Spongebob Is A Uneven Adventure, Its Like I'm Having An Acid Trip And Everyones A Flying Blur Of Colours.
SpongeBob Squarepants: Revenge of the Flying Dutchman may look fun based on the box art, but in reality it's mostly a waste of a good 50 bucks. In this game, you play as Spongebob himself, who discovers an ancient treasure chest that contains a mysterious bottle. Curious, he opens the bottle and accidentally lets the ghost of the Flying Dutchman loose. He plans to force Spongebob and his friends to become members of his pirate crew whether they like it or not. One by one, Spongebob's friends are hypnotized and put under an evil spell. Spongebob must find the Dutchman's 7 lost treasures scattered throughout the several worlds so you can find the Dutchman's secret hideout and save your friends. In order to do this, you must find nine ''letter tiles'' in each world that spell ''S-P-O-N-G-E-B-O-B''. Then you must unscramble them, revealing the location of the hidden treasure in the current world. Then you have to move on to the next location and repeat the process. It gets pretty boring and tedious after a while. But luckily, the game isn't all about exploring. Occasionally, you get to fight the Dutchman's monsters that appear everywhere. Although it might sound fun to fight as Spongebob, it's actually not. Enemies will hardly move as you attempt to hurt them and will only make a noise that sounds like they're constipated. The aiming system is terrible, so you'll need some practice just to get one blow inflicted on your opponent. The only other feature this game has is the ability to change costumes, therefore changing your current powers. This is actually not an important feature and there's no real reason for doing it, but it's worth it: there's no other way to change the music. Graphics : What graphics? Characters in this game look like robots when they move, and there's nothing good or notable about the visuals here. When characters talk, their mouths don't move to the words. There are some attempted sad moments in this game, such as when Spongebob's pet snail Gary is taken by the Dutchman. But the emotion on Spongebob's face doesn't do anything to dramatize how ''terrible'' this incident is. How exactly are we supposed to feel bad about what's happening when Spongebob's face looks like he's glad? In fact, if there wasn't any voiceovers, it would seem like Spongebob was happy his snail got taken. The graphics in this game, anywhere, are bland and lack everything necessary to make it appealing. Sound : There are literally less than five music tracks in this game: one for each costume you are in. Unless you change into another outfit, the annoying tune in the background stays exactly the same throughout all the worlds you visit. Costume change tents are hard to find in the first place, so you'll either need to turn the volume down or have a good amount of tolerance for MIDI-sounding songs. The only feature in SBSP's audio that was a good addition was the use of the real voice actors to give the character's voices (with the exception of the narrator). Even though it's a good bonus, the words don't even match up with the character's mouth. Then again, you don't have to watch... Nothing good here: button configuration is awkward, your character moves like a robot, aiming at enemies is frustrating, and the camera angles are bad. Definitely could use improvement. Gameplay : All of the goals in the game are painfully linear, and you'll spend most of the time aimlessly wandering, looking for the next clue. All you'll usually be doing is following the to-do list that is found in the main menu. The only other thing you'll be doing besides walking around is ''fighting'' the Dutchman's pirates, but it's actually more fun continuing to wander. Since enemies will only move a few steps to get you, it's WAY too easy to defeat your opponents. But if you don't feel like it, you don't have to either. Since killing someone earns you no bonus but the satisfaction of seeing them grunt like they're constipated, there's no harm in avoiding opponents. Don't bother running from them either... they won't move far even if you begged them to. SpongeBob Squarepants: Revenge of the Flying Dutchman is fun for about a minute, then it gets boring and pointless as you aimlessly wander through bland worlds searching for clues. It's not any different from other Spongebob games, so save your money and put it to something that you know you'll enjoy better (which is probably any other non-Nickelodeon game).