On a lighter note, Funny things your parents have said

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methree15

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#1 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts

I've got a few good ones.

My mother once told my brother that he had man-boobs. Yes, man-boobs.

This was after the time my brother, my father and I where riding to get some lunch when we discovered that my bro didn't know how to whistle. My dad sad that "this is a sad day". Me and my bro where both 18 at the time.

So your turn.

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Happy_Kat777

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#2 Happy_Kat777
Member since 2006 • 459 Posts

I'm sitting on a couch, my parents and I are watching a movie. I start hitting my ass for some reason :s

Anyway, my mom turns to me "If you wanna touch yourself, go to your room!"

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DivergeUnify

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#3 DivergeUnify
Member since 2007 • 15150 Posts
"that dog is murdering birds!"
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methree15

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#4 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts

I'm sitting on a couch, my parents and I are watching a movie. I start hitting my ass for some reason :s

Anyway, my mom turns to me "If you wanna touch yourself, go to your room!"

Happy_Kat777

Lol.

No scratching that itch for you.

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methree15

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#5 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts

"that dog is murdering birds!"DivergeUnify

nice. did one of them just say this out of blue. I can imagine just sitting there, minding my own business when all the sudden...."MY GOD. THAT DOG IS MURDERING BIRDS!"

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bigfatcrap

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#6 bigfatcrap
Member since 2006 • 1919 Posts

I showed my mom my new wallpaper.(It had a Metroid on it) "You like my new wallpaper?" I ask her "It's a Metroid. It sucks the life out of you."

Mom: "It's called a husband."

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Happy_Kat777

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#7 Happy_Kat777
Member since 2006 • 459 Posts
[QUOTE="Happy_Kat777"]

I'm sitting on a couch, my parents and I are watching a movie. I start hitting my ass for some reason :s

Anyway, my mom turns to me "If you wanna touch yourself, go to your room!"

methree15

Lol.

No scratching that itch for you.

Needless to say, I got up and left ;)

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deactivated-5cf0a2e13dbde

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#8 deactivated-5cf0a2e13dbde
Member since 2005 • 12935 Posts
My mom is Latvian, and her parents had this saying "bloody dogs dont cry" Me and my brother never had any idea what the hell that meant. We always laughed at it, and she got more pissed.
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DivergeUnify

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#9 DivergeUnify
Member since 2007 • 15150 Posts

[QUOTE="DivergeUnify"]"that dog is murdering birds!"methree15

nice. did one of them just say this out of blue. I can imagine just sitting there, minding my own business when all the sudden...."MY GOD. THAT DOG IS MURDERING BIRDS!"

:lol: the way you said that was hilarious. no i was in my dad's truck and a loose dog was running around killing some birds and it stopped a bunch of traffic.
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SunofVich

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#10 SunofVich
Member since 2004 • 4665 Posts

Got caught loking up pr0n. My mom told my dad. He yells at me to get into the living room and then yells:

"DAMNIT SON IF YOU ARE LOOKING UP PORN I WANNA KNOW THE WEB ADDRESS!!"

My mom got angry at him.

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Coffee_Blade

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#11 Coffee_Blade
Member since 2008 • 707 Posts

"Your old enough to hump. Start acting your age." lol my dad said that to me

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methree15

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#12 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts

I showed my mom my new wallpaper.(It had a Metroid on it) "You like my new wallpaper?" I ask her "It's a Metroid. It sucks the life out of you."

Mom: "It's called a husband."

bigfatcrap

Ouch.
My mom is Latvian, and her parents had this saying "bloody dogs dont cry" Me and my brother never had any idea what the hell that meant. We always laughed at it, and she got more pissed.hillelslovak
Lol. What is it with parents and dogs? Bloody dogs don't cry? Wow. All my dad says is 'you slay me' and now I say it too.

Please, stop the cycle, don't start saying bloody dog's don't cry. It will haunt you for the rest of your life.

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TheLordRagnarok

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#13 TheLordRagnarok
Member since 2007 • 1076 Posts

I showed my mom my new wallpaper.(It had a Metroid on it) "You like my new wallpaper?" I ask her "It's a Metroid. It sucks the life out of you."

Mom: "It's called a husband."

bigfatcrap

Pwned. So badly.

