Are you bothered by profanity if not meant as an insult?

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deactivated-5b797108c254e

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Poll Are you bothered by profanity if not meant as an insult? (61 votes)

Yes, there’s no excuse for that kind of language regardless of your intention. 7%
There’s a time and a place for it. If you know the difference, I’m cool. 36%
As long as they’re not trying to insult me, I don’t mind. 15%
Have at it, I don’t care. 13%
The fu** you talkin’ bout son? I ain’t got time for this sh**… 30%

Definition vs Context

Yesterday I had a conversation with a group of friends of different nationalities about expletives and whether the definition of a word is more important than the context in which said word is used or vice versa. The opinions were divided.

For example, if I say that my computer is acting **** I’m not trying to compare it with a person with mental disabilities, because I would never call such a person a *****. Just like if you call me a sexy motherfu**** (and feel free to =P) I’m not going to assume you are implying that despite my obvious good looks I have sex with my mother. Some of my black friends occasionally greet each other (and me, even though I’m not black) with “sup ****?” as easily as they’d use “bro” or “homie”…it’s just a lame joke to them. If I make a sarcastic comment they’ll tell me that “I’m such a dick” and laugh. None of these are offensive to me.

Now some people of the group were of the opinion that no matter what you mean with the word you use, the word is offensive simply by its definition regardless of how “innocent” or friendly your intention was. Personally I think that there’s a time and place for it…I wouldn’t drop an f-bomb in front of my in-laws but won’t worry too much about it with friends.

What’s your opinion on this?

(Also, there was this theory that our nationality/culture/upbringing was the factor that prevented us from agreeing on this so if you wouldn’t mind let me know what your nationality is and what you feel about it. I’m Portuguese and living in the Netherlands)

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Byshop

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#1 Byshop  Moderator
Member since 2002 • 20504 Posts

Not even remotely. For me it's all about intent. I've even laughed at racist jokes directed at my race if I thought they were funny and not intended to be meanspirited.

-Byshop

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deactivated-5b797108c254e

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#2  Edited By deactivated-5b797108c254e
Member since 2013 • 11245 Posts

@Byshop: There's not enough funny jokes about Portuguese people. I feel left out =P

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foxhound_fox

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#3 foxhound_fox
Member since 2005 • 98532 Posts

Profanity is just sound being uttered from a mouth.

Context of the profanity and the emotional energy behind it is what makes it offensive.

"****" to someone who doesn't speak English is a meaningless word. Said in a manner that conveys anger or hatred, one wouldn't need to know what the word means to understand the force behind it.

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deactivated-5b797108c254e

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#4 deactivated-5b797108c254e
Member since 2013 • 11245 Posts

@foxhound_fox: That's a good point. When I moved here I didn't understand what was being said about me but I could understand the tone it was said in; it was enough to be offensive.

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DaVillain

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#5 DaVillain  Moderator
Member since 2014 • 56194 Posts

If someone is using profanity on me, I don't take it personal nor does it bother me when someone use the N word on me, doesn't matter what color, the N word and such is just a word and I know it's just trying to look cool. I'm not the type of person to tell someone that your retarded, that's just plain stupid.

But however, if you use death threats words on me, then we'd have a problem here. Racist jokes are one thing I'm cool with but using death threats is another thing I won't tolerate.

Voted: As long as they’re not trying to insult me, I don’t mind.

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elkoldo

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#6  Edited By elkoldo
Member since 2009 • 1832 Posts

Pedro I hope you don't feel offended at what I addressed you as the other day. If so, apologies.

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deactivated-5b797108c254e

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#8 deactivated-5b797108c254e
Member since 2013 • 11245 Posts

@elkoldo: Of course not! Weirdly enough you were actually right too so you had both definition AND context down =P

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#9  Edited By elkoldo
Member since 2009 • 1832 Posts

@korvus: Alrighty then.

As for the topic, there's a time and place for it. You can't just go down the street and talk to every stranger like that, or a politician on TV can't use this kind of language, even though they don't mean the offense.

Also, lols at that last poll option.

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jun_aka_pekto

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#10  Edited By jun_aka_pekto
Member since 2010 • 25255 Posts

I rather people avoid using profanities in normal talk, especially racist ones because the chances for a misunderstanding between people of different nationalities or races are too high.

I certainly don't believe in one race having the privilege to use certain racist terms on themselves and then getting pissed off when someone of another race uses the same term on them.

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Allicrombie

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#11 Allicrombie
Member since 2005 • 26223 Posts

Cursing is for sailors.

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outworld222

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#12 outworld222
Member since 2004 • 4236 Posts

Yes, yes I am. It's highly unbecoming of any high browed gentleman.

