I feel like I'm slowly going insane.

I feel like i'm slowly going crazy. for the past 5 years i have been suffering from the following things. I don't mean to be emo but I watned somebody elses opinion on Gamespot the great source of knowledge and advice. so basicilly iits been like this for me.

1.I always feel like people are laughing at me or talking behind my back. I feel like people are always watching me when I'm in public. I'm afraid to make movements or even talk because of what people could potentially think.

2.I'm constantly fantasizing about scenario's involving power suicide murder or impressing others or having things I want. Literally hours will be spent on this.

3.I have severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and intrusive and troubling thoughts that cause me great anxiety.I wash my hands at least 20 times a day. I have to move the furniture in my room because it "doesn't look right"

4.Sometimes I worry that people are reading my mind or can hear my thoughts. I don't really think they are but I still worry just in case. Sometimes I feel like people are following me or are going to hurt me. for example "what if that car tried to run me over or the passenger pulled out a gun!?" i know its not likely or rational but the fear is always there.

5.I get so nervous even when I'm standing in a line and I don't feel comfortable around people. Sometimes I go on bathroom breaks just to get out of crowded rooms.

6.I don't respond to criticism well at all and I'm afraid that people will judge me or say things about me and the way I look. I hate sittting in the front and I always take the back seat of the classroom.

7.I can be happy one minute then talk to my friends and they can say something not bad at all and then I'll get depressed for the rest of the day except its not like sadness but more like a simmering anger and jealousy. I get really pissed off that I don't have the life that they do or the social networks. They can make an entirely benign comment and it can ruin my day but I don't let it show. I know they don't mean anything and its all in my head but the minute I leave my friends house i go from really happy and mellow to depressed.

8.I feel depressed but in a numb way not a sad way.

I don't know its been this way for almost 5 years. I can't take it anymore. What the hell is wrong with me?

You should se someone, haven't you thought about i?

Or maybe develop a more social lifestyle (don't mean to judge you, just thinking this might help)

What the hell is wrong with me?

peppersfan2

I have no idea

No offense dude, but you sound like you shouldn't even be allowed in public. Like you're padded room crazy. :|Pirate700

Its not like I've ever been arrested or anything. My freinds think I'm happy. People don't see whats going on underneth. I just act cool and collected no matter how I feel.

I don't think you're insane, but you definitely sound like you have a mental disorder, like paranoia or something. Go see a psychiatrist, they'll help you.Gamer4Iife

4.Sometimes I worry that people are reading my mind or can hear my thoughts. I don't really think they are but I still worry just in case.

peppersfan2

I don't know its been this way for almost 5 years. I can't take it anymore. What the hell is wrong with me?

peppersfan2

You shouldn't have to suffer like that. You should see a psychiatrist for an evalulation. The symptoms you describe seem to be those of schizoaffective disorder. You owe it to yourself to get some help.

1. You are anxious about something you have done, find it and fix it. 2. You are anxious about something you have done, find it and fix it. 3. Chill out you can not control everything, live in the present. 4. Confess your secrets, don't hold them in, be yourself (as they say) 5. You're worried about what people think of you, don't, you shouldn't care what people think because they can only do that, think. 6. Find something you like doing, a hobby or go to the gym (v useful) 7. You are lacking structure in your life, doing something everyday like going to the gym balances out your day. Nobody is sunshine all day long you just have to live for the moment. 8. Most importantly, shut up there's nothing wrong with you it's just a phase.clembo1990

No its not just a phase. Its not just a matter of "growing up and being more confident" i feel paralyzed and unable to move Its not just anxiety but fear. I can't just shrug it off.

There is a difference between normal adolecent turmoil and what I'm feeling.

I keep busy and I go to college full time.

[QUOTE="Gamer4Iife"]I don't think you're insane, but you definitely sound like you have a mental disorder, like paranoia or something. Go see a psychiatrist, they'll help you.clembo1990

[QUOTE="peppersfan2"]

I don't know its been this way for almost 5 years. I can't take it anymore. What the hell is wrong with me?

entropyecho

You shouldn't have to suffer like that. You should see a psychiatrist for an evalulation. The symptoms you describe seem to be those of schizoaffective disorder. You owe it to yourself to get some help.

[QUOTE="clembo1990"][QUOTE="Gamer4Iife"]I don't think you're insane, but you definitely sound like you have a mental disorder, like paranoia or something. Go see a psychiatrist, they'll help you.Gamer4Iife

Sounds like you just might be in a state of Disturbia. Bom bom bee dum bom bom bee dum dum.elblanquito_81

I am seeing a therapist right now. I haven't really told her any of this stuff. From the little that I have told her about my OCD she wants to put me on anti anxiety medication and in a few weeks I'm going to see a new doctor who is better trained.

When I see her I'm going to be more honest and tell her whats really going on. All of it. I can't keep this stuff up any longer.

I'm going to school for Psychology right now, and just as a forewarning, I am NOT a mental health professional yet. But from all the classes I've taken here is my assessment of you.