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methree15

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#14 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts

Got caught loking up pr0n. My mom told my dad. He yells at me to get into the living room and then yells:

"DAMNIT SON IF YOU ARE LOOKING UP PORN I WANNA KNOW THE WEB ADDRESS!!"

My mom got angry at him.

SunofVich
So. Much. Win.

"Your old enough to hump. Start acting your age." lol my dad said that to me

Coffee_Blade

Wow, we are starting to get some theme's going here... lol. First dogs now this...

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ps3wizard45

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#15 ps3wizard45
Member since 2007 • 12907 Posts

i was looking up re4 vids on youtube and my mom checked history

ARE YOU DOING REEFER ! ?!? GET IT re-4 she thought it was slang or sumthin

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methree15

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#16 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts

i was looking up re4 vids on youtube and my mom checked history

ARE YOU DOING REEFER ! ?!? GET IT re-4 she thought it was slang or sumthin

ps3wizard45

Hah. You've got some supspcious parents there.

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Kikouken

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#17 Kikouken
Member since 2006 • 15913 Posts

I was playing FFX2 a few years back and there was a puzzle where you had to message La'blanc (If you played it, you'd know what I'm talking about) so she was moaning and such. My dad came in and looked at the tv and said "I didn't know you were interested in that" *walks out*

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DivergeUnify

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#18 DivergeUnify
Member since 2007 • 15150 Posts

I was playing FFX2 a few years back and there was a puzzle where you had to message La'blanc (If you played it, you'd know what I'm talking about) so she was moaning and such. My dad came in and looked at the tv and said "I didn't know you were interested in that" *walks out*

Kikouken
:lol: nice
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1stCommando

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#19 1stCommando
Member since 2003 • 4969 Posts
More awkward than funny, but it's funnier if I type it exactly the way he said it. "Whin I was yer age, I wint 'round floppin my **** at enythang that had breasts 'nd a hole fer me to stick it in"
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methree15

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#20 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts

I was playing FFX2 a few years back and there was a puzzle where you had to message La'blanc (If you played it, you'd know what I'm talking about) so she was moaning and such. My dad came in and looked at the tv and said "I didn't know you were interested in that" *walks out*

Kikouken
I like how he just walks away like its nothing.
More awkward than funny, but it's funnier if I type it exactly the way he said it. "Whin I was yer age, I wint 'round floppin my **** at enythang that had breasts 'nd a hole fer me to stick it in"1stCommando
Nice. Wow, what is it with dads? Maybe they do understand us. I like how well the accent is translated in words. Defenanity funny.
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chrisrooR

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#21 chrisrooR
Member since 2007 • 9027 Posts
I walked in on my dad watching porn late at night. He turned to me and said "wait a minute...this isn't the news!" in a sarcastic tone :P. I went downstairs and he didn't change the channel through the entire thing. You'd think it would be akward...but, surprisingly, not really.
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methree15

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#22 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts

I walked in on my dad watching porn late at night. He turned to me and said "wait a minute...this isn't the news!" in a sarcastic tone :P. I went downstairs and he didn't change the channel through the entire thing. You'd think it would be akward...but, surprisingly, not really.
chrisrooR

Lol. I like how he makes a joke about it then doesn't even flinch and keeps watching. Way to go.

Wow, dads understand porn. Awesome.

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Jenovawitness

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#23 Jenovawitness
Member since 2005 • 2373 Posts

"You're a disprespectful **** who will drive me to the grave."

heh..... fun times.

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methree15

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#24 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts

"You're a disprespectful **** who will drive me to the grave."

heh..... fun times.

Jenovawitness

uhhh, ouch. I hope you where driving at the time?

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LoG-Sacrament

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#25 LoG-Sacrament
Member since 2006 • 20397 Posts
me and my mom were arguing and she called me a son of a ****(word for female dog). self owned.
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chrisrooR

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#26 chrisrooR
Member since 2007 • 9027 Posts

[QUOTE="chrisrooR"]I walked in on my dad watching porn late at night. He turned to me and said "wait a minute...this isn't the news!" in a sarcastic tone :P. I went downstairs and he didn't change the channel through the entire thing. You'd think it would be akward...but, surprisingly, not really.
methree15

Lol. I like how he makes a joke about it then doesn't even flinch and keeps watching. Way to go.

