@bluedeathking said:
@blaznwiipspman1: Getting married is a big commitment. As a person who a millennial, Ive seen too many of my peers get married young (20s(I see this age group as still discovering themselves and shouldnt get married)) and have kids. problems is usually come down to cheating due to someone getting bored of their other while sometime is can be just a abusive relationship because they fell in love with the person looks or gangster personality. most people should wait till their 30s and feel like settling down. Finding someone who you like and willing to spend the rest of your life can be hard do to young people dont 100% know how to control their emotions yet. Anyone under 25 hasnt experience the hardship of life yet in my opinion.... then there people like me who hate everyone and has huge trust issues and probably be okay with not being married... but one income in modern society suck sooo bad and its a drain.
Yeah, I'm sure that may be true in the vast majority of cases. In my case I had already been through boot camp, SOI, some college, several relationships including flings, two combat deployments, watched friends die, got injured, travelled a lot of the world (in my opinion), and was tired of playing games.
To this day I'm still not sure how I feel about god and all that (don't really want to get into it.. it's complicated.. lol), but at the end of my first deployment I broke down after learning that my request to get extended (didn't realize at the time I was suffering from PTSD and didn't know how to detach from war and violence) was denied due to my entire division being over deployed and they needed to straighten out the books and numbers for organizations like Mothers of America. I found myself in a cabin and fell to my knees and straight up asked god to let me meet someone when I got home for leave (I was an absolute train wreck at the time mentally), someone who didn't want to play games, and someone who I could be happy with. That's the one and only true thing I've ever asked a "higher power" for and on my 29th day out of 30 days of leave I met my wife. Turns out we went to the same high school and although I didn't know her then some of my friends were friends of hers.
Take that for whatever it is.. fate, destiny, an answered prayer, right place right time.. who knows?
We were both young and especially her still being 18, but everything just felt so right. Despite what everyone said including a lot of our friends, family, parents, etc. She made me (and still does) so happy and put me in a better place. She told me she felt like she knew me her entire life the first night we met (I know that probably sounds cheesy, but somehow it's exactly what I needed and wanted to hear.. I was lost and I felt as though through her I knew who I was). It was a lot of work on both ends, but we made it through even with thousands of miles were between us at times.
Early in our marriage things were kind of rocky since she was younger and wanted to go out partying and the whole 9 yards, but my anxiety and injuries didn't really allow me to have a good time so I stayed home a lot. However, that only lasted the first couple years and we both did a LOT of growing during that time. She had our two sons 11 months apart and they are now 14 and 15 years old.
Through everything we have been through (and trust me it's a lot...) we have managed to not only succeed with our marriage, but are happier than ever these days. Money isn't tight (like it once was and that is a very humbling experience which is why I buy a lot of my friends games so that we can play together since I know what it's like to be broke and feel like the tires are spinning in a puddle of mud), our boys are smart, funny, polite, and I don't worry about their futures at all, we have great friends and family, and things are looking up in many ways, Personally I can hardly wait to see where things take us, It's been a wild ride, but she's my best friend and I know we will always be there for each other like we have through these 18 years we've been a couple.
We often talk about taking a honeymoon after the boys move out, but we want them to remain a large part of our lives. Both her family and my family are very close and that isn't very common these days either. We have a lot of traditions and go big on holidays and family vacations and fun since you only get one chance on this world for true happiness.
If I've learned one thing throughout my life it's that life is too short to be angry, disgruntled, or always looking for a fight. I've changed a lot since my fighting days, but these days I'm happy being a tubby (working on that.. down nearly 90 lbs), happy, house dad.. lol. I have my family, my games and hobbies, my grill, and some money in the bank. Life is good.
I know it may seem cliche, but when I hear all the hardships people go through with their marriages I am glad that I was so lucky to find a woman that is so strong and perfect for me. We have both had plenty of life experiences even if most of them were taking knocks while we were together we have both grown immensely as a couple and as individual people. These days I'm retired at 100% and looking into future opportunities and she is the office lead for a large Midwest corporate office. We are still working out some credit issues from problems that haunt us from many years back, but these days we have absolutely no debt other than some medical and we are living well beneath our means. We get closer each day to moving into our dream house and often talk about our future together. In my opinion I think perhaps we are an exception. I'm not oblivious to that though and I know I am an extremely lucky man to meet the woman of my dreams who not only keeps me grounded and is there for me no matter what.
Sorry for the book, I just feel that not everything in life is textbook. It's one of the mantras I live by and it seems to be the story of my life.
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