19 years old in college, never had a girlfriend, still a virgin, not afraid to talk to girls: What am I doing wrong?

Define not terribly looking.

@dragonfly110: Im not in physically bad shape and I dress like how normal people dress. This is the one factor that I am least concerned about.

@thegerg: Thank you for that spelling advice

Perhaps you should ask a girl on a date first.

If you want to be part of the chain gang you better be able to keep a secret. If a woman trusts you and feels secure you won't go tell the world she'll have sex with you.

I mean not any woman but most who like casual sex just want someone that they are 100% sure won't humiliate them.

@andrewerdna100: Without anything more specific about the way you look, I'd have to say it's either something off about your personality, or you just haven't been direct enough in your interest in women. Being confident and friendly with them is not enough to necessarily make someone see you as a potential partner, you have to be more direct and let them know you're interested, without crossing the line into the realm of being a creep.

Will college girls care about his intelligence? Especially after he said guys are having sex with random chicks.

You're only 19 man get a grip.

Yea but most teenagers have relationships and sex during highschool. Based on what he said, he my stay a virgin for 19 more years. =(

Ok, so you can talk to them. Have you tried asking any of them out?

Ask a girl at school. That is your best bet. Ask a friend why you can't get any action.

theres nothing wrong with being a virgin. Dont stamp your V card to the first girl that opens her legs. I did that and now i regret it deeply.

Pretty girls? So normal girls are hard for you and ugly girls are impossible?

Why do i feel you're aiming for girls that are just campus sluts?

Dont worry..

When I was in college.. I was more worried about getting good grades playing baseball and really wasn't trying to get laid or anything. Then there were a couple of chicks who liked me and one thing led to another.

takes time dude

As long as you don't end up like me, (nearing 30 and haven't even kissed anyone) I wouldn't worry too much. Like someone else said, you're only 19. There's still plenty of time.

have you actually asked a girl out? like even to just get coffee or something?

From your portrayal of the situation, it's likely to be a simple matter of time. You started with low confidence but then remedied that, so it could be that you're on the way but not just there yet - you must not weary. But there's also the possibility that you're pursuing something that's not for you. Not everyone develops emotionally and psychologically at the same pace, and different people have different needs and virtues. If you're the kind of person who thrives in intimacy, you'll find it difficult to enter the young dating scene which overvalues frivolity and undervalues intimacy.

Ultimately, this is about you and you seem to have a decent grip on that. Focus on being the best you can be and good things will come your way. Don't go astray and lose sight of the things that matter for trifling, evanescent pleasures. And remember, you win some you lose some. Don't pity yourself if the status quo persists but identify the opportunity lying therein. Always add a temporal dimension to your outlook and you'll soon discover that your affliction is gratuitous.

@andrewerdna100: don't be desperate, it will come

It´s funny how this actually works. But with girls they can smell desperation a mile away and will often run the other way.

So my advice is relax, the girls will come when you least expect it.

You need a fat wallet of cash.

Do most guys really care who they lose their virginity to? I mean I know most girls probably do, but personally I'm of the position of

Your path will be a great one, don't worry about whats happening around you. You are very young still so much more ahead. Your the type of guy who at the end will end up rich, because you had no putty tang time during your study years, and at the end with a huge house and a super model. You are the man ! Don't u forget it. Cheer up buddy, life is just beginning for you. Just because they getting laid now, don't mean crap.

@LexLas said:

@andrewerdna100 said:

I see all of my friends around me here getting girlfriends or having sex with random chicks and I can't help but to feel desperate. I want the same exact stuff that all the other guys around me are getting but it's not happening. I am not afraid to talk to pretty girls and most of the time they enjoy talking to me but they are never attracted to me. I am not great looking but not terribly looking either.

Any advise on what I need to do? I used to have low confidence when it came to all of this but I have built it up pretty far and now I want results.

Your path will be a great one, don't worry about whats happening around you. You are very young still so much more ahead. Your the type of guy who at the end will end up rich, because you had no putty tang time during your study years, and at the end with a huge house and a super model. You are the man ! Don't u forget it. Cheer up buddy, life is just beginning for you. Just because they getting laid now, don't mean crap.

Well said. Thumbs up.

My first advice would be don't waste your time trying to pursue sex with "random" chicks. What good is it if it's really meaningless and it's not with someone whom you care about and who cares about you? Too many bad things can come out of that: hurt feelings, strained friendships, diseases.

Don't feel ashamed of your virginity or feel that you have to get rid of it by a certain age. I'm older than you and I never had sex or dated or anything like that. Hey Time's 2013 Person of the Year is a virgin in his seventies:

Sarah Swafford says that the problem in many relationships is that people go from the acquaintance stage straight to dating. She says people should get to know each other as friends first and spend a lot of times in groups of friends before they move onto dating and then into courtship. I don't know if she's right or not, but what she says does seem reasonable.

