Well, MMOs are really designed to sustain their player base over long periods of time, and one can only build so much content into a game over a given time frame. It stands to reason you're going to be doing some things more than once, which is by definition grinding. Still, some grinds are more egregious than others, and I would just recommend avoiding anything Chinese or Korean if you don't have patience for grinding. I don't think the newer western MMOs are bad with it, though I'm thinking of the more popular ones.
What annoys me most about MMOs, though, is they design this whole world to play in that suddenly becomes useless at max level. Some of them, like Wildstar, even seem to approach their larger world like, "well you're not gonna come back here anyway, so who cares?" Then, all that's left is the gear treadmill - doing dungeons so you can get gear that lets you do the dungeons you're already doing.
I really like how DCUO had feats that could grant you more skill points to make your character stronger and you had to accomplish specific things in the game to earn those feat points...couldn't just beat up on the same monster over and over. MMOs really need to de-emphasize activities that disengage the player from the game itself - like grinding - and emphasize actual interaction with the game's various activities. Sorta like how you get legendaries, griffon mounts and other goodies in GW2.
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