Best insult you ever heard

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Blitz_Nemesis

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#1 Blitz_Nemesis
Member since 2005 • 8042 Posts

What the funniest and most insulting thing you have ever heard?
This one isnt that great but since this is GS, "The only play you get is from playstation."(play being action from the ladies)

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1stCommando

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#2 1stCommando
Member since 2003 • 4969 Posts
I do not like you very much.
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DeeJayInphinity

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#3 DeeJayInphinity
Member since 2004 • 13415 Posts
My cousin once asked me "Why are you going to college?" And umm yeah...
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comp_atkins

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#4 comp_atkins
Member since 2005 • 38694 Posts

"die"

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RamboSymbiot

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#5 RamboSymbiot
Member since 2007 • 6302 Posts

[This message was removed by myself after rethinking of the language and disgusting nature used in this particular post would get me banned]

Sorry guys, it was a damn good insult too....

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martialbullet

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#6 martialbullet
Member since 2006 • 10948 Posts

Some dude said "I was just wondering......If a human and monkey ever bred, what would their baby look like?"

and some other guy said "you"

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jus2nyce

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#7 jus2nyce
Member since 2005 • 1574 Posts
"he's not as easy as you Sara, but then again who is?" That's what I call a BURN
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jmorey01

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#8 jmorey01
Member since 2004 • 2637 Posts

My friend was asking why no one would sit by him on the couch when we were playing mario party 8 and my friend said:

"Because your farts smell like blueberries and hell."

It was funny because it rhymed.

I'm an idiot. :(

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PlasmaBeam44

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#9 PlasmaBeam44
Member since 2007 • 9052 Posts
This
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el_wortho

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#10 el_wortho
Member since 2004 • 25 Posts

Ive heard several,

"say what you like about size, when its like throwing a redwood in the grand canyon nobodys gonna notice" was one of my personal favourites though, just because of how harsh but justified it was

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BobbyTurkalino

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#12 BobbyTurkalino
Member since 2003 • 31460 Posts
I'm probably not allowed to say it due to the langauge that was involved.
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blackngold29

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#13 blackngold29
Member since 2004 • 14137 Posts
I'm probably not allowed to say it due to the langauge that was involved.HillyBilly
Type it backwards.
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hokies1313

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#15 hokies1313
Member since 2005 • 13919 Posts

My one british friend has a nice insult.

Willy Face.

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aaronmullan

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#16 aaronmullan
Member since 2004 • 33426 Posts
Go cut your wrists you metalhead...lol..
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mrbojangles25

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#17 mrbojangles25
Member since 2005 • 58529 Posts

"You were an accident"

thats the best (in terms of cruelty) I think any family member could say to another.

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Uxal

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#18 Uxal
Member since 2007 • 593 Posts

So what are you up to?

"Yo Momma"

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Shiggums

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#19 Shiggums
Member since 2007 • 21436 Posts

Some dude said "I was just wondering......If a human and monkey ever bred, what would their baby look like?"

and some other guy said "you"

martialbullet

I've seen the offspring of such a union...we call him monkey boy (clever name right? ;))

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MissRiotmaker

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#20 MissRiotmaker
Member since 2007 • 8593 Posts

So what are you up to?

"Yo Momma"

Uxal
I already used that. Get a better one.
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deactivated-5e97585ea928c

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#22 deactivated-5e97585ea928c
Member since 2006 • 8521 Posts

We have a friend from Manitoba, and we always make hick jokes to him, and this one time i had one of them nutrigrain bars and someone was smooshing it up and was gonna throw it away but i said

"Oh common [Friend]'s family spent a long time growing the grain to make that and you go and waste it"

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darkmoney52

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#23 darkmoney52
Member since 2004 • 4332 Posts

The best insult I've ever heard was actually from my parents. They'd just caught me smoking and I thought they were going to scream at me; instead my mom looked me in the eyes and asked "Aren't you a little too nerdy to be smoking?". She was completely serious but I almost lol'd anyway.