To be honest, I'm pretty much going through the exact same thing in college right now. Like you, I used to have low confidence and trouble talking with girls, but now I'm much better in terms of social interactions. I've even asked a few girls out, even though they've turned me down, but still, getting that courage was a massive step for me.

My advice to you would be just to be yourself. Don't convince yourself that you need to have sex now just because your friends are doing it now. I know all the stories about party hookups and college babes can sometimes make you feel desperate, but you've got to keep the larger picture in focus. Everyone is unique, nobody hits the same milestones at the same time, and nobody has the same values.

Focus on what you enjoy doing, on being with your good friends, enjoying your hobbies. That's my mentality at the moment. Some stuff will just come at their own pace. That doesn't mean to completely abandon talking with girls or trying to ask them out, but don't let that be your singular purpose.

If you just focus on enjoying yourself and being yourself, not only will you be more happy, but you'll appear more driven, more motivated, more confident. Not only do these qualities make you a better person on the inside, but people on the outside will also notice these qualities. That is what will set you apart, and that's what girls really want when it comes to finding long-term partners: someone committed, someone fun, and someone who has a life aside from chasing girls or having sex. Someone who has goals, dreams, and is willing to work and sacrifice to achieve them.

So, basically, don't worry about it. We're still young and we shouldn't bow to social pressure and have sex just because everyone else is, no matter how hard it is to resist the physical urges. There are bigger things in life then how many girls you can sleep with in a week, like our personal goals, values and dreams. If we focus on self-improvement, on what matters to us, and being the best person we can be, then you're putting all the odds on your side to land the girl of your dreams ;)

Just get to know as many girls as possible

Be more proactive, I had a friend I didn't know was interested in me for years and I didn't even here it from him.

Beer and low standards work wonders. Start hanging out with the girls who want one and have the other just make sure you use protection.

Dude, I'm 28 and still a virgin, calm the hell down! No need to rush!

I suggest you learn to socialize more. Think that you are unafraid when approaching women and having the experience to know it are different.

Why is that? Do you have an itch that won't go away?

But were you interested in him back?

nope but she is a bad person. I cant give my first time to a good women now. Maybe its not important to you, but im a romantic at heart.

I lost my virginity at 24. No big deal. Just take it slow. Just because everyone around you is getting some doesn't mean you have to follow the trend and be a sheep. Even at 24 I regretted doing it the the person I did it with

@ianhh6:

I was somewhat interested, he wasn't my dream guy or anything but we both benefited from me knowing.

So, he's no longer your friend? :(

@loco145:

What? We're still friends for sure.

its the SPELLING u do wrong! OH NO! ... :p

Seriously tho, when it comes then it comes... u never know... doesnt matter 19 or 29... the RIGHT time... will be... when it has to be the RIGHT time...
Don't push it with random chick, love is not about just sex with random girl man... and all those guys around you? They are worse in reality.
I don't understand how this would make u happy... It won't....

I got that ONE girl who is a DREAM for me... in age of 21... first love and still same.... after many years...

PATIENCE. And just ask for dates... simply. won't hurt u. It's not just the very good looks, its personality... and how comf. you feel with her.
(unless u really want Aids? lol)

@mjorh said:

@LexLas said:

@andrewerdna100 said:

I see all of my friends around me here getting girlfriends or having sex with random chicks and I can't help but to feel desperate. I want the same exact stuff that all the other guys around me are getting but it's not happening. I am not afraid to talk to pretty girls and most of the time they enjoy talking to me but they are never attracted to me. I am not great looking but not terribly looking either.

Any advise on what I need to do? I used to have low confidence when it came to all of this but I have built it up pretty far and now I want results.

Your path will be a great one, don't worry about whats happening around you. You are very young still so much more ahead. Your the type of guy who at the end will end up rich, because you had no putty tang time during your study years, and at the end with a huge house and a super model. You are the man ! Don't u forget it. Cheer up buddy, life is just beginning for you. Just because they getting laid now, don't mean crap.

Well said. Thumbs up.

And Double triple that.... that is well said indeed.

You're putting Women on a pedestal, they shit and have flaws just like Men... just go out there and **** someone, once you've done it you'll be over it. If you're shit whocares, you don't have to see them ever again :\ My first time I broke 3 condoms which was all I had, it was embarrassing, but shit happens lol, you just try again.

The only thing that truly matters. Dress nice, smell nice and drive a nice car and women will murder each other over you.

Or you could just go to a party with plenty of booze. EZPZ.

Start with asking one out.

@Slannmage:

My first time I broke 3 condoms

How did you manage that?

Anacomda

I dunno, inexperience I guess, after that day I bought a load and practiced lol.

But tbh Condoms suck any ways, always better to be in a relationship where she's on the pill since they don't feel great.

@Slannmage:

I didn't know condoms were something that required practice.