You obviously have a lot of paranoid delusions about people scheming or plotting against you, as well as unreasonable thoughts about others following you and possibly wanting to cause harm to you. This, coupled with the reclusiveness and severe discomfort around people, and your highly active fantasy world are all pretty clear signs that you might be suffering from Paranoid Schizophrenia. The emotional numbness you mentioned is also an indicator of this; it's called flat affect.

You didn't mention this, but do you everhallucinate; hear things that aren't there, see things that aren't there, feel things that aren't there? If the answer is yes, then it is even more likely that you have this disorder. Another thing I'm curious about is how old are you? My guess is 17-23.

But if you care about your future, and becoming happy and content again, I'd advise you too seekimmediate psychological help, because whether or not you have Schizophrenia, you have some pretty big problems. If you do have schizophrenia, you need to consider with your doctor the possibility of neuroleptics(anti-psychotic drugs), as well as regular psychologicalassistancefrom a psychologist or social worker.

Again, I'm not a professional yet, and I'd strongly advice you to seek professionalassistance. You are potentially dealing with something extremely serious. If you have any questions for me, just post them here.

Best of luck to you pal

[QUOTE="clembo1990"]1. You are anxious about something you have done, find it and fix it. 2. You are anxious about something you have done, find it and fix it. 3. Chill out you can not control everything, live in the present. 4. Confess your secrets, don't hold them in, be yourself (as they say) 5. You're worried about what people think of you, don't, you shouldn't care what people think because they can only do that, think. 6. Find something you like doing, a hobby or go to the gym (v useful) 7. You are lacking structure in your life, doing something everyday like going to the gym balances out your day. Nobody is sunshine all day long you just have to live for the moment. 8. Most importantly, shut up there's nothing wrong with you it's just a phase.peppersfan2

No its not just a phase. Its not just a matter of "growing up and being more confident" i feel paralyzed and unable to move Its not just anxiety but fear. I can't just shrug it off.

There is a difference between normal adolecent turmoil and what I'm feeling.

I keep busy and I go to college full time.

I am seeing a therapist right now. I haven't really told her any of this stuff. From the little that I have told her about my OCD she wants to put me on anti anxiety medication and in a few weeks I'm going to see a new doctor who is better trained.

When I see her I'm going to be more honest and tell her whats really going on. All of it. I can't keep this stuff up any longer.

peppersfan2

That's an excellent idea. I hope you feel better soon.

[QUOTE="Gamer4Iife"][QUOTE="clembo1990"] I had this it's called "being a teenager" disease, I don't like to say people are definately wrong but I'm sorry to say you are, definately. It's all in his head, it's not a disease like cancer it's just stuff like junk.clembo1990

You have a gross misunderstanding of what modern-day psychology is about.

[QUOTE="clembo1990"][QUOTE="Gamer4Iife"] Joke post? :? I'm 19 and never had any problems like that. I even studied psychology for a year, some of the things he said definitely qualifies as a mental disorder.DivergeUnify

I'm going to school for Psychology right now, and just as a forewarning, I am NOT a mental health professional yet. But from all the classes I've taken here is my assessment of you.

You obviously have a lot of paranoid delusions about people scheming or plotting against you, as well as unreasonable thoughts about others following you and possibly wanting to cause harm to you. This, coupled with the reclusiveness and severe discomfort around people, and your highly active fantasy world are all pretty clear signs that you might be suffering from Paranoid Schizophrenia. The emotional numbness you mentioned is also an indicator of this; it's called flat affect.

You didn't mention this, but do you everhallucinate; hear things that aren't there, see things that aren't there, feel things that aren't there? If the answer is yes, then it is even more likely that you have this disorder. Another thing I'm curious about is how old are you? My guess is 17-23.

But if you care about your future, and becoming happy and content again, I'd advise you too seekimmediate psychological help, because whether or not you have Schizophrenia, you have some pretty big problems. If you do have schizophrenia, you need to consider with your doctor the possibility of neuroleptics(anti-psychotic drugs), as well as regular psychologicalassistancefrom a psychologist or social worker.

Again, I'm not a professional yet, and I'd strongly advice you to seek professionalassistance. You are potentially dealing with something extremely serious. If you have any questions for me, just post them here.

Best of luck to you pal

Shenmue_Jehuty

I don't really see things or hear things.

Also I don't belive myself to be rational in my beliefs. I know that their not realistic afterwards or even during but I can get caught up in the moment. Let me give you an example of something that happens In this instance whenever I get my hair cut.

"hmmn those hair stylists don't speak english. What if their talking about me and saying bad things about my hair?"

"what if they heard that? Don't think of something racist! Damn! What if they heard that and want to mess up my hair as revenge?"

"no thats not realistic your just being crazy again. Nobody can read your mind! Stop being stupid." "Listen if you are reading my mind I'm sorry I didn't mean that"

Then I leave and am so releaved to be out of that situation. Other times I get scared my friends are hacking into my computer or can see my Myspace edit history. I know that they would never do that but I just get so worried by the idea of it. Then I feel bad for suspecting them even though I know they would never do that.

