We've all had it before, just not this far past the expiration date.

User Rating: 6.5 | Darksiders II PS3
There's a coin-up laundry about a 30 second walk from my apartment, that's where I do my clothes. Wash and Dry. A girl I'd been sleeping with came in with me once. As I was about to throw in some white shirts with the colors she told me not to do that. I usually don't give two rats. I'll throw anything in there. Receipts, loose change, my passport, even an ipod. I do the same thing with food. Well, not exactly. I don't throw electronics in my chili, but I do add random ingredients hoping that they'll somehow help the finished product become something delectable.

I feel like THq was thinking along these lines with Darksiders 2. Just throw in a bunch of different design elements and ideas from all games until the present day and see what happens. And what happens is a finished product that feels like a combination of two or three games you've already played. In my opinion, I'd say Darksiders 2 is a combination of God of War, Zelda and Uncharted with some extra RPG stuff tacked on. The combat is God of War in a nut shell, brainless button smashing (or skilled timed and choreographed button selecting, however you want to call it). Cinematics, World Design, and many enemy types feel like there stripped from some rejected 3D Zelda title. Climbing around like a monkey I'll give to the Uncharted series and the Skill Tree system could go to any RPG so no use getting into that one.

It's really not fair that I played this game after Dark Souls. It really isn't. It's as bad as playing Half-Life 2 then playing Serious Sam 2 right after. Sure, maybe the games aren't meant to be exactly comparable. But still, on one side (Dark Souls Side) we have a game that was developed with a clear creative and unique vision in mind, while on the other side we just have a rehash sandwich with too much ketchup.

It's a case of developers being over-ambitious. Too much is happening in Darksiders, as a result the World, and the characters in that world, all feel cheap. The climbing aspect is cool but you can't climb everything so you run into that situation where it's like, "Why can't I climb this when I just climbed that tall friggin thing over there like three seconds ago?" Combat is just one big button mash fest so you don't feel to in control of battles, nor do you feel like you've actually accomplished anything when you do take down a larger than life foe. Enemies drop loot ballsacks all the time so you'll be constantly glancing back and forth between the inventory screen, soon you'll be tossing away those old pants and gloves. After awhile you'll be hoping you find a box a diapers to remove the need to travel to the bathroom entirely. Then you'll be calling your mom to change those dirty suckers for you so you can still game.

I lost myself there. I lost myself because my gay roommate just came in asking me why my room was so clean. I told him this girl I'd been sleeping with cleaned it up. Yes, the same one who told me not to wash the whites with the colors. Yes, the same one who told you to miss out on Darksiders 2. Yes, the same one who listens to stupid Jazz music at 8 in the morning while you're just trying to drink your morning Joe and get ready for work.