What use is a game when its gameplay is broken and dull? The Simpsons Wrestling is complete inexcusable trash.
It's reviewer custom to get rid of the good things first in the case of a game such as this. (I actually hate using the term "game" to describe this complete inexcusable trash) Alright, so here goes - the music is familiar. Yeah, there's the Simpsons theme... and... some other pieces. But anyway... let me desperately think of other redeeming qualities... the graphics! Oh no, they're rubbish... I'll try and think again. Yeah! Unlockable characters! Oh no... you have to actually play the game first to unlock the characters...
So, I'll just shut up now and plunge into the rotten depths of this soulless game. Right from the menu screen, it's clear just how disturbingly bad this game is. And when you've actually picked a match to get started on, you are forced to go through an overlong loading time with a pig-ugly animation to pass the time. And - predictably - this animation is Itchy & Scratchy repeatedly smacking each other with mallets. Again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, for about the length of time it would take somebody to read all of those "agains" out loud.
And then the real problems begin. This is the bit where stevenscott14 starts uncontrollably crying.
The game finally loads up onto a familiar Springfield scene. It could be the Kwik-E-Mart, or the Bowling Alley, or wherever, and two of your favourite characters are facing off against each other for no reason whatsoever. But the problem is, they're not your favourite characters at all. In the TV series the characters are full of life and personality, bursting with humour and rife with charm. They've been ported to the PlayStation astonishingly badly. Their eyes bulge out of a mass of yellow polygons and their clothes literally look like PlayDoh. Plus, their voices are nowhere near as funny as they are on the TV show, and their quotes are lame as hell, and you're not likely to laugh at this empty wit they seem to explode with.
To make things worse, they move as well. That's a good thing, right? Wrong. The Simpsons Wrestling has inexplicably awful animation. Each character moves like their legs aren't attached to their body and like they've had a little too much alcohol to drink. GameSpot gave the graphics a score of 8, I measure them out as a 3. Seriously, these visuals are absolutely appalling. This is meant to be the Simpsons, for heaven's sake!!! Not the International Convention for Unrealistically Rendered and Retarded Zombie-Mannequins!!!
Gameplay is also very very bad. What gameplay?!? The controls are poor and limp. The characters move like the ground has transformed into a bed of treacle and they're terribly unresponsive. There's just no satisfaction in hitting your opponent, and the game must have the worst collision detection system in the history of crappy videogames. You're meant to be wrestling, dammit! Not slapping people in slow-motion!
I don't need to go into depth. Whatever fun you wanted to have in fulfilling the roles of your favourite Simpsons characters, it just isn't present in this lifeless piece of trash. The game now serves as an all-purpose circular object in my house, whether it's a frisbee, a coaster, a gigantic plectrum, or a UFO to scare my pet cats, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that there's plenty other quality games on the PlayStation for you to go spending precious money on such a biblical waste of time.