I'm going to preface this review by mentioning a few things first. First off, I have no fond memories of this game. I don't speak from nostalgia goggles, nor from a disposition of a reinforced bias from the original, 2003 release. I remember being frustrated with the game's controls, not knowing what to do, and just thinking the game looked ugly; granted I was 8, so the "not knowing what to do," was most likely a user error. Secondly, the reviewer for this game was not only incompetent with the gameplay, but actively not implementing the features properly or using any kind of critical thinking while attempting to make decisions in a 3D platformer designed for kids in the year 2003. Most of the critiques can be chalked up to User Error (get ready to hear that a lot).
With all that being said, I went into this game with higher expectations than I probably would have normally. Though I remember the original game in somewhat more of a "meh, kinda bad," light, I had become more aware of the community over the years, namely the speed-running community. From this, I could see where the charm of the game could shine through, but I still never had any urge to pick up and play the original myself. When I first heard of this remake, I noticed 2 major things: The graphics and character designs/expressions were much better and of a 2020 quality (in my opinion), and the style of gameplay and level design was very well kept and in tact. This made me realize this was more than just a re-imagining a la N. Sane Trilogy or Spyro Reignited, but genuinely a remake in just the very authenticity of the original. For that reason alone, I could tell this wasn't made to please anyone other than fans of the original game and Spongebob fans in general, so I decided this was something I would definitely get Day 1.
The Pros of this game definitely outweigh the Cons, at least for what I was looking for. I found myself seeing nearly the same exact environments I played before, but this time finding more fun in it all. While I never completed the original game, I have seen multiple playthroughs of the game (both online and in person), and could generally sum up where the grievances or joys lied, so I knew what to expect from every level and Golden Spatula. The colors and overall design were a big plus for me, I remember playing many Spongebob games back in the early 2000's and being mostly disappointed with the character models, but THQ Nordic and Purple Lamp really outdid themselves with that. There may be too much of a prim and polish with the overall game feel, but there is still character in the game. The developers at Purple Lamp really made a game for Spongebob fans. When the original released, there were only 3 seasons of Spongebob of material to work with, and while they haven't touched on the levels in anyway to modernize it, they add subtle (and not-so-subtle) references and memes which is just how Spongebob has evolved over the years. Even to the point where a background fish NPC just dabs for no reason. Adding elements like Handsome Squidward in Squidward's house, updated paintings and artwork in the background, Spongebob and Patrick doing the D: faces from the first movie, it's very self aware. The gameplay feels relatively in tact. I know the weighty jumping and physics engine is not as snappy and precise as the original, however the movements of abilities and moves give a much quicker and more responsive feedback, so I think it's a fair trade off (plus that's just how Unreal Engine 4 feels, so I've grown accustomed to it).
In every game their's going to be gripes, and while they are not as prevalent for me, I feel in order to fairly critique this game you need to understand the prefaces I mentioned earlier. This is not a game meant to be compared to the games of 2020. This is not a game made for everyone (you could argue that with any game though). This is a passion project made to simulate and recreate the nuances and antics of a 2003, 3D, Collect-a-thon Platformer. Of course this game isn't going to hold a candle to the likes of Mario Odyssey or even an older title like Banjo and Kazooie. This, however, should be something to keep in mind when thinking "well that seems old-school." or "that's an archaic design choice." That being said, the existing cons from the 1st game are more or less in tact. The areas are still shoddily designed for a game of its genre, some game mechanics don't respond well (jumping on surfaces that have their own physics like the leaning stones in Jellyfish Fields or the floating platforms around Downtown Bikini Bottom, those sorts of platforms). Though the Day 1 Patch did catch a great amount of them, there are still graphical glitches from time to time, but they are hardly game-breaking as they are corrected almost immediately. Things such as textures not loading in completely for a second, or surface gradients not meshing properly, and the like I experienced throughout my playthrough. It wasn't anything game breaking like a soft-lock or glitch, but they were noticeable. I've only experienced the PS4 version, but I've heard similar things from my friend who owns the Switch version. I very rarely ran into areas of frame dropping, and it was mostly due to the processor having to chug along so many particle effects of a bunch of Shiny Objects flying at the same time, but never because an area of the game was choppy. I've also experienced a camera glitch where my preferences were swapped back to default every time I switched characters, but I have already sent a bug notice to THQ Nordic, so this might already be an irrelevant comment in maybe a month's time with a simple patch update, but as of now this is something in the PS4 version at the very least.
A HUGE underside to this game, however, is the inclusion of the multiplayer mode. It honestly soured a bit of the game's overall score for me as: it's not very well thought out, it's monotonous and tedious, it nets you nothing in terms of achievements or unlockables, it felt super rushed and tacked on to a the final product, and it really just isn't fun. I don't know why it was included outside of the fact THQ Nordic and Purple Lamp saying they wanted to add in a scrapped idea from the original game with Robo-Squidward, but the robot has no personality or even a story tied to it like the others, not to mention the areas you fight in are empty and drab.
Even with these gripes in mind, I still found myself very entertained and surprised by my experience with Battle for Bikini Bottom: Rehydrated. Again, I had no fond memories to look back on, I wasn't playing this game for any nostalgic purposes, if anything my opinion for the original game only softened maybe 2 or 3 years ago. I was honestly giving it a second chance based on all the genuine love and support the community was giving to these developers and I wanted to experience the product of that labor of love. And what I got was a genuinely fun game that was made for the Battle for Bikini Bottom community and Spongebob fans alike. It's not a perfect game, but it wasn't trying to be. That doesn't mean I shouldn't judge it any less than I do other games, so I stick with my 7/10 -- which in my books is still above average considering there are 6 other placements for games under it and only 3 above, I feel people think about high school grading when it comes to ranking/rating things like games and movies and it translates poorly as things become more black and white rather than a gray area, but I digress -- it's honestly closer to 7.5 so leaning towards an 8 rather than a 6, but hey Gamespot only gives us whole numbers, so I'm sticking with a 7. Overall, I can say without a doubt that if you are a Spongebob fan, you will enjoy this game. If you are a 3D Platformer fan, you will find elements of the past in here that are fun to look at and look back upon, but nothing too special (and that's OK). For me, I had a lot of fun playing this game, and I love how it came to be. It goes to show how a community's love and passion for a game can translate well through the medium of video games.