in with her in an apartment. My problem is that I'm perfectly happy living with my brothers in a nice house. She also wants me to be the new step dad to her son and also wants us to get married. This has been stressing me out badly. I wasn't expecting any of this until at least a couple more years down the road. We both are in our early 20s and I feel that its not the right time. I told her to slow this process down but she is very stubborn and want to move forward quickly in this relationship. She now wants me to put most of my money into this apartment fiasco.

I'm very stressed...

Adamantium4k2

[QUOTE="Pirate700"]

Why are you stressed. Tell her you don't want to move in yet. NEVER move in with a GF or BF. Until you're at least engaged, there's a good chance you're going to eventually breakup and then you have to move all your crap back out.

comp_atkins

[QUOTE="comp_atkins"][QUOTE="Pirate700"]

Why are you stressed. Tell her you don't want to move in yet. NEVER move in with a GF or BF. Until you're at least engaged, there's a good chance you're going to eventually breakup and then you have to move all your crap back out.

whipassmt

my chick and i bought a place together and lived there for 3 years before we even got engaged.. it can work :P comp_atkins

Tell her to move in with your brosAussieePet

Don't move in with her. She moves in with you. Because if you live in her apartment. You piss her off. She kicks you out. Instead you can get pissed off and kick her out :D

I been with my girlfriend for almost a year now and she is about to get her own place and wants me to move in with her in an apartment. My problem is that I'm perfectly happy living with my brothers in a nice house. She also wants me to be the new step dad to her son and also wants us to get married. This has been stressing me out badly. I wasn't expecting any of this until at least a couple more years down the road. We both are in our early 20s and I feel that its not the right time. I told her to slow this process down but she is very stubborn and want to move forward quickly in this relationship. She now wants me to put most of my money into this apartment fiasco.

I'm very stressed...

Adamantium4k2

Don't move in with her. She moves in with you. Because if you live in her apartment. You piss her off. She kicks you out. Instead you can get pissed off and kick her out :D

austi722

[QUOTE="austi722"]

Don't move in with her. She moves in with you. Because if you live in her apartment. You piss her off. She kicks you out. Instead you can get pissed off and kick her out :D

guynamedbilly

[QUOTE="GameGuy642003"]

[QUOTE="whipassmt"]

Cohabitation is actually the worst way to get to know another person, because it shortcuts the true development of lasting friendship. Those who live together before marriage often report an over-reliance on sexual expression and less emphasis on conversation and other ways of communication - ways that ultimately lead to a more fulfilling sexual union after marriage. Traditionally, the process of dating or "courtship" has led couples to a deeper appreciation of one another through conversation, shared ideals and dreams, and a mutual understanding of one another's values.Tell her:

"countless studies have shown that couples who live together before marriage have higher rates of divorce and a poorer quality of marital relationship than those who do not."

"One study, conducted by researchers at the University of Chicago and the University of Michigan, concluded that couples who cohabit tend to experience superficial communication and uncommitted decision-making once they are married".

"Studies consistently show that couples who live together score significantly lower in both marital communications and overall satisfaction. On the surface, a trial run at marriage may seem to make sense, allowing one to screen out less compatible mates. But it doesn't work out that way. Couples who live together before marriage actually have a 50% greater chance of divorce than those who don't. And about 60% of couples who cohabit break up without marrying. Living together before marriage is different from living together in marriage, because there is no binding commitment to support the relationship."

Maybe you should just print out this letter, from which the above quotes all come, and have her read it.

whipassmt

sweet, sounds legit. Words of wisdom right there in that letter. The purpose of marriage is to reflect God's glory and the love Christ has towards the church. keeping it real.. prevent divorce.

Anyways, it seems that so far OT is of one accord that the TC should not move in with his girlfriend.

Why would people want kids when they're not even 20 years old? It blows my mind.

And thats why its better not to have a GF.