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KHAndAnime

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#13 KHAndAnime
Member since 2009 • 17565 Posts

No, but I am bothered by people who are afraid to use it.

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raugutcon

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#14 raugutcon
Member since 2014 • 5576 Posts

@outworld222 said:

Yes, yes I am. It's highly unbecoming of any high browed gentleman.

No s*t ?

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Catalli

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#15 Catalli  Moderator
Member since 2014 • 3453 Posts

Time and place for everything. I'll dip my feet into any type of comedy, but only when I know it'll be properly received, and when I know I won't hurt anybody with it. I expect the same from others.

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darklight4

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#16 darklight4
Member since 2009 • 2094 Posts

Doesn't bother me at all, people can swear as much as they like around me. If directed at me however expect a barrage back.

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RobotOpBuddy

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#17 RobotOpBuddy  Moderator
Member since 2004 • 65506 Posts

@foxhound_fox said:

Profanity is just sound being uttered from a mouth.

Context of the profanity and the emotional energy behind it is what makes it offensive.

"****" to someone who doesn't speak English is a meaningless word. Said in a manner that conveys anger or hatred, one wouldn't need to know what the word means to understand the force behind it.

Well said, unfortunately it's not quite the same when profanity is used via text - but even there context is a very big factor in whether or not it's likely to be seen as offensive by the reader.

That said, there's a time and place for everything - I certainly wouldn't go into a business meeting and start spewing out profanities regardless of whether or not they're used offensively. With friends or other like-minded individuals and used in an inoffensive manner? sure, why not, they're just words, nothing more.

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iloveatlus

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#18 iloveatlus
Member since 2009 • 599 Posts

Anytime I see a stranger using profanity, I always judge them. I don't mind or judge any of my friends when they're using bad language

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deactivated-5b797108c254e

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#19 deactivated-5b797108c254e
Member since 2013 • 11245 Posts

@iloveatlus said:

Anytime I see a stranger using profanity, I always judge them. I don't mind or judge any of my friends when they're using bad language

When said stranger is using profanity while talking at you or just a random person talking to his/her friends?

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iloveatlus

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#20 iloveatlus
Member since 2009 • 599 Posts

@korvus: both

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#21 deactivated-5b797108c254e
Member since 2013 • 11245 Posts

@iloveatlus: I would probably find it quite strange if someone randomly approached me and started cussing for no reason =P

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deeliman

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#22 deeliman
Member since 2013 • 4027 Posts

I think it;s stupid not to keep the context in which certain things are said in mind,

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#23  Edited By johnd13
Member since 2011 • 11126 Posts

Depends on the occasion. I wouldn't indulge in any profanity when talking to a stranger or person outside of my age group. Among my friends though strong language or racist, mom jokes etc are not unusual. Just for the lulz. I don't really care but I would expect a similar mentality from others too.

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#25 deactivated-5b797108c254e
Member since 2013 • 11245 Posts

@magicalclick: Probably a wise decision. Even though I use that language myself it's still annoying to talk to people who have to cuss 5 times per sentence.

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-ParaNormaN-

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#26 -ParaNormaN-
Member since 2013 • 1573 Posts

Not unless it is abused like this:

Once upon a fucking time, a fucking bitch named Katy fucking ate a fucking pie because she was fucking hungry and shit. Then she fucking called this asshole a fucking asshole because he fucking put a fucking piece of fucking habanero in her fucking apple pie.

Some people talk like this and it makes me want to slap their damn mouth and tell them to go back to school.

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SaintLeonidas

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#27  Edited By SaintLeonidas
Member since 2006 • 26735 Posts

@-paranorman- said:

Not unless it is abused like this:

Once upon a fucking time, a fucking bitch named Katy fucking ate a fucking pie because she was fucking hungry and shit. Then she fucking called this asshole a fucking asshole because he fucking put a fucking piece of fucking habanero in her fucking apple pie.

Some people talk like this and it makes me want to slap their damn mouth and tell them to go back to school.

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genius2365

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#28 genius2365
Member since 2010 • 495 Posts

@KHAndAnime said:

No, but I am bothered by people who are afraid to use it.

Why is that? If people don't want to use profanity, then what is the harm in that? I grew up in a household where profanity was just a big no-no, but that's just how I was raised. I've gotten to the point where I might use one occasionally in my head, but never actually say it in person. For me, the very definition of the word is enough to keep me from using it, though I definitely understand those who just base it off context.

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tshot70

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#29 tshot70
Member since 2015 • 26 Posts

Every Once in a while, but not after every word.

Example: "You have fucking got to be fucking kidding me. **** YOU!"