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LAZZOR

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#25 LAZZOR
Member since 2006 • 5000 Posts
I guess one of the best ones I heard was on tv. I was watching MLG and it was a match between Team Carbon and I can't remmeber the other team. Carbon was winning and the loudmouth player on their team shouts at the other guys "Why do you play this game!?". I lol'd.
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WSGRandomPerson

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#26 WSGRandomPerson
Member since 2007 • 13697 Posts
" Emo. " I hate it when people call me that, just because i wear black.
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Zaeryn

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#27 Zaeryn
Member since 2005 • 9070 Posts
" Emo. " I hate it when people call me that, just because i wear black.WSGRandomPerson
Some people at my school call the littlest things emo, including me. It makes me laugh.
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cool_baller

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#28 cool_baller
Member since 2003 • 12493 Posts

O.M.G. Greatest Story Ever.

I was in the Breakroom at work, and there was another guy and two other girls who were on lunch. The guy was eating so weird looking stuff. And one girl says, "What the heck are you eating?" He says, "I dont know," then she says, "You don't know what it is and your eating it?" He replies, "It's like when you're a baby and your mom give you food, you don't know what it is."

Then I say, "So you are calling yourself a baby?" And everyone was like lol. THen he says, "Yeah so what if I am?" And I reply, "You're the damn ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Classic.

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-KinGz-

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#29 -KinGz-
Member since 2006 • 5232 Posts

The best thing I can ever remember be saying to a girl when she was being a douche to everybody was "I think you might have put the tampon up the wrong hole".Zaeryn

:lol: got a new insult now.

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esb1118

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#30 esb1118
Member since 2007 • 2661 Posts
I wouldn't piss in his ear if his brain was on fire!
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Ninja-Vox

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#31 Ninja-Vox
Member since 2006 • 16314 Posts

"Oh yeah? Well if you look up the word stupid in the dictionary, there's a picture of you!"

"You're 19 years old and you have to look up the word stupid in a picture-dictionary?"

Kelly Ripa!

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-TheSecondSign-

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#32 -TheSecondSign-
Member since 2007 • 9301 Posts
One time I told this guy off because he was being a jerk, and he said "Your mom" Needless to say, I had no planned comeback.
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DivergeUnify

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#33 DivergeUnify
Member since 2007 • 15150 Posts

[QUOTE="Zaeryn"]The best thing I can ever remember be saying to a girl when she was being a douche to everybody was "I think you might have put the tampon up the wrong hole".-KinGz-

:lol: got a new insult now.

Indeed, that was good :P
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cametall

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#35 cametall
Member since 2003 • 7692 Posts

"You're a butt"

Someone here posted about their little brother calling them a butt. Cracked me up.

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Pearl_of_Egypt

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#36 Pearl_of_Egypt
Member since 2007 • 4073 Posts

this is the most insulting thing I've heard but it wasn't funny to me.

I was out clubbing with some friends and went to get a drink at the bar. these Italian guys start talking to me and one of them asks me what my ethnicity is. I said I was Egyptian and he said "What?! But you're so beautiful! It's like a flower growing out of a pot of dirt!"

I couldn't believe he thought that was a compliment, I felt like throwing my drink in his face :|

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fmacraze

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#37 fmacraze
Member since 2007 • 5658 Posts

"Oh yeah? Well if you look up the word stupid in the dictionary, there's a picture of you!"

"You're 19 years old and you have to look up the word stupid in a picture-dictionary?"

Kelly Ripa!

Ninja-Vox

... not quite a great insult (referring to the first one)

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LoG-Sacrament

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#38 LoG-Sacrament
Member since 2006 • 20397 Posts
the only one thats within tos that i can think of is "if my nut looked like your face, id hit it with a hammer."
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CrimsonSilver

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#39 CrimsonSilver
Member since 2007 • 1108 Posts

This may not be funny and will be totally innaproporiate but when I read this I was cracking up like hell.

So, I was screwing your sister, and she stuck her finger in my arse. I was like what the EFF? And she goes, what?"person you're insulting" likes it.

