Gerstmann Checks In

Gamer Jeff Gerstmann checks in, but he doesn't check out - of Zelda 64. Read more of his journal here.

Thursday 11:00Back up and running, and I'm feeling much more clear-headed. Let's hope that the rotating room thing was just a figment of my tired imagination. Or at least hope that the reason it was so hard was because I was nearly delirious.

11:38Getting some sleep did help, as I just ran through the dungeon with no problems... except for, of course, Phantom Ganon, the temple's boss. Died again. That makes two deaths.

12:12Beat Phantom Ganon after dying a third time.

12:15Got Epona, the horse. Riding the horse is really, really neat. When people were making a big deal over the horse months and months ago, I thought they were crazy. But it really is, well, breathtaking. Looks like the second temple is on Death Mountain.

14:48Went back in time to collect some heart containers and get a few more of those crazy spider tokens. Looks like I was wrong. The second temple is the Ice Cavern, located at Zora's Fountain.

15:39Wrong again. The Ice Cavern isn't the second temple, but you need to go through there to get to the second temple.

16:30Still wrong. The second temple is the fire temple. That's what I get for ignoring Navi. Oh well, at least I've done stuff that will make getting to the water temple (which I'm pretty sure is the third temple) easier. Also got the water-resistant and fire-resistant tunics, so I can make Link wear red or blue at will... it's like he's a one-man gang war or something!

17:10The fire temple is neat, though it's full of those firebats (no, not those kind of firebats... go play Starcraft or something, silly) that burn your shield up when you're a kid. I hate when that happens.

18:14Died at the hands (claws?) of the dragon that serves as the boss of the fire temple. I should really go back and get some more bottles... two just ain't cutting it. For those of you keeping score, that's four deaths. The dragon's pattern is really pretty easy, as you're essentially playing Whack-A-Mole with him using the hammer you get in this dungeon. Just run away when he comes all the way out of the hole, hit him if he's just peeking his head through. Morale is high, and I'm not at all frustrated.

19:15Just blew an hour fishing. I was hoping for a bottle, but I got a heart container, so at least it wasn't a huge waste. I don't need another bottle to beat that silly dragon, anyway. I believe that I will take a shower at some point tomorrow - I'm starting to offend myself.

19:21Heating up a Breakfast Jack in the microwave at this very moment. Breakfast Jack... gooooood.

19:32Don't you hate it when you open a soda and find that you already had one open. Oh well... I'm no stranger to two-fisted drinking. Back to the action....

19:44Beat the dragon - barely. My own stupidity almost cost me another life. I kept missing with the stupid hammer. On to the water temple....

22:05Progress has slowed. The water temple is pretty rough. It's got lots of corridors that look the same, and you have to manipulate the water level to get everywhere. I keep running around in circles, and the map isn't too big of a help. I'm thinking about drawing my own map of the level.

Friday00:25Zero progress. I briefly toyed with the idea of throwing my extreme green controller through the window. And while the controller extension cord would allow that to happen, I've decided against it. Early in the level I pulled a block out, not quite knowing what it did. Now I can't move the block out of my way. There's a treasure chest on the other side of the block, which most likely contains a key, which would be of great assistance right now. Sleeping on my problem worked last night. Hopefully I'll have a similar result here, because I'm completely and totally stuck, and the more I swim around the stupid water temple, the more bodily harm I want to cause to myself and others.

08:39Awake, alert, and ready to go. I've got one theory to test. I may have already tested the theory, but I really don't remember. Maybe it's just my mind wanting to maintain a sense of false hope or something.

09:02Progress! Sweet, merciful progress! And, of course, it was something completely simple that I should have thought of. Guess my mind was too clouded to realize it. Here's a tip that most of you probably won't need: Your fire magic will light torches. Duh. It just goes to show that if you sit in front of a game all day and night, you will eventually lose your mind.

09:17OK. I got a little bit further, but there's just another locked door. So I'm pretty much right back where I started.

09:44Looked closer at map. Realized where another key was. Moving forward. Man, the map sure is easier to read when you're well rested....

10:02Midboss is pretty tough. I won't spoil it, because it's pretty cool, but let's just say he has a similar fighting style to Link's. Died a fifth time. That'll teach me not to run around dungeons with empty bottles, hopefully.

11:11Found the boss key for the water temple. Finally.

11:39Beat the water temple. Now on to... hmm... I don't know what I'm supposed to do next.

11:53Found the shadow temple. I'm starting to get hungry. Might take a little break pretty soon here.

12:04Put another case of sodas in the fridge. Heating up a Breakfast Jack in the microwave. They taste better fresh, but Jack In the Box doesn't deliver.

12:58Keep making dumb mistakes. Not mistakes that will kill me or anything, just mistakes that force me to do the same thing again and again. Just need to take a couple deep breaths and continue on.

13:29There's a lot of crazy invisible stuff in the shadow temple. Don't even think about going in without the Lens of Truth. Random thought: Whatever happened to Classy Freddie Blassie?

14:00I'm right near the end of the shadow temple. The boss key is behind a spiked wall that slowly closes in on you. I've tried looking for hookshot targets, but there doesn't appear to be any. There are a few holes in the two spiked walls, but the hookshot won't go through them. Hmm... they're made of wood... maybe fire?

14:02Yep. Fire.

14:24Died at the hands (and I do mean hands) of Bongo Bongo, the boss of the shadow temple. Six deaths. I've got to go refill my bottles... I should really get the other two bottles. It's just silly for me to run around without them.

14:51Bongo Bongo has been liquidated. Only one more temple to go....