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thehig1

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#30 thehig1
Member since 2014 • 7537 Posts

not bothered by it regardless of how its used or what context its used in, if someone is being aggressive towards me using profanities it not the profanities that offend me and get me angry.

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Master_Live

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#31 Master_Live
Member since 2004 • 20510 Posts

A curse word can be the right word to use on a certain occasion and it can't be substituted (and it shouldn't), but a lot of time it's just used by people that have a limited repertoire and can't be precise.

Sure, context is important.

But in general, I'm bothered. I try to stay away from those kind of people.

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#32  Edited By Treflis
Member since 2004 • 13757 Posts

Generally no.

It is a matter of context though.

If someone stubs their toe, screw up in a game or it's among close friends when it's more of a banter between them then I'd not only not see a problem with it but I'd also expect it.

While eating at a resturant or various other situations where you're not with your close friends/Perhaps family then I'd usually arch a brow at it.

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ReadingRainbow4

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#33  Edited By ReadingRainbow4
Member since 2012 • 18733 Posts

Never really, unless it's every other word. I see no issue with using expletives to elongate a sentence. In fact usually hearing and using bad language makes me more comfortable, especially if it's around people I've never met, it's a way that I know I can kick back and not have to worry about what people think of me at the time.

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indzman

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#34 indzman
Member since 2006 • 27736 Posts

@Byshop said:

Not even remotely. For me it's all about intent. I've even laughed at racist jokes directed at my race if I thought they were funny and not intended to be meanspirited.

-Byshop

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jun_aka_pekto

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#35  Edited By jun_aka_pekto
Member since 2010 • 25255 Posts

The circle of friends I keep are all family guys. I don't recall any of them cuss out in casual talk even among us guys. Some of them used to when we were single. I guess things change once someone gets hitched and have a family.

I suppose the folks here who don't mind being foul-mouthed also don't mind if their women are foul-mouthed as well.

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#36  Edited By quatoe
Member since 2005 • 7242 Posts

I don't mind how often people swear or how much. I use the words often so if other people do awesome, if not cool as well. If people do not like a lot of swearing I will tone it down a bit, but usually I sound like a trucker. Probably because my father was a trucker.

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#37 MakeMeaSammitch
Member since 2012 • 4889 Posts

Yes, it's unprofessional and seems a bit trashy.

I understand that things slip out some times, but some people just cuss like sailors, and I don't respect that.

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indzman

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#38  Edited By indzman
Member since 2006 • 27736 Posts

Few smartasses use profanity on users then make the excuse of just kidding with them HaHa.

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#40 lamprey263
Member since 2006 • 44589 Posts
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Celldrax

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#41  Edited By Celldrax
Member since 2005 • 15053 Posts

No, not at all.

Pic somewhat related.

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horgen

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#43 horgen  Moderator  Online
Member since 2006 • 127513 Posts

To some degree no. But if half the words coming out of your mouth is profanity I will be annoyed.

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Master_Live

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#44 Master_Live
Member since 2004 • 20510 Posts

@Iszdope said:

I, for one, hate the c word.

I never use it.

Liar! I have seen you using it.

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Buckhannah

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#45 Buckhannah
Member since 2013 • 715 Posts

I'm offended by people who are offended by it.

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#47 deactivated-5b797108c254e
Member since 2013 • 11245 Posts

@jun_aka_pekto said:

I suppose the folks here who don't mind being foul-mouthed also don't mind if their women are foul-mouthed as well.

I hope so, otherwise we'd be hypocrites. If I cuss then why shouldn't my wife be allowed to?

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horgen

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#48 horgen  Moderator  Online
Member since 2006 • 127513 Posts

@korvus said:

@jun_aka_pekto said:

I suppose the folks here who don't mind being foul-mouthed also don't mind if their women are foul-mouthed as well.

I hope so, otherwise we'd be hypocrites. If I cuss then why shouldn't my wife be allowed to?

She is your wife so it's up to you to decide :P

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indzman

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#49 indzman
Member since 2006 • 27736 Posts

@horgen said:

@korvus said:

@jun_aka_pekto said:

I suppose the folks here who don't mind being foul-mouthed also don't mind if their women are foul-mouthed as well.

I hope so, otherwise we'd be hypocrites. If I cuss then why shouldn't my wife be allowed to?

She is your wife so it's up to you to decide :P

Something tells me Mrs K is as nice as Mr K , not cussing kind of peeps :P

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#50  Edited By MlauTheDaft
Member since 2011 • 5189 Posts

Intent over content when it comes to banter and casual debate. If it's serious, you're better off being explicit and appropriate in tone, because you may get quoted.