Othertimes I wonder what if my laptops microphone is on and somebody is listening to me.

[QUOTE="clembo1990"][QUOTE="Gamer4Iife"] Joke post? :? I'm 19 and never had any problems like that. I even studied psychology for a year, some of the things he said definitely qualifies as a mental disorder.Shenmue_Jehuty

You have a gross misunderstanding of what modern-day psychology is about.

I don't really see things or hear things.

Also I don't belive myself to be rational in my beliefs. I know that their not realistic afterwards or even during but I can get caught up in the moment. Let me give you an example of something that happens In this instance whenever I get my hair cut.

"hmmn those barbers don't speak english. What if their talking about me and saying bad things about my hair?" "what if they heard that? Don't think of something racist! Damn! What if they heard that and want to mess up my hair as revenge?" "no thats not realistic your just being crazy again. Nobody can read your mind! Stop being stupid." "Listen if you are reading my mind I'm sorry I didn't mean that"

Then I leave and am so releaved to be out of that situation. Other times I get scared my friends are hacking into my computer or can see my Myspace edit history. I know that they would never do that but I just get so worried by the idea of it. Then I feel bad for suspecting them even though I know they would never do that.

Othertimes I wonder what if my laptops microphone is on and somebody is listening to me.

The delusions concern me, but what is of some comfort is that you can distinguish between what is real and what isn't; one of the key features in psychotic individuals is a large lack of insight into there madness. But again, please, please tell your psychologist about this and have them evaluate you. At the very least, you have severe social anxiety and severe distortions of peoples intentions. It is interesting that many of your thoughts involve people judging you, or possibly withdrawing their favorable opinion of you; they may e linked. Anyhoo, I hope things look up for you man; I know it is horrible to feel like you are a prisoner of your own mind.

Yeah I know. I feel better by posting this and I'm going to talk about it and try to get help.

I just felt really bad today and I felt like I needed to make a topic about how I felt. I didn't really expect any good responses but I did get some good ones.

Thanks.

[QUOTE="clembo1990"][QUOTE="DivergeUnify"] psychiatry is a medical feel and psychiatrists can prescribe medicine. what are you talking about?DivergeUnify

I have no idea.

By the way, how old are you, kid? If you don't mind me asking.

[QUOTE="DivergeUnify"][QUOTE="clembo1990"] There's nothing wrong with what I said there is, however, a massive gap in logic in yours. Have you ever questioned the integrity of psychiatry? No? Well it's conclusions aren't exactly irrefutablely 100% You may as well have a medicine man give oyu a placebo than listen to the pantomime of human understand of mental "health" (funny how we actually consider the concious mind to have a state of physical health).clembo1990

[QUOTE="Shenmue_Jehuty"]

[QUOTE="clembo1990"] Psychiatry is a dogma you have to buy into to believe. I'd rather use things that actually help (yeah I took psych. A level too, it's a young science and completely Osterich-with-its-head-in-the-sand to everything it does in terms of ethics), giving this guy a label won't help if he can just be told to fix his life. Before his control is taken away less drastic measures could be used.clembo1990

You have a gross misunderstanding of what modern-day psychology is about.

Your assumption that psychiatry and psychology are based on a bunch of unfounded assumptions that are dogmatic is completely inaccurate. Psychology and psychiatry, like physics, biology, chemistry, or astronomy are based on the scientific method and all adhere to the principles of science. In true science there is no such thing as dogma; evidence and theories are always open toscrutinyand alternative theories. The only catch is that you have to prove your alternative idea, over and over again before it replaces the currently held theory. What we have right now in modern day psychology is not perfect, but it is what we have right now, and we do not except it as the complete truth, only part of it. We take these parts and use them in ways that expand our understanding of the human mind. We also use our limited understanding to assist people with mental pathology. Any psychological professional that claims psychology has all the answers is wrong, but what we do have has been proven to help millions of people with a large array of problems. Again, they aren't perfect, but they are what we got, and they are continually improved and revised.

And common sense can be very misleading and filled with error. Scientificinquirysuffer far less from these problems.

And it would make sense that people seeing a psychiatrist would not be "normal." If they were, why would they be seeing a psychiatrist in the first place.

And I do see where you are coming from; like any profession there are individuals whoincompetent. Incompetence in my field can come in the form of know it all, there is no other way doctors who say "well it says this in this book and this is why it is fact. period." This is wrong and misleading, and any professional who thinks this really needs to consider their usefulness to those they serve. But at large, most professionals in psychology don't carry the dogma you mention.

Anti Psychiatry is a dogma in and of itself. The idea that all individuals diagnosed with a disorder simply need to "toughen up" is foolish and naive.

Just because psychollogy is a new science (which its not) we should not apply what we know at all in practice? Thats not a good idea.