Wow, dads understand porn. Awesome.

I should rephrase that whole thing.

I came upstairs, looking for a late night snack. Low and behold i see a light coming from upstairs. When i get to the top of the stairs i realize what i'm seeing; two girls kissing on the t.v. screen. I walk into the room and my dad is just chilling there. So i walk over to the fridge and get out a pop and some chips, all the while my dad is watching t.v. So i look over at him as i'm going downstairs (it's been like 10 minutes too) and he just says "hey....this isn't the news!"

So long story short, he acknowledged that i was there, making food, but he really didn't care.

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methree15

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#27 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts

me and my mom were arguing and she called me a son of a ****(word for female dog). self owned.LoG-Sacrament

I'd the same thing once. Me and my brother were doing battle with our words when I called him an s.o.b. Then I saw my mom was there.

[QUOTE="methree15"]

[QUOTE="chrisrooR"]I walked in on my dad watching porn late at night. He turned to me and said "wait a minute...this isn't the news!" in a sarcastic tone :P. I went downstairs and he didn't change the channel through the entire thing. You'd think it would be akward...but, surprisingly, not really.
chrisrooR

Lol. I like how he makes a joke about it then doesn't even flinch and keeps watching. Way to go.

Wow, dads understand porn. Awesome.

I should rephrase that whole thing.

I came upstairs, looking for a late night snack. Low and behold i see a light coming from upstairs. When i get to the top of the stairs i realize what i'm seeing; two girls kissing on the t.v. screen. I walk into the room and my dad is just chilling there. So i walk over to the fridge and get out a pop and some chips, all the while my dad is watching t.v. So i look over at him as i'm going downstairs (it's been like 10 minutes too) and he just says "hey....this isn't the news!"

So long story short, he acknowledged that i was there, making food, but he really didn't care.

Still he doesn't try to cover it up, which is funny to me.

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PS2_ROCKS

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#28 PS2_ROCKS
Member since 2003 • 4679 Posts
When I was a wee lad my dad would always sarcastically say "get to bed skinhead" if I was up past my bedtime. I laughed at it, but it took me a few years before I figured out what a skinhead was.
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Poedon

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#29 Poedon
Member since 2002 • 2594 Posts
Whenever we had my dad speechless after a comeback he'd say "your ass sucks buttermilk" He's not from another country or anything. We still dont' know wtf it means :P
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SmashBrosLegend

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#30 SmashBrosLegend
Member since 2006 • 11344 Posts
My dad: "I don't care if you want to have sex in your room, but for god's sake, don't have "loud sex". It'll wake up your mother, and I'll raise hell if I have to walk up the stairs."
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methree15

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#31 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts

When I was a wee lad my dad would always sarcastically say "get to bed skinhead" if I was up past my bedtime. I laughed at it, but it took me a few years before I figured out what a skinhead was.PS2_ROCKS

Actually not all skinheads are nazi's. Only some. Had one in my class who was definatly not a nazi and talked about the other skinhead movement. Oh, and he was black too. But still funny.


Whenever we had my dad speechless after a comeback he'd say "your ass sucks buttermilk" He's not from another country or anything. We still dont' know wtf it means :PPoedon
what wat? LOL. I think he just pulled that out his ass one time and then kept using it.

My dad: "I don't care if you want to have sex in your room, but for god's sake, don't have "loud sex". It'll wake up your mother, and I'll raise hell if I have to walk up the stairs."SmashBrosLegend

Nice. This reminds me of the one time that my friend a a girl over at his house and after he left his parents asked him if my friend wanted wheel locks put on his bed.

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rohver

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#32 rohver
Member since 2005 • 11848 Posts

i was looking up re4 vids on youtube and my mom checked history

ARE YOU DOING REEFER ! ?!? GET IT re-4 she thought it was slang or sumthin

ps3wizard45

Your mom checks history ? :shock:

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methree15

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#33 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts
[QUOTE="ps3wizard45"]

i was looking up re4 vids on youtube and my mom checked history

ARE YOU DOING REEFER ! ?!? GET IT re-4 she thought it was slang or sumthin

rohver

Your mom checks history ? :shock:

My friend has his mom check history until was 19! Thats when he brought his own laptop.