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CrimsonSilver

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#40 CrimsonSilver
Member since 2007 • 1108 Posts
"You have to stop the q-tip when there's resistance!"-Chandler Bing
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lazzordude

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#41 lazzordude
Member since 2003 • 6685 Posts

this is funny because it was being said to a "big girl":

hey babe.are your legs made out of peanut butter,cuz they look chunky and easy to spread.

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camreeno360

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#42 camreeno360
Member since 2005 • 6850 Posts

Here's some contenders for the crown.

  • "buttwort"
  • "scrotum sandwich"
  • "grandma screwer"
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Pearl_of_Egypt

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#43 Pearl_of_Egypt
Member since 2007 • 4073 Posts

this is funny because it was being said to a "big girl":

hey babe.are your legs made out of peanut butter,cuz they look chunky and easy to spread.

lazzordude

that's terrible...

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Quadrifoglio

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#44 Quadrifoglio
Member since 2006 • 5451 Posts
[QUOTE="lazzordude"]

this is funny because it was being said to a "big girl":

hey babe.are your legs made out of peanut butter,cuz they look chunky and easy to spread.

Pearl_of_Egypt

that's terrible...

That's awesome! :lol:

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Wima5ter-134

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#45 Wima5ter-134
Member since 2007 • 640 Posts
Yo Mamma SOOOOOO fat.....she eats wheat THICKS!!! I like that one.
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Pearl_of_Egypt

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#46 Pearl_of_Egypt
Member since 2007 • 4073 Posts
[QUOTE="Pearl_of_Egypt"][QUOTE="lazzordude"]

this is funny because it was being said to a "big girl":

hey babe.are your legs made out of peanut butter,cuz they look chunky and easy to spread.

Quadrifoglio

that's terrible...

That's awesome! :lol:

guys like you are the reason why so many girls out there have eating disorders. you should be ashamed of yourselves... :?

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rexs9

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#47 rexs9
Member since 2005 • 289 Posts
[QUOTE="Quadrifoglio"][QUOTE="Pearl_of_Egypt"][QUOTE="lazzordude"]

this is funny because it was being said to a "big girl":

hey babe.are your legs made out of peanut butter,cuz they look chunky and easy to spread.

Pearl_of_Egypt

that's terrible...

That's awesome! :lol:

guys like you are the reason why so many girls out there have eating disorders. you should be ashamed of yourselves... :?

Right and the media,fashion and popularity has no part in it, it's just us men, its all so clear now.

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wemhim

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#48 wemhim
Member since 2005 • 16110 Posts
[QUOTE="Quadrifoglio"][QUOTE="Pearl_of_Egypt"][QUOTE="lazzordude"]

this is funny because it was being said to a "big girl":

hey babe.are your legs made out of peanut butter,cuz they look chunky and easy to spread.

Pearl_of_Egypt

that's terrible...

That's awesome! :lol:

guys like you are the reason why so many girls out there have eating disorders. you should be ashamed of yourselves... :?

That was mean, however, guys get some bad stuff too. We all do.
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Pearl_of_Egypt

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#49 Pearl_of_Egypt
Member since 2007 • 4073 Posts
[QUOTE="Pearl_of_Egypt"][QUOTE="Quadrifoglio"][QUOTE="Pearl_of_Egypt"][QUOTE="lazzordude"]

this is funny because it was being said to a "big girl":

hey babe.are your legs made out of peanut butter,cuz they look chunky and easy to spread.

wemhim

that's terrible...

That's awesome! :lol:

guys like you are the reason why so many girls out there have eating disorders. you should be ashamed of yourselves... :?

That was mean, however, guys get some bad stuff too. We all do.

I just don't like people who make fun of others like that, whether they be directed at males or females. people like that just come off as insecure children to me.

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Dargiboo

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#50 Dargiboo
Member since 2007 • 648 Posts

I have a few from a kid on my bus that are just long, gross insults usually refering to your private parts being from the opposite sex.

I definitely can't say them but they're pretty good.