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VacantPsalm

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#34 VacantPsalm
Member since 2008 • 3600 Posts
The only thing I can think of is, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but the doctor was drunk when he circumcised you. I was sitting there and the nurse walks in and says, 'man I wanted to just reach down and cut that doctor's penis off. He had alcohol on his breath. That poor baby. you should sue that doctor.'" Yep, I laughed my ass off when my mom told me that.:lol:
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bloodling

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#35 bloodling
Member since 2006 • 5822 Posts

I'm sitting on a couch, my parents and I are watching a movie. I start hitting my ass for some reason :s

Anyway, my mom turns to me "If you wanna touch yourself, go to your room!"

Happy_Kat777

wow... I can't imagine a parent saying that. Not that it's bad or anything.

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methree15

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#36 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts

The only thing I can think of is, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but the doctor was drunk when he circumcised you. I was sitting there and the nurse walks in and says, 'man I wanted to just reach down and cut that doctor's penis off. He had alcohol on his breath. That poor baby. you should sue that doctor.'" Yep, I laughed my ass off when my mom told me that.:lol:VacantPsalm

Wow. Everything turned out ok right? I mean with, your, you know.... lol.

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bloodling

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#37 bloodling
Member since 2006 • 5822 Posts

[QUOTE="VacantPsalm"]The only thing I can think of is, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but the doctor was drunk when he circumcised you. I was sitting there and the nurse walks in and says, 'man I wanted to just reach down and cut that doctor's penis off. He had alcohol on his breath. That poor baby. you should sue that doctor.'" Yep, I laughed my ass off when my mom told me that.:lol:methree15

Wow. Everything turned out ok right? I mean with, your, you know.... lol.

I don't think it's possible to screw that up, even when you're drunk...

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atoria56

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#38 atoria56
Member since 2004 • 240 Posts
My mom use to use scary but hilarious threats when she is about to whoop me and my bro. One time she whooped me with this little skinny belt which did not hurt at all so she noticed that a I was faking my cries so she said this "O you want to try and fake a cry that means you really want to get into your roll I can help you with that" Then she got a bigger belt lol. I love my mom
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pridetwo

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#39 pridetwo
Member since 2006 • 1226 Posts

i think the "your ass sucks buttermilk" comment is meant to call you gay think about it. what color is buttermilk? what else is like that color? what else would an ass "suck"?

anyways, my own story.

back when me and my first, (VERY FIRST) gf were dating, we wanted to go up to the local hills and go camping because she had never been camping before and i'm pretty big on hiking and backpacking. so when i mentioned it to my mom, she abruptly shouted, "NO YOU CAN'T HAVE SEX"

i was a little confused at first then i got offended that my mom would think i would have sex at 15 with a girl i had only been dating for two weeks.

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VacantPsalm

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#40 VacantPsalm
Member since 2008 • 3600 Posts

[QUOTE="VacantPsalm"]The only thing I can think of is, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but the doctor was drunk when he circumcised you. I was sitting there and the nurse walks in and says, 'man I wanted to just reach down and cut that doctor's penis off. He had alcohol on his breath. That poor baby. you should sue that doctor.'" Yep, I laughed my ass off when my mom told me that.:lol:methree15

Wow. Everything turned out ok right? I mean with, your, you know.... lol.

No, he chopped it clean off and they sewed it back on upside down. :P (j/k) Yea, it's all good. Apparently it was just a tad close and not the straightest cut. (And don't ask me what that looks like. I mean what would I compare it to?:?) PS: Even if there was something up, it would probably be worth it for that story.:lol:
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methree15

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#41 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts
[QUOTE="methree15"]

[QUOTE="VacantPsalm"]The only thing I can think of is, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but the doctor was drunk when he circumcised you. I was sitting there and the nurse walks in and says, 'man I wanted to just reach down and cut that doctor's penis off. He had alcohol on his breath. That poor baby. you should sue that doctor.'" Yep, I laughed my ass off when my mom told me that.:lol:VacantPsalm

Wow. Everything turned out ok right? I mean with, your, you know.... lol.

No, he chopped it clean off and they sewed it back on upside down. :P (j/k) Yea, it's all good. Apparently it was just a tad close and not the straightest cut. (And don't ask me what that looks like. I mean what would I compare it to?:?) PS: Even if there was something up, it would probably be worth it for that story.:lol:

I'm sure it would make a great story.

Well you know, every young man is curious at least one time in their life, its nothing to be ashamed of... One day when your in the locker room at school just kinda......

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bloodling

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#42 bloodling
Member since 2006 • 5822 Posts
[QUOTE="VacantPsalm"][QUOTE="methree15"]

[QUOTE="VacantPsalm"]The only thing I can think of is, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but the doctor was drunk when he circumcised you. I was sitting there and the nurse walks in and says, 'man I wanted to just reach down and cut that doctor's penis off. He had alcohol on his breath. That poor baby. you should sue that doctor.'" Yep, I laughed my ass off when my mom told me that.:lol:methree15

Wow. Everything turned out ok right? I mean with, your, you know.... lol.

No, he chopped it clean off and they sewed it back on upside down. :P (j/k) Yea, it's all good. Apparently it was just a tad close and not the straightest cut. (And don't ask me what that looks like. I mean what would I compare it to?:?) PS: Even if there was something up, it would probably be worth it for that story.:lol:

I'm sure it would make a great story.

Well you know, every young man is curious at least one time in their life, its nothing to be ashamed of... One day when your in the locker room at school just kinda......

Uhh... Not me!!

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VacantPsalm

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#43 VacantPsalm
Member since 2008 • 3600 Posts

I'm sure it would make a great story.

Well you know, every young man is curious at least one time in their life, its nothing to be ashamed of... One day when your in the locker room at school just kinda......

methree15
Home schooled. Never had to be naked around a bunch of naked guys. (Although I can see how curiosity might get the better of you. Or reflexes more likely. Can you see a naked person and not look?) And btw, have I mentioned that I love my parents?
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methree15

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#44 methree15
Member since 2008 • 620 Posts
[QUOTE="methree15"]

I'm sure it would make a great story.

Well you know, every young man is curious at least one time in their life, its nothing to be ashamed of... One day when your in the locker room at school just kinda......

VacantPsalm

Home schooled. Never had to be naked around a bunch of naked guys. (Although I can see how curiosity might get the better of you. Or reflexes more likely. Can you see a naked person and not look?) And btw, have I mentioned that I love my parents?

Your parents do sound funny.

As to the public nekiddness situation, oh yes, you can see a naked person and not look. Oh yes. Belive me.

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kruesader

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#45 kruesader
Member since 2006 • 6443 Posts
To be honest, this just seems like a spam thread for TC..commenting on every single post.
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gobo212

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#46 gobo212
Member since 2003 • 6277 Posts

To be honest, this just seems like a spam thread for TC..commenting on every single post.kruesader

I hate it when TCs do that.

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tarunramesh

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#47 tarunramesh
Member since 2005 • 1188 Posts

[QUOTE="kruesader"]To be honest, this just seems like a spam thread for TC..commenting on every single post.gobo212

I hate it when TCs do that.

i agree with you guys, but the tc might just be trying to make some friends so no harm.

Well i cant be stuffed going into details but my dad just says sometimes something which goes like this " the way you want to live life, you better hope bill gates has a daughter"

lol

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freshgman

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#48 freshgman
Member since 2005 • 12241 Posts

Got caught loking up pr0n. My mom told my dad. He yells at me to get into the living room and then yells:

"DAMNIT SON IF YOU ARE LOOKING UP PORN I WANNA KNOW THE WEB ADDRESS!!"

My mom got angry at him.

SunofVich
Your dad is cool
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kruesader

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#49 kruesader
Member since 2006 • 6443 Posts
[QUOTE="gobo212"]

[QUOTE="kruesader"]To be honest, this just seems like a spam thread for TC..commenting on every single post.tarunramesh

I hate it when TCs do that.

i agree with you guys, but the tc might just be trying to make some friends so no harm.

Well i cant be stuffed going into details but my dad just says sometimes something which goes like this " the way you want to live life, you better hope bill gates has a daughter"

lol

True, and haha, your dad actually got a pretty good ROFL outta me then.

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GEARS_0f_war983

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#50 GEARS_0f_war983
Member since 2007 • 410 Posts
my dad once said to my 14 year old bro "I need you to do a big-boy job for me" and my bro says "dude Im 14, stop sayin that" and dad's says "wat the **** i thought you were ryan (3 year old bro)." lol, theres others but it would take too long for me to say them all